I need help please...as much help as I can get!

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I have two nightmares right now...one is my weight, the other one is how I fell. I feel miserable...unhappy with the way I look. I am so off right now..it's not even funny.

I gained 60 lbs over the last 4 years ..and I just let it happen. All of a sudden the weight just jumped on me..slowly but steady. I didn't understand...my eating habits didn't change, so what was going on. It's called Menopause H*E*L*L. My system changed, my body changed...I was just beside myself.

Then I decided to give up smoking. I smoked for 15 years and decided that's enough. I quit 6 months ago. This is something only an ex-smoker will understand. You quit smoking and you live in the refrigerator, or at least close by! I read up on it and it's normal, but just really bad if you are already overweight. They say "don't worry about it" you can take care of the weight later. Well I gained 28 lbs when I quit smoking. My metabolism was dead and let's not talk about a non existing bowel movements (they joke that it comes back after 2 months and it wasn't a joke).

I don't have eating spells anymore, I don't need candy anymore to overcome cigarette craving. So I am a fat nonsmoker now and I HATE IT.

As of tomorrow I am going on a very strict diet for 2 weeks. Why, because I need a success really fast, I know myself. 5 lbs off my weight would motivate me for months.

I am looking for people who want to be my friend. I need a daily kick in my behind and a reminder that I can do it. I am hoping I won't have to be alone on my journey.

I feel like a Helium balloon.....fat, unattractive and can hardly breath when I try to run (no running for a while). We have a big dog...my exercise will be walking...I will start slowly, but will walk everyday..first like a snail...then power walking.

Anybody with me! Anybody willing to help me!

Sorry for the novel!
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Replies

  • BrittDoesIt
    BrittDoesIt Posts: 54 Member
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    I quit smoking 2 months ago and have gained atleast ten lbs in those 2 months! Feel free to friend me!
  • Becre8tive
    Becre8tive Posts: 108 Member
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    Oh thank you...I will...I was so busy on the non smoking board...I didn't even think to look for a fitness board...well until now!

    I will be happy to add you!
  • 2BFitNFirm
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    OMG, in process of quitting smoking and I've got the gut to show it! Had a little setback this week but I am back on track. Just turned 50 and not liking what I see or should I say hang! Let's go girls- your on!
  • 2essie
    2essie Posts: 2,866 Member
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    Your story sounds so much like mine.

    Up until 2005 I was on my feet from 5.30 in the morning until 7.30 in the evening. I smoked, worked and my mum was very ill so I had to see to her. On top of that I had two dogs to walk. Weight wasn't really a problem. Then, three things happened. My mum died (she was 90 years old so not a great shock), I gave up smoking and I damaged the tendons in my shoulders so due to the nature of my job, I had to give up work. I was determined not to start smoking again and like you, I lived in the refridgerator. Not running round at work any more I was not using the calories I had been previously but I was eating more. Well, you can guess what happened. At 5ft tall I was just under 200lbs. I refused to make the 200lbs mark and luckily I found MFP. I was also going through the menopause.

    So, you can see our stories are very similar. I also have a big dog and a medium dog to walk so that started me walking properly. Since joining MFP 18 months or so ago I have lost almost 50lbs.

    If you are serious about losing the weight and wanting someone to encourage and even criticise from time to time I would love to have you as a friend. I also would like you to do the same for me. I will send you a friend request.
  • Joeys440
    Joeys440 Posts: 3
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    Hi,

    Congratulations! for quitting smoking, the long term benefits are numerous. I too joined this site because my weight has ballooned. I blame mine on lack of motivation for weight control the last couple of years while I was obtaining my degree is Respiratory Therapy.

    One suggestion I would like to make is to take that walk everyday. I started out thinking I would die after a mile but quickly worked my way up to 4 miles and I love it. I live in SoCal so the weather is conducive to year round walks.

    I personally don't like the term "diets", they never work, it has to be a conscious effort to replace the food you are eating now with healthier choices, Please google the "dash diet", it is excellent!

    I will hit my goal because I do have the motivation, you can too, after the first 10 or 20 pounds comes off you will feel so much better about yourself.

    One thing I think about is, anytime you go to the grocery store, read the labels, if you don't understand every word in the ingredients, put the item down................That's right! you have already figured out your new meal plans are going to consist of fruits and vegetables, it's rather simple in that respect.

    Feel free to contact me anytime if there is anything I can do for you! we will go through this drama together along with a ton of other people on this site.

    Have a sparkling Day!
    Joey
  • cassie4animals
    cassie4animals Posts: 23 Member
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    I put on a lot of weight when I quit smoking too - about 30 lbs. It just piled on and then there I was! You'll get through it. You're in the right place asking for support, so you'll make it. :flowerforyou:
  • rayofsunshine2368
    rayofsunshine2368 Posts: 108 Member
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    Hi I would love to be your friend and maybe I can help on certain things that I have experienced. we all need positive motivation for sure. Not to mention I quit smoking 10 years ago I smoked for 25 years. I gained and love food I have 35lbs to loose to get back to my good weight. I also work as a bus driver so that really doesnt burn a lot of calories so I ate and just got fat yes I hated myself for getting so out of shape. so I did something about it.. I hit the gym and have been active for a few years now. its called trial and error. you cant just work out and not change your eating habits so I found a new way of eating. its not dieting because dieting never works you always gain back twice as much as you loose. Think of it has a life change. Start out by counting your calories the higher number on your calorie counter is your maintanance calories. you need to focus on your low calories for 6 days then on the 7th have as your eat up day and go back to your maintanace calorie only for a day to reset your hormone "leptin" that burns your fat. trust me it works. I have lost 4 lbs this past week and just starting back on the wagon myself. found a site that made sense and it really works its called the venus Index. If you need help or motivation on excercise I am good with that. will check back daily. Hope to hear from you and good luck

    Make a life change not diet change.
  • Becre8tive
    Becre8tive Posts: 108 Member
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    Thank you all!
  • kids183
    kids183 Posts: 204 Member
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    Hey there!

    I totally know how you feel. I quit smoking just over two years ago. I had quit off and on many times before...but over two years ago...I stuck with it.

    I came on MFP with 60+ pounds to lose. After 4 kids...and desk job...stress...and quitting smoking... I've been back on MFP since January and I've lost 30 pounds. I went with a low carb (Atkins type) diet. It has really worked very well for me. A lot of people have a lot of criticism to say about it, however. But I have had very much luck with it.

    What works for one may not work for you. I keep my calories around 1200 a day and my carbs anywhere between 20 - 50g a day. The first week or so was the toughest, but I've gotten so used to it now.

    I wish you very much luck in your journey. Feel free to add me as a friend. I am on daily. I log everything and I am very supportive!

    :smile:
  • lucymillerdowning
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    I've been smoke free for nine months now. I just had my second baby in two years and my body is a hot mess. I get what you are going through and would love to be your friend. I get the depression bit. I really do. Some days it is just unbearable. Hang in there.
  • carlmj
    carlmj Posts: 3
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    My goal is 67 pounds. Add me as a friend, and let's overcome where we have let ourselves go.
  • ConnieLynnBennett
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    The hardest part is the 1st step and well you are there ;} I totally relate with what is going on with you and how you feel, am there doing that..all except the quit smoking part that will have to wait a bit, although I did quit once before for over 7 yrs so understand your pain there as well. I am relatively new here as well but found if I do input my information daily it really keeps me aware of what I am putting into my body...so stay strong use the tools and reach out, Good luck ;}
  • jlmdc29
    jlmdc29 Posts: 26 Member
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    I wasn't able to quit smoking cold turkey (tried last year and yeah, cold turkey wasn't going to work). So instead I have been steadily, but kind of slowly, cutting back. This has worked for the most part but recently life has thrown some serious curveballs and am struggling a bit to keep at it. I've managed to stay on course with MPF but mainly because I try to keep the chocolate out of the house. I would like having some friends who are maybe trying to do both (or have already done so)....
  • WVmom24
    WVmom24 Posts: 266 Member
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    Feel free to add me, girl! Most of us on here have felt the same disappointment in ourselves and our weight at some point and we understand. Congratulations on quitting smoking and deciding to start eating and living healthier! <3
  • Becre8tive
    Becre8tive Posts: 108 Member
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    Thank you everybody! I got friends over night and I am thrilled!

    Although, I am not the only ex-smoker here.

    This is going to be fun! I just quit smoking, I have superpowers (in my little mind)
  • jenwest1jw
    jenwest1jw Posts: 1 Member
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    Hi! I totally understand how you feel. I have not hit menopause yet, but after I had my kids I just could not get the weight off! I have been at the same weight since December and working my butt off! It is so frustrating. I need to lose 50-60 lbs! I too am an ex-smoker. I quit 1 month before I found out I was pregnant with my first child. That worked out perfect, but I understand the cravings and needing that oral fixation to calm the nerves. It's been over 5 years since I smoked. OMG then the constipation from having kids & no smoking to give me that extra boost was killer. But I take a probiotic everyday & I am regular and go everyday now. I got the probiotic from Walgreens, Walgreens brand. They are great!

    The fist thing you need to do is stop beating yourself up. Talking negatively about yourself will not make you feel better, only worse. When I feel bad about myself, I get a sense of hopelessness and that is not how I want to feel anymore. Second, exercise realy helps get the endorphines going and that helps prevent depression and will make you feel good about yourself. It is a daily accomplishment that is mandatory for health and emotion. I also try to eat lots of fruits and veggies, that helps keep my sugar cravings away.

    Let me know if you have any questions. I need help too because over the weekends I tend to screw up and overeat when I got out to eat or to parties. But I always make sure I get back on the wagon the next day or two. lol
  • danidaggers13
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    I can't say that I understand how it feels to quit smoking. But I do understand how hard it is to make positive lifestyle changes. If you want motivation or just a chat then feel free to add me :)
  • MarieB1980
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    Good luck on your journey, although I am not an ex-smoker I can't really help on that score, but the health benefits are huge! I do have a target weight loss similar to yours, so good luck and we'll hopefully crack that 60+ barrier in no time..
  • josparkle
    josparkle Posts: 141 Member
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    I completely understand the menopause thing, and the creeping up of weight, and it getting harder to lose - that's me. I've had success in the past but I get complacent or life gets in the way and then I realise my great eating has gone out of the window and I'm back to where I started...or worse.

    Giving up smoking is a great achievement - I never started to didn't have that hurdle to cross but I watched my OH do it and I know it takes great commitment all day and every day. So that's a huge positive for you.

    Now let's all crack this losing weight thing. I have set my ticker for my first goal which is the last weight where I felt acceptable (not good or healthy - just acceptable), and then WHEN I achieve that I will re-evaluate how much more to lose/tone up etc. which I'm guessing will be another 21-28lbs. Please add me as I'm on daily on and off throughout the day.
  • runjill
    runjill Posts: 14 Member
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    Hi My name is Jill and I need to get refocused as well so add me as a friend and maybe we can both get each other going. I have come and gone on this site and just need to stick to it. I did a fad diet last summer and lost 25 pounds and felt great. since then I went back to eating normal food again and not exercising and 20 of the pounds are back. I am 47 and in the menopause state but don't want that to define my fitness. I think if we check in with each other daily and say what we ate and what we did for exercise that would be great. I find myself getting bummed because I once was able to run a marathon and now I can't do 1 mile without stopping to take a walk break. Then I remember back years ago when I first started running and biking. I was feeling down because I hadn't reached certain so called mile stones (in my mind). A friend of mine said I shouldn't be bummed out, but instead realize that I am doing more than I did the day or week before. Today is a new day friend! Lets get going! Even though the weather is cold and crappy here today. LOL Please add me as a friend