Seeking advice regarding Mother's Day

shirerose
shirerose Posts: 116 Member
in Chit-Chat
Hi... my husband's mother passed away last August. He was very close with her even while living on the opposite side of the country from her. She had been battling several illnesses for 12 years... so it wasn't a completely caught off guard thing when she died. It was still awful of course... and remains difficult for us both. Anyway... I'm just wondering if anyone has any advice about what I should do for him on Mother's Day? Should I just not mention anything? If you've lost a parent, what would you appreciate from your spouse on a day like that? Thank you to anyone who has advice. :)

Replies

  • lorigem
    lorigem Posts: 446 Member
    I can't relate but that must be incredibly tough. So sorry for your loss. (virtual hugs)
  • shirerose
    shirerose Posts: 116 Member
    I can't relate but that must be incredibly tough. So sorry for your loss. (virtual hugs)

    thank you so much. :) I really appreciate that.
  • Beckboo0912
    Beckboo0912 Posts: 447 Member
    Did she have a favorite tree? Or flower? My dad's mother passed away last year...so we bought her favorite tree and her favorite flowers and planted them outsidethe porch so when he sits on it he can remember her, he cried, which is super rare for him.
  • shirerose
    shirerose Posts: 116 Member
    Did she have a favorite tree? Or flower? My dad's mother passed away last year...so we bought her favorite tree and her favorite flowers and planted them outsidethe porch so when he sits on it he can remember her, he cried, which is super rare for him.

    i will ask him. this is a very good idea. :) thank you! he mentioned before that one of his favorite things that she cooked was mashed potatoes and meatloaf... so maybe i'll surprise him with that for dinner too.
  • AtticWindow
    AtticWindow Posts: 295 Member
    Definitely get him something more long-lasting and keepsake-y than something like a bouquet in a vase - although the favorite dinner is nice, too. I think a houseplant, a fountain, or something he can sit by, like another user suggested, is a great idea.
  • angf0679
    angf0679 Posts: 1,120 Member
    My mom things of memories of her mom on Mothers Day. I don't recall mom doing anything in particular on that day in particular for the first Mother's Day after her mom died. (It has been been 19 years so my memories of that time aren't super clear)
  • AtticWindow
    AtticWindow Posts: 295 Member
    Another thing that might be good, if you can do it in this timeframe, is a scrapbook with pictures of him and his mom, inspirational/moving quotes, etc. Just aim for something that is more celebration-of-life and long-lasting than something somber and finite.
  • skippygirlsmom
    skippygirlsmom Posts: 4,433 Member
    My Dad is passed, as a matter of fact it'll be 14 years next week. Until I met my boyfriend, who has children, Father's Day was just another to me. We now celebrate it with him.

    I think the tree idea is a lovely one. When Dad died the soccer team I coached came over with a dogwood (my favorite tree) and planted it in my yard. It meant the world to me that they took the time.
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  • wildrose53
    wildrose53 Posts: 1,342 Member
    My dad passed away 4.5 yrs ago after a very long illness. My family decided early on that we would celebrate his life on those special occasions, so on his birthday or father's day we made a point to get together and have dinner. We laugh and cry, but the important this is we talk about him.
  • shirerose
    shirerose Posts: 116 Member
    My dad passed away 4.5 yrs ago after a very long illness. My family decided early on that we would celebrate his life on those special occasions, so on his birthday or father's day we made a point to get together and have dinner. We laugh and cry, but the important this is we talk about him.

    thank you so much for this suggestion. we will definitely do this every year. she loved celebrating her marriage anniversary and the anniversary of when she first met her husband... i think we will include those days as well. :)
  • shirerose
    shirerose Posts: 116 Member
    My Dad is passed, as a matter of fact it'll be 14 years next week. Until I met my boyfriend, who has children, Father's Day was just another to me. We now celebrate it with him.

    I think the tree idea is a lovely one. When Dad died the soccer team I coached came over with a dogwood (my favorite tree) and planted it in my yard. It meant the world to me that they took the time.

    that is so sweet of the team to do that for you. i'm glad you have a boyfriend to celebrate with now too. :)
  • shirerose
    shirerose Posts: 116 Member
    thank you to everyone who responded! i have some wonderful ideas now... and i'm pretty certain my husband will love them all. <3

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