Work in Progress... 31lbs. down, 67lbs. to go

Hi everyone,
I am lacking a little motivation so I decided to compare my before and after pictures so far. It’s only been 4 months since I started to actually give a crap about what I put in my body and my level of activity. I have been overweight all my life and an on and off again vegetarian. After Christmas 2013 I was looking at some pictures of myself and I cannot believe I let myself get like that. I have always dressed nice, wore make up and was generally a confident person to everyone’s perspective. What they do not realize is that I was just masking my self-hatred and sadness. The TRUTH is I have never really been happy. I was always the child that was there in the background, the one who observed but never really lived. This has really affected me in my adult life. While I am outgoing at my job ( I think because I have to be ( I’m an operating room nurse btw)), I lack the confidence in social situations and this is due to my weight. Being obese is such a ****ed up disease and yea I do call it a disease because it affects every aspect of a person’s life. It’s so much more than what you eat and how you move…. Being obese and weight loss in general is MENTAL! Even today, after I have lost 31 lbs. I don’t see any difference, even though I do feel different (I have more energy, increase in mobility), it all comes back to how I mentally feel about myself. I am scared because I feel the only way weight loss will stick is if I learn to love myself now… at this weight because if I can’t even now when I am thinner there will always be something that I don’t like about myself. I think that’s why when I lost 80lbs. 3 years ago it never stayed off because yea I was thinner but I was still very unhappy mentally. I am trying to take my weight loss journey differently. I am more interested in how things make me feel, not what I can and cannot do. While calorie counting does help me stay on track, I am more focused on quality rather than quantity. I would rather eat dense nutritious food than junk that share the same caloric value. Also, doing exercise that makes me happy is so important because going to the gym 3-5 times a week gets old. Any woo… this is just an update on me and if you would like to be a part of my weight loss journey please feel free to friend me. I really want to get to know people so we can better support each other. Thanks for reading : )