Nothing is working...

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greenmeena
greenmeena Posts: 118 Member
in Motivation and Support
I think this will be more of a poor me rant than anything else, but I have no where else to rant this out.

Where to start?

I'm 38, female, 5'4" and 150 lbs- still. I am accustomed to being around 130. I've gone up and down in weight over my life, but any time I ever wanted to lose weight before I'd just cut out sugar and crap, eat really well and exercise. I've gone between 130 and 145 a few times. I've never stayed this high and I'm stumped.

A few years back, I went through a rough break up and grieved hard for a long time. During that time I didn't eat as much as I should have and ran 5 miles 5 times a week. I'd do a little bit of weights on machines, nothing serious. I was in fabulous shape, thin but still sort of soft. I didn't mind, I thought I looked pretty good. When I started feeling better emotionally, I realized I was under eating and started to normalize myself. Even though I wasn't eating a ton of crap- I naturally like fresh veggies, organic food, grass fed meat and all that- I started creeping up in weight until I got to 145. I don't look horrible, but the clothes don't fit and I hate the extra weight.

I joined MFP and learned a lot of amazing things, like metabolic damage, how to reset, calculate your TDEE and so forth; I started to lift heavy as that seemed to give the most amazing results to a lot of the MFP women out there. I was totally motivated and hopeful. I did start looking more defined, was eating even better- and went up to 150. Yes, I know the scale is only a number but I was fatter and could no longer fit into the clothes I had bought for the bigger me. :(

At some point in there, I became exhausted and weak and had trouble meeting weight lifting goals; then trouble even going where I'd been in terms of weight lifted- totally backsliding. It was confusing and strange. I went to the Drs, both western and naturopathic, and was told after a bunch of tests that I had adrenal fatigue. I was advised to quit the weights, to sleep, take supportive herbs and decrease stress.

I've done all of this. I hike as much as I can, eat very very well- following Whole 30, Gabriel Method, and am currently on a spring cleanse (Clean Gut by Junger). No matter what I've done- either following a totally "clean" diet like Whole 30 or eating whatever (and I'm never totally unhealthy, as I have gluten issues and avoid grain for the most part); obsessing about calories or just letting it go; exercise, no exercise; I am stuck here, at 150 lbs, and not budging one single bit. You'd think that eating clean I'd drop a few pounds, right? Nope.

I am at a total loss. I am very busy with work right now so I can't obsessively run and exercise like I instinctively want to (which may have led to some of the unhealthy fatigue in the first place) but SERIOUSLY????? Not even a little bit? Not even 5 lbs, eating totally clean, eating enough?

I don't get it. I don't know what to do. I gave up tracking calories as it made no difference at all. I've been 150 for over a year now, the first time I haven't been able to budge it and I am frustrated as hell.

I know you're going to have lots of questions for me, like what I'm actually eating, what my calorie count actually is, but I can tell you that I have stayed at 150 with fewer, and more, calories; with more, and less, exercise. HOW DO I JUMPSTART THE GODDAMN PROCESS????

I seriously can't take it any more. I have read, and read, and read- I meditate, I am cleansing, I take my vitamins like a good girl, I am managing my stress, getting outside, getting sleep, eating more spinach than a person has a right to… how can I jump start my metabolism and go back to frickin' normal? I just want to be normal again!

thanks for listening. It's been a rough year.

Replies

  • Linnaea27
    Linnaea27 Posts: 639 Member
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    Oh dear, I saw this post on my thingummy/wall/whatever, and wondered how you were doing. I'm really sorry to hear that things are not working and you've had such a rough time recently. I'm afraid I don't know what could be going on with you (though have you had your thyroid tested?) but I wanted to say I'm here, I read what you wrote, and I hope something changes for the better soon!
  • greenmeena
    greenmeena Posts: 118 Member
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    Thanks for "listening". I really want something to just jump start the loss so I can be "normal" again. I'm going to stick with what I'm doing and hope it pans out: eating clean, meditating, hiking when I can and relaxing as much as possible since my job is so stressful.
  • _HeartsOnFire_
    _HeartsOnFire_ Posts: 5,304 Member
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    If you aren't losing weight you aren't in a deficit.

    You said yourself you can't tell any of us...
    I know you're going to have lots of questions for me, like what I'm actually eating, what my calorie count actually is, but I can tell you that I have stayed at 150 with fewer, and more, calories; with more, and less, exercise.

    Figure out what your BMR & TDEE are. Eat at TDEE-10-15%
    Get a food scale.
    Weigh everything you put in your mouth.
    I know you said you are busy, we all are, On Sundays I try to make time to prepare meals for the week.
    Log everything, be consistent.
  • elisa123gal
    elisa123gal Posts: 4,287 Member
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    We all understand your frustration. So, you're not alone. I suggest you relax and stop obsessing over this. It is sort of like the law of attraction the more you fret over not wanting something to happen..the more it will.

    Do what the above poster suggested and keep your diary open and as you go along let the successful people on the forum look at your diet. Many complain of not losing but eat processed food..don't drink their water and swear they are just stuck and it is something a veteran can detect easily.
  • chelseasans
    chelseasans Posts: 73 Member
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    From a medical standpoint, I would get checked for a hypothyroidism or PCOS. Both of these disorders cause symptoms similiar to what you mention.

    From a personal standpoint, I am very sorry for what you are going through. It is extremely frustrating. My recomendation would be stress reduction. I also have a very hard time keeping weight down but i realize that it is IMPOSSIBLE the more stressed I am. So if your constantly thinking about weight loss and what you put into your body at every meal, your not truely enjoying it. This will cause mental and, in turn, physical stress.

    I suggest taking up YOGA! It saved my life really. At first it seemed kind of bogus and now i cant go a day without stretching. I understand that your lifestyle does not permit a heavy exercise regime. Try to incorporate extra movements into your work day (stretching every hour, using the stairs, fidgeting, walk around as much as possible). Sometime when im stuck sitting at work I even find ways to work my abs by sitting up tall and clenching my abdominals over and over again. It helps.

    DO NOT feel like a lost cause. Find other things in life that make you happy instead of weight and youll eventually see the number go down.

    Feel free to ask me any questions! :drinker:
  • walk757
    walk757 Posts: 96 Member
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    Agree about the thyroid testing. Include TSH, free T3, Free T4 for sure. Remember optimal, do not settle for normal. READ everything you can about your thyroid so you can see if that is your problem. Good luck!
  • izu87
    izu87 Posts: 267 Member
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    Your diary is locked so we can't really tell whether you're eating properly...

    Do you measure everything with a scale to get proper results?

    I'd recommend you the group 'Eat, Train, Progress' - they've got some great topics + there is a questionnaire that you can fill up and their pros will give you some great advice.
  • Xingy01
    Xingy01 Posts: 83 Member
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    I've found that for some people, the bmr/tdee calculators can be off by a LOT. I use one that lets me put in my body fat percentage and takes that into account. It spits out a number that is 1000 fewer calories than other calculators. I think the other calculators tend to be off by a lot for people who have high body fat percentages.

    http://www.fat2fittools.com/tools/bmr/

    Try that and put in your body fat percentage. See if you get a bmr/tdee that is lower than the other estimations that don't take it into account. That's what worked for me when I wasn't losing weight at my supposed tdee from a different calculator.
  • zoeysasha37
    zoeysasha37 Posts: 7,089 Member
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    I'm sorry your going through a tough patch. I know its frustrating. But don't give up. Go get a food scale and weigh and measure everything you eat. Log it all accurately, then you'll truly know if your eating at a deficit or not. Then you can make adjustments from there. If that doesn't work, then make a doctor appt.
  • greenmeena
    greenmeena Posts: 118 Member
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    I've wondered if sometimes the calculators were off. I was measuring and logging everything, for months. I was eating at TDEE with a 15% deficit. I never budged. So I experimented to see what would happen if I ate naturally (I don't eat processed crap), and just ate when I was hungry until I was full. No shift. I then tried eating less. Lol! Nothing!

    After I wrote this original post however I am starting to feel that I'm changing with the Clean Gut program. It happened somewhat suddenly days 10-12 of the cleanse. I have chronic IBS and all of a sudden my belly was flat. I haven't had anything but a bloat belly for years, which skews my perception as to whether I am losing weight, regardless of the scale.

    I stopped logging calories because I was making myself nuts and over obsessing. I am really trying to say that the weight didn't change with higher calorie intake, or lower. It does make me think that a metabolic issue is at hand. I have low-normal thyroid values; the western medical world says that means nothing's wrong, but the naturopathic doc begs to differ. I am working on keeping stress down for sure.

    Thank you all for listening. I think I needed a rant, that's all. I'm pretty well educated and trying to listen to my body, give it what it needs. The clean gut program seems to be helping. It's an awful lot of supplements, but I'm feeling better so I'll stick with it for the full 21 and see what I weigh at the very end (perhaps I should not have snuck a peek at the scale in the middle, eh?)
  • wonderwoman234
    wonderwoman234 Posts: 551 Member
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    If you are estimating a lot of stuff, which it sounds like you are, then you really don't know how much you are eating.

    Measuring and weighing your food is helpful, as long as you have a healthy mind set. I focus on getting ENOUGH of the right foods so my focus is NOT on deprivation.

    I would forget about the cleanses or other extreme stuff. Eating at a deficit makes you lose weight. Adding in exercise allows you to eat a bit more while losing weight and it's also healthy for you.

    It is unlikely that you have damaged your metabolism based on what you have said.

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