Rude comments from family

briggitte59
briggitte59 Posts: 52 Member
in Motivation and Support
Don't you just hate when people (specially family remembers) make comments about your diet. Even if they are meant as a joke. My sister and I were talking about what we were going to do today after work. And she said that she was going to grill out and make little sausages rolled up in bacon or something like that. And she was like "Well not you because all you eat are salads now" And I was just like WOW REALLY??? I tried to not react mad but I ended up getting mad at her. It's kind of sad/disappointing. I just don't know how to cope with that negativity. Like even if they don't mean it in a mean/rude way. It stills gets to me.

Replies

  • dcb518
    dcb518 Posts: 4
    think of it as a compliment, that you are taking great care of your self; your body will thank you... especially your arteries! Even if you were not working on a weight loss plan I hope you would stay away from those little piggies. :) (the sausages and bacon...not the family..LOL)
  • jellybeanhed313
    jellybeanhed313 Posts: 344 Member
    You could just tell her that you are working really hard to make a positive change in your life and you would appreciate if she skipped the negative comments, even when joking, becasue it makes you feel bad.
  • briggitte59
    briggitte59 Posts: 52 Member
    It's just that it's such a sensible topic, I would probably start crying right there. I want to be tough :frown:
  • StaciMarie1974
    StaciMarie1974 Posts: 4,138 Member
    Some people don't understand that you don't have to live on salad only in order to lose weight. Teach her by example. By being at family gatherings, and eating real food yet still staying true to what you need to do for yourself.
  • jellybeanhed313
    jellybeanhed313 Posts: 344 Member
    I know what you mean. I'm kinda that same way. Maybe write her a letter and give it to her. Sometimes that is easier than actually saying it. Just be honest and tell her you'd love her support.
    I didn't deal with negativity from my family, but I have from friends and coworkers. It took me quite a while to grow a thick skin and be strong enough to say that I'm doing what works for me and not let them bother me. I was so surprised to see that someone got fruit "just for me" at the last meeting I went to.
    Hang in there sweetie. It will be ok.
  • Josalinn
    Josalinn Posts: 1,066 Member
    It's just that it's such a sensitive topic, I would probably start crying right there. I want to be tough :frown:

    fixed it for you.

    I'm sorry about your sis. I would probably just say that was uncalled for and stare her down. But that isn't exactly nice either.

    I only have your word that it was meant as a joke. But maybe next time ask her to ask you if you would like something before assuming you will say no. There is a good possibility you can fit in a little sausage wrapped in bacon. Maybe not a gazillion but one or two.

    ETA: never mind...
  • spirytwynd
    spirytwynd Posts: 141 Member
    You are tough. You are tough enough to face your reality. You are tough enough to do something about it. You are tough enough to love her even though she, intentionally or otherwise, said something which hurt you. And it is a simple fact, the closer someone is to you, the more vulnerable you are to them, and the more their words can hurt. The positive, flip side is that such a vulnerability can build closeness, if you let it and use it in a positive way. Do what you need to do for yourself. Take care of yourself. Hang tough. You are worth it. :-)
  • MelsAuntie
    MelsAuntie Posts: 2,833 Member
    Huh? From family? Why aren't they being supportive? My family has never said anything negative about my weight, my diet, or my exercise. Come to think of it, neither has anyone else. It's sad to read all these threads about negativity and sabotage from family members, who should support you whatever you choose to do.
  • Capt_Apollo
    Capt_Apollo Posts: 9,026 Member
    so you got mad because she said you eat salads?

    man, i would hate to see you when she says something really mean.
  • SavinnaMarie
    SavinnaMarie Posts: 108 Member
    I can totally relate. I just posted a topic like this a few days ago. my sister brags a lot about unhealthy food specially mcdonald's and she sounds like she's taunting me or something. It's really really annoying and I try hard to contain myself and it works. I don't get why she does that. it's not like me trying to have a healthier lifestyle is affecting her in a negative way.

    I think the best thing to do is to tell her how you feel when she says those things in a nice way. if she doesn't stop, well you gotta ask her what her problem is with your healthy lifestyle.
  • theJTfitness
    theJTfitness Posts: 142 Member
    You tracking your diet obviously makes her self conscious about her own eating habits and she felt the need to make that remark. She probably assumes you only eat salads, fruits, veggies and chicken breasts. My family has this mind set. The other day, I had a donut and they all took it upon themselves to make snide remarks like "oh, I thought you were on a diet" or "you're cheating on your diet." It's just human nature and ignorance.

    Best way to deal with it is to let it roll off your back.
  • pkteen
    pkteen Posts: 121 Member
    You tracking your diet obviously makes her self conscious about her own eating habits and she felt the need to make that remark. She probably assumes you only eat salads, fruits, veggies and chicken breasts. My family has this mind set. The other day, I had a donut and they all took it upon themselves to make snide remarks like "oh, I thought you were on a diet" or "you're cheating on your diet." It's just human nature and ignorance.

    Best way to deal with it is to let it roll off your back.

    THIS
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
    Tell her how much you love bacon, go for a 5 mile run and then go eat all her sausage bacon wrapped goodness up and ask her how her diet is working out for her.

    PS bacon is fine- eat all the bacon- because it's delicious.
  • amgreenwell
    amgreenwell Posts: 1,267 Member
    You are tough, smart and working hard to get where you are. Don't let negativity get to you!! You deserve to be healthy and feel good.
    As I read this, while snacking on some cheese a co-worker walked by and said, "I didn't think you ATE cheese!!" I laughed and told her I eat every kind of cheese I can and want. I have to get my calcium someway and there is nothing I deprive myself of. She didn't say anything else (but she is always negative anyway, not matter what I'm eating or not eating).
    Just try to keep the negative people at arm's length. Maybe she'll pick up on your example
  • pseudomuffin
    pseudomuffin Posts: 1,058 Member
    You tracking your diet obviously makes her self conscious about her own eating habits and she felt the need to make that remark. She probably assumes you only eat salads, fruits, veggies and chicken breasts. My family has this mind set. The other day, I had a donut and they all took it upon themselves to make snide remarks like "oh, I thought you were on a diet" or "you're cheating on your diet." It's just human nature and ignorance.

    Best way to deal with it is to let it roll off your back.

    THIS

    +2

    Haters gonna hate.
  • JennyJ2015
    JennyJ2015 Posts: 154 Member
    its ok hun my sister says that to me all the time and gues what while shes sitting there at the buffets and resturants and eating junk im in the gym doing what i have to do just like you your doing great and so what all you eat is salads in time i bet your sis will want to only eat salads too :D

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