Eating disorder

minusonali
minusonali Posts: 65
in Introduce Yourself
I have had an eating disorder since I was 14, it started with my mom calling me bloated, or fat. She never called me pretty or beautiful. For the last year, I got tried of letting my mother's words hurt me, so I started to ignore them. But today i got a taste of my past again, My mother pointed at my stomach and said it was bloated, I hate feeling so low. Now I am feeling lost, and sad. I don't want to give my mother that much power over me. I have done a lot to make her proud but never feel like she is. Today will be hard day!

Replies

  • shrcpr
    shrcpr Posts: 885 Member
    I'm so sorry you are going through that, especially from someone who should be loving and supportive instead of critical. Hang in there. You are beautiful!
  • sushidulces
    sushidulces Posts: 69 Member
    That's so very sad. Parents should lift their children up, not bring them down. First off, have you told her the harm she is inflicting upon you? Second, if you have and she still persists, spend little time around her. You can't subject yourself to that unhealthiness.


    Most of all, ignore her! You don't owe anyone your body, except you. What you look like, what you do to it... it's all you.
  • PatsyFitzpatrick
    PatsyFitzpatrick Posts: 335 Member
    Let know one take your joy. Not even the ones who we love. I do not believe your mom is trying to harm you. Many women look at areas of someone else life and comment when it is truly your mom's issue. Next time ask her what does she mean by bloat? Why does she need to comment on your tummy appearing bloated in her eyes? You are healthy and fit. Ask her if she is having issues with herself being bloated? I mean for you to show great concern for her health. Is she having pain or discomfort? Let her talk about it. My Mother n Law has real problems with diverticulitis and to her everyone needs an enema lol. But it is her projecting her illness on everyone else.

    You are truly beautiful and healthy no one can take that from you and unless you give them permission to.

    Patsy
  • minusonali
    minusonali Posts: 65
    Thanks everyone! I haven't told my mother, she really hasn't been there for me emotional. But thanks for your support.
  • ElaizaWaters
    ElaizaWaters Posts: 12 Member
    I 100% understand you. My mom is pretty same just she doesn`t say that i`m fat etc but she always complain that i dont have husband, that instead i nearly work on street...even if for very long time only relationships had with job...So i know how it hurts...especially when you need support...

    But nose up, there are many people who care of you. And you are beautiful not cuz you are slim, fat, sexy or rich but just cuz you are you...
  • minusonali
    minusonali Posts: 65
    Sorry to hear that! Nose up definitely! Thanks to all of you for the motivation.
  • flawwd
    flawwd Posts: 32 Member
    One way to deal with comments like that is to bounce them back!... By saying something like "And the reason you feel the need to say things like that to me is..." Pointedly and with a slight sarcastic edge. Or "Gee, that's not a helpful comment at all!"

    It takes away her power and most mothers are shocked into silence by any response back.

    A friend of mine just recently used this technique on her critical mother. She was taking her mom out for her birthday, her dad and boyfriend witnessing as well. Upon seeing her in the restaurant, her mom said... "C___, when are you going to do something about your hair!" My friend replied.."Mom, why ever would you chose to make that kind of comment when I'm taking you out for your birthday!" ( ..or any time for that matter) Her mom shut up and was pleasant for the rest of the evening.

    Take your power back! Good luck!!!
  • minusonali
    minusonali Posts: 65
    thanks! never thought about that. I will try this for sure
  • PatsyFitzpatrick
    PatsyFitzpatrick Posts: 335 Member
    One way to deal with comments like that is to bounce them back!... By saying something like "And the reason you feel the need to say things like that to me is..." Pointedly and with a slight sarcastic edge. Or "Gee, that's not a helpful comment at all!"

    It takes away her power and most mothers are shocked into silence by any response back.

    A friend of mine just recently used this technique on her critical mother. She was taking her mom out for her birthday, her dad and boyfriend witnessing as well. Upon seeing her in the restaurant, her mom said... "C___, when are you going to do something about your hair!" My friend replied.."Mom, why ever would you chose to make that kind of comment when I'm taking you out for your birthday!" ( ..or any time for that matter) Her mom shut up and was pleasant for the rest of the evening.

    This. Every time never back down. She made my point better than I said it myself.

    Take your power back! Good luck!!!

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