been going waaaay over daily cals for days

I FEEL LIKE I'M GOING NOWHERE AND ALL MY EFFORTS ARE WASTED

i feel upset, depressed, guilt, sad, mad and i hate myself right now! during my first weeks of insanity i was doing great. working out every day, eating healthy and staying under or right on my daily cals limit but like on my 3rd or 4th week, I just spiraled out of control. it started on my birthday. i treated it as a cheat day so i ate what i wanted and didn't worry about calories. ever since, i have been going over my limit/bingeing every other day. it's like the usual cycle that people say when you binge. you binge- feel guilty- restrict- binge again and the cycle goes on and on and on and I've tried not to be too restrictive after a binge and ate food that i needed but I still binge the next day! specially because my family and relatives keep on bringing home food that i like and i don't know why, but i can't control myself. when I see it, I wanna eat it and I feel like i HAVE to eat it. I've never had problems before even when my favorite food is in the house but I don't know what happened to my self control!! there are even times where i feel full but i still feel like eating or i still think that i need to eat or at least put something in my mouth.

yesterday, there was a party in our house and we hired a catering company to serve food. the food was good! but i limited what i put on my plate. i stopped for a while and talked to peple then an hour later, i went to the buffet table again and ate rice, chicken and beef then I got a slice of pizza whenever i pass through the pizza box when i had nothing to do which summed up to 4 slices of pizza. i felt reaaaaally full and drank so much water so i could stop eating but when i saw one of my favorite food, i wanted to eat it so bad so I did -__- and I ate too much! when I drank a little bit of water, my stomach felt like it was gonna burst. it just hurt so bad! it even looked like I was 3-4 months pregnant -__- it really hurt and I felt like puking but nothing came out so I forced myself to vomit by....... sticking my fingers down my throat and I felt better as i got rid of some of the contents in my stomach and it didn't feel like i was gonna burst. a few minutes after that they opened a cake and I ate like, half a slice. -_-

I feel like a pig and i feel like all my efforts on working out is going no where. i've seen improvements before but they all went away. i don't know what to do :( i don't wanna give up just yet.

Replies

  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,373 Member
    My last month has been a disaster - hunger, cravings... ugh.

    Take it one day at a time... don't give up. Just start over today. Keep yourself busy to keep your mind off food.
  • kateangel2312
    kateangel2312 Posts: 242 Member
    Ive been the same eating around 2500 a day when my target is 1800, sometimes i just fall off the wagon for a while then become motivated again
  • sunseeker100
    sunseeker100 Posts: 90 Member
    I don't have an easy answer for you but I wanted you know that you're not alone. I've been bingeing for a month and have put on 16 lb after doing 3 months of Atkins and dropping the same 16 lb. it's almost like reading my own story (except for the insanity - props to you for doing it!) as I've often stood in front of kitchen cupboards stuffing my mouth with chocolate after just moaning about being fat and over eating. I've even tried not having trigger foods in the house but the other night I convinced my partner that I needed a cookie and that one cookie wouldn't hurt, was in my calories etc etc, then she went out in the car to get a cookie...which I then covered in ice cream and whipped cream (that I'd also asked her to buy me).

    All I can say to advise you is that in my experience this phase will pass and your head will just get back into it. After 4 years of yo-yo dieting I've learnt that for months at a time I can be so on plan, totally believe what I'm doing, love my diet plan etc etc, but then out of nowhere comes doubt, cravings, bingeing, depression, clothes are tight again :( It's so hard when you're in that place but please just believe in yourself and put it down to a certain point in time that will pass. keep wanting it, no matter what happens each day just start a new day and please please don't make yourself sick. I've considered that over the last few weeks but have managed not to go that far as I think it could be a slippery slope to an ED. I'm sending you hugs and have sent you a friend request.

    I'm a member of a few groups about this sort of eating so check out the group pages and join a few, it's good just to know that it isn't only you who is going through this :flowerforyou:
  • SavinnaMarie
    SavinnaMarie Posts: 108 Member
    I'm sending you hugs and have sent you a friend request.

    I'm a member of a few groups about this sort of eating so check out the group pages and join a few, it's good just to know that it isn't only you who is going through this :flowerforyou:
    thank you! :blushing: lol i accepted the request. looking forward to helping and motivating each other! :smile:

    and thanks to the others who answered.

    I am gonna visit the nearest gym tomorrow so I could get a membership and spend most of my free time there..... lol this is what i get for eating so much :grumble: plus i wouldn't have to buy a heavier set of dumbbells anymore cause i could use the ones in the free weights area! :bigsmile:
  • SavinnaMarie
    SavinnaMarie Posts: 108 Member
    i miss those days when my problem was i had to eat more at the end of the day cause i was always below my limit.. :cry:
  • drmcglone
    drmcglone Posts: 80 Member
    I need to figure this out myself!!!
  • StaciMarie1974
    StaciMarie1974 Posts: 4,138 Member
    I log in MFP every day - even when I eat higher calorie counts. Putting it in here helps keep me accountable. And it helps me get back on track after an off-day.

    Today is a new day. Log everything, pleasant or not, and hold yourself accountable to your goals. Remember why you're on this path in the first place: you're worth it.
  • SnuggleSmacks
    SnuggleSmacks Posts: 3,733 Member
    You're definitely not alone. I've been hovering at the same weight since I started on here. I almost always go over my calorie goal. Increasing workouts only makes me hungrier. I need to find more super low-cal foods that I can pig out on. Free food is a weakness. It's hard to say no when there's free doughnuts or pizza at work.
  • princessmommy122
    princessmommy122 Posts: 135 Member
    I had two weeks like that. I just logged everything. Eventually I had enough of the big numbers and got back on track.
  • linka411
    linka411 Posts: 101 Member
    Just work to get yourself slowly back on the wagon. We all fall off at some point. The first time you realize what you've been up to is the first opportunity to reverse it. Try just getting back to counting and having a few small treats a day. Before you know it you'll be back on track :D.
  • thegilly6
    thegilly6 Posts: 137 Member
    Pick a Monday and decide that that is the wall. Eat everything your heart desires right up to Sunday night but know that on Monday morning it's full GAME ON!
  • amwbox
    amwbox Posts: 577 Member
    My problem is that I love to cook. As in French things loaded with cream and butter and meat and cheese. That's what has knocked me off the wagon in the past. So now, I simply don't cook beyond something simple like boiled eggs....until Sunday. Then I cook whatever, invite some people over, and get it out of my system.

    Its a process. You go through a rough patch...then you get back on the wagon and keep going. It'll average out. Important that you be honest with yourself and log it all, no matter what.
  • linka411
    linka411 Posts: 101 Member
    Pick a Monday and decide that that is the wall. Eat everything your heart desires right up to Sunday night but know that on Monday morning it's full GAME ON!

    ^ this is a good trick as well. I do this when I slide.
  • SavinnaMarie
    SavinnaMarie Posts: 108 Member
    I try to get over it, move on and start over. but a day after that good day of starting over, I binge again. it's a horrible cycle! :( I also tried that 1 day trick. that's what I do on my cheat days, I eat whatever I want but that's when bingeing usually starts so it just makes things worse. but I noticed that just happens right now. when I tried losing weight before, cheat days were just cheat days. not a path to bingeing and I also did not have bingeing periods at that time. I don't know what the actual problem is right now. I might consider a visit to a nutritionist or whoever addresses this problem if it doesn't stop.