deal with the "inbetween" until you reach your goal

I feel like this is the first time in my life im seripusly dieting and exercising to take better care of myself and its my life long goal to feel happy in and about myself........however......

Im just starting out on this journey and all I seem to be doing is thinking "well what I want to look like and what I look like now is so far apart its going to be impossible to get there and ill never be slim because its not me" now I know deep down this isnt true but I struggle to ever see myself at that point where im slim and confident. ........I think im destined to just be "fat"

Its a mentality thing I know and im sure if I just work hard ill see the pinds drop off and my attitude will change but does anyone else feel like that and how did you overcome it?

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Replies

  • 2dare2dream
    2dare2dream Posts: 104 Member
    Turning point for me was realising i would never be successful and stop self sabotaging Until i loved myself enough to realise " I AM WORTH IT".
  • PJPrimrose
    PJPrimrose Posts: 916 Member
    Nothing is truly accomplished without a plan and a goal. Figure out exactly what you want (at this point it's not set in stone forever and ever) and write it down! It will make what you are trying to do "real". The plan for getting there will get you through the tough spots and back up if you blow it a few times
  • Forty6and2
    Forty6and2 Posts: 2,492 Member
    Make the best of your inbetween time to figure out what you like doing in terms of exercise and re-learning how much you should be eating.

    The inbetween time is still a good time to be tracking progress, mostly by taking monthly measurements and full-body pictures to see how far you've come. You don't just see progress when you get to your goal weight, make sure you pay attention to the progress you make in the meantime.
  • WVmom24
    WVmom24 Posts: 266 Member
    One day at a time! Let's say a year from now is when you *could* meet your goal. That date will come whether you're on track or not. When it gets here...do you really wanna still be stuck at square one due to a lack of motivation? Hell no. Baby steps. Say you want to lose 10lbs a month....totally doable. Think "okay, in 3 months, I could weigh ____ (current weight minus 30lbs). Keeping those smaller short-term goals in mind helps make the long term goal seem more feasible. And when you reach those short-term goals, it gives you the added drive that you need!
  • WanderingPomme
    WanderingPomme Posts: 601 Member
    da-mo-166.jpg
  • PJPrimrose
    PJPrimrose Posts: 916 Member
    ^ I'm going to steal this! Good one!
  • MistyRose0424
    MistyRose0424 Posts: 114 Member
    Turning point for me was realising i would never be successful and stop self sabotaging Until i loved myself enough to realise " I AM WORTH IT".


    ^^^^^THIS DEFINITELY THIS^^^^^
  • zyxst
    zyxst Posts: 9,149 Member
    I feel like this all the time, so I can't offer advice on how not to. I read that most people do "get over" this feeling.
  • zoeysasha37
    zoeysasha37 Posts: 7,088 Member
    Hi there
    I used to feel the same way. I was always thinking about what I wanted to look like and how far I had to go. It was a terrible anxious feeling and I was never slim either. I was always the chubby girl. But once I really started seeing results, things eventually changed.
    Once I got to about a size 10 or so, I started feeling better about myself. Things kept improving so I guess it just takes time, well it did for me anyway. Now I'm in a size 4, and everything is different. I feel good about the way I look and it makes me want to continue my healthy lifestyle. Every day I wake up and look in the mirror, and I finally see the good instead of all the bad.
    Don't get me wrong, there's still many things I'd like to improve, but I'm happy with the way I look now and know that I can accomplish anything as long as I am willing to work for it.
    So I think, with time you will also start to see yourself in a different way. Just stick with it and the results will come :-)
  • ChristineRoze
    ChristineRoze Posts: 212 Member
    I feel low when i look at the parts of my body that i am disappointed with.. So lately i have been focusing on the good parts and trying to be positive and feel confident and it is really helping me keep going. I like to pretend i already have my dream body and it gives me a sense of excitment

    Maybe that could work for you too?
  • walk757
    walk757 Posts: 96 Member
    I would suggest smaller goals. I set my goal at 5 lbs at a time, see how I felt, made sure I was not starving myself, let myself have a treat day. Then reset based upon the outcome. I lost slowly but didn't want to burn out. Back again to take off a few lbs I gained last year.
  • IllustratedHistory
    IllustratedHistory Posts: 11 Member
    I found my attitude changed when I accepted that weight loss was going to take a long time, and that there was no quick fix. When I finally truly accepted that I wasn't going to have the body I wanted in 6 weeks, or even in 6 months, I stopped concentrating on the fact that I currently wasn't where I wanted to be and instead focused on the small changes. I found it to be incredibly uplifting and motivating to say "wow, I can tell I'm more toned than I was last week" rather than "I've been working out for a month and I'm still not down a full size." Focusing on the process of changing my lifestyle has been infinitely more rewarding than feeling totally consumed by the end result, and I have found it much more effective for my mental and physical health.
  • xxavia78
    xxavia78 Posts: 7 Member
    Hi. I feel exactly the same as you! I have set myself mini goals and so far have achieved each one. I've lost 24 lb since the end of January and thing that gets to me at the minute is that absolutely bugger all has noticed or said to me that I look slimmer. If people started commenting on it then it would make be believe I've lost something but at the mo it doesn't feel that way :-(
  • spacelump
    spacelump Posts: 233 Member
    I definitely have moments of wallowing (quite foolishly) in this state. It's kinda hard not to get bummed when you aren't always losing each week or you are just in that unfulfilling state of in between. I do little things to make myself feel good about my appearance which aren't necessarily weight related. I really think it's the small things paired with the weight loss that gives one a sense of confidence and satisfaction. (At least, it has been for me). It will subside, that much I can tell you.
  • newlisa2014
    newlisa2014 Posts: 25
    da-mo-166.jpg

    Love it!!!!
  • newlisa2014
    newlisa2014 Posts: 25
    I totally agree with the doing things that make you feel good that isnt related to losing weight.........scented bath, nice lotions little trwat here and there is good.......
  • newlisa2014
    newlisa2014 Posts: 25
    I found my attitude changed when I accepted that weight loss was going to take a long time, and that there was no quick fix. When I finally truly accepted that I wasn't going to have the body I wanted in 6 weeks, or even in 6 months, I stopped concentrating on the fact that I currently wasn't where I wanted to be and instead focused on the small changes. I found it to be incredibly uplifting and motivating to say "wow, I can tell I'm more toned than I was last week" rather than "I've been working out for a month and I'm still not down a full size." Focusing on the process of changing my lifestyle has been infinitely more rewarding than feeling totally consumed by the end result, and I have found it much more effective for my mental and physical health.

    This is very true........I need to focus on the here and now and know in a short while there will be a difference and thats what counts now........the rest will come in a few months etc
  • themommie
    themommie Posts: 5,033 Member
    Set small goals and just stick with it over time u will dtart to believe u can do it
  • ajcrusher
    ajcrusher Posts: 6 Member
    I agree with the others here who say to set small goals for yourself. And they don't have to be "I lost xx number of pounds. But a goal could be to start exercising or accurately logging each day. And relish in the feeling of meeting those goals, don't underplay them. I like cross stitching so when I meet a goal, I give myself a few hours of movie & stitching time. Once you develop the necessary habits, the weight will start coming off.
  • NenaC
    NenaC Posts: 21 Member
    How I can relate to your feelings! I have for most of my life struggled with self-confidence and road the roller coaster of weight issues. There was much abuse both physical and emotional as a child, but somehow through good friends, having two wonderful sons and finding the love of my life I slowly began to see a life that was worth living for me. I learned life is lived in the "in-between". I try to live in this day and make it my number goal to see the world as a place I live and how can I make it better. You are the sum total of who you think you are and if you are up on your feet breathing than there is a purpose for today. I just set my goal for today and when the waves of gray fog try to roll in (and they will because face it we all have an off day) I look to changing my activity immediately. For me just going outside for a walk about, digging in the dirt, call a friend, send the old fashion note to someone you love, read or listen to music. You are were wonderfully made and are very unique with talents and gifts that are unique to you!!! You matter in this big huge messed up world we all live in.

    Please excuse me if I have jumped up on the bandstand, but I feel I have earned the degree. I lost my sweetheart of 32 years, had to move, left dearest of friends and so I seek everyday ways to put joy and purpose into living. The pain and "that horrible gray fog" have been replaced with self evaluation, re-purposing and the goal to be in the moment. I have restarted my health plan. I had to put everything on hold during the illness of my love to care for his every need and my body and mind paid a price. I learned I can do things I once thought impossible and I am stronger than I once thought. I just want to be healthy. feel better and give back. Life is measured in the moments of the journey and it is how you spend those moments that make who you are. embrace yourself. You can do this!!! :flowerforyou:
  • wonderwoman234
    wonderwoman234 Posts: 551 Member
    da-mo-166.jpg

    I love this......
  • EllieBMackal
    EllieBMackal Posts: 116 Member
    yep! thats exactly and 150% me and the way i think
  • wonderwoman234
    wonderwoman234 Posts: 551 Member
    Also, I have a long view of this. I figure it will take me one year to get the body I want. In the meantime, I am focusing on the following:

    - adding more weight each week to my heavy lifting program and trying new strength training exercises
    - finding new cardio exercises that I enjoy to mix things up - just started spinning!
    - trying to reach my macro ratios every day....which takes some work and I only succeed maybe twice a week to get it spot on
    - making sure I eat enough throughout the day and that my workouts and recovery are properly fueled

    My old "diet" mentality would have been to drop as much weight as possible as quickly as possible, not even thinking about making sure not to lose a lot of muscle mass. I would deprive myself of things I liked, would feel guilty about eating, was obsessed with food (and what I couldn't have) and eventually would "fall off the wagon" because what I was doing was negative, self-loathing, and perfectionistic and unsustainable.

    This is probably the first true "lifestyle" change I've seriously made and I feel great! Oh....and there is no wagon!
  • toadg53
    toadg53 Posts: 302 Member
    Since I started on my weight loss journey last July I have lost a total of 104#. 85 of those I've lost while on MFP and 19 I lost before I started on here. I did it with a plan I got from my nutritional doctor. He wanted to see what I was eating, so I got a small tablet and kept track of what I ate, along with my journaling on MFP. I decided rather than looking at the "big picture" I would instead concentrate on losing 10% of my then current weight at a time. I would have to do that 7 times. At this point I have 2 times left to accomplish. I noticed that MFP tells you each day that you will be "X" amount in 5 weeks. So I started writing down each day, 5 weeks in advance, what MFP tells me what I would be if I continued eating/exercising as I was. And you know, THAT was a huge motivator for me. A lot of the time, I met or exceeded where MFP told me I would be. And if I ever got into the rut of thinking, Oh my God, how am I ever gonna do this ,.. I just looked those 5 weeks ahead and saw that, wow, I need to stay on track and YES I will do this. And yes, I have. So, it's just a thought. Maybe it could help you too. Good luck.
  • toadg53
    toadg53 Posts: 302 Member
    This is AWESOME !!! I luv it :bigsmile:
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    focus on your overall health, nutrition, and fitness rather than some number. Realize that these things are life long endeavors...you are never done. Reaching a healthy weight is just the beginning...it is not the finish line...it is actually just the starting line of a much longer race.

    Just try to be a little better today than you were yesterday and sleep well in the knowledge that you're going to rock it tomorrow...and so on and so forth into perpetuity.
  • lorocks61
    lorocks61 Posts: 15
    i focus on 10 pounds at a time. this has really helped. also more focussed on eating healthy to live instead of eating junk that will only hurt me.
  • knra_grl
    knra_grl Posts: 1,566 Member
    focus on your overall health, nutrition, and fitness rather than some number. Realize that these things are life long endeavors...you are never done. Reaching a healthy weight is just the beginning...it is not the finish line...it is actually just the starting line of a much longer race.

    Just try to be a little better today than you were yesterday and sleep well in the knowledge that you're going to rock it tomorrow...and so on and so forth into perpetuity.

    awesome advice

    enjoy your small victories - the end goal isn't necessarily the ultimate goal, your attitude and thoughts on the matter will change as you progress - every bit you lose along the way is part of your journey, you will enjoy the way your clothes fit better and eventually don't fit anymore, the way you feel when you eat healthier and start to exercise more, etc etc

    Also congrats on your loss so far!
  • Gramps251
    Gramps251 Posts: 738 Member
    I would suggest smaller goals. I set my goal at 5 lbs at a time, see how I felt, made sure I was not starving myself, let myself have a treat day. Then reset based upon the outcome. I lost slowly but didn't want to burn out. Back again to take off a few lbs I gained last year.

    This is the way I see it too. Even when I weigh in and am one pound down that is a small goal that is a foundation for my larger goal of being healthy. (I don't have a set weight I'm shooting for. I figure weight is only one aspect of being healthy)

    Best of luck and don't be impatient. You're not on a diet, you're changing your lifestyle.
  • KhatLady
    KhatLady Posts: 51 Member
    I am pretty big on paying more attention to and reminding myself of the successes. Numbers alone are deceptive, especially as a woman. There's weeks where I don't lose anything, there's weeks where I gain, and those are always a bummer no matter how much I feel like I'm rockin' it.

    So I remind myself that I'm still rockin' it. I'm not just sitting around moping, I'm actively working on improving myself. I take the time to notice "Hey! There's muscle under there now!" I remind myself of the little happy dance I did when I slipped into a tshirt that I hadn't worn in years rather than yanking on one of my husband's old shirts. I think about how running used to be a light jog to the kitchen when I forgot about something on the stove, and now I can actually run at a decent speed for an hour straight. I revel in how much "lighter" garbage and groceries are now that I've been strength training.

    The numbers on the scale can't take those moments or that progress away from me, I've already had them. They're mine forever. I just have to remember that and remind myself not to throw that away over something temporary, like current weight. As long as I choose to let those moments drive me, it's easy to keep working.

    There's a reason there's a billion quotes out there about life/success/etc being about the journey, not the destination. Every bit of progress is success, not just the end goal. It ALL counts.