Struggling to accept

It is hard to recognize a body that looks different. And I so understand what you mean by wearing new clothes and feeling 'tarty'. I especially feel that way as I'm older and want to both look good and also look age appropriate. (I'm a professor and so am surrounded by young people all the time, so I can't look like a fuddy duddy and don't want to look like them.)

I had the same experience. I lost 38 pounds - but I'm pretty tall and that was 20% of my original body. Suddenly I looked in the mirror and was confused because I saw someone I hadn't seen there for 30 years. I liked it, but it muddled me. It still does sometime, much as I enjoy it.

First - NO ONE NOTICED THAT TUMMY EXCEPT YOU.

Second, it will probably go away - especially as you exercise. Your muscles and skin will tight up around that empty space that used to be fat. In addition to weight lifting, which people will recommend, I have three simpler exercises. First, situps really work. Second, an exercise my mom taught me was just lying on my back and pushing my stomach muscles out as far as I could and holding and then in and holding. You can put books on your stomach when you do it. I find it works wonders. Third, I sit on an exercise ball chair at work and it has taken several inches off my waist and my hips since I've been using it last year. I look much better than I did last year, even though I haven't lost any weight or done rigorous exercise.

Third, I altered my favorite tops so they would look good but be familiar and just bought some pants that fit. You can alter pants by taking in an inch or two AT THE SEAT. Sew the seam and then finish and clip it. You can alter loose tank tops by slimming the side seams or adding darts at the back that give some shape.

Another strategy I use is to take my favorite blouses - now too big - and wear them over tank tops or camisoles (there are ones with shelf bras and also ones with shoulders wide enough to hold a bra. It both shows off your new slim body and is modest and familiar.

You sound depressed. Enjoy your success. And think if there are other issues that are bothering you as well. Is this deeper than just the weight loss?

I'm not at my goal yet, but I've went from 202 to 135. So I know exactly what you mean with this post. I actually do the same thing. I am so happy to be able to squeeze into a size 4 now, but then I get self conscious to actually wear the small jeans outside. my family and I went to a spa with pools, hot tub, sauna in September. When I went into the changing room and put on my suit, I thought I should have just worn my old bathing suit and I was very self conscious. When I walked out to the pool, my family all made remarks, they said they had no idea how small I was cuz I was always covered up with baggy sweat pants and hooded shirts. They just didn't understand what I was feeling. So yes, its very hard to adjust to our new bodies and hopefully the confidence will soon follow along :-)

You'll get used to it. I don't like revealing clothes in public and only "tart up" (cute lol) when I'm on a date with my DH. I like the suggestion of wearing your old button down shirts open over tank tops . I do that too. Baggy clothes are more compfy but it's good to wear fitted clothing that look flattering.

Recognising that you don't have to wear tight clothes just because you're smaller is a good first step. Nor do your clothes need to be baggy. I would go for styles of shirts that have a flattering neckline and are loose around the middle...if you look at fashion magazines, that's how a lot of celebrities dress when you see them out shopping etc.

Be happy for what you've achieved. I think it all starts with loving and accepting yourself.

I think I can relate to you on some levels.
When I lost my 88ish lbs, I still saw fat Kim in the mirror, it took a long time for me to believe I really had a new body. But in time I came around and I don't really feel this way anymore. I can promise you no one noticed your tummy, but if you would feel better I honestly believe lifting weights does help.

My story Is a little different. I lost the weight, but since I had twins 8 years ago my stomach was just shot. Although I knew I looked SO much better and I knew I was smaller (since 18 to 6/8) I couldn't live with the fact I worked my *kitten* off and still had to tuck my gut into my pants. I ended up having a tummy tuck in December, it really changed my perspective. But again my story is different. I didn't have a small role, I had 4lbs of skin just hanging around.

Just because I lost all the weight, didn't mean I was going to be a different person, with hugely different styles... I remember thinking, even if I had the perfect body I would still NEVER wear a bikini, and I won't. It's not me. Dresses aren't really me either. Sure my style has changed some, because I am not buying things to hide me, but now buying things that compliment my better body shape... but in a comfort zone for me.

I think you will get there. Embrace your new body, find new clothes that compliment your style and your body.

You deserve it.

I highly HIGHLY recommend a shopping trip to Goodwill or Savers. You can get TONS of great stuff for practically nothing and it will really help you get through the struggle. At least a little. Don't let this phase sabotage your success. These current funky feelings would just be replaced with those other funky feelings.

Next suggestion, stop focusing on the physical part of it and focus on the health part of it. You have given yourself a very very valuable gift here and it's not about appearance.

I get that feeling. I've lost 28lbs, never been fitter/stronger, never felt less sexy or appealing in my life - maybe that's being 46 though lol because I haven't been THAT before either!

I'm 18mths into maintenance and still don't like me! Actually, worse, I'm ambivalent.

I feel a bit like this too, and I've still got 30 lbs to go. I've gone from size 16/18 to 10/12 and it's tough to reconcile that I look different but feel exactly the same on the inside. It doesn't help that the only decent mirror I have access to is at the office, and I find myself staring at the person I see reflected. It's me, but it isn't.

For clothes I've started layering more. I still wear quite a lot of the baggy tops, but put a tank or camisole underneath. The layering is helping me comes to terms with the new me, keeps it decent and means I haven't had to buy a whole load of new clothes yet, apart from a couple of pairs of pants.

I have lost 78 pounds, and all of my clothes started falling off. I had to buy new ones and they fell off too. Normally, I do not see myself as the much smaller person than I was. I feel kind of in awe and a little strange wearing non-plus sized clothing. I went to a store the other day, and all the women there helped me find something that looked appropriate and nice on me. I felt really weird about my stomach area. I took pictures of me in the outfit, and I could barely see it. Now if I want a better idea of my appearance, I take pictures!