Attempted Failure :(

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bennettc2
bennettc2 Posts: 9 Member
in Motivation and Support
My name is Cassandra, I am 20 years old, and am apart of the "never will I ever have a flat stomach" group. I am currently around 165-168lbs, 5'5-6'. My beginning goal weight was 135 lbs, since I haven't been that size since before puberty, but my S/O and mom disagree and say 140-145. I am afraid that if I don't set my goal high, I wont get anywhere. I am one of those people who likes too aim high, so at least if i try my hardest, I will be closer to what I originally wanted than barely trying at all. Losing 30 lbs opposed to 20 pounds is a big incentive for me. I am afraid I will never be able to have enough self - control to lose 20-30 pounds over the next few months. I am currently in a relationship where my s/o eats poorly, rarely exercises, and doesn't gain weight. Where as, cutting out fast food/sugar/gluten and walking half an hour a day does wonders for me, since I gain weight easily. Whenever I start a diet, my s/o basically boohoo's, and eats all this junk in front of me (which is extremely hard, because food is my comfort/etc and I really love eating)...I feel like I need support, because everytime I get the self driven power to lose weight, I just quit after a few pounds being lost...I want to exercise daily, eat whole foods...consistently. Any suggestions? Support? :)

Also - a question - staying around 1200 calories for me a day is really good, which I usually eat no gluten/sugar/fastfood and stick to veggies,fruits, and occasionally chicken...if I did this consistently and walked 6 miles three times a week (jogging on and off throughout), how much weight will I most likely lose? And how fast? I know its hard but knowing where I can be opposed to where I am helps me a lot. Thanks :)

Replies

  • _Terrapin_
    _Terrapin_ Posts: 4,301 Member
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    How about looking at December and deciding where you want to be. It takes time, and time you have; it is going to take you time to figure out what works and what doesn't. My best advice is go slow, continue to challenge yourself, and you'll be amazed at the results. Best of luck.
  • bennettc2
    bennettc2 Posts: 9 Member
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    Thank you! What kind of examples do you do with planning in advance where you want to be and how you get there?
  • _HeartsOnFire_
    _HeartsOnFire_ Posts: 5,304 Member
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    You don't want to lose weight fast, it's not healthy and it's not sustainable.

    Neither is restricting your diet and cutting certain foods out. When you reach your goal are you going to just never eat those foods again?

    Read these:
    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1235566-so-you-re-new-here?hl=so+you're+new+here

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1080242-a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants


    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/974888-in-place-of-a-road-map-2k13

    TL:DR ->http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/975025-in-place-of-a-road-map-short-n-sweet

    If you have 75+ lbs to lose 2 lbs/week is ideal
    If you have 40-75 lbs to lose 1.5 lbs/week is ideal
    If you have 25-40 lbs to lose 1 lbs/week is ideal
    If you have 15 -25 lbs to lose 0.5 to 1.0 lbs/week is ideal
    If you have less than 15 lbs to lose 0.5 lbs/week is ideal
  • _Terrapin_
    _Terrapin_ Posts: 4,301 Member
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    Start with--REAL TALK--> the first pounds will come off easier then the last five to ten. The losing isn't linear; weeks will pass in plateaus but keep plugging away. Read as much as you can stand to about your diet, TDEE, BMR, cals in, cals out, and be patient. Also, as for planning, let it be a guide not a rule. Be flexible, forgive your one day a week OOPS OMG I ate _______. Just let it go and keep moving toward your goal. You'll be fine, trust me.
  • _HeartsOnFire_
    _HeartsOnFire_ Posts: 5,304 Member
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    Don't just rely on cardio, add a strength training program with it. Like New Rules of Lifting for Women, Starting Strength or Stronglifts 5x5
  • bennettc2
    bennettc2 Posts: 9 Member
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    Thank you, having a goal is different than a rule - very helpful, makes it more positive. I appreciate it!
  • bridgie101
    bridgie101 Posts: 817 Member
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    My name is Cassandra, I am 20 years old, and am apart of the "never will I ever have a flat stomach" group. I am currently around 165-168lbs, 5'5-6'. My beginning goal weight was 135 lbs, since I haven't been that size since before puberty, but my S/O and mom disagree and say 140-145. I am afraid that if I don't set my goal high, I wont get anywhere. I am one of those people who likes too aim high, so at least if i try my hardest, I will be closer to what I originally wanted than barely trying at all. Losing 30 lbs opposed to 20 pounds is a big incentive for me. I am afraid I will never be able to have enough self - control to lose 20-30 pounds over the next few months. I am currently in a relationship where my s/o eats poorly, rarely exercises, and doesn't gain weight. Where as, cutting out fast food/sugar/gluten and walking half an hour a day does wonders for me, since I gain weight easily. Whenever I start a diet, my s/o basically boohoo's, and eats all this junk in front of me (which is extremely hard, because food is my comfort/etc and I really love eating)...I feel like I need support, because everytime I get the self driven power to lose weight, I just quit after a few pounds being lost...I want to exercise daily, eat whole foods...consistently. Any suggestions? Support? :)

    Also - a question - staying around 1200 calories for me a day is really good, which I usually eat no gluten/sugar/fastfood and stick to veggies,fruits, and occasionally chicken...if I did this consistently and walked 6 miles three times a week (jogging on and off throughout), how much weight will I most likely lose? And how fast? I know its hard but knowing where I can be opposed to where I am helps me a lot. Thanks :)

    Wow. I can see the failure designed into the attempt. And you have a right to win. You have a right to succeed!

    go here.

    http://scoobysworkshop.com/accurate-calorie-calculator/

    fill that in. Do not try to lose more than 1lb a week.

    don't talk to your family, don't tell your s/o who I might suggest you offload, that person being a class A Jerk and not the most mature person i ever heard about.

    The rules of survival while dieting are

    (a) never tell anyone who thinks they can have an opinion, and who judges every thing you eat. This rules out MOST people IRL who cannot shut their silly cake holes on the flimsy pretext of 'trying to help'.
    (b) diet slowly. There is no magic planet on which you can lose a ton of weight fast and keep it off.
    (c) delayed gratification. It is better to expect to lose your weight in six months and at the end of those six months, to actually have lost it, than demand it be lost in 3 months and starve yourself to a point where your reflexes take over, dull your memory and force you to scoff. That way lies yoyo dieting.
  • bennettc2
    bennettc2 Posts: 9 Member
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    My name is Cassandra, I am 20 years old, and am apart of the "never will I ever have a flat stomach" group. I am currently around 165-168lbs, 5'5-6'. My beginning goal weight was 135 lbs, since I haven't been that size since before puberty, but my S/O and mom disagree and say 140-145. I am afraid that if I don't set my goal high, I wont get anywhere. I am one of those people who likes too aim high, so at least if i try my hardest, I will be closer to what I originally wanted than barely trying at all. Losing 30 lbs opposed to 20 pounds is a big incentive for me. I am afraid I will never be able to have enough self - control to lose 20-30 pounds over the next few months. I am currently in a relationship where my s/o eats poorly, rarely exercises, and doesn't gain weight. Where as, cutting out fast food/sugar/gluten and walking half an hour a day does wonders for me, since I gain weight easily. Whenever I start a diet, my s/o basically boohoo's, and eats all this junk in front of me (which is extremely hard, because food is my comfort/etc and I really love eating)...I feel like I need support, because everytime I get the self driven power to lose weight, I just quit after a few pounds being lost...I want to exercise daily, eat whole foods...consistently. Any suggestions? Support? :)

    Also - a question - staying around 1200 calories for me a day is really good, which I usually eat no gluten/sugar/fastfood and stick to veggies,fruits, and occasionally chicken...if I did this consistently and walked 6 miles three times a week (jogging on and off throughout), how much weight will I most likely lose? And how fast? I know its hard but knowing where I can be opposed to where I am helps me a lot. Thanks :)

    Wow. I can see the failure designed into the attempt. And you have a right to win. You have a right to succeed!

    go here.

    http://scoobysworkshop.com/accurate-calorie-calculator/

    fill that in. Do not try to lose more than 1lb a week.

    don't talk to your family, don't tell your s/o who I might suggest you offload, that person being a class A Jerk and not the most mature person i ever heard about.

    The rules of survival while dieting are

    (a) never tell anyone who thinks they can have an opinion, and who judges every thing you eat. This rules out MOST people IRL who cannot shut their silly cake holes on the flimsy pretext of 'trying to help'.
    (b) diet slowly. There is no magic planet on which you can lose a ton of weight fast and keep it off.
    (c) delayed gratification. It is better to expect to lose your weight in six months and at the end of those six months, to actually have lost it, than demand it be lost in 3 months and starve yourself to a point where your reflexes take over, dull your memory and force you to scoff. That way lies yoyo dieting.

    Thank you so much, I appreciate it :)
  • bridgie101
    bridgie101 Posts: 817 Member
    Options
    take care. :) it's tough being nineteen, there's a lot you have to think about.

    But I've just filled you in on scooby workshop and I'm getting a daily calorie quota of over 1700 cals a day that you should be eating.

    When you're young you get really really hungry. As I get older I get less hungry, thankfully. But at 19, going under 1700 cals a day is really hard to do long term. You can manage for a week or 2, but not long enough to lose 30lb.

    Slow and steady wins the race. :) I'm learning at 44 to take my own advice, be the tortoise not the hare, take it quietly and incorporate it into my life. One thing I'm learning that's really helpful is to lock in a certain breakfast so that it never changes and I don't have to think about it, and my tummy gets used to it.
  • bennettc2
    bennettc2 Posts: 9 Member
    Options
    Thank you, I agree with the tortoise thing...When I exercise and eat healthy I feel energetic and happier - crazy how things like that affect us...I'm going to cut out fast food and processed foods and start being healthy, training myself to think the right way :) thanks again xoxo
  • csy108
    csy108 Posts: 58 Member
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    My beginning goal weight was 135 lbs, since I haven't been that size since before puberty, but my S/O and mom disagree and say 140-145. I am afraid that if I don't set my goal high, I wont get anywhere. I am one of those people who likes too aim high, so at least if i try my hardest, I will be closer to what I originally wanted than barely trying at all. Losing 30 lbs opposed to 20 pounds is a big incentive for me. I am afraid I will never be able to have enough self - control to lose 20-30 pounds over the next few months.

    I'm 31 now and have been overweight since I was in about 2nd grade. Part of my reason for failing to ever get to a healthy weight is my extreme perfectionism and harsh opinion of myself when I can't do something perfectly. I would set unrealistic exercise or eating goals, then give up when I inevitably failed. Although I yo-yo'd with low-carb diets, I never educated myself about nutrition and calories and never kept a food diary.

    From my perspective, I envy your opportunity to do something sustainable and long-term to get to a healthy weight at the age of 20. I strongly, strongly urge you to set as your primary goal not "lose x pounds in x number of months" but target slow, sustainable fat loss (something like .5 pounds a week) while eating every single kind of food you will want to eat for the rest of your life, in moderation. If you love chips, cutting them out of your diet for a month, or two months, or six months, may work for that time, but you could very well overeat them in the future because you won't have learned what a reasonable quantity of them would be in the context of the rest of your daily meals. You may also have some emotional turmoil about "failing" by finally eating them again. In my life, this would create a snowball effect and result in overeating and gaining a lot of weight.

    Obviously, if you feel best by eliminating certain foods, I'm not telling you to eat something that makes you feel like crap. But I've always had a "diet mode" and "non-diet mode" mentality - that I would eliminate whole categories of foods I love while losing weight, then go back to non-diet mode and gain it all back. The only way that seems sustainable to me is to never eliminate any foods that you enjoy, but to weigh and log your planned meals, so you can create a calorie deficit no matter which foods you eat.
  • heatherfeather130
    heatherfeather130 Posts: 11 Member
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    Hi, you can add me if you like! I am 5'6' too. I weigh 183 right now and was about 135 right before puberty too. I would really love to be back in the 140s. My goal is to start implementing healthier habits and have a slow and steady weight lose journey. I figure even if I only lose 1/2 a pound a week that's 26 pounds in a year. That would be awesome! I want a lifestyle change. I have found through being marriage leading by example is much more effective than nagging. So just keep at it and maybe he'll see your progress eventually and join you. You can do it!
  • Vune
    Vune Posts: 673 Member
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    I'm just over 5'6" and my highest weight is where you currently are. I haven't seen that weight in awhile while. To echo everyone, it does take a while to lose the weight. And then you need to maintain it, so you might as well make that transition easy. Feel free to add me, since I've been there. I log every day.
  • AKNMHunt
    AKNMHunt Posts: 168 Member
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    I am only 5'3", but i am 165 looking to get to 140. I started at 183 last year, tried a bit, gained it back and started this tound at 175 5.5 weeks ago. I still eat my treats, tey to hit high protein numbers and work out 6-7 days a week (30 Day shred).

    Dont try to crash the scale, slow and steady wins the race. Figure out what works for you and will keep you wanting to go.

    Being sad over food and calorie restrictions wont make you want to keep pushing. You'll get angry and depressed about how you dont get what you like and binge. I did. I regretted it, changed my ways, and now I am happier for it.

    My 140 goal is for Christmas. Sure I can bust my *kitten*, restrict calories and be miserable, but I'd rather make slow, healthy, long term changes.

    Best of luck to you!!

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