Trying to get my motivation back...

FitterStrongerHappier
FitterStrongerHappier Posts: 65 Member
in Motivation and Support
Hello peeps...

I've been with MFP for about 2 years now, and in the first year, lost nearly 60 lbs. from about March to December..

My daughter went into the hospital around christmas time, and I kind of fell off around then, struggled for a couple of months, Got Pregnant (so just stopped dieting), and then lost the baby. After this, I had some health problems that arose, various ones, that pretty much wiped me out until early this year.

late last year and into this one, I was taking fertility treatments of various sorts, so my weight jumped a bit - but then my mom went into the hospital, and I ended up having to care for her and my Dad (who has alzheimers) and try to juggle that with taking care of my family as well. 2 houses, sleepless nights, and stress, all took a massive toll - along with no time to focus on meals meant falling back into the fast food rut..

Unfortunately, with all of this, I am up about 40 or so pounds of the nearly 60 that I lost. My mom was back into the hospital this weekend, and finally released tuesday afternoon. it's taken me a few days to catch up on sleep, and I seriously want to get back on this (I tried maybe 2 weeks ago, but with her going back into the ER and admitted, I just lost my focus again).

I'm so exhausted anymore. I don't know if it's the weight gain, or if it's the stress and worry about my parents. my immune system has tanked too, I keep getting sick constantly and am fighting off this infection and that. I've had 4 rounds of antibiotics and 2 rounds of steroids in about 5 months or so.

I want to start working out, but the energy is just not there (i know, the typical answer is that once you start working out the energy comes back) I just don't remember being this wiped out before. I just finished the last round of antibiotics early this week, so maybe my body is just trying to recoup....

I have found myself eating to give myself energy - only it doesn't last. I end up falling asleep in my chair.

Deep down, I know that if I start moving, it should help - walking even, just to get some energy back. Eating healthier too. I'm just having a hard time going because it seems like every time I start, something happens. I get sick, a family member gets sick, some traumatic event happens, and my focus is just lost.

So - any thoughts of encouragement from the masses? I'm tired of starting and falling again. I think what I need is to find another way of coping with stress when things happen. My moms health is very bad - and I fear that things are going to get worse, and if I have to start the cycle that I had to do this week - of: sleeping at my parents house from 9:30 PM to 7 AM to be there with my dad, then leaving at 7 am to come home so my husband can go to work and i can get my daughter up for school, then sending her off to school, then spending the day trying to arrange care for my parents and.. well - starting the whole thing all over again (picking up my dad from day care at 4:00 after my daughter gets home from school then taking him home, spending the night,etc).

How do you get your 'mojo' back, when it seems like life is falling apart around you? How do you find the energy to exercise, when you get no sleep at night (dad has alzheimers, so he was up frequently through the night so very little sleep to be had).

I just feel like I need help - but man, what kind of help can you get in a situation like this? LOL. Other than to talk about it. I need to figure something out. Mom is home, and things have quieted down... for now. but after 2 times in the hospital in just a few weeks, ... I have a bad feeling about the whole thing.

words of wisdom?

thank you!

Replies

  • prestonsnana
    prestonsnana Posts: 69 Member
    You my dear have ALOT on your plate, My advice is to take everything a day at a time, make healthier food choices to start, then when you are not so tired or sick start adding a walk in or something small. Go from there and never give up. God Bless You
  • tracysway
    tracysway Posts: 67 Member
    With all of your stress I would suggest trying counseling. A counselor will give you healthier coping mechanisms. Most of all stop beating yourself up for choices. Each time you slip, pick yourself up and try again.
  • Fuzzipeg
    Fuzzipeg Posts: 2,301 Member
    Any one of the situations you talk about would be enough to knock many of us off our perches. There is so much going on and it sounds like there's only you to give support. I for one an not surprised you are wiped out. Living in the UK I have no idea of any services available to people in other places so I can't help on that one. I only wish I could.

    Please try not to be hard on yourself. As you are contending with so many issues a multi vitamin with minerals might help, it sounds as if because of circumstances you are probably light on these. I know the biscuit tin is/used to be my first port of call when I felt wiped out, I have less going on at the moment, You could try having a box of prepared veg in the fridge, things like cauliflower, broccoli, carrot and celery as well as anything else you fancy. (If they are dry they should keep for a couple or three days) This way you might get the "chew/eat" reflex under control. Most of all try to rest. I am sure you must be very tired and having the knowledge it can all start up again is draining.

    All the very best
  • akagoldengirl
    akagoldengirl Posts: 18 Member
    It sounds like you are really going through a lot! I go through stages too, where I am so happy just being comfortable nothing can pull me out of it, so don't feel down it really is a normal part of the cycle...... One thing that helps me is getting an idea the night before and having every single thing i need ready for when I wake up to exercise. My clothes, shoes, water etc all in a pile next to my bed, so I can put it on straight away - after all, if you're not willing to get it ready when you're up and awake, why would you do it when you are all cosy in bed when you wake up...

    But for serious and amazing change, I would love to put you onto EFT Tapping - Do it as much as you can! It is an energy therapy, that releases stress, and helps change the problems in your life.. Its really amazing. You can youtube free videos like EFT or EFT for stress or EFT for sickness or EFT for weight loss or abundance or whatever... But if you do, make sure to tap along, try a few different ones, breathe a lot too and you will probably experience a really profound experience in the way you feel - of course an EFT therapist is a great way to go and much more personal with higher chance for a profound result, so if you can I say find someone to help you... or just check out the youtube videos...

    I would love to hear how it goes for you! xo
  • FitterStrongerHappier
    FitterStrongerHappier Posts: 65 Member
    Thanks everyone !

    I had seen a counselor many many years ago. at 2 separate occasions for some traumatic events. She had done the 'tapping' thing with me.. and while I can't remember much about it, I do remember it. I did a little of it last night, and I think it helped.

    It's more like a meditation thing I think - focusing on what you want, and .. well.. I think it helps. I really should look into it further.

    There's hope :) Trying to not get wrapped up in the fact that I've gained 40 lbs - I can't change what's already happened, only focus on what I can do to correct it.

    Thank you again!
  • wendyg311
    wendyg311 Posts: 239 Member
    You need assistance. Perhaps start asking at the place your father goes for care, or the social worker at the hospital your mother has been in. There are programs out there to help. You can not juggle all this like you have been for much longer or you may end up getting very sick yourself.

    Good luck and stay well.
  • drattedfatbody52
    drattedfatbody52 Posts: 33
    Dear FitterStrongerBetter,

    You have an incredible amount of stress and responsibility thrust on you right now. Give yourself some grace and start with some small things. If you want to improve your diet and are feeling the fatigue of fast food, just have some of your favorite apples around or some other decent fruit snack instead of all of the carbs, fats and sugars in fries or some other junk.

    If it is your immune system, are you taking a good general multi-vitamin and have had any blood work recently to learn what, if any low or deficient vitamin or mineral deficiencies you could address through supplements. When I started taking my vitamins regularly my family said that I snored less which meant I was sleeping better.

    If it is the exercise that you are longing to reincorporate into your life to help reduce your stress and address the weight you have regained, then start with just 10 or 15 mins a day and get going on that consistently for the next three weeks and you will likely get energized by what you have been able to do.

    Find additional folks and services to help your parents. There is bound to be a local resource that may be able to offer them some assistance even if it is as simple as a ride to their doctor appointments instead of you having to do it. Share the load with any other siblings, even if they are at some distance away. Garner their financial support or at least a listening ear (even if they don't want to hear it) so that you don't feel the entire burden.

    Any steps that you choose to take can help you add more and others until you feel a greater sense of control of this difficult and challenging situation.

    Take care of yourself or you will have nothing to offer anyone. The repeated illness tells you that you are beyond your individual capacity. You are obviously a strong woman. Don't forget to be strong in caring for yourself.

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