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MyFitnessPal Community

Hi. I'm new here and I really need support.

intenseze

My name is Amy. I'm 39, married and have two kids. I am VERY overweight. I've never really sincerely tried to lose the weight. I'm prone to pretty severe depression and tend to be very sedentary. I decided that I'd better get my head on straight about 2 weeks ago and found MFP. I've been logging every calorie on my phone with the app. It says I'm allowed 2000 calories a day and I'll lose 2 pounds a week if I eat that. I've been VERY good so far, but some days are a real struggle. My husband is thin and has the metabolism of a hummingbird. He eats when he wants and what he wants and gains nothing. He's not the most supportive person in the world when it comes to this, and insists on desserts in the house. I can usually stay away from them, for some reason once I've baked it I don't care to eat it.

I'm questioning the 2000 calories a day though. That seems like a lot. I thought I'd have to go down to 1500 or so to lose anything. I got discouraged yesterday. I have to have lost some weight, but can't tell about the pounds because I don't own a scale. I was depending on my clothing telling me I was making progress, but nothing seems looser....except the cup size on my bra. I realized that THAT is where it's happening. LOL not complaining really but it would be nice if it came off my stomach or thighs or face. Anyway, that's my story. I look forward to getting to know some people who need help too.

Thanks!

Replies

zeezy5164

Feel free to add me

Kimmy7777

Feel free to add me for motivation and I post all the time!

SexiLexi1989

Hi!
I am a Katie and I am new too. My SIL just sent me the link to this site and i decided it looked interesting enough to try it..

I just logged my calorie intake and exercise for the first time, today. I am 43 years old and kinda active.

My physician told me that at my age, I would have to work out about 3 hours a day to actually lose weight due to how my metabolism is at this station in life--and this was unreasonable--so I would HAVE to also work on eating healthier--It makes sense.

When I was in my 20's I could modify just a few things and drop pounds very quickly. Now, I have to go strictly by the guidelines just for a measly 2 pounds per week. And while 2 pounds are not something we often feel great about, IF we continue on our path those 2 pounds will add up to 8..in just 4 weeks!
In 2 months you are close to dropping 20 pounds--and that IS significant, no matter how much you weigh.

I wouldn't bother trying to get reassurance through measuring how your cloths feel just yet, try so hard to focus on meeting each days goal. And if you slip, just jump back on your path the next day. Don't give in to failure!

For me: i have to remind myself that Failing to meet my goal is NOT an option! When i cheat or go over my calorie intake for the day, the next day i just start right back over like yesterday didn't matter.

I don't know how to add you as a Buddy yet or how to email (if you can on this site) or private chat (if you can do that either) but if so feel free to contact me and we can use support each other!
I have my profile set to public so you can see what's going on with me each day. You'll be able to see that some days i'll be perfectly on target and others...BLAH!

I wish you every bit of strength so you can meet your goal, and while it will be a LONG journey for you (and me) its going to be so nice watching the progress and learning things along the way.

I have honestly been SURPRISED at how little I know about nutrition and "healthy"..I am 43 years old and am just starting to try to understand what food is supposed to mean in my life, and how its supposed to be used.

BTW..I have been calorie counting for about 3 weeks and I honestly can tell a MAJOR difference in how I feel. I have eliminated bags of chips and candy bars, physically and mentally I just feel better. I WANT to get up each day and move around. I WANT to accomplish my goal for the day.. And this is a BIG difference in me verses just a month ago.. My cloths don't fit any differently yet I have 8 pounds..:)

So hang in there and use all the tools provided to help you meet your goals. And lets hope this site also helps us build a great support system and lifetime friends along the way.

WVmom24

Hi I'm Valerie. Feel free to add me, and welcome to MFP! It has been a godsend to me, personally, as well as countless others. Just keep logging your foods like you've been doing, and try to get moving around a little more each day. Every little bit helps! I understand that tempting foods in the house is unavoidable. I live with my parents and three kids. My parents are very unhealthy and love junk foods. I try to keep healthy options here for the kids, but they still have a lot of snacks that I try to avoid...like gummy snacks, chips, children's cereals, etc. I've learned that once you truly get into the habit of eating healthier foods, that the cravings for junk go away. I used to not be able to avoid something like doughnuts or a big cheeseburger. Now foods like that are a huge turn off. Even thinking about them or looking at them makes my stomach turn a bit. As you get used to eating healthier, your tastes will change. Good luck!

julieworley376

Hi Amy, I sent you an invitation to our group, I think it would really help you. Please add me too.

kbessey04

Hi!! I too am relatively new and let me start by saying welcome!! My fiance is exactly the same way with desserts and insists on bringing home my favorites, even though he knows I have zero will power.

Let me give you my background,

I'm 26 and 5'3, i recently weighed in at my all time highest of 263. Last summer I lose 40 pounds on MFP, then over the course of this winter I not only gained back the 40, but another 10. I have ZERO energy, and I honestly believe I'm addicted to food in general. I'm looking for someone who would be interested in doing little challenges with me, maybe each week, or each day, we can start a little challenge. For me, I'm not physically fit in any way, and a half a mile walk absolutely winds me! So a challenge may be to walk 2 miles in a week, or to drink 8 glasses of water every day for a week, something simple. I think if the focus is more on small steps, I need small steps. I need to lose 60 pounds to even be slightly close to a healthy weight, and I think we could be useful for one another.. If anyone else is interested in adding me, please do. Also, if anyone is interested in these little challenges, maybe we could figure something out to be successful together?

candace71

Hey sweet lady, we're all here for support! Your not here alone! Trust me!! You take each day one day at a time! I love MFP it really puts those calories in my face and keeps me in check! Sometimes I think OMG there's no telling how many I was putting down before I started logging!!! It takes time to drop weight after all we didn't put it on overnight! I'm here girl. Add me as a friend!! Anybody for that matter! We can do this together!!!!????????

JFJahnke

The fact that you got mooed at is ridiculous.
Everyone struggles in their own way and I just hate people who are rude for no reason.
You can do it. Log everyday, and you'll get there one day at a time. We all will

I've got a stupid amount of faith in you

Ldysw357

Hi and welcome! You've made the right choice for yourself, just remember it is for you and no one else. You can do this! It won't always be easy, but you will fee such accomplishment in yourself. That and the health you gain make this worth the journey. Everyone here is very supportive and helpful! If you're on Facebook there is also am MFP motivation group on there that I love! The link is: https://www.facebook.com/groups/MFPMotivation/

Feel free to send a friend request. Happy to help and support you!

BookAngel_a

I sent you a friend request. I've been here on MFP for the past 3 weeks so I'm still somewhat new. I have 100 pounds to lose (maybe more after that?) and I've already lost 8 pounds.

If you said you don't own a scale, it might be good to get one, so that you can monitor your progress. You don't need to weigh in often, just once or twice a month if you like. That way MFP can help you re-calculate your calories as you lose.

Sorry you don't have support at home. I have very loving family, but they don't understand my struggles. Unfortunately no one in my close family has or has ever had a major weight problem. I apparently inherited the metabolism of my two grandmothers, haha...And I'm also an emotional/stress eater. That's what makes MFP so awesome - everyone here can relate to me and my struggles, and I get support that I've been wishing I had at home. When I get discouraged my MFP friends encourage me and know exactly what to say!

Also, when you have a lot to lose, it takes longer for friends and family to notice your loss. That can get discouraging. Last time I Iost weight I dropped 30 pounds and no one said a word. I was discouraged. Here on MFP I can talk about my loss or post pictures and I get lots of encouragement. So I don't feel as much of a need for my family/friends to notice and compliment my loss. Hope that makes sense...

So I would suggest, don't worry about much exercise right now, just track your calories and try to stay under goal, monitor your progress with a scale or at least take measurements, and take some "before" pictures. Even if the scale doesn't budge and you feel discouraged, you can look at your photos and measurements and see progress!

Oh, and make as many MFP friends as you can, those who have a lot to lose, and we can help each other get to goal!

karlalband

I wish these forums had a like button! Add me I will try to help I'm here everyday no matter what. MFP has been the best thing that has happened to me in a long time. My husband is hard to deal with too. Just do it for your self. I will send you a friend request. Chin up!

BARBnKS

Hi! I restarted on MFP at the end of Feb., 2014 at 297 lbs. and now am 280. I am trying to lose mostly by tracking my food & reducing portions. Now that I have lost 17 lbs. I am gradually adding in some walking. We can do this without exercise but it is slow going but the more weight we lose more likely we will be able to exercise. I have not changed much about what I eat except try to limit bread, pastas, cookies & cake , I just reduce portions of what I usually eat.. Please add me if you like for support & to motivate each other.

peejaygee1

Blatantly quoting another wise member on here, but you will find this some very helpful advice:

1. don't trust the initial setup that MFP provides. If you put in the wrong/inaccurate information, it'll tell you to eat an amount that may not be applicable.
2. Make sure you eat enough.
3. Figure out what works for you and is sustainable/healthy/long term.
4. avoid fads. don't buy in to any "Hey, try the twinkie and vodka diet"
5. Don't cut out anything now that you don't plan on literally giving up forever.
6. GET A FOOD SCALE. Weigh everything. No, seriously.
7. Get an HRM with a chest strap. You'll at least have a better idea of what you're burning. It'll be more accurate than the generic info in the exercise database.. and even more than the cardio machines. This is great for steady state cardio (run/walk/etc)
8. Don't go balls out. You'll burn out. I see 300 lb people show up here, instantly start working out and cutting their intake SEVERELY... trying to cut out all of their carbs at once.. whatever. Take it slow. Figure out how much you need to eat FIRST in order to lose.. then incorporate exercise.
9. Don't cardio yourself to death.
10. Take the information on the forums with a grain of salt. A lot of people that have been here for a while.. and have been successful, may seem jaded. They give out GREAT advice day after day, only to be met with people that refuse to listen.
11. Eat real food. Not diet food. Not "low fat, sugar free, now without X." It's easier to get/find/count.
12. don't set time restrictions.
13. measure yourself weekly. Don't just weigh. Measure and take pictures.
14 BE PATIENT.
15. Avoid forum topics that have "1200" in the title. It's just full of butthurt. Lots of it.
16. If you ask a question on the forum, give as much information as you can ("yes, I have a food scale and weigh my food" is worlds better than "I eat a palm full of miscellaneous boiled chicken parts..sometimes.")
17. Be honest with yourself and honest with us.
18. This isn't a game, it's about changing your lifestyle. Do that.

pretty much that.

...and don't fall into the "1200 calorie" vertigo of suck because of:

the typical MFP users does this:
1. I wanna lose weight, let's try MFP.
2. OH! Wow, it tells me I can lose 2 lbs a WEEK? AWESOME!
3. I just sit at a desk when I'm not working out, I guess I'm sedentary.
4. MFP tells them 1200 calories, and they don't even eat that.. then they work out on top of it.. creating an even bigger deficit.
5. Lose a lot, fast, brag about 1200 calorie success.
6. Come back in a few months trying to figure out why they're dizzy, tired, not losing weight.
7. Get on the forums, ask why they aren't losing.
8. Get two responses (I eat 1200 and lose) (I eat 2200 and lose)
9. Argument ensues about who is right.

Now. That being said. These threads happen hundreds of times per day. Most times, and I mean really.. seriously.. 95% of the time.. people get the 1200 number because they don't put the right information in when they set up the account. There are a great number of people that are trying to help. I'm one of 'em.

I'm a hardcore advocate of actually finding out what works for the individual.. by means of other calculators, averages, time, practice, and patience.

Blanket prescriptions of 1200 calories "because it worked for me" is more harmful to the generic new user than the "figure out what you need to eat." Unfortunately, one is a LOT easier to type.

Find out what you need: http://scoobysworkshop.com/accurate-calorie-calculator/

and make sure to read: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1080242-a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants

...and here's another approach.

Block off 6 weeks. log EXACTLY what you eat for those six weeks, weigh at the beginning, weight at the end. If you've lost, you're eating under your TDEE. If you haven't lost, congrats.. you found your TDEE, if you've gained... then you're above TDEE.

From there, look at how much you lost or gained and you have a rough estimate of how to shift your intake to balance it out.

Online calculators are great, but they're just estimates. They give you decent ideas for starting points. From there, it's on you to fine tune it.

MissBryonyF

Hi Amy,

I think one of the best forms of exercise when you are obese, is swimming! It relieves a lot of pressure on your joints and lessens the risk of injury. I am over 100kgs, I can relate to all the strains and pains! I mainly do walking. Also I can definitely relate to having a partner not liking my weight. He is history and I found someone way better. You are not alone!

Good luck, feel free to contact me/add me

mihonie

Hello Amy,

I'll second the suggestion of swimming. It's the preferred exercise of one of my friends who is larger and has joint problems. Walks, at whatever speed you feel comfortable at, can also be gentle on joints and relaxing. If you like cooking and/or trying new foods, try checking out local library and seeing what cookbooks and diet/nutrition books they have available. I was flipping through one and found a recipe for a beef stew that uses curry, sweet potatoes, chickpeas and broccoli, which has since become a favorite dinner in our family. Best of luck to you!

JDawg867

Hi. In my experience and opinion, losing weight is 50% eating healthy and 50% exercise. That's all there is to it. No secret diet plan, no pills/formulas and no easy way around it. If you do both, you will lose weight. You have to as your body will be forced to changed. It will be hard and you'll have to overcome many struggles but you will do it.
I'm a firm believer in Christ and through him anything is possible. God will love you no matter what but if you want to get healthier and lose some weight then the only thing standing in your way is you. If you really want to change you will. You will have to have patience

It's not an overnight process or even a weekly process. But 2 weeks down the road, 4 weeks you will begin to see some changes. Be encouraged and be realistic. You can do whatever you set your mind to do no matter who you are or what you think of yourself. Also, look into weight training. Start lifting small weights and increase as you become stronger. Lifting will ramp up your bodies metabolism and will start to tone and tighten up your muscles while burning fat.
Don't be afraid to set goals but make them realistic. Don't set them too high and when you don't achieve them you get really disheartened. Little goals. Baby steps. You may fail here and there but 3 steps forward, 1 step back, 3 more steps forward. Always focus on the long road ahead and what you can achieve. We can all support you and say nice things but it's you who has to change and find the DRIVE to succeed and change. Once you find it, you'll never look back. Hope this helps in an uplifting way to motivate you and not get you discouraged. You can do it Amy. Everyday.

Ginaxx22

Hi, feel free to add me as a friend. I understand how difficult it must be for you to keep moving. Exercise is not easy for me either due to an injury but as long as you keep moving and don't sit down all day like I used to.

I've taken to walking the dogs and going to the gym 2 times a week. But as long as your dieting and using this site, I'm sure you can begin to loose weight to begin with without doing hours of exercise.

And then once it becomes easier for you take up some hobbies.

lynnpertle

Thanks. How many calories do you eat? What time of day do you exercise? Morning or After work? I'm thinking I need to try to exercise in the morning because after work I am full of excuses.

Ginaxx22

Thanks. How many calories do you eat? What time of day do you exercise? Morning or After work? I'm thinking I need to try to exercise in the morning because after work I am full of excuses.

Was that a question for me as my post was above? Well I am sticking to 1200 depending on how much I exercise. I am using it as a rough guide. I can't always get it write and its hard to input some foods accurately. At least it makes me stick below a certain level of calories.

my problem is enough exercise and eating too much! So now i'm aware of whats happening.

I exercise after work because I do early mornings but sometimes feel to tired to exercise at all which is why I struggle to get my self to the gym but at least I walk the dog. I take pictures of my dogs on walks, which is my motivation!!

prismacolor74

I have a general theory that men can FART off the calories. But enough about them. I have been on and off MFP since 2010. I now know that the calories allotted are the maximum for weight loss. I got the minimum from another website. I do have to say that the maximum is easier when you are at your heaviest, and a good start. LOSING IS never EASY. Especialy without the home support. My ex was HORRIBLE. My current husband has made this a breeze. You definately need to do it for yourself first and foremost. Rooting for ya girlfriend! Lisa

Gonenova

Amy,

It sounds tough but you can do it, 2000 calories is tough if you have never controlled your eating before. I didn't either, but my metabolism is good and I run frequently, but I was really surprised to find I was like 30lbs overweight. I started doing 2050 cals a day and I've lost the 30# and I've been working hard to lose another 20lbs. I don't have a scale either, but it's important to get one I think even if it's something cheap from Walmart, it always helps to have the baseline. It also helps to only check weekly, in my opinion. Stay strong, hang in there and stick to your calorie goals and I wish you all the best.