What Do You Expect from you MFP friends?

Planenut
Planenut Posts: 2
edited September 22 in Introduce Yourself
Just wondering if it is worth it to have friends or if this is like Facebook where friends sometimes are clique-ish and/or ignore you.
Opinions appreciated, thanks is advance.

Edit: "Your" MFP friends is what I meant, and thanks "in" advance. *sigh*

Replies

  • utes09
    utes09 Posts: 561 Member
    I guess the question is more what you expect from your MFP friends. I message a couple every so often if I have a question or if they post something about having a bad day or whatever.

    I'm mainly here to track my food and know where I am that way.
  • MissAnjy
    MissAnjy Posts: 2,480 Member
    I find here that the majority of my friends are there for encouragement and support. They've been great. It's NOT like facebook where people "friend" you just to see what's going on in your life behind the scenes.
  • Dom80
    Dom80 Posts: 146 Member
    I dont expect anything. Its nice when it posts your stats and you get encouragement. I havent noticed it getting cliquish......Its all good.
  • melodyg
    melodyg Posts: 1,423 Member
    YES! It is definitely worth it to have friends on MFP!

    I usually friend request people who have similar goals to mine or are dealing with similar challenges. I have found that my friends are very supportive. I haven't really thought of what I expect from them... but I suppose it is just what they have given me:
    1) Support on the rough days when I feel like giving up
    2) Encouragement! I know I have friends who look at my food diary and will let me know if it has been a good day or if I've been slacking (keeping in mind that everyone has bad days). Same for exercise... which I have *really* been slacking on lately!
    3) Ideas -- for different foods to try, exercises to try, etc. -- I get these from looking at food/exercise diaries of my friends (many have public diaries)

    I haven't found friends to be cliquish at all. I have some friends who are more active on MFP than others (in posting status updates, etc.) but that is okay with me.
  • MyaPapaya75
    MyaPapaya75 Posts: 3,143 Member
    I dont expect anything ...but ive had a lot of my friends for over a year and they offer support as well as recieve it from me...some i share my personal life with and others i havent
  • edorice
    edorice Posts: 4,519 Member
    My friends are AWEsome. A lot of mutual support and great ideas.
  • TheMaidOfAstolat
    TheMaidOfAstolat Posts: 3,222 Member
    I don't expect anything...but I do talk to some on a daily basis...where as some of them I talk to once a month. I try to check in on the ones that haven't been on in a while and others that I know need the encouragement to keep going. Friends are well worth it!
  • LadyPersia
    LadyPersia Posts: 1,445 Member
    Not like facebook at all. I ask my MFP friends to motivate me and I will do that in return.
  • WonderNoodle
    WonderNoodle Posts: 549
    friends are key to support i think. i've got a core group that we all converse each day on the feed, supporting each other. i have accepted many requests, but have weeded my list down to the peeps that i feel i help and def help me.
  • TuscanySun
    TuscanySun Posts: 3,608 Member
    I have found that if you find one or maybe two threads that speak to where you are in life and/or on this fun-filled trip we're on...and stick mainly with those threads, you'll develop really great friendships with like-minded folks who understand where you're coming from.

    There are a few friends I've made on MFP that are definately life time friends...not just faceless people on the net. The fact that they've been where I"m at and understand me has been priceless and is a MAJOR factor in my successes thus far, and I'm sure will motivate me to reach my final goals.

    Be selective and mindful when accepting and sending friend requests.

    Those are my thoughts....good luck!!
  • daybehavior
    daybehavior Posts: 1,319 Member
    love that will rogers quote, noodleheadgal

    Im sorta new here and I try to comment on ALL my fitness pals' statuses. I don't have a strong connection with anyone yet other than we are all going through the same struggles. I try to be as proactive as possible with others but I don't expect everyone to comment on me which is OK since at the end of the day, I'm in it for me. Of course I wish everyone on my list success and encouragement but if they don't reciprocate, it's no big deal :)
  • lab_goddess
    lab_goddess Posts: 170 Member
    The group of friend I have on MFP are an integral part of my success and definitely help keep me motivated! I've even met a couple in person that live reasonably close by, and have "friended" a couple on facebook. I like to keep MFP separate from facebook, because i need (and like) the focus of this website. There have been times when i have been off track with my eating and/or exercise, and the support from my MFP group helps me get right back on track. I know we ask each other questions and solicit opinions on all kinds of things including diet, exercise, nutrition, recipes, stress eating, etc. I wouldn't be nearly so far along as i am now with my group! I think you get back more than you put in. You have to be a friend to have friends, and this website definitely creates some common ground for developing those friendships!
  • marniehodges
    marniehodges Posts: 264
    MFP is totally different from Facebook. That's been my experience anyway. Sometimes I think people "friend" you on Facebook just to bump up their "friend numbers". I have so many friends on Facebook and hardly ever hear from any of them. I joined here because my daughter talked me into it because of the food journal and exercise journal because I felt that if I held myself more accountable I would do better, and I do. The friendships I have made here have been a great bonus! I am lucky though...I have an amazing group of friends that urge me on :bigsmile: I hope you are as lucky!
  • AmberElaine84
    AmberElaine84 Posts: 964 Member
    I don't expect anything! I never expect ANYTHING from ANY of my friends, for that matter!! Friends are friends and just that! I try to offer them support and encourage them. If someone asks me a question, I answer them honestly. This is not like facebook, this site is a lot more intriguing! I don't know anyone personally, and we are all struggling in our own ways and running the same race!

    On that note, I do so love my MFP friends!! They are all kind and friendly! Very encouraging and supportive of me, and vice versa!
  • Planenut
    Planenut Posts: 2
    Thanks for all the responses. In retrospect, I think what you "expect" from friends on MFP wasn't the best choice of words. I mean, on Facebook, I had many "friends" who never commented on anything wrote or on any of my pictures, etc. yet some of them found lots of time to comment on other mutual friends accnt. And OMG, some thought it was Twitter or that posting 5,000 pics of their children was great. Friends are a 2-way relationship, no? At least, that's how my friends in my "real" life are . Again, thanks for the responses. Sorry if I came off as standoffish or *****y. I'm not really. :smile:
  • kaymd
    kaymd Posts: 470 Member
    I have a Facebook account but find the two VERY different! I keep my friends on Facebook updated on my weight loss and that's about it. I did post something on Facebook that I should have saved for just here and got one comment I didn't like therefore, I don't post anything like that anymore. The people here are way more supportive and for the most part don't judge me. I feel like I "belong" here. I try to comment on as many statuses as I can during the day because I know I LOVE the encouragement. If I'm struggling with something I know I will have support also. MFP IS my new Facebook. (I have also learned a lot from this site).
  • GiGi76
    GiGi76 Posts: 876 Member
    My friends are AWEsome. A lot of mutual support and great ideas.

    That right, my friends are Awesome too and Edorice you just happen to be one of those friends!!!! ;-)
  • CombatVet_Armywife
    CombatVet_Armywife Posts: 300 Member
    Perhaps I am the minority here, but I do 'expect' something from my 'friends' or 'friendships'. I think it's human nature. Whether it's in person or not, I've always been the type to put an extreme amount of effort, dedication, attention, and love into my friendships & over time realized I wasn't getting it in return. A path of destruction. I only mention this so others may understand why I say what I do about friendships. The bottom line for me, as I've always said, is that 'I only expect as much as I give'.

    I totally agree with you lovedcats....it's a 2 way street. If there are people who are not logging in, whether to log their food, their exercise, or even comment on their pals, and it's a constant cycle, I've had to let them go. Usually after a month of being MIA. Simply because it becomes a demotivator for me. I need pals who are going to 'show up' and 'take part' in this journey.

    But to answer your question, this site is completely opposite of facebook. I actually left FB months ago and never looked back....for all the same reasons you mentioned. This site, at least from my experience, is just full of supportive and motivating people who are going through all of the same struggles you are. I do not believe my success so far would have been possible without the wonderful people I've met here on MFP! I truly hope you're able to encounter the same! :)
  • daybehavior
    daybehavior Posts: 1,319 Member
    ^
    excellent response.

    OP, you didn't come off as standoffish. It was a perfectly legitimate question that merited discussion.
  • GiGi76
    GiGi76 Posts: 876 Member
    Perhaps I am the minority here, but I do 'expect' something from my 'friends' or 'friendships'. I think it's human nature. Whether it's in person or not, I've always been the type to put an extreme amount of effort, dedication, attention, and love into my friendships & over time realized I wasn't getting it in return. A path of destruction. I only mention this so others may understand why I say what I do about friendships. The bottom line for me, as I've always said, is that 'I only expect as much as I give'.

    I totally agree with you lovedcats....it's a 2 way street. If there are people who are not logging in, whether to log their food, their exercise, or even comment on their pals, and it's a constant cycle, I've had to let them go. Usually after a month of being MIA. Simply because it becomes a demotivator for me. I need pals who are going to 'show up' and 'take part' in this journey.

    But to answer your question, this site is completely opposite of facebook. I actually left FB months ago and never looked back....for all the same reasons you mentioned. This site, at least from my experience, is just full of supportive and motivating people who are going through all of the same struggles you are. I do not believe my success so far would have been possible without the wonderful people I've met here on MFP! I truly hope you're able to encounter the same! :)

    Another one of my girls.... and she is Amazing!!! I do the same as far as deleting someone after they arent showing up for a month or more.... i want people who are here to work and CombatVet knows how to work!!! :wink:
  • knipperhd
    knipperhd Posts: 8
    Perhaps I am the minority here, but I do 'expect' something from my 'friends' or 'friendships'. I think it's human nature. Whether it's in person or not, I've always been the type to put an extreme amount of effort, dedication, attention, and love into my friendships & over time realized I wasn't getting it in return. A path of destruction. I only mention this so others may understand why I say what I do about friendships. The bottom line for me, as I've always said, is that 'I only expect as much as I give'.

    I totally agree with you lovedcats....it's a 2 way street. If there are people who are not logging in, whether to log their food, their exercise, or even comment on their pals, and it's a constant cycle, I've had to let them go. Usually after a month of being MIA. Simply because it becomes a demotivator for me. I need pals who are going to 'show up' and 'take part' in this journey.

    But to answer your question, this site is completely opposite of facebook. I actually left FB months ago and never looked back....for all the same reasons you mentioned. This site, at least from my experience, is just full of supportive and motivating people who are going through all of the same struggles you are. I do not believe my success so far would have been possible without the wonderful people I've met here on MFP! I truly hope you're able to encounter the same! :)

    I totally agree with combatvet...maybe because I have walked in similar shoes as her. 21 plus years in the Army - friends have different meaning
  • edorice
    edorice Posts: 4,519 Member
    Thank you Gigi, you rock!

    Also, I didn't answer the q about Facebook. I never signed up on Facebook. I just had a 20 year high school reunion and got in touch and stayed in touch with the people that I wanted to stay in touch with. Seriously, I stay in touch with friends from high school, college, and 40 years of life through email, phone and face to face - I don't need Facebook to do that.
  • CombatVet_Armywife
    CombatVet_Armywife Posts: 300 Member
    Perhaps I am the minority here, but I do 'expect' something from my 'friends' or 'friendships'. I think it's human nature. Whether it's in person or not, I've always been the type to put an extreme amount of effort, dedication, attention, and love into my friendships & over time realized I wasn't getting it in return. A path of destruction. I only mention this so others may understand why I say what I do about friendships. The bottom line for me, as I've always said, is that 'I only expect as much as I give'.

    I totally agree with you lovedcats....it's a 2 way street. If there are people who are not logging in, whether to log their food, their exercise, or even comment on their pals, and it's a constant cycle, I've had to let them go. Usually after a month of being MIA. Simply because it becomes a demotivator for me. I need pals who are going to 'show up' and 'take part' in this journey.

    But to answer your question, this site is completely opposite of facebook. I actually left FB months ago and never looked back....for all the same reasons you mentioned. This site, at least from my experience, is just full of supportive and motivating people who are going through all of the same struggles you are. I do not believe my success so far would have been possible without the wonderful people I've met here on MFP! I truly hope you're able to encounter the same! :)

    Another one of my girls.... and she is Amazing!!! I do the same as far as deleting someone after they arent showing up for a month or more.... i want people who are here to work and CombatVet knows how to work!!! :wink:


    Awwww...thanks doll! You've shown me the way....you ROCK this journey & those of us who are lucky enough to be on your list are so blessed and inspired by you! ♥

    And thanks to everyone else who understood or agreed with where I was coming from. I honestly thought I would be ripped into for the response I made...I'm glad to know I'm not alone in my view of friendships. They mean SO much! Happy New Year everyone....it's going to be a successful one for us all, I just know it! :wink:
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