I quit therapy......

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capriqueen
capriqueen Posts: 974 Member
in Chit-Chat
because it did not help. I realize, that I have let demons take over me so much that I m not longer capable of being happy for long, and I let "distorted reality" take the place of any scrap of positivity very easily.

Today, I was called ugly, fat and a lot of other things. Why am I reacting to them? I am an adult in an educational field where looks are the last thing to matter. Am I so self-obsessed that I cannot stand it if someone spews some negativity?

I don't get it. I have let that person's comments take over me. It is moments like these that burst the little bubble I live in the days before it thinking I may not be so bad after all. Then something like this happens... and I realize that I was never worthy of attention. I have simply stopped accepting anything good about me, or that anyone, outside my family, would ever love me.

Your comments please.
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Replies

  • embrace_the_dark_side
    embrace_the_dark_side Posts: 236
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    It seems like you're dealing with a lot of issues. You really should get therapy.
  • missiontofitness
    missiontofitness Posts: 4,074 Member
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    You should consider finding a new therapist.

    If your therapy wasn't working with one person, it's possible to find someone new. Please do so, since it seems like you could benefit greatly by speaking to a professional about these feelings.
  • bd0027
    bd0027 Posts: 1,053 Member
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    I've felt similarly and found that attending church helped me feel better. If you're religious (well, even if you're not and are interested) perhaps you could try getting involved in a church? Either way, feel free to add me if you ever just want to talk. :heart:
  • scorpiophoenix
    scorpiophoenix Posts: 222 Member
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    It seems like you're dealing with a lot of issues. You really should get therapy.

    This. You seem really sweet and there are probably deep seated issues (that you may not even remember or consciously think about) at play. A good therapist can help you recognize the problem/s and give you the tools to better deal with it/them. The most important thing is to stick with it. My mom was doing really well in therapy until the guy she was seeing deployed and in the end it messed her up worse. Find someone you can stick with. *hugs* I'll be thinking happy thoughts for you.
  • capriqueen
    capriqueen Posts: 974 Member
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    Thank you everyone... I would look at therapy again, except it's a little too expensive for me. I am a graduate student right now.

    I just cannot believe someone would be so mean. But then, maybe they were just stating facts. I let people go because I believe everyone does not have to say nice things to make me feel better, some people will just state the truth.

    Thank you everyone for your kind words.
  • bd0027
    bd0027 Posts: 1,053 Member
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    Thank you everyone... I would look at therapy again, except it's a little too expensive for me. I am a graduate student right now.

    I just cannot believe someone would be so mean. But then, maybe they were just stating facts. I let people go because I believe everyone does not have to say nice things to make me feel better, some people will just state the truth.

    Thank you everyone for your kind words.

    I recently had someone tell me I was "stupid, fat, ugly, mean, and downright retarded" I laughed and continued on because I don't think any of those are true about myself. (if she would have called me a psycho, I might be a little upset since that's pretty accurate.)

    You've eventually got to come to a point where you love yourself enough that you'll be okay if someone else doesn't. It takes time, but once you get there you'll be so much happier.
  • missiontofitness
    missiontofitness Posts: 4,074 Member
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    Thank you everyone... I would look at therapy again, except it's a little too expensive for me. I am a graduate student right now.

    I just cannot believe someone would be so mean. But then, maybe they were just stating facts. I let people go because I believe everyone does not have to say nice things to make me feel better, some people will just state the truth.

    Thank you everyone for your kind words.

    Does your campus have an on-site counseling center? I know mine does, and it's free for all matriculated students.
  • scorpiophoenix
    scorpiophoenix Posts: 222 Member
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    Whenever anyone says something negative about you it's not a fact. Whenever someone says something positive it's not a fact either. It's their opinion and their opinion doesn't matter. Check and see if your campus has on-site counseling. :flowerforyou:
  • emilyisbonkers
    emilyisbonkers Posts: 373 Member
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    Stick with the therapy, sometimes it has to get worse before you push through and it gets better

    you got this :)
  • karmac0matic
    karmac0matic Posts: 285
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    there are a lot of centers where you can get therapy covered. i'm still under my parents insurance and they make a good amount of money yet i am 100% covered for my therapy without insurance even involved. a lot of places will gauge your situation and charge based on that. like, my sisters pays $5 per therapy session.
  • salembambi
    salembambi Posts: 5,585 Member
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    find a therapist you feel 100% comfortable with
    look into what mental health resources you have in your area that are free im sure there is something btw if you cant afford one right now :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

    do not give up just yet you obviously need the help and support :flowerforyou:
  • shishipangma
    shishipangma Posts: 3
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    So you have a little smart *kitten* talking **** to you, he/she doesn't know you. Keep your chin up, there is someone out there for you.
  • navygrrl
    navygrrl Posts: 517 Member
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    If it's not working for you, you might need a different therapist and/or a different type of therapy. Some people do great with talk therapy, and others don't. Definitely look into resources at your campus.

    I know it's easy to say not to let those comments affect you, and so hard to do in reality. Just keep at it. You are a person of great worth. Don't let the *kitten* get you down.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
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    because it did not help. I realize, that I have let demons take over me so much that I m not longer capable of being happy for long, and I let "distorted reality" take the place of any scrap of positivity very easily.

    Today, I was called ugly, fat and a lot of other things. Why am I reacting to them? I am an adult in an educational field where looks are the last thing to matter. Am I so self-obsessed that I cannot stand it if someone spews some negativity?

    I don't get it. I have let that person's comments take over me. It is moments like these that burst the little bubble I live in the days before it thinking I may not be so bad after all. Then something like this happens... and I realize that I was never worthy of attention. I have simply stopped accepting anything good about me, or that anyone, outside my family, would ever love me.

    Your comments please.


    I am happy to comment/help but I have a couple questions first...
    WHO called you those things?

    WHAT proceeded them calling you those things?

    WHY are you unable to simply view them as insults that could have been slewn at anyone?

    WHERE did this take place? Work? Your home? The gym? A friends house?

    WHEN was the fist time you heard insults like these? (Precisely these not just any other unrelated slurs.)
  • Oi_Sunshine
    Oi_Sunshine Posts: 819 Member
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    Whether or not something is true, it is rude to point out peoples flaws. A simple "What you said was rude and uncalled for." is all you need to say. You are stating a fact, without any emotional reaction. A sensible person would realize they were in the wrong and apologize, which you can graciously accept and forgive. If they become defensive and escalate the situation, it shows their negative nature and allows you to discern whether you wish to continue any contact with them.

    Being assertive takes practice and balance, but shows people clear boundaries of what you will and will not tolerate.
  • Forty6and2
    Forty6and2 Posts: 2,492 Member
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    I agree with the suggestion to look into your campus for therapy, if possible. Also, many places will charge you on a sliding scale--meaning that they will charge you based on income. I have looked into a few of these places and sometimes they charge as little as $5/session.

    If nothing else, your campus should have some sort of student support center wherein you can talk to somebody about getting a therapist. If you express to them what you just expressed to us, they will likely see the gravity in the situation and get you help.
  • BrainyBurro
    BrainyBurro Posts: 6,129 Member
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    because it did not help. I realize, that I have let demons take over me so much that I m not longer capable of being happy for long, and I let "distorted reality" take the place of any scrap of positivity very easily.

    Today, I was called ugly, fat and a lot of other things. Why am I reacting to them? I am an adult in an educational field where looks are the last thing to matter. Am I so self-obsessed that I cannot stand it if someone spews some negativity?

    I don't get it. I have let that person's comments take over me. It is moments like these that burst the little bubble I live in the days before it thinking I may not be so bad after all. Then something like this happens... and I realize that I was never worthy of attention. I have simply stopped accepting anything good about me, or that anyone, outside my family, would ever love me.

    Your comments please.

    some people get mad and lash out by pushing the buttons they know will get the reaction they want. if somebody called you fat and ugly and they know those are the buttons to push on you, understand that those words were a means to an end for that other person. they may not even consider you fat and ugly. but if they are the type that lashes out when angry, they will say those things simply because those work on you.

    when you stop seeing yourself as the cause for such comments and start looking at the motivations of the person making such comments, i think you might be able to ignore them more easily.
  • jan13whi
    jan13whi Posts: 2
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    Hi,

    I have recently been told that if I don't love myself how do I expect anyone else to love me. I took this on board this week and really tried to get back to the old happy, positive self. I've had a really brill week. Try and ignore what others say, which I appreciate is easier said then done.. Its what is on the inside that counts. Be good to yourself and try to stop beating yourself up. Take it from a golden oldie, people are a lot crueller these days then when I was a teenager.We lived to have fun, not destry each other, so go out there and have some fun.
  • rowlandsw
    rowlandsw Posts: 1,166 Member
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    The problem with therapy is like taking meds for issues, it's a matter of finding what works. My first therapist was no help nor was the second but the one i have now is good enough that i followed her from one office to another when she got a new job.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    Options
    because it did not help. I realize, that I have let demons take over me so much that I m not longer capable of being happy for long, and I let "distorted reality" take the place of any scrap of positivity very easily.

    Today, I was called ugly, fat and a lot of other things. Why am I reacting to them? I am an adult in an educational field where looks are the last thing to matter. Am I so self-obsessed that I cannot stand it if someone spews some negativity?

    I don't get it. I have let that person's comments take over me. It is moments like these that burst the little bubble I live in the days before it thinking I may not be so bad after all. Then something like this happens... and I realize that I was never worthy of attention. I have simply stopped accepting anything good about me, or that anyone, outside my family, would ever love me.

    Your comments please.

    some people get mad and lash out by pushing the buttons they know will get the reaction they want. if somebody called you fat and ugly and they know those are the buttons to push on you, understand that those words were a means to an end for that other person. they may not even consider you fat and ugly. but if they are the type that lashes out when angry, they will say those things simply because those work on you.

    when you stop seeing yourself as the cause for such comments and start looking at the motivations of the person making such comments, i think you might be able to ignore them more easily.

    those words have like a 99% success rate of hurting anyone. that's what makes them moot. or should.

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