Motivation for the New Year. Please help.

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Today marks the first day of the year. I put up new goals and really want to lose weight. I have been on this site now for 112 days and I am down a single pound all in all. I have struggled with the same 5 pounds over and over. I want to break through my unwillingness. I have been logging really well, but not changing much. Now that the holidays are over, there will be less potlucks and food based get togethers, but that is not really my problem anyway. I have impulse issues. I binge and I overeat by grabbing a few handfuls here, taking bites I wasn't planning on taking there.

I understand from finding this program and using it more faithfully than any other diet I have ever been on that there is no medical problem. I am about 85 pounds overweight because I have eaten almost 300,000 extra calories and have failed to burn them off. I have also yo yoed a lot. for the last full year I have not gained or lost. This is actually a good thing for me. I am appreciative that I am in some sort of maintainence kick, but I want so deperately to lose weight. My behavior has to change. To lose all the weight I have gained, I have to create a 300,000 calorie defiecit. This has not yet happened.

A week ago, my boyfriend proposed. I am moving. I just graduated college. I have a lot of good in my life. I want to give time to allowing my body to heal and become healthy. I have time right now to go to the gym. I have time to make home cooked meals and to buy fresh fruits and vegetables and to log it all. If I start now and lose 10 pounds a month, I will be at goal by October. It makes me happy to think about this, but my head is telling me that this will never happen, that I am a failure, that I will never end my self destructive relationship with food. I know that this is false because a lot of other overweight and out of control people on here have gotten it together after a longer struggle than me with a longer road ahead of them and lost the weight and have kept it off.

If you are one of those people, where did you find motivation? Did you struggle in the begining (or do you struggle now)? What did you do to stay on track during the times that you wanted to overeat?

Replies

  • Holton
    Holton Posts: 1,018
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    For me I had become totally disgusted with myself and about to move into a larger size and I was not willing to continue on that path. I used my bathroom mirror to post a picture of my mother (who is obese and what I want to avoid) and to make a chart where I would write in my weight every week when I weighed. IT was in front of me every morning when I woke up and every night when I went to bed. I did have several times I plateaued and I just tired of the whole counting calories as a way of life, and what kept me going during those times were the encouragers here on MFP who had been through it themselves. I do believe your goal of 10 pounds a month may be a little unrealistic, as 2 pounds a week is more reasonable and even as you progress, 1 pound a week becomes more likely. Just don't want you to disappoint yourself by setting your goals too high. Slower weight loss is more healthy and typically more long lasting. I would think having your wedding in front of you would be very motivating so would suggest you use some photo regarding that to keep you focused on a daily basis. And always remember, that if you fail at one meal (and you will), it is okay and you just start over immediately. You don't have to scrap your whole effort nor do you have to wait to the first of the month or the first day of the week to begin again! Good luck to you on this journey!
  • suckitup
    suckitup Posts: 95 Member
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    Congratulations, first, on all of the wonderful new events in your life. I LOVE that you recognize that you do have time to hit the gym and plan some meals instead of grabbing what you happen to be running past. (been there)

    All I can say is...USE THIS TIME BEFORE IT IS GONE! Most people (including myself) have a TON of excuses on why they can't excercise or make proper food choices. I was queen of this for years. Mom of two, teacher, don't cook, picky eaters, soccer practices, blah, blah, blah. It is so easy to put others before yourself because you feel selfish if you don't.

    Last year (today) I took the gift cards my husband got me and went to the mall to buy new clothes. None of my pants fit anymore and I looked (and felt) like a slob at work. After I had to buy sizes I NEVER thought my behind would see, I returned a nice gift that I did not need for a Wii. Selfish...sure...needed...absolutely! My resolution was (pardon my french) "Screw everyone", I need to focus on ME! I felt like I would be a horrible wife, teacher, and mom, but I hit an all time low buying a whole "fat wordrobe". I did drop an avg. of 10lbs per month with the Wii Fit and walks around the neighborhood. I still didn't really cook, but knew how to work the ol' George Foreman and would make a chicken breast with salsa or Minute rice cups.

    The biggest weight change came when I joined MFP and was accountable for what I ate. I HAD to find snacks that I could still compulsively eat without doing too much damage. My friends know that I have gotten pretty good at this. Feel free to friend me. I have been in "maintainence" for months and slacked off on logging my days. Now I have 5lbs to get back off by getting real again.

    Good luck to you...you CAN do this...and you have the time to commit to it. I can promise you that your window of opportunity won't last forever. :smile:
  • workoutqueen628
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    You are in a good place right now because a) you are conscious of your habits and want to change and b) you have the tools to succeed you just need to implement them. This is a whole lot farther than most! I think you should just take it one day at a day and set different goals to accomplish each day. I like to think of it as the 3 E's: eating, exercise, and enjoyment goals. Eating and exercise goals are pretty obvious, but enjoyment is how you're going to reward yourself for all your hard work (think new clothes, manicure, massage, things that don't involve food). Don't think of all the weight you have to lose because then you will get overwhelmed, just take it one pound at a time. Also, you mentioned bingeing- this is not something that cannot be fixed over night, but will take a lot of diligence to overcome. Busy yourself with other activities and drink lots of water so you aren't just 'eating to be eating.' Don't be too hard on yourself if you have good days and then you eat bad other days. It happens to everyone. Just learn from your mistakes and move forward. That's all you can do...Best of luck to you!
  • suckitup
    suckitup Posts: 95 Member
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    For me I had become totally disgusted with myself and about to move into a larger size and I was not willing to continue on that path. I used my bathroom mirror to post a picture of my mother (who is obese and what I want to avoid) and to make a chart where I would write in my weight every week when I weighed. IT was in front of me every morning when I woke up and every night when I went to bed. I did have several times I plateaued and I just tired of the whole counting calories as a way of life, and what kept me going during those times were the encouragers here on MFP who had been through it themselves. I do believe your goal of 10 pounds a month may be a little unrealistic, as 2 pounds a week is more reasonable and even as you progress, 1 pound a week becomes more likely. Just don't want you to disappoint yourself by setting your goals too high. Slower weight loss is more healthy and typically more long lasting. I would think having your wedding in front of you would be very motivating so would suggest you use some photo regarding that to keep you focused on a daily basis. And always remember, that if you fail at one meal (and you will), it is okay and you just start over immediately. You don't have to scrap your whole effort nor do you have to wait to the first of the month or the first day of the week to begin again! Good luck to you on this journey!

    I love the idea of posting pictures and graphing it in your room! There are days where I don't have time to get on the computer at all, but a reminding picture might keep me on track! I have my school id badge for this year with last years pic behind it. That helps my choices a little more at work. **they are night and day** :happy:
  • mem50
    mem50 Posts: 1,384 Member
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    I struggled in the beginning. Then it got easier, then it got harder, then I was at my goal of 145. Got married, found out I was hypoglycemic...dietitian put me on wrong diet to control it and put on 20 pounds before I knew what hit me. Then was put on new medication for another problem and gained another 20 in a month. Steroidal effect on "some" people doctor told me after the fact. Then out of pure depression gained another 15 from binge eating. It's even harder now for me to lose because of above listed problems but slow and steady it is coming back off.

    For motivation I have all my dear friends here at MFP and a closet full of clothes that are starting to fit again. Too keep myself on track when I want to overeat? That's still a work in progress :smile: I keep a lot of healthy stuff in the house. I make a list every week for grocery's after I have planned out the menus. I eat before the store so am not tempted to impulse shop.
  • razzmahtazz
    razzmahtazz Posts: 78 Member
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    I can totally relate to your post. I was overweight as a child and have never been a super active person. In my early 20's, I was my thinnest & that is all due to exercise. I would do the Leslie Sansone DVD's 4-5 days a week and that maintained my weight. Did I like to exercise? No. Do I like to exercise now? No, but I honestly believe that is the only healthy answer to weight loss and maintaining weight loss. Of course you still have to eat healthy, but if you regularly exercise, you can occasionally splurge.

    Good luck! I'm with you!
  • Kandy3
    Kandy3 Posts: 24 Member
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    I think the most important message within your message is 'self destructive'. I understand and empathise with you because I recognise it in my own life. Why we do it though, I still don't really understand. I guess the most important thing is too think that we are worth it and to try to believe that.
    You sound like you have a bright and exciting future and there is no reason why you can't reach your goal.
    Good luck!:flowerforyou: