Hate me today, hate me tomorrow
GC527
Posts: 272 Member
I am motivated and excited for these changes but I ultimately know that I am my own worst enemy. I battle with confidence and doubt my ability to do anything of value or anything good. How can I get past that and move forward? Most days I can't stand to look in the mirror and I absolutely hate myself. I do not want to feel this way. Has anyone else felt like this?
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I am motivated and excited for these changes but I ultimately know that I am my own worst enemy. I battle with confidence and doubt my ability to do anything of value or anything good. How can I get past that and move forward? Most days I can't stand to look in the mirror and I absolutely hate myself. I do not want to feel this way. Has anyone else felt like this?
Every human alive has felt like that. Self-awareness is one of the biggest gifts and biggest curses.0 -
Have you sought medical attention for this? It sounds like depression.0
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Not really. It isn't normal to feel that way at all.I am motivated and excited for these changes but I ultimately know that I am my own worst enemy. I battle with confidence and doubt my ability to do anything of value or anything good. How can I get past that and move forward? Most days I can't stand to look in the mirror and I absolutely hate myself. I do not want to feel this way. Has anyone else felt like this?
Every human alive has felt like that. Self-awareness is one of the biggest gifts and biggest curses.
ETA: Many people DO feel that way. But as I said above, it's called depression. It isn't the way someone feels who isn't depressed.0 -
I do have anxiety and depression0
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I'm very sorry to hear that and I hope you're seeking help. Those things are treatable. You don't have to feel hopeless or hate yourself.I do have anxiety and depression
I guarantee you judge yourself far more harshly than anyone else judges you. You should love yourself!0 -
I struggle with this myself, on a daily basis.
The sense of being of no use, having no purpose, and generally, of being worthless.
Some years it has been better, but this year, it has been the worst ever for me thus far.0 -
Exercise,hydration, plenty of sleep and a normal food intake (not too high or crazy low) help tremendously with depression. They also help with any side-effects you may have from any medication you may be taking.
I'd get in the habit of checking the 'success stories" to elevate the chemicals that cause "well being" in the brain. Humorous youtube videos will do the same thing! Good luck!0 -
Hi ~
What changes are you motivated and excited about?0 -
I do have anxiety and depression
Both of those things are treatable, I hope that you're seeking help because it's vital to your health.0 -
Exercise,hydration, plenty of sleep and a normal food intake (not too high or crazy low) help tremendously with depression. They also help with any side-effects you may have from any medication you may be taking.
I'd get in the habit of checking the 'success stories" to elevate the chemicals that cause "well being" in the brain. Humorous youtube videos will do the same thing! Good luck!
This ^^0 -
I do have anxiety and depression
I don't know if you mentioned these two words as indication of a medical diagnosis or if by this you mean that you often feel blue and anxious.
But based on your profile and your photo I see you as a very pretty 25 year old woman who's married and has a son. By that alone you've hit the jackpot. Your green eyes are pleasantly wide set and striking. Your hair is thick, long and a pretty reddish color. You're not even obese. You're above average in the looks department overall.
Maybe you're anxious and depressed about other things but re-read my sentence above and count your blessings.
What?
This is the dumbest post I have ever read...0 -
I do have anxiety and depression
I don't know if you mentioned these two words as indication of a medical diagnosis or if by this you mean that you often feel blue and anxious.
But based on your profile and your photo I see you as a very pretty 25 year old woman who's married and has a son. By that alone you've hit the jackpot. Your green eyes are pleasantly wide set and striking. Your hair is thick, long and a pretty reddish color. You're not even obese. You're above average in the looks department overall.
Maybe you're anxious and depressed about other things but re-read my sentence above and count your blessings.
What?
This is the dumbest post I have ever read...
Right? As someone with an anxiety disorder, I'm pretty offended. Sorry, folks, but if we don't tell people with lupus to just count their blessings in order to feel better, I'm not sure why we tell people with mental illnesses to try the same techniques. But then, I'm smiling in my profile picture, so I'm obviously too blessed to have any sort of anxiety. :noway:0 -
I am motivated and excited for these changes but I ultimately know that I am my own worst enemy. I battle with confidence and doubt my ability to do anything of value or anything good. How can I get past that and move forward? Most days I can't stand to look in the mirror and I absolutely hate myself. I do not want to feel this way. Has anyone else felt like this?
With respect to the depression, I definitely recommend something like CBT, medication, and the natural remedies that others have suggested like exercise, sunlight, etc. Of your two mental obstacles, I personally think depression is the tougher one, since it's the lethargy and hopelessness that really make it a struggle to stick to day to day activities, let alone lifestyle changes like committing to fitness. Another thing to consider is rewarding yourself for tiny victories. Sometimes, it really is enough that you got out of bed and showered. You don't have to prove anything to anyone.
For the anxiety, over the past couple of years, I've actually found that giving into the anxiety helps. That sounds weird, so I hope I can explain it. I just acknowledge that I'm starting to be anxious, and that any feelings I'm having are due to that, and then I work on dealing with any symptoms. Basically, for me, there are two aspects of my anxiety that tend to feed into each other, the physical symptoms and the mental ones, and if I can at least keep them from feeding into each, then I have an easier time managing their general presence and any attacks. If I start to have physical anxiety symptoms like shakes or heart palpitations, I immediately focus on keeping my brain calm by doing soothing mental activities. (I really enjoy www.thisissand.com or www.weavesilk.com.) Likewise, if I start getting hypervigilant or mentally panicky over anything, I immediately focus my attention on keeping my body calm with deep breaths, a warm bath, a cup of tea, etc. You may have similar experiences where if, for example, your heart gets fluttery, you start to assume you must have 87 different ailments and are on the brink of death, and then your hands start shaking, and then you wonder if you also have Parkinson's or something, and then, and then, and then....so keeping these symptoms isolated from each other really helps me. I hope it can help you.
This doesn't really address how these illnesses relate to your diet and exercise, but I think that's less important than just managing them alone. The fitness stuff will (hopefully) fall into place as these other things settle down and as you're better and better equipped to manage them :flowerforyou:
***This is entirely based on my own experiences with anxiety, and, to a lesser extent, depression; I'm not assuming everyone deals with these disorders the same way I do, and I certainly don't consider myself an expert on managing them. Just my two cents!
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I do have anxiety and depression
I don't know if you mentioned these two words as indication of a medical diagnosis or if by this you mean that you often feel blue and anxious.
But based on your profile and your photo I see you as a very pretty 25 year old woman who's married and has a son. By that alone you've hit the jackpot. Your green eyes are pleasantly wide set and striking. Your hair is thick, long and a pretty reddish color. You're not even obese. You're above average in the looks department overall.
Maybe you're anxious and depressed about other things but re-read my sentence above and count your blessings.
What?
This is the dumbest post I have ever read...
I think the point being made was that sometimes when people say they are depressed / anxious this is not the result of an actual medical diagnosis but rather their own belief / self diagnosis. People may say "I am feeling depressed" when really it is low mood because the term depressed tends to be used quite loosely and inaccurately. I have heard it said by a poster on here that the way they cured their depression was by having a warm bath...
If it is low mood then this can be helped by "counting your blessings" (or a shift in perspective.) Actual depression and anxiety is a different matter.0 -
I do have anxiety and depression
I don't know if you mentioned these two words as indication of a medical diagnosis or if by this you mean that you often feel blue and anxious.
But based on your profile and your photo I see you as a very pretty 25 year old woman who's married and has a son. By that alone you've hit the jackpot. Your green eyes are pleasantly wide set and striking. Your hair is thick, long and a pretty reddish color. You're not even obese. You're above average in the looks department overall.
Maybe you're anxious and depressed about other things but re-read my sentence above and count your blessings.
you do realize anxiousness and depression have nothing to do with those things right?
You probably only made her feel worse- because I can't tell you how many times I stood there staring at myself telling myself all the good things that I had- and how grateful I was to have them and then be even more upset that I was depressed for no reason and depressed DESPITE all that stuff.
depression isn't something you can just shake off like a bad mood. I realize a lot of people will say "I'm depressed" when they really just mean they are gloomy - but for people who are truly depressed- telling them to shake it off will only make them feel even worse- it's like you KNOW you shouldn't feel that way- and there are people who are way worse off than you- so by default you should be happy- but that's not the way it works.
OP- I always had a list next to my door on a white board listing the things I had in my life that I was grateful for- supportive family- amazing generous friends- a truck a trailer and a horse- a motorcycle and a loving boyfriend, roof over my head- food to eat- and an almost steady job (lulz on that one)
It was good for me to walk out the door every day when I was leaving the house- and read those to myself and try to pick myself up.
The other thing is go DO something- stop spending time staring at yourself and telling yourself all those things you hate about yourself- it's a vicious cycle- in my dance class I have crippling issues that render me useless for learning- the voice in my head telling me I'll NEVER be able to do X, or Y. And at some point I just have to say Bi*tch... I'm learning- I have fabulous things I need to be doing- leave me alone.
And following up- get sunlight- or a SAD light.
Get plenty of exercise
seek professional help- no really. I put it off for years and I deeply regret doing so.0 -
Wow, I'm really sorry your feeling this way. I'm in no way qualified to even try to help you, but just wanted to chime in and say hello anyway. I hope your situation improves. I see lots of people have commented and are trying their best to help, just know that you can make it threw this! :-)0
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2 years into my journey and I still battle myself daily. Like you, I also suffer from anxiety and depression...at times. I have found that working out helps me to overcome these feelings quicker and have bouts/attacks less frequently.
You are worth the effort you invest in yourself.0 -
We all feel like this sometimes. You gotta learn how to see yourself in a different way. We are worth the time and effort to better ourselves.0
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I am motivated and excited for these changes but I ultimately know that I am my own worst enemy. I battle with confidence and doubt my ability to do anything of value or anything good. How can I get past that and move forward? Most days I can't stand to look in the mirror and I absolutely hate myself. I do not want to feel this way. Has anyone else felt like this?
I'd just like to reiterate that you don't have to feel this way! I hope you're seeking active treatment for your depression and anxiety. I'd be happy to talk to you via PM if you want to share your experience, as I've been in treatment since 2011 after battling both severe depression and anxiety since about 2003.
That said, I think anyone going through this sort of lifestyle change is going to have moments of insecurity and frustration, but what has helped me is consciously going through all of the things my body does for me that I'm thankful for. It's really amazing when you think about how, even if you're not the perfect weight or body fat %, your body is an INCREDIBLE machine. Thinking about that really gives me a new respect for my body and encourages me to take better care of it.
Good luck on your journey :flowerforyou:0 -
I don't suffer from depression or anxiety... I am actually a very happy and upbeat person... I love my life, my job and my family... but I don't like what I see in the mirror so I know how hard we can be on ourselves... here are a few things to build your confidence... pick out one or two attributes that you like about yourself and focus on that.. I love my hair.. it is curly and wild and long... I like the fact that I am honest with myself as well as others.. stop looking in the mirror.. at least to judge yourself... Tell yourself how amazing you are and think about some of those things that make you different... I started to volunteer to stop thinking about myself.. makes me put someone else a head of me... that way I feel better as a human in general.. I don't worry as much about my flaws... Hope some of these help...0
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Hi ~
What changes are you motivated and excited about?
^^ Like he is trying to do here, let's focus on the positive changes. I can certainly empathize. I'm not so sure about taking medications, I really think sometimes we need to know that we are good, and have encouraging people say encouraging words to us, and think those good words about ourselves as well. I'm definitely in the same boat at times, but I am trying to get ashore. You can too. (BTW nice song, though sad, to grab my attention \m/0 -
I am motivated and excited for these changes but I ultimately know that I am my own worst enemy. I battle with confidence and doubt my ability to do anything of value or anything good. How can I get past that and move forward? Most days I can't stand to look in the mirror and I absolutely hate myself. I do not want to feel this way. Has anyone else felt like this?
I feel you. I've struggled with body image issues my whole life. You physically and mentally have to get out of your own way. You said yourself you are motivated and excited. So strive off of that. Make that your main focus and go from there. Every day just ask yourself if you want to start over again. Hopefully your answer is NO. Keep working towards whatever your goal is and eventually you will find peace. I wish you the best. 0 -
Bypassing the majority of the comments between the OP and here...
OP: I do believe to a certain extent, it is normal to look in the mirror and dislike what you see. I have struggled mightily with this myself. Someone above said self-awareness is a blessing and a curse, and I could not agree more.
That being said, we do have the ability to change our perceptions of ourselves. As Pavlov taught the dog to drool at the sound of the bell, with time and the right incentive, we can change our own behaviors and thought patterns. It takes time and persistence, but you can teach yourself to love yourself a bit more. This starts with reframing your thoughts: when you hear your negative Nancy speaking, tell her to shut the hell up. Tell yourself something good about you, something you are proud of, and over time, those good thoughts will start to creep in around the edges and the negative ones will become smaller and quieter. This is the basic premise of CBT, which another poster also mentioned and can be highly effective.
S/N: I have an actual M.S. in applied clinical psychology, so as far as being one of "the ranks of anonymous unlicensed cyber social workers diagnosing psychiatric disorders based on a few words typed on a screen", I have a little something that others don't have.0 -
Bypassing the majority of the comments between the OP and here...
OP: I do believe to a certain extent, it is normal to look in the mirror and dislike what you see. I have struggled mightily with this myself. Someone above said self-awareness is a blessing and a curse, and I could not agree more.
That being said, we do have the ability to change our perceptions of ourselves. As Pavlov taught the dog to drool at the sound of the bell, with time and the right incentive, we can change our own behaviors and thought patterns. It takes time and persistence, but you can teach yourself to love yourself a bit more. This starts with reframing your thoughts: when you hear your negative Nancy speaking, tell her to shut the hell up. Tell yourself something good about you, something you are proud of, and over time, those good thoughts will start to creep in around the edges and the negative ones will become smaller and quieter. This is the basic premise of CBT, which another poster also mentioned and can be highly effective.
S/N: I have an actual M.S. in applied clinical psychology, so as far as being one of "the ranks of anonymous unlicensed cyber social workers diagnosing psychiatric disorders based on a few words typed on a screen", I have a little something that others don't have.
Always nice to get validation from "a real psychologist"; attitudes that suggest we're all self-diagnosed attention-seeking loonies really diminish the seriousness of dealing with these issues, as though those afflicted couldn't possibly know what we're talking about because we're on the receiving end of the medical advice and have no degrees to back it up - never mind that we're just repeating what we've heard and what's worked for us! So, thank you! :flowerforyou:0 -
I just wanted to think everyone for your feedback. I have an actual diagnosis of depression and anxiety and am on medication to help with it. I also exercise to relieve anxiety and do yoga to help also. I know that I am a blessed woman and I am grateful everyday for the wonderful gifts God has allowed me to have such as my son, my husband, my friends and family, a comfortable home, an education, a good job, a brain that works and a body that moves. Anyone who has struggled with a mental health issue knows that sometimes all of those blessings can make you feel even worse, like you aren't worthy of those things or the loved ones in your life would be better if you were replaced by someone else. I have never loved myself and have always focused on loving others and making my life out of that; what I could do for everyone else. I realize that my weight issues are my fault. I didn't make time for myself to prepare proper nutrition or be certain that I got enough exercise. I think anyone who begins this journey of losing weight and building a better body has that moment of oh my goodness, how in the world did I let myself get here?! But then, that's what motivates us to change. I am excited about healthy and fresh foods that I prepare for myself and my family. I am excited about running, lifting weights and watching my body change. I know the changes will not occur overnight, but I know that if I stick to it- eventually I will get there.
Thanks again you all! :flowerforyou:0 -
Hi !
I'm glad you checked back in, as I kept checking the thread to see if you'd replied OP. Again, I'm sorry your feeling this way and wish I could help, but I really don't know enough to give you any useful advise. But still just wanted to make sure you where okay! :-)0 -
I just wanted to think everyone for your feedback. I have an actual diagnosis of depression and anxiety and am on medication to help with it. I also exercise to relieve anxiety and do yoga to help also. I know that I am a blessed woman and I am grateful everyday for the wonderful gifts God has allowed me to have such as my son, my husband, my friends and family, a comfortable home, an education, a good job, a brain that works and a body that moves. Anyone who has struggled with a mental health issue knows that sometimes all of those blessings can make you feel even worse, like you aren't worthy of those things or the loved ones in your life would be better if you were replaced by someone else. I have never loved myself and have always focused on loving others and making my life out of that; what I could do for everyone else. I realize that my weight issues are my fault. I didn't make time for myself to prepare proper nutrition or be certain that I got enough exercise. I think anyone who begins this journey of losing weight and building a better body has that moment of oh my goodness, how in the world did I let myself get here?! But then, that's what motivates us to change. I am excited about healthy and fresh foods that I prepare for myself and my family. I am excited about running, lifting weights and watching my body change. I know the changes will not occur overnight, but I know that if I stick to it- eventually I will get there.
Thanks again you all! :flowerforyou:
thank not think*0
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