Giving up too soon
Hanfordrose
Posts: 688 Member
A 19 year old friend on MFP posted today that she was ready to give up. She tired of counting calories and went so far as to say, "Recently I'm just thinking I'm gonna die in like 70 years time and who the hell cares about eating healthy all the time, I don't need to be the thinnest girl on the beach and I don't wanna waste my life eating 1200 calories every day...duh. Already squandered five years of my nineteen alive. Also I haven't weighed myself in like almost a month, and I need some curly fries."
I responded to her post, but I believe that my response may be needed today for someone else who is thinking about giving up. Here is my advice to the teenage who doesn't realize what she is giving up.
"I am 69 years old and have lived most of my life on the other side of the 'curly fries'.
I spent my 20's in low 200's. I starved for one year in my mid-30's just to get to 170 pounds and immediately went back to eating like it didn't matter. So, I got up into the 240+ range and just kept growing, until I was in the 280's after age 50. I finally got up to 290 pounds and spent years in a wheelchair, because my knees could not bare my weight any longer.
Sure...It doesn't matter, if you want to eat without concern for calories. You could be just like me in fewer years than you could imagine. Along with the food will come a horrible price. In your 20's, you may give going to the beach, because you won't want to let anyone see how fat you look in a swim suit. You will probably start making jokes about yourself and your weight to cover up the pain. You will begin to see yourself as "fat, ugly and unworthy of love". You will not care, if a man disrespect you, because you will have lost respect for yourself.
That's how I wound up with an abusive husband that I didn't love. I thought, "Nobody wants me...fat Sue, so I might just as well marry him, a man I don't even love." 22 years later, I was divorced, alone and fatter than ever.
Today, I weigh less than I did at age 19, because I lost more than 110 pounds in past 14 months. My health (not just my appearance and self esteem) was destroyed by carrying more 250+ for most of my life, because food was all I had to make me happy.
You have to make your own choice right now. Do you really want to give up your life to food, before you have even had a chance to live it? That is just a few words of experience from someone who has lived a life squandered on 'thoughtless eating'...letting food be more important than life and real happiness.
It is worth it. My health was destroyed by carrying more than 250+ for most of my life, because food was all I had to make me happy. You have to make your own choice. Do you really want to give up your life to food, before you have even had a chance to live it?
That is just a few words of experience from someone who has lived a life squandered on 'thoughtless eating'...letting food be more important than life and real happiness. Stay strong, little sister. It is worth it." :flowerforyou:
I responded to her post, but I believe that my response may be needed today for someone else who is thinking about giving up. Here is my advice to the teenage who doesn't realize what she is giving up.
"I am 69 years old and have lived most of my life on the other side of the 'curly fries'.
I spent my 20's in low 200's. I starved for one year in my mid-30's just to get to 170 pounds and immediately went back to eating like it didn't matter. So, I got up into the 240+ range and just kept growing, until I was in the 280's after age 50. I finally got up to 290 pounds and spent years in a wheelchair, because my knees could not bare my weight any longer.
Sure...It doesn't matter, if you want to eat without concern for calories. You could be just like me in fewer years than you could imagine. Along with the food will come a horrible price. In your 20's, you may give going to the beach, because you won't want to let anyone see how fat you look in a swim suit. You will probably start making jokes about yourself and your weight to cover up the pain. You will begin to see yourself as "fat, ugly and unworthy of love". You will not care, if a man disrespect you, because you will have lost respect for yourself.
That's how I wound up with an abusive husband that I didn't love. I thought, "Nobody wants me...fat Sue, so I might just as well marry him, a man I don't even love." 22 years later, I was divorced, alone and fatter than ever.
Today, I weigh less than I did at age 19, because I lost more than 110 pounds in past 14 months. My health (not just my appearance and self esteem) was destroyed by carrying more 250+ for most of my life, because food was all I had to make me happy.
You have to make your own choice right now. Do you really want to give up your life to food, before you have even had a chance to live it? That is just a few words of experience from someone who has lived a life squandered on 'thoughtless eating'...letting food be more important than life and real happiness.
It is worth it. My health was destroyed by carrying more than 250+ for most of my life, because food was all I had to make me happy. You have to make your own choice. Do you really want to give up your life to food, before you have even had a chance to live it?
That is just a few words of experience from someone who has lived a life squandered on 'thoughtless eating'...letting food be more important than life and real happiness. Stay strong, little sister. It is worth it." :flowerforyou:
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Replies
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What an amazing post, full of love and support. I pray that many young people will read this and take heart, and save themselves a lifetime of pain and misery.0
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Beautifully said.0
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Well said. I hope it gets through to those who are thinking of giving up. It's a journey, but it is worth it.0
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Thank you for this. Really. Thank you.0
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This word of advise could apply to so many people. I hope they realize before it's too late!0
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I will bump one more time before bed.0
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amen0
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Well said. Health and fitness are so worth the effort.0
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This is SO important for everyone to read! So beautifully written too. I have thought about giving up, and I've only been committed to this for 4 months. Shameful, I know. But I look at all of you who are succeeding on a daily basis, and I prefer to thrive like you guys...
Thank you for this.0 -
Having spent the last couple weeks asking myself if it's worth it, I needed to read this tonight. I just keep watching the same couple pounds show up and disappear, and don't see any progress, and it's discouraging. I'm 45 years old; so not too far behind you, and I don't have as much weight to lose (50 or so more pounds), but still an appreciable amount. I've worked my buns off (literally and figuratively) to get as far as I have, but it's so hard to keep plugging away when I feel like I've hit a wall.
All that being said, your post reminds me that it's worth it to keep going and pushing past this barrier, because I want to see my son get married and I want to be around for future (far future, I hope) grandkids. I want to be able to go on adventures with my hubby without being held back by my weight, and I want to keep feeling better about myself and seeing the changes in myself.
Thank you, thank you, thank you, kind and courageous lady, for reminding me why I'm doing this and why I shouldn't even consider giving up until I reach and can maintain my goal. You can rest assured that you've had a very positive effect on a stranger's life today.0 -
Thank you for sharing and your message has been received!0
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What a touching story! If only we were as smart in our twenties as we are in our 60's.
Thanks for sharing.0 -
luv it !0
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I would like to second our OP's sentiments. Don't give up on being healthy. I'm in my 60's too, battled with health issues all my adult life. I've come back from joint pain, breathing impairment and more. I needed walking sticks just to get about. I was unable to enjoy the simple pleasures of life.
I would like to add, learn more about our foods, how it works within our bodies. Healthy is not all about NO. Learn all you can, keep up with the true science and discard anything which is now discredited, all science builds on the last, takes it forward by proving and disproving.
Be realistic about your health, body shape and what you expect to achieve and carry all you have learned with you. Take nothing for granted and LIVE WELL.
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So well said, Hanfordrose :flowerforyou:
So many of my friends now in their 70s are battling with hip and knee problems! My wake-up call came when an accidental slip out walking meant a broken leg and left me needing 6 strong men to carry me to the ambulance 1/2 mile away, and then could not get around on crutches because of my weight. I had dieted before, usually for health reasons... planning our 4th child, and knowing pregnancy would be difficult at the weight I was, varicose veins ops, DS#2 & #3 weddings, but always put the weight on again! Incidentally, many people don't realise that it is more difficult to conceive if you are overweight AND that the pregnancy if you do conceive can be more risky.
You and you alone are responsible for looking after your body to give you a healthy, long life and you need to change your behaviours to healthier ones, so that you are not starting / stopping dieting for the rest of your life, but replacing bad habits with good ones, enjoying fruit and vegetables, taking sugary foods (my undoing) in moderation, and making exercise become part of your life. I am in this for the long haul.
I have said I want to be able to dance at our eldest GD's wedding, and she was 14 yesterday - at 73, I have to survive as a fit and healthy granny for at least another 7 years, maybe more. And I WILL DO IT, God willing!!0 -
Thank you for sharing and your message has been received!
+1! :flowerforyou:0 -
Thank you so much for sharing your story, it is what I needed to hear today! I have lost 43 pounds but am stuck and unable to loose any more no matter how hard I try. I have stopped logging daily like I used to and was thinking about stopping the counting. Your story has re-emphasised to me the importance of sticking with it long term. I would love a friend like you, feel free to friend me. Thank you again for sharing, I needed to hear this today! Blessings!0
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You are amazing! Thank you for this0
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:drinker:0
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Sue you always have the most important things to say . If we don't care enough about ourselves no one else will.0
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Well put! I think you said it all for how many of us have felt inside. I truly pray that some of the young ones get a hold of this Sue. Thanks for a great post on a sensitive subject that needs to be out there. Life is to precious to waste like we did. But thank God even though we're late in life we woke up and are now living! You have a way of telling it like it is!0
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Great post as always Sue! Thanks for the inspiration!
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Nicely stated and thank you for sharing. I know we have all been where she is right now mentally but its about staying in the race. I hope your words offered her the encouragement she needed to keep going on this journey. I remind myself that I didn't eat it on over night nor will it come off over night.0
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Love Love Love this and really needed to read this today! I am 45 myself...and have struggled with weight issues my entire life. I'm now about 25 lbs. from goal and have back slid a little bit---seemed to have lost my mojo and had a weekend of mindless eating while camping which followed a few weeks of eating whatever whenever. I KNOW I need to get back at it today--life is too precious to allow our weight and health to interrupt. This post is perfect timing for me! Thank you!0
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Bumping for you. You always write from the heart, and express the thoughts that I am sure many of us think just not quite so eloquently. Thank you for sharing your experience with us.0
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Thank you so very much for this post today. I have been struggling the past year not really caring what happened. I lost 40+ pounds only to gain them back. I came here this morning hoping to renew my efforts and saw your post. Needless to say it has inspired me to start anew and to not give up. It really is never to late to invest in yourself.0
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The most beautiful words come from the heart... Sue, you shared your heart and that is the best gift you can give any person... :flowerforyou:0
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Inspiring words Handfordrose - thank you for sharing with others for motivation, I had all but given up after a year of hard work, but am ready to continue the journey. Your message has given me, and I am guessing others, the boost to keep moving forward.
:flowerforyou:0 -
That was amazing, and so inspring! Thank you for that. I wish it could be required reading for everyone struggling both ways. The goal is just to be healthy and happy.0
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great post. Love words of wisdom like this. Thanks for sharing!0
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