Does anybody else ever hear this...?

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meganjcallaghan
meganjcallaghan Posts: 949 Member
in Motivation and Support
"You're TOO skinny"....."You look sick"....."Your face is gaunt now. It just looks.....blah"


I mean.....suuuurrrrriously.....I'm 5'6.5 and 148 pounds. "Too skinny"?......"looking sickly"? There is a lady who is for some reason quite fond of coming into my store and telling me I look like death warmed over and have lost WAY too much weight. Oh yes, and that my face looks just AWful now. All this despite the fact that I'm still in the upper end of 'normal' on the BMI and still have what looks to be a pretty high body fat percentage (though, granted, it's hard to tell what exactly is still hiding under all the loose skin). Anybody else have someone in their life who is determined to convince them that they're completely unhealthy just because you've disrupted the status quo?

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  • dunnodunno
    dunnodunno Posts: 2,290 Member
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    I think the funniest things I have heard is the following:

    "You need to eat a cheeseburger" someone told me that when I was still over two hundred pounds
    "How much do you weigh now? A hundred pounds?" I had someone ask me that recently & I am currently around 158 & clearly do not look even close to 100 pounds. I wonder how much they think someone weighs that is a hundred pounds? 70? 80?
    "You'll fall through yourself if you lose anymore weight" said by someone who weighs a lot less than I do.
  • craftywitch_63
    craftywitch_63 Posts: 829 Member
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    "You'll fall through yourself if you lose anymore weight" said by someone who weighs a lot less than I do.

    I don't even know what this means.

    I'm 5'5" and weigh 154-158 depending upon the time of day, phase of the moon, mood and other circumstances of which I'm sure I am unaware.

    Anyway, just recently a nurse, about as round as she is tall, tried to convince me that I am getting "too skinny" and, "You're losing your curves." Well, yeah, instead of curving outward like before they're beginning to curve inward (thank you weightlfting!)

    Same nurse tried to convince me to stop weightlifting because I'll end up "looking like a man."

    Whatever.

    cYTYMUj.gif
  • onefortyone
    onefortyone Posts: 531 Member
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    It's definitely coming from their own insecurities, whether they're big themselves or not. Bigger people sometimes need reasons/justifications to stay exactly the way they are, which is all on them. Some naturally thin people hate it when their fat friends become their hot friends!

    I'm still over 200lbs though, so no one's said it to me (yet) :D

    I'd take it as a compliment if I do get snarky comments - at least they have noticed, and my health is purely between myself and my Doctor.
  • PunkyRachel
    PunkyRachel Posts: 1,959 Member
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    Yes! I've lost 82 lbs and only want to lose 18 more. Currently my stats are 5'5 148 lbs, BMI is 24.7 and I'm size 6. I'm Skinny yes, but not anorexic skinny by any means! I too hear the "You're too skinny" or "Sickly looking" comments. One person even said they were going to "pray" for me because I looked so "unhealthily thin" and that I need "help".
  • cbhubbybubble
    cbhubbybubble Posts: 465 Member
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    Not yet, but my mom told me today I shouldn't go to the gym so much cuz it's not good for me. I've only been there 3 times this week lol
  • shaynepoole
    shaynepoole Posts: 493 Member
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    a lot of it is mental blocks :) you now are "too" skinny but it's all relative to where you started from :) family and friends are constantly asking me when I am stopping because I now look like a stiff wind will blow me away (I actually have started maintenance and I'm 5'5" and 160 - so by BMI, I would be on the low end of overweight category on the BMI scale). You could have heard the sighs of relief 1/2 way around the world I think

    but all of the people who make comments like that have known me at 340 lbs... yea, compared to that 340 lbs me, I am too skinny... way skinnier than I should be... for people who didn't know that person, it's no big deal. I'm sure there are coworkers probably thinking I am dying at this point because of the weight loss and just not telling anyone about it. All those people are just remembering older you and trying to reconcile both new and old you in their brains as the same person... When the newer version has been around a while, those comments will fade out as they get used to it...
  • GrandmaJackie
    GrandmaJackie Posts: 36,281 Member
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    People say to me ALL the time, I HOPE you don't loose ANY more weight! What's even more funny is when I eat something sweet at work, cupcake, candy a piece of cake, I CAN'T believe your eating that! Portion control, portion control, hellooo!
  • Boogage
    Boogage Posts: 739 Member
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    I used to get a lot of comments when I lost 30-40lbs. Now that I am a bit too light at 106lbs practically no one says anything. Theres only been one person (apart from my partner who is always saying I'm going to disappear lol) who has made a comment and asked if I was ill but they hadn't seen me for about a year so it was a bit of a shock for them. If you're healthy and happy take their comments with a pinch of salt and continue on your journey.
  • meganjcallaghan
    meganjcallaghan Posts: 949 Member
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    It's definitely coming from their own insecurities, whether they're big themselves or not. Bigger people sometimes need reasons/justifications to stay exactly the way they are, which is all on them. Some naturally thin people hate it when their fat friends become their hot friends!

    I'm still over 200lbs though, so no one's said it to me (yet) :D

    I'd take it as a compliment if I do get snarky comments - at least they have noticed, and my health is purely between myself and my Doctor.

    it's coming....just you wait. This lady isn't snarky though. She seems genuinely concerned. I'm just not sure why. lol.

    As for doctors, when I had my first meeting with the nephrologist in charge of me and my kidney donation, all he'd had to go on were the numbers of what my initial application had for my weight, what was sent in by my doctor a few months later and then what I told him I weigh now. He wanted to know how long I've sustained my current weight and I said ''I haven't because I'm still losing''.....he gave me a kind of sideways glance and asked ''uh.....how much more were you planning to lose??" A doctor asking that and in a ''you're kidding me'' tone of voice is about the only thing that's given me any pause, but considering my goal is only 8 pounds under where I am, I don't suppose it's a big deal.
  • meganjcallaghan
    meganjcallaghan Posts: 949 Member
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    Yes! I've lost 82 lbs and only want to lose 18 more. Currently my stats are 5'5 148 lbs, BMI is 24.7 and I'm size 6. I'm Skinny yes, but not anorexic skinny by any means! I too hear the "You're too skinny" or "Sickly looking" comments. One person even said they were going to "pray" for me because I looked so "unhealthily thin" and that I need "help".

    oh lawd....seriously....it's the churchies who are worst. I mean, nothing against church goers....i love them. i am one. but I swear they're planning an intervention. The pastors wife put her arm around me the other day and said to her husband ''Look at our Megan! she's getting so frail!" - I have a MINIMUM of 20 pounds on that woman.
  • meganjcallaghan
    meganjcallaghan Posts: 949 Member
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    People say to me ALL the time, I HOPE you don't loose ANY more weight! What's even more funny is when I eat something sweet at work, cupcake, candy a piece of cake, I CAN'T believe your eating that! Portion control, portion control, hellooo!

    Yes. ''you AREN"T losing any MORE are you??" - I've heard that since about 195 pounds. The lady I was referring to also said today ''you've lost SO much more weight than the last time I saw you". I said ''actually, I haven't really. Just a little". "No, I can see it. you've lost SO much more. you HAVE to stop"......"Actually, only about 3 pounds since you saw me last. Like I said, just a little. And certainly not enough to see a difference."

    Woman refuses to believe me.
  • JakeNJ95
    JakeNJ95 Posts: 54
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    I used to play football in high school and now that I don't I decided to lose weight, I am down to 180 and still have some weight left to lose, and my dad has said that I have been getting too skinny since I weighed 220 pounds. It is just funny, people do not like change on any level.

    and GrandmaJackie I hate it when I eat something that I worked into my days diary and people are like "aren't you dieting?"
  • rduhlir
    rduhlir Posts: 3,550 Member
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    My husband says this to me sometimes...but he is just used to seeing the bigger me. I look at him and say, 'Well...my doctor says I am prefectly fine and that it would be safe for me to lose a few more pounds. When he starts worrying then I will start worrying. Until then your support would be a lot more welcomed then your negativity."
  • airangel59
    airangel59 Posts: 1,887 Member
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    LOL, yep, I'm getting it and this former fattie is sorta secretly loving hearing it....I'm getting the 'gaunt face' thing. My profile pic is recent and yes my face (and the rest of me) is thinner now than it was, but gaunt? No....not think so, but compared to what it was before I'll take this "gauntness" over that any day. (My before pics should be visible as well)

    I also get the 'you'll blow away in a breeze' quips too. Well I was outside walking today and despite feeling the wind, I'm still here, have not blown away.

    And I get the ' you aren't still losing are you?' And this was from my Doctor too, and I was 140 last week at my appointment (I'm 5 ft 5.5") and well within the realm of that stupid BMI the profession seems to put a lot into as well. I am actually trying to maintain but still getting the hang of what I can now eat compared to be in 'losing mode' so I did drop .8 this week.

    Seems like you just can't please everyone. They tend to point out when you gain, what you are eating "should you be eating THAT" and now they saying "you're getting too skinny" LOL
  • meganjcallaghan
    meganjcallaghan Posts: 949 Member
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    I hate it when I eat something that I worked into my days diary and people are like "aren't you dieting?"

    haha...I have set the precedent from the get go that I will eat what I want, when I want and I will not feel even remotely bad about it even if that means gorging myself on 4 plates of food PLUS desserts at a potluck. Actually, the weeks I've done that are the ones I've lost MORE than I should have expected, so apparently my body is loving it. lol.
  • Sinisterly
    Sinisterly Posts: 10,913 Member
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    It's hard for some people to accept change.

    Do what makes YOU happy.
  • meganjcallaghan
    meganjcallaghan Posts: 949 Member
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    Seems like you just can't please everyone. They tend to point out when you gain, what you are eating "should you be eating THAT" and now they saying "you're getting too skinny" LOL

    haha, actually my roommate is the one getting most of the comments about me now (people coming up to her telling HER that SHE can't "let" me lose any more weight) and she's starting to get super irritated by it and is starting to respond with "REALLY? Everyone is ok with letting her be 310 pounds and never saying a word but NOW that she's actually within the healthy weight range you've decided her weight is your business? REALLY?". I wholeheartedly approve. lol
  • JenniCali1000
    JenniCali1000 Posts: 646 Member
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    Yeeeees. I can't stand it. Why should anyone feel it's acceptable to tell someone they're too thin, when it's not acceptable to tell someone they're too big?! Ridiculous.
  • rainydays5
    rainydays5 Posts: 217 Member
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    I have never heard these things but my husband has. He is 6 ft and 218 lbs. He lost about 36 lbs recently. He text me the other day and said some lady he works with told him if he lost any more weight he would look sickly. I told him to tell her that his wife didn't like her checking him out, LOL! His goal was to get below 200 and I definitely do not think he does or will look sickly.
  • funnybun1
    funnybun1 Posts: 62 Member
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    like what Shaynepoole said...that person who said that to you is obviously not comfortable seeing the kick butt changes you're making in yourself and they haven't become accustomed to the new shape you've taken on.

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