Diet saboteurs...

There's really a simple solution for everyone who complains about "saboteurs". When they offer something you don't want to eat, be brutally honest.

"No thanks. I don't want to be fat."

And then stare at them.

They'll never push food on you again.

I'm gonna +1 this. I like it!

I'm gonna steal it :drinker:

Where are all these people getting friends that bully them all of the time about what they are eating and drinking? My friends don't usually care if I eat and drink the same as they do. And, my friendships are solid enough that if they do say something, I can say, "I love you, but STFU about it."

Look her in the eye, calmly say, "Please stop." and then hold her gaze for a little while longer. Then change the subject to something innocuous. Knitting, or sports, or home improvement or shoes. Repeat as necessary.

There will always be diet saboteurs in your life. You did the right thing by holding your ground and it may come to the point of cutting off the friend/relative for a while. Just tell them, "I love you and want to spend time with you, but not at the expense of my health journey. I don't expect you to join me, just respect me enough not to try and persuade me to cheat on my diet. It wouldn't be right to try to force a diabetic to eat sugar or an alcoholic to have a beer; trying to get me to consume something that I know is not in my calorie budget is equally not right. So if you are unable to keep yourself from trying to get me to eat more than I should, I will be forced to take a break from our relationship." Let them know the choice to continue the relationship is in their ability to stop harassing you and as sad as you will be to loose them for a while it is necessary to your health and you will be elated to resume the relationship when respect for each others limits is restored. We do this with time-outs for our children all the time. There is nothing wrong with giving ourselves a time-out as well.

If she is your friend she will support you when your making healthy choices -

It's never 'what' your doing but 'who' your with that is important!

So whether you are eating cake together or taking a walk with NO food - the point is that you are spending time together.

It's simple: tell her how it makes you feel when she's pushy about you eating and ask her not to attempt to control your diet ! Tell her you enjoy your time together and you care about her and PERHAPS you two should choose an activity that does NOT involve food.

If she gets upset then she is not your friend.

When I think I have a diet saboteur, I take out my mirror and take a long stare. Whose got the power? Oh. Me? Just checking

Always this.

There will be these people coming and going in your life. Sometimes it is family or people close to you. Sometimes it is "friends". If they are a true friend, they will want to see you without cake. Just sayin.

You can't tell others what they should or shouldn't do, it just won't lead to anything useful.

Try to find things to do with this friend that don't revolve around food.

As to why she insisted on buying 2 and trying to split the 2nd with you? Well probably not to sabotage you but to make herself feel better. She knew she didn't need 2, but felt like it was better to have 1 and then split the other with you. Kind of like she was trying to make you her enabler.

Do what is best for you. Sometimes that can mean having limited contact with friends, family that you feel make it harder to reach your goals.

I don't have much to add that hasn't already been said... but OP: Your profile picture is great.

All the time... Whenever I say no or explain it won't fit in my calorie allowance they have to tell me how they don't care they're happy how they are etc EXCUSE ME I'M NOT PREACHING, YOU EAT AWAY I SAID I DON'T WANT IT!