Um, what?

2»

Replies

  • _lyndseybrooke_
    _lyndseybrooke_ Posts: 2,561 Member
    I'd let her buy me the food and let it sit there. It's her money, why fight her on it? Just because she buys it doesn't mean you have to eat it, especially if you told her you weren't hungry.
  • Holly_Roman_Empire
    Holly_Roman_Empire Posts: 4,440 Member
    I'd have a heart to heart talk with her about it.

    Or I'd stop going out to eat with her.

    Or I'd let her buy it for me, then take it home to eat for lunch the next day. No way I'm throwing food in the trash. Just because your friend is being immature about it doesn't mean you have to be.
  • MrsATrotta
    MrsATrotta Posts: 278 Member
    I really feel you on this!! I never feel more pressured to eat unhealthy than when I am with friends, my one friend just moved back from another state, someone I used to eat really badly with and I have gotten her to work out like 2 times but she just generally seems not into it. Even though she is now getting a gym membership she can't even go for a walk with me or make healthy food options. My very best best advice is this, if she gives up.. That does NOT mean you should. Your life is yours to take care of!! DRAG her kicking and screaming back to the healthy side! I know just how hard it can be when other ppl make bad decisions, my girlfriend sometimes will have pizza while I'm eating like a snack bar or something lol but you can always have a positive influence on her don't give up!! Your doing so good for yourself stay on track!!
  • tigersword
    tigersword Posts: 8,059 Member
    It's simple. If you say you don't want anything, and she insists on buying you food anyway, just throw it out.

    Problem solved.
  • MrsJennaKwasniewski
    MrsJennaKwasniewski Posts: 204 Member
    This is a perfect example as to why I do not want to lose weight with anyone or have a workout buddy or whatever. I don't want to be the one to drag someone down and I don't want to be dragged down either.

    That being said...you need to put your foot down and lay it all out for her. If she gets butthurt or upset with you then she isn't much of a bestfriend for not supporting you while trying to get physically fit. I would say to just quit hanging out with her but obviously she is your bestfriend....it really just depends on how much you want it...if she is buying you food and you are telling her no then let her waste her money and just don't eat it. IT IS NOT CONSIDERED RUDE to not eat the food because you forwarned her, politely, that you didn't want it in the first place. Now if she has a gun to your head and/or is force feeding you then I would say its time to get a new bestfriend...

    ETA: I wouldn't throw the food away either...I would either let her take it home to do what she wants with it OR give it to a homeless person or someone in need of it
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
    I'd have a heart to heart talk with her about it.

    Or I'd stop going out to eat with her.

    Or I'd let her buy it for me, then take it home to eat for lunch the next day. No way I'm throwing food in the trash. Just because your friend is being immature about it doesn't mean you have to be.

    Basically this.

    I think throwing it away to prove a point is silly. You don't have to eat it and if she gets pushy, just leave. I would explain to her that if she wants to have dinner with you to let you know ahead of time, so you can plan enjoying a meal with her.
  • MomTo3Lovez
    MomTo3Lovez Posts: 800 Member
    First I definitely would not eat it, I don't care if she bought it or not, you toldher you weren't hungry and that should have been enough, she wants to waste her money that's on her not you. You cannot let her push you to eat when a)it's something you don't want to eat and b) if you aren't hungry.

    I would also have a talk with her and tell her how you feel and see where it goes. Good luck!
  • spara0038
    spara0038 Posts: 226 Member
    My mom used to be like this. We're the same height/weight/clothes size. I think my mom thought of me more like a twin than a daughter.

    Anyway, I came to realize that she would do that only go out to eat if I did too. It wasn't so much an issue of her actually caring whether or not I ate anything, but it was an issue of "sharing the blame". When my mom felt like she was splurging by herself, she didn't do it. I'm not sure if it was out of comparing herself to me or something like that, but after a while, she stopped doing it.

    Short term solution: Go with her, have her buy you something, then have her throw it away. I hate to waste food, but she at least needs to see that you have awesome willpower and that you're determined to make good choices. Trust me, it will SERIOUSLY test your willpower, but you'll feel so accomplished for resisting.

    Long term solution: Have a heart to heart. If she doesn't understand that you're doing it for your own health, then maybe you need to reevaluate the friendship. Getting healthy is hard enough without someone actively trying to make you fail.
  • sheleen302
    sheleen302 Posts: 266 Member
    Stop going out to eat with her.
  • l_ashley
    l_ashley Posts: 154 Member
    When people are faced with someone that is successfully becoming healthier, it really makes them consider their own choices. Your friend is probably very guilty that she is slipping from her healthy eating and I bet that she is finding it very hard to pull herself back up. So she is trying to make you slip too. Because if you slip, then no one has to feel guilty about eating fast food all day. You will be together in failure.
  • AliciaStinger
    AliciaStinger Posts: 402 Member
    Here's one more vote for LongIsland's post, and also my take on things.

    1. Whether I was eating healthy or not, I wouldn't eat a second meal if I had just had one. If she buys it for you and you want it, put it in the fridge and save it for when you have room in your day for fast food - but keep in mind that if you eat it, your friend will likely continue to buy you food.

    2. I think you need to communicate with your friend. Nothing is going to get better if she makes dismissive comments and actions, and you continue to silently resent this behavior. You seem to feel bad because she's trying to be nice and include you - but you have to remind yourself that she is also being rude by disrespecting your wishes. She hopefully wouldn't act like this if you developed a food allergy or sensitivity; she has to understand that, while it may not be immediately life threatening (like an allergy), you are still making a choice about your health, and as your friend, you want her support.

    3. Maybe if you subtly remind her about other things you have in common, she will feel less abandoned - however, don't put this situation on yourself. If you go out to see a movie, go bowling, or visit a museum, food might be part of the activity, but it's not the main part of your time together. If she enjoys time with you that doesn't involve unhealthy habits, maybe she will feel better about this change in you, and your friendship. Like I said though, if your friend can't or won't respect your wishes, then that may not be a problem you can change; you're trying to hold the relationship together, but if she isn't willing to meet you halfway, don't blame yourself if things come to an end.

    Good luck!
  • lollipoprincess
    lollipoprincess Posts: 117 Member
    gosh this is really bizarre, the only one who tries to push food at me is my mum. She is your friend you need to be straight with her. Nothing wrong with her eating and you having your water. I can have a peppermint tea whilst friends are eating in a cafe.

    My mom and sister too. House is always full of junk. But, no excuses, you control what goes in.
  • MVY_
    MVY_ Posts: 253 Member
    Talk to her about it...
  • VanillaBeanSeed
    VanillaBeanSeed Posts: 562 Member
    Tell her No means No and you're disappointed that she's not supporting you during your journey. If she wants to eat stuff that's fine but pressuring you isn't what a best friend should be doing.

    This.
    Yes she may be struggling and need help as well, but you cant let others take you down.

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