Autism mom stress, losing myself = my socks are too tight!

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Starhaven
Starhaven Posts: 9 Member
in Introduce Yourself
Can you relate?

I was never really fat - just thought I was! Now, at 42 with two little kids ages 5 and 7 one of whom has autism (and I sort of kind of always worry /stress about) I've:

-forgotten moderation and eat whatever I feel like
-stopped exercising (I used to train for half marathons)
-stopped any hobbies for myself (I used to be interesting and interested)
-found myself at 212! (5'7 which means I'm obese!!!???)

My socks feel tight! My bras are all too small. WTH? How did that happen?

But seriously, I really feel like the stress of worrying about my son is always like mental noise in the background keeping me from focusing on anything else. He's really awesome - a warm, gentle soul. But I still worry, you know? But I recognise this unhealthy lifestyle can't continue.

So, I've joined MFP and have journalled for 10 days in a row. I am getting outside and exercising again. Maybe I'll even find a hobby?

Replies

  • VastBreak
    VastBreak Posts: 322 Member
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    Glad you are here!

    You are going in the right direction of getting looser socks!!
  • amberflo143
    amberflo143 Posts: 94 Member
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    Great post. I know the feeling. I decided to be selfish and put myself first now, after being a mom for 8 years. I decided that my kids will understand if I leave them with my husband to go for a run. It was hard for me. I by no means have the stress you have but I was battling the feeling of bad mom. Do it for yourself first and who knows maybe the healthy lifestyle will be stress relief!
    Good luck and heres to loose socks!
  • Travko
    Travko Posts: 55 Member
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    Welcome Star! I think you'll find this site and community helpful. I certainly have.
  • TheThriftstorian
    TheThriftstorian Posts: 20 Member
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    Welcome, and you have definitely come to the right place.

    First of all, I just want to tell you that you shouldn't be so down on yourself. My little brother has autism, and I know it has wreaked havoc on my mother. Having a negative self-image won't help. Right now, you've taken steps to becoming a healthy, better you, and that's something to celebrate!

    Second, add some friends on here. Many of us love to comment and motivate each other to keep each other on the right track-- that way you can worry less about your socks, and feel better about yourself!

    Good luck!! xx
  • tenaciousdee78
    tenaciousdee78 Posts: 29 Member
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    It sounds like your doing all the right things now to help yourself loose the weight, exercise will help you to de-stress too
    Good luck to you :)
  • ritan7471
    ritan7471 Posts: 99 Member
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    Welcome! You're doing something very good for yourself by recognizing your issues.
    It will be healthier for your relationship with your son and your other child to take care of yourself, have your own interests and be your own person. My brother is developmentally disabled, and I think the best thing my mom did was raise us both to understand as well as we could that she is a separate person from us with her own needs, hobbies and dreams. She's a great mom and I think concentrating sometimes on what she needed gave her the energy and perspective to do her best by us.

    I hear you about the socks. Come on, really? My socks are tight too.

    I'm not a mom, but our stats are quite similar - feel free to add me!
  • ilenewilliams
    ilenewilliams Posts: 48 Member
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    I have a 12 year old son with Asperger's and I understand the worry and stress. I also know you need to do this for you. When you have time for yourself, it makes you a better mother and better able to deal with the emotional and physical toll of dealing with Autism! Stay strong and keep doing what you have started.
  • JenD1066
    JenD1066 Posts: 298 Member
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    I'm right there with you- I have a 12 year old boy with autism, and a four year old girl.
    It's next to impossible to go out with the two of them, since if my son has a meltdown I can't just pick them both up and haul them to the car.
    When I first started hitting the treadmill for two hours a day, I felt guilty. But then my blood pressure decreased significantly, and I realized that taking care of my health is as much for them as it is for me.
    Also, a good workout really helps with the stress and frustration.

    Sending you a friend request.
  • SunkissedBrownSugga
    SunkissedBrownSugga Posts: 64 Member
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    I have a nonverbal 10 yr old daughter and let me tell you. Your not alone. It felt like I was reading my own story minus the 200 pound part. I'm still trying to make it to that point. I'm 324. A young mom whom has lost the spark. I didn't even realize it until I spoke with my doctor today. I have ankle and leg swelling a lot so my grandma....(Gotta love putting on granny socks) :laugh: Gave me some diabetic socks to try. She said that they are breathable. There is a different they feel like they don't have elastic in them but they work to help encourage circulation. Try them you may like them. But they are about six bucks for one pair. I am glad that you joined my fitness pal. There are tons of encouraging people on the site and I wish you the absolute best of luck! Remember on those days that you feel down.....That one woman is trying to get down to my size. I had to remember this. There is always some striving to get to where I am. Good luck! :drinker:
  • MelanieMamaof5
    MelanieMamaof5 Posts: 75 Member
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    Good luck friend. :) As a mama of 5 (4 rambunctious boys and a precious baby girl) I understand the stress, losing ones self, etc. I haven't had a child with Autism but depression which has caused me to worry for him.

    Good job taking time for yourself. It will do EVERYONE some good in the long run.
  • aliakynes
    aliakynes Posts: 352 Member
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    I was you 4 years go, sedentary and obese. It was such a gradual process that most clothing just kind of stretched out with me until I was spilling out of my pants and couldn't pull them up anymore. My life just shifted into spending so much time taking care of everyone else that I forgot to take care of me too.

    But that was 4 years ago. I'm now healthy and fit. I rejoined to start a strength training program to help fix some muscle imbalance I got from running. Yep, was sedentary and now I run.

    I also have an autistic son which made it all the more important that he saw me taking care of myself. As I was the person who spends the most time with him, he has a tendency to emulate me.

    Anyway, friend request sent. Hang in there, you're on your way.
  • dawnna76
    dawnna76 Posts: 987 Member
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    You will find the support here, and you need to do it for you. I at first felt guilty but now I have learned I need this time when working out to forget about all my worries and just be in the moment. I have a 5 year old with autism and a 7 year with ADHD. My husband works out of town for 8 days and then come home for 6 so I am on my own a lot with my boys. Getting control of myself has opened up my world as I feel so much stronger and capable of taking on thier special needs to.
  • cranium853
    cranium853 Posts: 138 Member
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    How much weight did you lose with all that worrying? If it doesn't work, stop doing it. I used to (and sometimes still will) eat because I was angry with someone. I am setting a personal goal of slicing off a chunk of whomever I get mad at and eating that. At least one of us will be thinner. Maybe both if I don't like the jail food. If every time you start to worry you assign yourself ten sit-ups before the worrying is allowed to kick in, you will have a new hobby, too, and washboard abs.....
  • NanaBlast
    NanaBlast Posts: 3
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    I also have a 9 year old son with severe Autism. I understand the struggles. I can't go anywhere with my child and I'm stuck at home as well. I recently bought a treadmill to get me started on my weight loss journey, but I can't use it when he is around, otherwise he stops it or has a breakdown. My kid is an eloper, so every waking moment is about keeping him safe, and I forgot about taking care of myself. Good luck on the weight loss.
  • VastBreak
    VastBreak Posts: 322 Member
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    So how is it going???
  • momjulia101
    momjulia101 Posts: 17 Member
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    Hi! My youngest son has developmental delay and is on the spectrum as well. I actually typed in the word "autism" on the community search and found this post. I have been doing Myfitnesspal very on and off for the past year and it is time for me to start taking care of myself more as well. It is so hard!

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