self sabotaging behavior

I don't know how to say this without sounding pseudo-intellectual (I am in no way a psychologist) but my theory is that it has a lot to do with the positive attention/conditional love that we received in our lives when we were losing weight/slimmer vs. the negative attention that we received when we were overweight. This self sabotage is like an unconscious challenge to those people who have complimented you, to see if they'd still like you or be nice to you if you were just as heavy as you were before.

I gained a lot of weight when I was married to my ex because I had a lot of (what I perceived at the time as) conditional love from my family based on my level of fitness as a chubby child--the weight gain, I think, was a challenge to him to see if he'd still love me as much if I gained weight, and the more he tried to get me to go to the gym or lose weight the harder I'd dig my heels in, and when I did lose weight it didn't take long to put it back on again. (We didn't split because of the weight gain, for what it's worth, he was an emotionally abusive jerk and an alcoholic.)

Maybe it's a self esteem/self worth issue. Maybe I'm just rambling But I think the best part of this post is that you've realized that you're sabotaging yourself! Being conscious of the behavior may help you to stop derailing your progress in the future.

i'm pretty sure i do it because i don't fully believe that i will succeed at this.. i have an overall attitude of expecting the worse so that i won't be disappointed. so i think it has a lot to do with my low esteem in regards to succeeding especially when it comes to my looks/weight. i think when i do sabotage myself, it's like i'm trying to set myself up for an inevitable failure. obviously this isn't healthy thinking, but i think the best thing to do is to recognize it, understand it will happen, but most importantly, pick yourself back up once it does happen and not let your self-defeating attitude win.

I have the same issue, but mine is due to boredom. I get bored with my workouts and that's when I lack the motivation to go to the gym. If I really enjoy the workout I'll stick with it, but if I don't lose weight quick enough with it, my mind says "screw this!" and I stop going for a bit. then I realize I have to work out in order to lose weight and I go back. I have steadily lost weight and kept it off for a year, but it is sllllooooowwwww because of this pattern I have. I lose 6 pounds, gain 3, lose 3, gain 2, lose 3, gain 2, lose 2, stay the same for a month....then lose 6 pounds again....so it's a steady loss on my chart, but you can see these small ups and downs in between the large losses.

However, I try and schedule 5K's or Trips or other things every few months to give me something to keep aiming for. I have a wedding to go to in June, so I'm hitting the gym picturing myself in my nice dress that I haven't worn in 4 years because it's a bit too small, and that keeps me going for a while. I have a 5K that I want to participate in, so I go back to the gym for 2 months solid to train. I have a beach vacation in 3 months, and I've already bought the two piece I want to wear, so I gotta lose another 10 lbs to wear it. Stuff like that helps me. I have to keep putting out new carrots in front of this horse in order to keep going!

Am I the only one who sabotages their healthy lifestyle as soon as people notice my weight loss and comment on how I am looking good (I have a long way to go to hit my goal) I start to eat more, stop going to the gym and slack on everything. I have gained about 5 pounds in the past 2 weeks because of this. I need to stop doing this to myself. As soon as I hit a goal (like 10% weight loss) I back slide into my old habits again. Need some motivation...What has helped anyone out there with similar issues? I hope I am not the only one.

Start thinking of the compliments as motivation to continue further.
Say you have compliments around the 10lb mark, and your goal is to lose 25lbs. Use that momentum to keep going to the 15lb mark. Try not to think of it as "ok..I look good. Let's go 1,000 cals over my daily goal". Think of it as motivation to keep moving forward to your final result.