Finding motivation when you're sore and discouraged

ardorrequiem
ardorrequiem Posts: 70
in Health and Weight Loss
Yesterday I did a Jilian Michael's workout that I've done before (about a month ago) and it kicked my *kitten*. I barely finished it, I was shaking afterwards for a good 10-15 minutes, and I felt like a failure, even though I had accomplished something by most people's standards, it wasn't enough for me. My kettlebell is 20 pounds, which is heavy in my opinion, but I still don't feel like I did good.

Now, I'll never be the first person to tell you that a JM workout is easy (I was doing her kettle bell level 1 because it is free on youtube) but yesterday I guess I just felt like I should have done more/better or something. I am disappointed in all the things I can think of that my body can't currently do simply because I'm not fit enough. I don't often overestimate myself, but yesterday I did and I felt pathetic.

Even the muscle soreness I feel today, proof that at some point yesterday I was working something, doesn't console me. I feel like a failure. I've heard from people around me that I look great and that I've lost weight, but I don't feel it, I don't see it, and I don't feel inspired by myself. I just want to feel good and strong in my own skin, and I feel like I'm weaker than ever.

I know I'm being irrational, so I guess my question to the community is this: do you often feel like you're not able to meet your own expectations of ability? How do you deal with this? How do you keep going?

Replies

  • autumn_moon86
    autumn_moon86 Posts: 13
    The place I work out at has different classes. On Tuesdays I do boot camps. My first boot camp I did, I was pumped. I felt so good, like woah - I did some pretty amazing stuff! The next week I was amped to go and do it again. And it SUCKED. I felt like every exercise we were doing I couldn't do it right. My form was off, I was sucking wind, I had to lower my weights. I left feeling like it was a crap class. But then, amazingly, the next week, I did pretty okay.

    What I started telling myself is this: some weeks/days/work outs will be better than others. There are so many different reasons for that. I'm a bit more tired today, the workout routine is harder than normal, or focusing on an area I am weak at, I didn't eat enough, I ate too much, or I'm more mentally pumped to workout. But the main thing to focus on is this: you worked out. you accomplished something. you burned calories. You are THAT much closer to your goal. You could have done nothing, but you didn't. Not every workout is going to leave you feeling satisfied. But, push yourself to remember how awesome you are for doing SOMETHING and how next time has the possibility to be better. You're building muscle and the more you do, the more you'll be able to do in the future.

    I can now do exercises for the full 40 seconds of a circuit that I used to only be able to do 5 seconds of before needing to rest. It takes time to build yourself up to the level you want mentally right now!
  • dieter67
    dieter67 Posts: 57
    Would it help if I told you that today when I was going up the escalator at the mall some teenage boys hit the emergency stop and I could barely walk up the steps to the next floor. It was a wake up call because I am so out of shape. And here YOU did a JM workout. It's going take small steps for me to get back in shape but day by day I'll be able to do a little more. I've got a suspicion that you're not giving up either to gain endurance and form.
  • scraver2003
    scraver2003 Posts: 526 Member
    What I started telling myself is this: some weeks/days/work outs will be better than others. There are so many different reasons for that. I'm a bit more tired today, the workout routine is harder than normal, or focusing on an area I am weak at, I didn't eat enough, I ate too much, or I'm more mentally pumped to workout. But the main thing to focus on is this: you worked out. you accomplished something. you burned calories. You are THAT much closer to your goal. You could have done nothing, but you didn't. Not every workout is going to leave you feeling satisfied.

    Well said!!

    Some days are good workouts days and some are bad workout days. You have to push through the bad days, so that you are physically fit to really push it on the good days!!
  • ardorrequiem
    ardorrequiem Posts: 70
    Thank you all so much for your responses. Really. I think I'm just having one of those moments where my resolve is being tested. I once took a dance class with a girl that said she cried in her car after her first time because she felt so ungraceful and awkward, but she kept coming back to get better. I think this is one of those moments: give up, or give more.
  • RHachicho
    RHachicho Posts: 1,115 Member
    If you are failing at a workout you have done successfully before then either you have neglected to fuel your body enough. Or you are overtraining. I appreciate that you wanna push but if you push too hard your bodys just gonna wave its white flag.
  • PRMinx
    PRMinx Posts: 4,585 Member
    Depending on how many reps you are doing, 20# kettle bell is nothing to sniff at. Adding that to the fact that you haven't done this in a month and I'm not surprised you are sore.

    If you want to stay motivated, take your time and work up to a weight that your body is ready for....
  • ardorrequiem
    ardorrequiem Posts: 70
    I said I haven't done THIS workout in a month, not that I haven't been working out at all. Maybe I was unclear:

    1) the 20 pound KB is the weight I've been using for a few months to do my swings with. I'm in no way unfamiliar with it.
    2) I train 2-3 times a week with weight. I do calesthetics (body weight) regularly and I longboard a few times a week. I am far from an inactive couch potato.

    I had a crap workout because I had a crap workout. Apparently that can happen from time to time, I was just feeling particularly down on myself about it and honestly just looking to get some support/suggestions for how to deal with discouragement.

    As far as my workout goes, all other factors seemed to be in line prior (enough sleep, water, warm up, stretch) so I think this was a one-off, and I'm not going to

    Thank you for commenting, but perhaps it is better to ask me versus making an assumption before you tell me I'm overtraining/unprepared?
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,985 Member
    Regardless of the person, I'm sure everyone feels they can do more/better then the actual effort they put in. If one is competitive, we always try to hold ourselves to a higher standard than what we're currently accomplishing.


    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • PRMinx
    PRMinx Posts: 4,585 Member
    I said I haven't done THIS workout in a month, not that I haven't been working out at all. Maybe I was unclear:

    1) the 20 pound KB is the weight I've been using for a few months to do my swings with. I'm in no way unfamiliar with it.
    2) I train 2-3 times a week with weight. I do calesthetics (body weight) regularly and I longboard a few times a week. I am far from an inactive couch potato.

    I had a crap workout because I had a crap workout. Apparently that can happen from time to time, I was just feeling particularly down on myself about it and honestly just looking to get some support/suggestions for how to deal with discouragement.

    As far as my workout goes, all other factors seemed to be in line prior (enough sleep, water, warm up, stretch) so I think this was a one-off, and I'm not going to

    Thank you for commenting, but perhaps it is better to ask me versus making an assumption before you tell me I'm overtraining/unprepared?

    WOW.

    Deep breathes, ok. I wasn't coming at you like that at all.

    Perhaps you shouldn't post questions in the forums if you can't handle a legitimate response.
  • daniel_parrett
    daniel_parrett Posts: 30 Member
    think of it this way:

    every day you meet your calorie goal is a victory.

    every workout in addition to that is icing on the cake.

    If you are sore, that is a good thing. doesnt matter how much work you did to get there (as long as you didnt pull something).

    the soreness goes away, and you can feel the change.

    I started doing pushups and squats- as many as i could before passing out (i weight like 360, this is no easy feat).

    after about a week of that, I flexed for my wife and she could feel the change in my biceps. since then, i joined a gym and walk almost every day and some various other machine workouts, but i can feel the difference.

    i would encourage you ot look up "fitness motivation" videos on youtube. most of them are for/from body builders, which is not my goal, but seeing the effort they put into it, and the concept of going until your muscles fail makes me feel accomplished when i do the same. even if it is a fraction of the weight they do.

    keep with it, but dont freak out if it doesnt go as you plan. use your disappointment to go harder next time and really push yourself!
  • ardorrequiem
    ardorrequiem Posts: 70
    I said I haven't done THIS workout in a month, not that I haven't been working out at all. Maybe I was unclear:

    1) the 20 pound KB is the weight I've been using for a few months to do my swings with. I'm in no way unfamiliar with it.
    2) I train 2-3 times a week with weight. I do calesthetics (body weight) regularly and I longboard a few times a week. I am far from an inactive couch potato.

    I had a crap workout because I had a crap workout. Apparently that can happen from time to time, I was just feeling particularly down on myself about it and honestly just looking to get some support/suggestions for how to deal with discouragement.

    As far as my workout goes, all other factors seemed to be in line prior (enough sleep, water, warm up, stretch) so I think this was a one-off, and I'm not going to

    Thank you for commenting, but perhaps it is better to ask me versus making an assumption before you tell me I'm overtraining/unprepared?

    WOW.

    Deep breathes, ok. I wasn't coming at you like that at all.

    Perhaps you shouldn't post questions in the forums if you can't handle a legitimate response.

    I didn't say you were?

    I was clarifying. I'm normally that direct when I write. I don't think it is at all rude to tell you that you were answering my question based on assumptions and misinformation. Again, I suggest you ask more questions. I'm sorry you felt that by suggesting you do so I was attacking you in some way, because I wasn't.

    Also, my reply was addressing two comments, not just the one you made. Thank you for your advice.
  • ardorrequiem
    ardorrequiem Posts: 70
    Thank you Daniel! Have you been on tumblr as well? lots of fitspos and real people posting their successes and what not. I find it helps sometimes, but other times I get stuck in the "thinspo" mind and end up feeling less awesome than even when I started. Great resources, both, if you're careful to look at the right things.
  • starsandowls
    starsandowls Posts: 55 Member
    I find that some days are just better than others for what I'll call with a wink "sports performance." Not getting enough sleep, being close to needing a meal, being at different parts of my cycle, being stressed about something totally unrelated, having had a big or acidic meal beforehand, all of these things and more affect my workouts in terms of what I do and how I feel about it. What has helped for me was paying attention to all of these things, but even then, there are days I'm just dragging. I do what I planned to do and forget about it. It's not worth agonizing over one workout when there are so many in life.
  • PRMinx
    PRMinx Posts: 4,585 Member
    I said I haven't done THIS workout in a month, not that I haven't been working out at all. Maybe I was unclear:

    1) the 20 pound KB is the weight I've been using for a few months to do my swings with. I'm in no way unfamiliar with it.
    2) I train 2-3 times a week with weight. I do calesthetics (body weight) regularly and I longboard a few times a week. I am far from an inactive couch potato.

    I had a crap workout because I had a crap workout. Apparently that can happen from time to time, I was just feeling particularly down on myself about it and honestly just looking to get some support/suggestions for how to deal with discouragement.

    As far as my workout goes, all other factors seemed to be in line prior (enough sleep, water, warm up, stretch) so I think this was a one-off, and I'm not going to

    Thank you for commenting, but perhaps it is better to ask me versus making an assumption before you tell me I'm overtraining/unprepared?

    WOW.

    Deep breathes, ok. I wasn't coming at you like that at all.

    Perhaps you shouldn't post questions in the forums if you can't handle a legitimate response.

    I didn't say you were?

    I was clarifying. I'm normally that direct when I write. I don't think it is at all rude to tell you that you were answering my question based on assumptions and misinformation. Again, I suggest you ask more questions. I'm sorry you felt that by suggesting you do so I was attacking you in some way, because I wasn't.

    Also, my reply was addressing two comments, not just the one you made. Thank you for your advice.

    With all due respect, it's the responsibility of the OP to give all the information. We see this unfold in the food and nutrition message boards all the time, especially when people blindly advocate a special diet, without letting everyone know they have a medical reason. It inevitably turns into a sh&t show.

    I see you've only posted 30 times. This might be helpful to you in the future.
  • ardorrequiem
    ardorrequiem Posts: 70
    I said I haven't done THIS workout in a month, not that I haven't been working out at all. Maybe I was unclear:

    1) the 20 pound KB is the weight I've been using for a few months to do my swings with. I'm in no way unfamiliar with it.
    2) I train 2-3 times a week with weight. I do calesthetics (body weight) regularly and I longboard a few times a week. I am far from an inactive couch potato.

    I had a crap workout because I had a crap workout. Apparently that can happen from time to time, I was just feeling particularly down on myself about it and honestly just looking to get some support/suggestions for how to deal with discouragement.

    As far as my workout goes, all other factors seemed to be in line prior (enough sleep, water, warm up, stretch) so I think this was a one-off, and I'm not going to

    Thank you for commenting, but perhaps it is better to ask me versus making an assumption before you tell me I'm overtraining/unprepared?

    WOW.

    Deep breathes, ok. I wasn't coming at you like that at all.

    Perhaps you shouldn't post questions in the forums if you can't handle a legitimate response.

    I didn't say you were?

    I was clarifying. I'm normally that direct when I write. I don't think it is at all rude to tell you that you were answering my question based on assumptions and misinformation. Again, I suggest you ask more questions. I'm sorry you felt that by suggesting you do so I was attacking you in some way, because I wasn't.

    Also, my reply was addressing two comments, not just the one you made. Thank you for your advice.

    With all due respect, it's the responsibility of the OP to give all the information. We see this unfold in the food and nutrition message boards all the time, especially when people blindly advocate a special diet, without letting everyone know they have a medical reason. It inevitably turns into a sh&t show.

    I see you've only posted 30 times. This might be helpful to you in the future.

    Thank you for the information, but this isn't that, and sometimes it is appropriate to ask questions, especially if you're telling someone they're doing it wrong. Bottom line: if you're unsure, ask. It is totally unreasonable to expect that every post every time will contain all of the information available or required.
  • PRMinx
    PRMinx Posts: 4,585 Member
    I said I haven't done THIS workout in a month, not that I haven't been working out at all. Maybe I was unclear:

    1) the 20 pound KB is the weight I've been using for a few months to do my swings with. I'm in no way unfamiliar with it.
    2) I train 2-3 times a week with weight. I do calesthetics (body weight) regularly and I longboard a few times a week. I am far from an inactive couch potato.

    I had a crap workout because I had a crap workout. Apparently that can happen from time to time, I was just feeling particularly down on myself about it and honestly just looking to get some support/suggestions for how to deal with discouragement.

    As far as my workout goes, all other factors seemed to be in line prior (enough sleep, water, warm up, stretch) so I think this was a one-off, and I'm not going to

    Thank you for commenting, but perhaps it is better to ask me versus making an assumption before you tell me I'm overtraining/unprepared?

    WOW.

    Deep breathes, ok. I wasn't coming at you like that at all.

    Perhaps you shouldn't post questions in the forums if you can't handle a legitimate response.

    I didn't say you were?

    I was clarifying. I'm normally that direct when I write. I don't think it is at all rude to tell you that you were answering my question based on assumptions and misinformation. Again, I suggest you ask more questions. I'm sorry you felt that by suggesting you do so I was attacking you in some way, because I wasn't.

    Also, my reply was addressing two comments, not just the one you made. Thank you for your advice.

    With all due respect, it's the responsibility of the OP to give all the information. We see this unfold in the food and nutrition message boards all the time, especially when people blindly advocate a special diet, without letting everyone know they have a medical reason. It inevitably turns into a sh&t show.

    I see you've only posted 30 times. This might be helpful to you in the future.

    Thank you for the information, but this isn't that, and sometimes it is appropriate to ask questions, especially if you're telling someone they're doing it wrong. Bottom line: if you're unsure, ask. It is totally unreasonable to expect that every post every time will contain all of the information available or required.

    First, I never said you were doing it wrong. We all take breaks in our exercise routine that require us to work back up to certain weights from time to time. It's completely normal.

    Second, based on the information that YOU provided about YOUR workout in YOUR post, I wasn't unsure about anything.

    Third, I responded with appropriate advice based on the information that YOU gave in YOUR post. You decided to get all butt hurt about it.

    Fourth, LOL that you think people in this forum are always going to ask questions. If you got tweaked about my response which came from good intention, you better buckle up if you are going to play in the forums.
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
    :huh:


    I think there are better ways to deal with soreness and feeling discouraged than taking it out of somebody trying to help you, Op.
  • ardorrequiem
    ardorrequiem Posts: 70
    :huh:


    I think there are better ways to deal with soreness and feeling discouraged than taking it out of somebody trying to help you, Op.

    Well not that they were being very helpful, but whatevs. I "ignored user" and am going to focus on the comments that were positive and actually trying to help.

    thanks for your op!
  • norcalskater
    norcalskater Posts: 194 Member
    Whenever I feel like that I watch this video of CT Fletcher:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=189ORL6cIBs

    (Don't watch if profanity offends you though...)

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