I'm about to give up...

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commtry
commtry Posts: 20
in Motivation and Support
Today, I just splurged mountains of plates of food in a chinese buffet... for dinner. I had another full meal just 2 hours beforehand expecting it will be my last meal. But my family simply decided to go to the buffet. I discouraged going, and they got angry. We went anyways, and I decided to eat healthy salad foods and I got blamed for not eating the money's worth.

Okay, this is not the only reason for giving up. This is a daily/weekly occurances with random and occasional events going on. Diet simply becomes impossible that I feel like rethinking it and maybe just make myself satisfied with how I look, even though I know I am not satisfied.

I'm not the only one in a diet, but my family doesn't understand that I am the most overweight in the family. I try my best really, i work out 2 hrs a day and yet with these events, i gain 1-2 lbs a week. I lost 10 lbs since I started in September 2013 - November. December came, gained 20 lbs! and can't lose it again. Wedding, graduation, hangingout with friends(which I now avoid all together), relatives visiting, mothers day coming up... father's day after that.

I just feel so hopeless. and I feel like instead of encouraging me, my family is discouraging my ways of dieting.

Replies

  • pghfitgirl
    pghfitgirl Posts: 44
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    It is hard. So hard...especially when you have so much going on in your life. But don't let your family be your scapegoat. You gotta do you. Make those buffet trips/holidays/celebrations fit into your macros. If they don't...then DON'T GO. Or prepare your meals ahead of time. Or eat your own meals ahead of time. Or whatever you have to do, FOR YOU.

    You lost 10 pounds before - awesome! So you know that you can do it. But you have to DO it. We can't rely on those around us to be our support system, 100% of the time. We have to be our own support system. But please don't give up!
  • ValeriePlz
    ValeriePlz Posts: 517 Member
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    Your family may be unsupportive, but they are not making you over-eat. They are only presenting a temptation, which admittedly is difficult.

    If you are at an event or a buffet, don't over-do it. Eat slowly, until you are 80% full, then stop. Take small scoops, load up on small plates and only do one trip to the buffet. If you feel really full afterward, take a walk to knock off some of the calories.

    It is much harder to lose weight with unsupportive people around, but you can do it. Live the change you want to see in your own life!
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
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    Well, let's put it like this. Even if you binge twice per week, you'd still be taking 5 steps forward, and only two backwards. That is a hell of a lot better than 6-7 steps backwards per week.
  • marca_june
    marca_june Posts: 38 Member
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    Please don't EVER give up! Do it for you...... Focus on other things besides food. Prove it to YOU. You are worthy. Your friends on MFP will give you the motivation you need if your family will not support you! If you have to get on your computer and talk(type) to them and they would be glad to help you get through each day, take One Day at a Time and yes, sometimes an hour at a time or minutes. I have still got 100 lbs. I need to lose and then maybe a little more! It takes time and dedication to yourself. I am trying to lose for my health. I hope only the best for you. I'll be your friend if you want. Marca
  • rm33064
    rm33064 Posts: 270 Member
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    Don't give up. It sucks your family isn't supporting you but they're not making you eat. You didn't really have to go to the restaurant with them did you? You are an adult and if you need to put your foot down, then do it. You might take some extra ribbing from the fam for it but so what? It's your body, it's your goals that you're working for, and it's up to you to make the right choices that will get you there. If you really want this you'll find a way in spite of your situation, if not you'll keep finding excuses.
  • Laurh_89
    Laurh_89 Posts: 1
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    Don't give up! I know it's difficult. Honestly though, my biggest advice would be to avoid buffets all together. There is no moderation in buffets and often they arent even very tasty. It's a recipe for disaster 99% of the time. If your family wants to go, let them. tell them that you aren't willing to sacrifice your week of hard work. If they try to make you feel badly express to them how much it hurts that they can't support you. You can still eat out. Go to a restaurant that serves portions. When I go out I will try to look up whats on the menu that I like and gauge the calorie load. I NEVER go out and get salads. I eat salad at home. When I go out, I go out to splurge. But if i know ahead of time that the meal im ordering has 950 calories, I will order it and only eat half. Then I get to 'splurge' tomorrow too!
    Try to think short term goals. Today I will drink 8 glasses of water. today i will go for a fifteen minute walk. And REMEMBER that just because you gain weight one week does not mean that you have failed. Especially if you are working out 2 hours a day! It's likely that you are building muscle which weighs more than fat. So you're building muscle and becoming more dense, but every pound of muscle you have burns more fat! Eventually things will start to even out. Don't get discouraged by the scale.
    You need to remember that food=fuel. Binging on food is destructive just as binging on drugs or alcohol is. The only difference is how long it takes for food to ruin your life. Try to eat things that you enjoy, but do it in moderation. You should have a backup plan for whenever you are at home feeling like you need to binge. Knitting, a puzzle, playing solitaire, going for a short walk to clear your head, these are all things you could do instead of scarfing down loads of calories. Pick something you enjoy that causes you to zone out for a bit and any time your brain is screaming "BINGE!" immediately go and do that other thing.

    In the end its always going to be difficult. and maybe you'll find this encouraging and maybe not. but everyone on this blog is rooting for you! Its nice to have family members or friends who care, but they arent the most important. You are. and if you need support find it where its overflowing and drink it in.
  • NoraBlu
    NoraBlu Posts: 7
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    Please dont give up. You have achieved so much already. We all go through tough times but remember who you are inside and keep going. We all fall but its those that get back up that make it. Start again and take it slow. Be kind to yourself.
    You will be OK.
  • verptwerp
    verptwerp Posts: 3,659 Member
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    We've got to want it badly enough to change everything that's held us back. People give up because "it's too hard" ..... but if we hang in there, results will come ......

    Take responsibility ..... and best wishes :flowerforyou:
  • JessieSky
    JessieSky Posts: 79
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    I don't mean to sound harsh or unsympathetic (I get it! My family is obese but not interested in being healthier. They're not supportive) but honestly I think you will only succeed when you want/need it too badly to consider giving up. It has to come from a place inside you that is stronger than the desire to give up, the temptations from family or friends, etc. Yes, they're presenting you with opportunities to overeat, but you are the one taking them. Knowing full well that you shouldn't. You have to get to a point where that's no longer acceptable to you.
  • joehempel
    joehempel Posts: 1,761 Member
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    Sorry to sound like an *kitten*, but it sounds like you just don't want it.

    Take responsibility for your own actions and what you put in your mouth, I'm reading a bunch of excuses and no accountability on your part.

    I gained about 20lbs over the holidays last year, made a decision to lose it, and lost 21 so far since January to get back down to around 169-170. It's that simple.

    I go out with friends, the family will eat out and I will too, there are birthday's, celebrations etc. You learn to deal with those situations, and the people around you learn to deal with your decisions. It's ultimately your journey, not theirs. If you fail or give up, it's nobody's fault but yours.

    So tomorrow, start taking accountability for what you are doing, and just do it.
  • donyellemoniquex3
    donyellemoniquex3 Posts: 2,384 Member
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  • prattiger65
    prattiger65 Posts: 1,657 Member
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    Most things that are worthwhile are not easy. Most things that are easy are not worthwhile. It is your choice. Good luck.
  • Lizzy622
    Lizzy622 Posts: 3,705 Member
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    Stop DIETING.. Start living. We all have special occasions or events where we eat a bit more than we really should but it is part of life and living. Eat healthy 90% of the time and you should be able to survive the other 10%.
  • ninav1980
    ninav1980 Posts: 514 Member
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    Most things that are worthwhile are not easy. Most things that are easy are not worthwhile. It is your choice. Good luck.

    Agreed. Me personally, I sacrifice a lot in terms of socially eating out. Just this week I had to turn down an invite for pizza night AND a separate invite for a night at the movies. Why, because I didnt want to mess with my calories and work out schedule. I dont put myself in situations that will take me away from my routine. This is of course only until my goals have been met. I dont plan on doing this my entire life, but until I am where I want to be I know that I will have to sacrifice a little bit of my social life. I am ok with that because I know what my end result will be.
  • commtry
    commtry Posts: 20
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    Thank you everyone, it just feels like my effort goes to waste.
    I already have a hard time to stop myself from eating,
    so let's say I binge unintentionally for 2 days a week.
    Then another event comes around, and that takes another day from me.
    I'm down to gaining, instead of losing.
    It just keeps going back to where I started or worse most of the time.

    I'll definitely keep trying though, so thank you for your support.
    You didn't really have to go to the restaurant with them did you?

    Thank you. I wish I don't have to go to the restaurant with them.
    but that would be very mean of me, as they are already upset that I don't

    go out enough and stuff. Also, it was my graduation. WHich is why I suggested not to go out.
    you'll keep finding excuses.

    You are right.
    I always had the mentality of "Its just for today, so I'll eat a lot and get back to
    my diet tomorrow". But guess what, the same mentality gets me again the day after, and again, and again..
    Now, I finally realized it can't keep going like that.
    I know to succeed, it has to start now and not end tomorrow, but for a long-term.

    Yeah, I think its okay to get more in other days, like once a month/week or somethin.
    but 3-4 days a week??? I have no idea why our family became like this really.
    I used to remember only having a hotdog and rice. and each of us will take
    small servings, because only enough was cooked by my mom.
    But now, my mom cooks fit for a dozen of people, with 3 entrees every meal, for 4 people????
    This is most likely why I gained so much weight, when I used to never care for my weight, because there was never anything to lose.

    Anyways, I know its my graduation, so I could have let it go easy.
    but I can't, i just can't keep losing that momentum.
    AND, mother's day is next week,
    AND father's day is after that,
    AND my mom's birthday is coming up...
    AND we're going on a MONTH vacation to the Philippines(a food loving country)

    I wanted to skip the buffet to save those calories I could binge
    some other important day.
    It just seems hopeless.

    And oh, I am not the only one in a diet btw,
    my mom and sister also WANTS to lose weight, and guess what?
    In the buffet they both complained that they just ate too much too.
    so I really just don't get why we couldn't have gone there.
    my biggest advice would be to avoid buffets all together.
    I wish my family would understand it.

    Thank you.
    And to everyone, regarding the 2 hrs of workout. That is
    MOSTLY if not always, walking and running. pretty much burning 500 calories only.
    So i kinda doubt the muscle build up. I could only wish.

    I go to school, so yes I eat vegetables all the time, so I eat a LOT, because Im always hungry.
    Its mostly veggies and fruits.
  • AllOutof_Bubblegum
    AllOutof_Bubblegum Posts: 3,646 Member
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    Well, let's put it like this. Even if you binge twice per week, you'd still be taking 5 steps forward, and only two backwards. That is a hell of a lot better than 6-7 steps backwards per week.

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  • ajostraat
    ajostraat Posts: 101
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    Try to have open and full communications with your family. It sounds like there is a certain amount of guilt going along with your situation.

    Remind your family of your goals and what you want to achieve.
    If they persist...
    Tell them exactly how they are not helping you.

    Peer pressure, especially from family members who want you to induldge with them, is one of the hardest things to resist (imnsho).

    Good luck!

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