Hi. I'm new here and I really need support.

My name is Amy. I'm 39, married and have two kids. I am VERY overweight. I've never really sincerely tried to lose the weight. I'm prone to pretty severe depression and tend to be very sedentary. I decided that I'd better get my head on straight about 2 weeks ago and found MFP. I've been logging every calorie on my phone with the app. It says I'm allowed 2000 calories a day and I'll lose 2 pounds a week if I eat that. I've been VERY good so far, but some days are a real struggle. My husband is thin and has the metabolism of a hummingbird. He eats when he wants and what he wants and gains nothing. He's not the most supportive person in the world when it comes to this, and insists on desserts in the house. I can usually stay away from them, for some reason once I've baked it I don't care to eat it.

I'm questioning the 2000 calories a day though. That seems like a lot. I thought I'd have to go down to 1500 or so to lose anything. I got discouraged yesterday. I have to have lost some weight, but can't tell about the pounds because I don't own a scale. I was depending on my clothing telling me I was making progress, but nothing seems looser....except the cup size on my bra. I realized that THAT is where it's happening. LOL not complaining really but it would be nice if it came off my stomach or thighs or face. Anyway, that's my story. I look forward to getting to know some people who need help too.

Thanks!
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Replies

  • lisavdonaldson
    lisavdonaldson Posts: 1 Member
    Hi! I am not completely new but I keep to myself and decided today, maybe if I reach out and connect more I can have more support and motivation to stay on track. So...good luck to you!
  • cowbooger
    cowbooger Posts: 10
    Hey guys! Also new here! Well at least to the boards. Ive just recently started using MFP again. Trying again to lose. My BF luckily doesnt like sweet, but he LOVES food. His overeating and crazy eating (always wanting fast food got me here) ive always had to be careful when losing weight, I adopted some very unhealthy eating habits in highschool amd lost too much weight. My bone structure is too large to support my recommended weight of 111. Haha. At 130 I look like a bag of bones! Im in a pretty rough journey. Ive recently quit smoking also, and everyone knows that makes you eat like crazy! Plus I cant eat wheat! Go figure! Find sweet treats that are healthy for you! Thats my escape, I found these frozen fruit&veggie bars that are to die for!!!! If you ever want to talk message me! My bf never wants to talk diet haha but I need somebody who does
  • Willdta
    Willdta Posts: 11
    Welcome Amy! I would be happy to help you with your goal to lose weight! If you don't mind sharing, what's your current weight, height and activity level (how many times do you work out/week?). I can provide you with free help if you ever need it. Good luck and feel free to message me for assistance!
  • intenseze
    intenseze Posts: 20
    Wow! Thanks for the quick responses. I'm currently around 380 and would be happy to get down to 200/180. I'm being realistic here. I know it's going to take 2 or so years. I currently DON'T work out. At all. I had gotten to the point that I couldn't do much and realized I was in danger of becoming house bound. I've got tons of anxiety, as I seem to attract really nasty people when I go out. I get mooed at, stared at, and generally am someone that horrible people love to make fun of. I just want to not cringe when I look in the mirror. I get winded really easily, and I'm not sure how to start exercising without putting myself in danger. I welcome any and all help. Thank you so much.
  • Willdta
    Willdta Posts: 11
    What's your height currently? I can help you further with your diet/exercise with that info.
  • nancybuss
    nancybuss Posts: 1,461 Member
    We're here to help! sounds like above poster is going to run the numbers for you when he gets all the info! :)

    Its also time to sit your husband down and talk about your needs. Tell him you're concerned for your health. You want to be around and healthy for as long as possible for the kids and you need his help, his partnership, to do this. If there are certain things you just don't want in the house (you know you'll eat it) let hm know you don't want it there. If he wants it he can get it when he's out for himself.

    You're a team, and he should want you healthy too. Explain it in that sense. Don't let him say "I love you how you are" That is sweet and wonderful but if you are Ready and feeling Unhealthy then YOU NEED this!

    Good luck!!!
    Feel free to friend me if you'd like.
  • intenseze
    intenseze Posts: 20
    Oops I forgot that part. I'm 5'5".

    As for my husband, well let's just say there are "issues" there. He'd never say he loves me just the way I am. He's been very open about not liking the way I look. I put on about 100 lbs. since having our daughter 9 almost 10 years ago. So nope, I'm not looking like I did when we got married. It is something we are going to counseling for. He's not going to change though, I don't see it happening. I'm doing this for me though, not him. He's probably screwed no matter what at this point. If I lose this weight and his behavior changes, I'll resent that I wasn't good enough for him before I lost it. If he doesn't change it then I'll resent that he said it was the problem. Let's just hope the counselor makes a difference in that area lol.
  • CanadaChick74
    CanadaChick74 Posts: 59 Member
    I'm fairly new here myself and you can add me! My husband is overweight, but is clearly not in the frame of mind to lose any weight right now, so I'm doing this on my own. Do this for yourself! Do what you need to do and don't pay any attention to what he is eating. Also, by eating healthier you are setting a good example for your daughter. I am super motivated right now and I am happy to try and share that motivation with you.
  • loubidy
    loubidy Posts: 440 Member
    For me I lose off my chest, around my collar bones, neck, cheeks, belly then last of all thighs!! Don't worry it will come!!
  • intenseze
    intenseze Posts: 20
    thank you everyone. I don't know how to add friends though. How does that work?
  • disneygallagirl
    disneygallagirl Posts: 515 Member
    Hi, I will send you a FR (friend request)...happy to give you some support. :flowerforyou:

    here is an awesome link to read....
    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1175494-a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants?hl=path+to+your+sexy+pants

    (edited to add link to path to sexypants)
  • intenseze
    intenseze Posts: 20
    nevermind....I figured it out. The things you learn when you look around for a bit. haha
  • MtnPixie
    MtnPixie Posts: 5
    I sent you a friend request. :)

    One thing I want to say, and I think it was already said but needs to be repeated, is this. Do this for you. If you are doing this for someone else, it won't work. I know because I did that before.

    Many years ago, the guy I was dating at the time looked at me while we were heading to Minnesota for work and told me, "I would marry you if you lost the weight." Back then I wasn't as heavy as I am now, but I was so in love with this guy that when he said that, I took it as my only chance at gaining his full love. So when we arrived in Minnesota, I asked his aunt (we were staying there at the time) to help me with that. She did, and I began to lose the weight. Unfortunately, he cheated on me and moved his 'girlfriend' up there while I was still there. Needless to say, I lost motivation and stopped my weight loss plans.

    It was a hard lesson for me to learn, but it has been one that has stuck with me for a very long time. I'm doing this weight loss journey for me. The time is right, and I know that with support and MFP I can do it.

    So, don't worry about your husband. Take the journey for yourself. Think about how good you'll feel, how sexy you feel and look.

    *hugs* We can do it! :flowerforyou:
  • karlachula
    karlachula Posts: 9 Member
    Hi I just sent you a request. I'm Karla and I started at 320 or so in June 2011. I am now down to about 210 and trying to break through this plateau I hit. I'd be happy to provide to support and see you do we'll. I need friends so everyone feel free to add me. I was at 238 when I joined MFP last may.
  • ccf_trainer
    ccf_trainer Posts: 86 Member
    I'm sorry you have to go through all of that, and for the fact that he isn't being very supportive about it. Maybe there is a reason why he is not being supportive of your desire to lose weight and get yourself in better shape. He sounds very insecure, and with him being very thin, that is what I'm banking on. He needs to understand that your condition is dangerous. He needs to understand that there are risks involved, and I'm talking about health risks. Heart diseases, hypertension, diabetes, even cancer. He needs to understand that, and support your decision to get healthier. I'm glad that you are making this choice for yourself. You do not need his approval. It's your body, and only YOU can take care of it. As far as the number of calories go, the thing you really need to focus on, more than stressing over the calories, is just to have a set meal plan involving vitamins and supplements, lean meats, good carbs (sweet potatoes and brown rice, for example), fruits and vegetables, and lots of water. You're doing a good job of avoiding simple sugars. You need 5 meals a day, and that's three regular meals (or 2 meal replacement shakes and 1 big dinner), and two protein snacks. I can't stress the protein enough. It is important to get the protein in your system because you need to boost metabolism. Protein will help (not entirely do it for you). Protein will really aid in weight loss. More protein, and less carbs is really the way to go. Don't deprive yourself of good nutrition by "watching your calories." All you need is good nutrition. And then the exercise. It's important to exercise 150 minutes per week. You don't need to do anything vigorous right now, but as long as you can get your blood flowing, and improve your strength, you will get healthier every time. It's all about progression. Take baby steps.

    I really hope this helps, and I really hope that this will encourage you. You can do this. I know you can.
  • stanvoodoo
    stanvoodoo Posts: 1,023 Member
    I would start with the 2000 per day, majority protien and then veggies, really limit the carbs. No soda and lots of water.

    Lower calories slowly as you increase exercise. Start with chair exercises if you have to and walking as you can.

    Try to get up every hour to at least take a few steps.

    It will happen if you stick to it and if you have a bad day, log it, accept it and start anew the next day.

    Never giving up is the key!!

    Best of luck!!!
  • joyce325
    joyce325 Posts: 2 Member
    Hi, I am also new. Been tracking my food for about a week now. April 17 I went to the dr for a rash and left with the a script for Metformin for high blood sugar. I have completely changed what I eat, making better choices. No bread or soda at all. My husband and I take the dogs for a walk 2-3 times a week, usually 30 minutes. I started this week on the treadmill 15 min after breakfast and 15 min. after lunch. I am determined to come off the meds. I weigh 243 and I am 5 3. Hope to make some friends to help keep me on track during this journey of a life change. :smile:
  • tambam69
    tambam69 Posts: 270 Member
    Hi, I'm Tammy I will send a FR and anyone here can feel free to add me......
  • mom2tm
    mom2tm Posts: 25 Member
    So- I was sticking with a 1200-1400 calorie diet and eating back about half of my workout calories - and I was working out 5 times a week and sticking strict to the diet. And saw the scale move about 2lbs in about 3-4 weeks. I was getting very frustrated. And then a friend I made on here told me I was putting myself into starvation mode - moved myself up to 1900 calories a day (with a good assortment of healthy foods) two weeks ago - and have lost about 5lbs in the past two weeks. Who knew eating more would help me lose more! It's working and I plan on sticking with it.
    Best of luck to you - you are more than welcome to add me as a friend - I try to get on a log everyday.
    My name is Amy. I'm 39, married and have two kids. I am VERY overweight. I've never really sincerely tried to lose the weight. I'm prone to pretty severe depression and tend to be very sedentary. I decided that I'd better get my head on straight about 2 weeks ago and found MFP. I've been logging every calorie on my phone with the app. It says I'm allowed 2000 calories a day and I'll lose 2 pounds a week if I eat that. I've been VERY good so far, but some days are a real struggle. My husband is thin and has the metabolism of a hummingbird. He eats when he wants and what he wants and gains nothing. He's not the most supportive person in the world when it comes to this, and insists on desserts in the house. I can usually stay away from them, for some reason once I've baked it I don't care to eat it.

    I'm questioning the 2000 calories a day though. That seems like a lot. I thought I'd have to go down to 1500 or so to lose anything. I got discouraged yesterday. I have to have lost some weight, but can't tell about the pounds because I don't own a scale. I was depending on my clothing telling me I was making progress, but nothing seems looser....except the cup size on my bra. I realized that THAT is where it's happening. LOL not complaining really but it would be nice if it came off my stomach or thighs or face. Anyway, that's my story. I look forward to getting to know some people who need help too.

    Thanks!
  • bimpski
    bimpski Posts: 176 Member
    hi. you can get some walking dvd's at your local library or on line. that way you can get started on a little exercise right at home, and go about it at your own pace. you will build up your stamina and your confidence. add me if you like.
  • danielleknoll
    danielleknoll Posts: 2 Member
    Just a bit of insite: I am 5-5"/130lbs and I am on 2100 calories to maintain. So the 2000 for you, is not a lot at all. Focus on eating lots of veggies and lean proteins :) The good thing is your body has quite a bit of muscle and it is used to joint stress, so just moving will be like a strength workout for you. The more you move, the more your body will increase that muscle and the more you will burn at rest. Start small... anything you can do and build from there! get rid of all processed snacks/foods and sugars, you will be amazed at just that. You may have some energy depletion while your body adjusts to the sugar low. You got this!!!
  • danielleknoll
    danielleknoll Posts: 2 Member
    Hi I just sent you a request. I'm Karla and I started at 320 or so in June 2011. I am now down to about 210 and trying to break through this plateau I hit. I'd be happy to provide to support and see you do we'll. I need friends so everyone feel free to add me. I was at 238 when I joined MFP last may.

    Karla, this is AWESOME!!! Congrats!!
  • EVIEPINA1
    EVIEPINA1 Posts: 2
    hi everyone

    im new here also, week 2 and this is the first time ive ever had the notion n determination to do this. im not one for much interaction but need support to help me, i like amy dont know what im meant to be eating but i have a holiday abroad in 8 weeks and know im still gonna be fat when i go but i hope to feel better about myself than i do now. I also have been signed off work with serious depression due to issues within the workplace but i feel so much better already, I cant run to save myself but I thought as someone who is super unfit ill buy a wii and have been doing 30 mins 4/5 days a week, may i just add that i can barely bend down cos every bone in my body is crying out for help lol, hoping to meet people like me, not wee skinny people that have never had a weight issue in there life
  • smann1115
    smann1115 Posts: 63 Member
    Feel free to add me if you'd like!
  • jan5500
    jan5500 Posts: 47 Member
    Welcome, Amy. Good for you for doing this for yourself and your daughter. Keep it up. You can do it. Seeing someone else change can be hard for many people to accept. Don't let anyone else's fears or lack of support stop you. Depression is something many of us here share. When you start eating right, that should become less severe and should go away all together as you get healthier. Protein, veggies, lots of water and balanced supplements are key.
  • jeanstudies
    jeanstudies Posts: 81 Member
    He's not the most supportive person in the world when it comes to this, and insists on desserts in the house. I can usually stay away from them, for some reason once I've baked it I don't care to eat it.

    I'm questioning the 2000 calories a day though. That seems like a lot. I thought I'd have to go down to 1500 or so to lose anything. I got discouraged yesterday.

    Hi Amy, it is really cool that you are doing this! Thanks for your post and try not to get discouraged. At "just" 255 pounds my BodyMedia armband (the ones they used on "The Biggest Loser") shows that I burn almost 1800 a day without exercising at all, so the 2000 calorie count may not be unreasonable.

    I'd say, just practice at staying within that, and see how it goes. That's a struggle for me, and even if I eat some high-calorie desert I force myself (um, mostly) to enter it, and then see how it affects my remaining allowed calories at the end of the day. This is the first time in my life I have tracked and I realize now how MUCH I had been eating before. I STINK at weight loss and have a lot to learn, I am GOING to screw it up from time to time, but this is a long-term process. Down 17 but have another 99 to go....

    Try to work around hubby's problem, probably he will come around. One hurdle at a time, I'd say. Go get 'em!
  • blondageh
    blondageh Posts: 923 Member
    Hi Amy!! I was in a very similar situation. Right before I started MFP I had just moved 3000 miles from home to be with my now husband without knowing anyone and became so depressed, I rarely left the house. My husband is addicted to fast food. I soon took on his addiction and already being overweight, I put on about 120lbs in a year. So, I found this site and started at 405lbs!! I have been where you are. I did it on my own. He wasn't ready to change. I would log my calories and still go out and get him fast food, having to smell it and bring it back to him. That was hard. Really hard, but I am used to doing that now. You just know that they aren't going to change. You have to be in the mindset that whatever you do is for you and it is for TODAY.

    As for results, I bet you have lost quite a bit. I have to lose about 40lbs before notice in my clothes because I am so used to wearing baggy clothes. I bet you are the same way. The best way to tell is buy a tape measure. They are cheap and less temperamental then a stupid scale!!
  • babydaisy81
    babydaisy81 Posts: 218 Member
    Hi Amy! You've found a great spot to start with your new lifestyle! Get a great group of friends around you for support, and don't let a bad meal or a bad day get you down!
  • margelarry1969
    margelarry1969 Posts: 2 Member
    Amy, I just joined today also. You are right...this will be a struggle for both of us, but just take it one day at a time. I will be your weight buddy if you need one. In former diets, I found that the less sugar I intake the faster the weight comes off, so think twice about those desserts. Go for some fresh fruit instead. Good Luck, Marge
  • geminichica
    geminichica Posts: 1 Member
    Hi Amy, This is my first post on here and I just wanted to say fair play to you taking this step, it is hard and even more so when you don't have the support at home. I would advise to try and have "bad stuff" for him in that you don't like then its less tempting. My husband is not overweight but eats what he wants and not very healthily, loving sweet things, so I feel your pain on that score. I have had three children in the last 5 years and my baby girl is 9 months old and I am just fed up of stopping and starting dieting and always being overweight, I have about 60lbs to lose which feels like a mountain. I am doing C25K along side the MFP. Could you try doing some exercise in the house so as you are more comfortable, a dvd or you tube or something? MFP tells me 1200 and I find that hard to stick to when I am eating healthy stuff but still reach 1200 very fast.