Social stupidity

AmishHoss · January 2011

I would like to start out by saying that I am writing this as a father, a husband, a brother, and a son. I can not express enough my level of frustration at the fact that while shopping today to get my eight year old daughter a few pairs of jeans, that I would have to either buy her a "plus" size or resort to getting her some type of stretch sweatpants that look like sleepwear. Now my daughter is not overweight by the doctors charts but in a sea of "skinny jeans" and "jeggings" she is made out to be not in the normal size range for her age. What has happened to us as a society? What happened to the short lived Dove commercials trying to promote a healthy self image for the young ladies in the world instead of this sickly perception of beauty that is pumped into the minds of our youth. It is revolting that "Gaunt is the new pretty" and we have no one to blame but our obsession to be whatever a certain designer feels beauty should look like from year to year. Are we as a whole so numb to reality that we can't see that we are slowly, emotionally killing our children because we give them impossible standards to live up to just so they can be accepted by their peers? It is nonsense and we promote it with every penny spent on these stupid styles.

It doesn't even stop there, why should my mother, or sister, or friends be made to feel left out when they can't buy the "cute" clothing because it isn't made in the size they need? I just don't understand why it is this way. If I take a picture of a flower, I can make that photo larger and smaller... the beauty of the photo doesn't change. Why is clothing different? I'm a realist, I understand that it takes more fabric to make large clothing, so charge a couple dollars more for it. You can't get clothing in some sizes because the designers and clothing companies don't want bigger people to promote their items! That is all it is, plain and simple... and it is disgusting to me. I love all of the special woman in my life and they are all beautiful to me regardless of their size and I for one will no longer be blinded as they are silently shamed by a society infected with a love for poor self image.

PoshTaush · January 2011

All I can say is simply , "Thank you...." Sincerely from my heart....

missyjane · January 2011

Wow! I couldn't have said it better myself.

edorice · January 2011

I have a 12 and 13 year old. For my 12 year old I had to switch from buying her girls size 16 to junior size 3. My 13 year old is wearing junior size 5-7. Both are tall for their ages. So it sounds like your daughter needs to start getting clothes from the junior section.

FitnessTim · January 2011

It is a shame that the media rarely portrays a normal healthy image for both men and women. However I think the body image with children swings both ways. While there is definitely pressure for young girls to look rail thin, the truth is that childhood obesity is at an all time high.

When I was a kid there was usually one kid in the class who was overweight. Typically they were given a nickname due to their size, like "Big Tom" or something like that. It wasn't done in a hateful way as we did not have the same level of social shame associated with being overweight that we do today. We did it like you would call someone with curly hair, "Curly".

Now we have a situation where more than half the kids are overweight. It is not only common but it is accepted. When I go to the mall with my family I see these kids with guts that would put my father's to shame. What the heck happened?

I don't know about your situation. You must live in a different part of the country where stick thin is in. Here obesity rules and if a kid even approaches a normal level they flaunt it like they are one of the Olsen twins. I don't remember the last time I saw a kid who was rail thin.

fatgirlinlove · January 2011

Well said! I prefer to shop in plus size stores (lane bryant, fashion bug, torrid) so that I don't have to look at manikin that looks hungry! I actually have a friend that lost 60 lbs (woot!) and was really upset that she could no longer shop in plus size stores, because despite her success, she was still 'plus size'in other stores. So thank you again, its good to hear it from a man!

smae1980 · January 2011

My question is have you shopped around? Many sizes vary from store to store and between brands. I've noticed a lot of "mall stores" have sizes that seem to run smaller. Have you tried Target? They have a lot of cute little girls clothes and I think there sizing runs pretty true for most of there brands. Also, try the next size up and have pants hemmed if you need to. Often children are smaller or larger than the clothing size their age would indicate, for example my three year old wears a size four and she is not overweight, just big for her age ( taller and bigger). Clothes are tricky no matter what age or sex they are made for because there is so much variation between sizing in different brands. Also please consider the fact that skinny jeans are meant to fit much tighter than regular jeans and some people just aren't comfortable in clothes made to fit that way no matter their size. Skinny jeans also don't really look good on all body types either whether they are a healthy weight or not. I recently had a hard time trying to find clothes in a JC Penney because the womens sizes were all too big for me but when I tried the juniors, all I could find were skinny jeans and I got frustrated because I don't like skinny jeans. Guess what I did? I went to a different store

fatgirlinlove · January 2011

@FitnessTim - childhood obesity has a lot to do with parents. Kids don't do the grocery shopping after all. I just spent a 3 months working in a high school, where the only healthy thing you could buy for lunch was a tiny apple. The rest was cake and cookies and chocolate milk. So not only do you have kids who have no control overwhat they eat, much less what it does to their bodies, you also pile on shame every time they watch TV. It took me until I was in college to realize that I had been at a healthy weight in high school! Now I sit with 100 lbs to lose, and pictures of a younger me, who was thin but not happy.

SunLove8 · January 2011

AmishHoss, I SO agree! You're an AWESOME father and your daughter is so lucky to have you as her dad. It's great that you are teaching her what is healthy thinking and body image and what is not. I understand your frusteration, for my own daughter has gone through the same thing her whole life. She always had a bigger frame and will never be "tiny" (she has gained some weight recently but the doctor and I believe it has mainly to do with hormones, and yes sometimes too many sweets), but she is built differently and I had to teach her that every body is different and she should love herself the way she was made, for she is beautiful. Keep teaching that daughter of yours all your wise knowledge, for she will love herself just the way she is...

tcam70455 · January 2011

Very well said. I teach middle school, and the girls who are not overweight, think they are. It is horrifying to see them dieting! (Yes, I talk to them to encourage healthier habits.) It is also a shame when a child is very overweight, and does not want to make any healthy choices or exercise. I have 3 boys between 11 and 15. They are all shaped very differently. The 15 year old shouted for joy when at 5 foot 8 inches tall he finally reached 100 pounds. The 13 year old and 11 year old are built more muscular, and if not active could easily become overweight. They both weigh over 100 pounds. They all eat about the same foods and are fairly active. It is hardest to buy for my 15 year old. Finding a size 28 waist and 30 length is difficult.
Your daughter and wife are blessed to have you!

Social stupidity

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