Hate me today, hate me tomorrow

openskybeach · April 2014

Hi ~

What changes are you motivated and excited about?

^^ Like he is trying to do here, let's focus on the positive changes. I can certainly empathize. I'm not so sure about taking medications, I really think sometimes we need to know that we are good, and have encouraging people say encouraging words to us, and think those good words about ourselves as well. I'm definitely in the same boat at times, but I am trying to get ashore. You can too. (BTW nice song, though sad, to grab my attention \m/

jennifer52484 · April 2014

I am motivated and excited for these changes but I ultimately know that I am my own worst enemy. I battle with confidence and doubt my ability to do anything of value or anything good. How can I get past that and move forward? Most days I can't stand to look in the mirror and I absolutely hate myself. I do not want to feel this way. Has anyone else felt like this?

I feel you. I've struggled with body image issues my whole life. You physically and mentally have to get out of your own way. You said yourself you are motivated and excited. So strive off of that. Make that your main focus and go from there. Every day just ask yourself if you want to start over again. Hopefully your answer is NO. Keep working towards whatever your goal is and eventually you will find peace. I wish you the best.

redheaddee · April 2014

Bypassing the majority of the comments between the OP and here...

OP: I do believe to a certain extent, it is normal to look in the mirror and dislike what you see. I have struggled mightily with this myself. Someone above said self-awareness is a blessing and a curse, and I could not agree more.

That being said, we do have the ability to change our perceptions of ourselves. As Pavlov taught the dog to drool at the sound of the bell, with time and the right incentive, we can change our own behaviors and thought patterns. It takes time and persistence, but you can teach yourself to love yourself a bit more. This starts with reframing your thoughts: when you hear your negative Nancy speaking, tell her to shut the hell up. Tell yourself something good about you, something you are proud of, and over time, those good thoughts will start to creep in around the edges and the negative ones will become smaller and quieter. This is the basic premise of CBT, which another poster also mentioned and can be highly effective.

S/N: I have an actual M.S. in applied clinical psychology, so as far as being one of "the ranks of anonymous unlicensed cyber social workers diagnosing psychiatric disorders based on a few words typed on a screen", I have a little something that others don't have.

AtticWindow · April 2014

Bypassing the majority of the comments between the OP and here...

OP: I do believe to a certain extent, it is normal to look in the mirror and dislike what you see. I have struggled mightily with this myself. Someone above said self-awareness is a blessing and a curse, and I could not agree more.

That being said, we do have the ability to change our perceptions of ourselves. As Pavlov taught the dog to drool at the sound of the bell, with time and the right incentive, we can change our own behaviors and thought patterns. It takes time and persistence, but you can teach yourself to love yourself a bit more. This starts with reframing your thoughts: when you hear your negative Nancy speaking, tell her to shut the hell up. Tell yourself something good about you, something you are proud of, and over time, those good thoughts will start to creep in around the edges and the negative ones will become smaller and quieter. This is the basic premise of CBT, which another poster also mentioned and can be highly effective.

S/N: I have an actual M.S. in applied clinical psychology, so as far as being one of "the ranks of anonymous unlicensed cyber social workers diagnosing psychiatric disorders based on a few words typed on a screen", I have a little something that others don't have.

Always nice to get validation from "a real psychologist"; attitudes that suggest we're all self-diagnosed attention-seeking loonies really diminish the seriousness of dealing with these issues, as though those afflicted couldn't possibly know what we're talking about because we're on the receiving end of the medical advice and have no degrees to back it up - never mind that we're just repeating what we've heard and what's worked for us! So, thank you! :flowerforyou:

GC527 · May 2014

I just wanted to think everyone for your feedback. I have an actual diagnosis of depression and anxiety and am on medication to help with it. I also exercise to relieve anxiety and do yoga to help also. I know that I am a blessed woman and I am grateful everyday for the wonderful gifts God has allowed me to have such as my son, my husband, my friends and family, a comfortable home, an education, a good job, a brain that works and a body that moves. Anyone who has struggled with a mental health issue knows that sometimes all of those blessings can make you feel even worse, like you aren't worthy of those things or the loved ones in your life would be better if you were replaced by someone else. I have never loved myself and have always focused on loving others and making my life out of that; what I could do for everyone else. I realize that my weight issues are my fault. I didn't make time for myself to prepare proper nutrition or be certain that I got enough exercise. I think anyone who begins this journey of losing weight and building a better body has that moment of oh my goodness, how in the world did I let myself get here?! But then, that's what motivates us to change. I am excited about healthy and fresh foods that I prepare for myself and my family. I am excited about running, lifting weights and watching my body change. I know the changes will not occur overnight, but I know that if I stick to it- eventually I will get there.

Thanks again you all! :flowerforyou:

zoeysasha37 · May 2014

Hi !
I'm glad you checked back in, as I kept checking the thread to see if you'd replied OP. Again, I'm sorry your feeling this way and wish I could help, but I really don't know enough to give you any useful advise. But still just wanted to make sure you where okay! :-)

GC527 · May 2014

I just wanted to think everyone for your feedback. I have an actual diagnosis of depression and anxiety and am on medication to help with it. I also exercise to relieve anxiety and do yoga to help also. I know that I am a blessed woman and I am grateful everyday for the wonderful gifts God has allowed me to have such as my son, my husband, my friends and family, a comfortable home, an education, a good job, a brain that works and a body that moves. Anyone who has struggled with a mental health issue knows that sometimes all of those blessings can make you feel even worse, like you aren't worthy of those things or the loved ones in your life would be better if you were replaced by someone else. I have never loved myself and have always focused on loving others and making my life out of that; what I could do for everyone else. I realize that my weight issues are my fault. I didn't make time for myself to prepare proper nutrition or be certain that I got enough exercise. I think anyone who begins this journey of losing weight and building a better body has that moment of oh my goodness, how in the world did I let myself get here?! But then, that's what motivates us to change. I am excited about healthy and fresh foods that I prepare for myself and my family. I am excited about running, lifting weights and watching my body change. I know the changes will not occur overnight, but I know that if I stick to it- eventually I will get there.

Thanks again you all! :flowerforyou:

thank not think*

Hate me today, hate me tomorrow

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