Getting really frustrated

mikaselm
mikaselm Posts: 32
edited September 22 in Motivation and Support
The thing is, I 'm not getting frustrated with the diet, I only started counting on the second, and it hasn't had time to work yet, but 1200 calories is really HARD for me, and my boyfriend thinks it's hysterical. He thinks its soooo funny that what he's eating is my full daily allowance. I'm very serious about losing weight, and he's on my very last nerve. Anyone have any ideas as to how I can get him to take it more seriously? WE're a very light hearted couple, and we laugh about everything, but he's going way too far and making this much more difficult.

Replies

  • blankcanvas
    blankcanvas Posts: 177
    You'll have the last laugh when you stay strong and reach your goal:)
  • MammaEllis
    MammaEllis Posts: 59
    Maybe not discussing your calories with him would be a good idea for a while. One day soon, he will start to see changes in your body and have more respect for what you are doing. In the mean time, lean on us here at mfp for your support! Good luck to you on your new journey! You will rock this!!

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  • Loye2011
    Loye2011 Posts: 1 Member
    See/take his laughter as a motivation tool for you.
  • akainbabus
    akainbabus Posts: 1
    you have us here for support! start writing a blog about some of your frustations and see if that doesnt help take the edge off. maybe find a friend in town that wants to do similar things like eating well and working out...
  • dinacav
    dinacav Posts: 12
    I think it's important to remember that the 1200 calories is your net allowance. You should be eating more that that and exercising to counterbalance. With exercise, it's much more realistic. This is my fourth day and I think the amount I'm eating is pretty normal, but I'm picking better foods thanks to MFP.
  • jdigjudy
    jdigjudy Posts: 19
    I agree with MammaEllis - downplay the calories around him. Possibly the less you talk about it, the less chance he'll have to make fun of it. We're all in this together! Good luck!
  • DancingDreamer
    DancingDreamer Posts: 520
    welcome to the world of dieting when your BF is not. i really dont know what works because nothing i ever tried did. but i do have two things to say. is 1200 the number MFP set for you or is that the one you're trying to meet? because i dont suggest starting out at 1200, that seems way to drastic to me, working up to 1200 is much more feasable, maybe you should try that. and my second thing to say it, just ignore him, brush it off, i know its hard but you arent doing it for him you're doing it for you, remember that.
  • Ateamfosho
    Ateamfosho Posts: 9
    wow sorry but that really bad, me and my boyfriend make fun of each other, but he wouldnt make fun of that, he sounds pretty insenitive to be honest and you need to tell him that.
  • fasttrack27
    fasttrack27 Posts: 324
    How about just an honest serious statement - like what you just told us? Sometimes us guys need to be hit hard with a direct message to know ur serious. Or just no sex till he understands (lol)!
  • meggonkgonk
    meggonkgonk Posts: 2,066 Member
    Lady, WHY are you at 1200 cals?
  • Phoenyxtears
    Phoenyxtears Posts: 173
    I also agree with MammaEllis, and the blog is also a great idea. It's probably not the most healthy idea psychologically, but you could take your frustrations out on a punching bag.
  • mariabgood
    mariabgood Posts: 3 Member
    I second what dinacav says - if 1200 is too restrictive, consider tracking your exercise and eating your exercise calories. Also, you might reconsider limiting yourself to only 1200. That may be too radical for you, personally, to stick to at first. I know in our house, my partner has been aiming for 1200 and usually falls somewhere near it, but forgives herself if she's anywhere between 1200 and 1500. I, on the other hand, was anorexic from 14-28, so I shoot for 1500, and if I exercise, I make sure to eat those calories.
  • lilRicki
    lilRicki Posts: 4,555 Member
    My fiance did the same thing...after awhile he was really impressed that I have stuck to my goals and he's been a little more helpful. He is not on the band wagon mind you, but he is impressed that I'm losing inches and making good choices. I don't discuss anything with him though, he just rolls his eyes and tells me that he hates diets. No matter how many times I tell him I'm not on a diet lol. But when your boyfriend starts to see you shrink, and run circles around him, he'll appreciate the effort you're putting in. Just go on your merry way, no preaching, no stern warnings about heart attacks or diabetes...just do what you have to do...
  • jmbender4
    jmbender4 Posts: 21
    I think 1200 calories is too low to start. I think it is too low period. I prefer a slower weight lose that I can maintain without getting ravenous. I have been successful at about 1700 net calories. I kept the weight off for years and years (size 4). Then went back to work, got older, and stopped exercising (size, well it really doesn't matter).

    AND, when I started my initial weight lose endeavor almost 20 years ago, I had a boyfriend and he gave me a hard time re my weight, I lost the weight, and he is long since history.
  • AbbyLu
    AbbyLu Posts: 29
    Tell him exactly what you just told us! And if that doesn't work, just punch him in the gut next time he is eating something you can't eat. LOL ;) And if 1,200 is too difficult for right now, just cut back to 1,500 for the first 2 weeks and then try 1,200 again once you get the hang of it. It is hard, but we just have to keep telling ourselves it is worth it! You are worth it!!!
  • Geminieve24
    Geminieve24 Posts: 364 Member
    To be honest: If your man is not on board with your focus to lose weight, get rid of him! Sorry to say it so bluntly. My boyfriend and I are very serious about working out and eating healthy. For the both of us; we don't want to have someone we share our life with who doesn't want to live a healthier and better life, and to look better as people.
    And It's kinda hard and not fair for you when you are at the gym busting your butt everyday for two hours and eating healthy when your other half is eating junk food playing video games on the couch. It's a non-negotiable for me. The person I want to be with needs to have an overall healthy mindset and lifestyle. I want to look good, so my man needs to want the same thing for himself.

    If he needs to lose some pounds, make it something you guys can do together. Or show him pictures of how you want to look and what it's going to take for you to get there. Or make fun of him when you start losing weight and he hasn't!

    Or, just don't let him bother you. Take pride and show it when counting your calories and working out. Maybe he'll get on board. Hope I wasn't too blunt. Good luck!
  • Ateamfosho
    Ateamfosho Posts: 9
    Can I just say I agree with you 100%
    To be honest: If your man is not on board with your focus to lose weight, get rid of him! Sorry to say it so bluntly. My boyfriend and I are very serious about working out and eating healthy. For the both of us; we don't want to have someone we share our life with who doesn't want to live a healthier and better life, and to look better as people.
    And It's kinda hard and not fair for you when you are at the gym busting your butt everyday for two hours and eating healthy when your other half is eating junk food playing video games on the couch. It's a non-negotiable for me. The person I want to be with needs to have an overall healthy mindset and lifestyle. I want to look good, so my man needs to want the same thing for himself.

    If he needs to lose some pounds, make it something you guys can do together. Or show him pictures of how you want to look and what it's going to take for you to get there. Or make fun of him when you start losing weight and he hasn't!

    Or, just don't let him bother you. Take pride and show it when counting your calories and working out. Maybe he'll get on board. Hope I wasn't too blunt. Good luck!
  • booshananny
    booshananny Posts: 1
    1. Be honest with him and tell him that part of being a boyfriend is being supportive...if he doesnt respect that then he doesnt sound like the kind of guy a strong woman deserves.
    2. Use his taunts as added motivation. For me, the quickest way to get me to do something is to tell me I cant.
    3. Just remember, those Doritos he's narfin on wont look so good on his waistline come summer, and youll be rockin your new bod!
    4. Check out Bill Philips' Body for Life program....I got a bunch of recipes off the site last night to help me stay in the calorie range, and you get a cheat day! Ive set my cheat day for Sunday....all I have to do is make it through this week- thats not that long! I did it before to lose weight and it definitely made the diet change less torturous.
    5. There are simple ways you can sneak in added excercise to earn back some calories. You can do "commercial cardio" while watching TV, or take a brisk fifteen minute walk on your lunch break.

    Good luck :)
  • FitnessTim
    FitnessTim Posts: 234 Member
    Gettig family on board or just plain getting them to leave you alone is tough. You have to do what's right for you. In a way you are doing for them as well.
  • mikaselm
    mikaselm Posts: 32
    Thanks everyone!!! I really appreciate the feedback. To be more clear, 1200 is before any excersize, and I practice dance at least a little bit every day, so I usually end up with a lot more than that :D I think I might bump it up a little more, though. Anyway, my big motivator is that I used to dance professionally with a troupe in my college town, and since I've quit dancing I've gained a ton of weight and just feel really crappy, so until I'm back to being able to do the moves I used to be able to do, it's every day practice for me :D
  • chillyrodent
    chillyrodent Posts: 21
    Should your boyfriend lose a little weight, too? If so, your efforts may feel threatening to his status quo. Part of his brain (that he doesn't even realize exists) is telling him that if you lose weight, you will be hotter, will dump his fat butt, and will make other choices for yourself. It's not surprising that he is trying to sabotage your efforts (and sabotage is exactly what it is).

    I'm NOT suggesting you drop your efforts, or that you let him get away with this unacceptable behavior. Just knowing what could be going through his head may help you. You might just call him on it, or do whatever you need to, but this knowledge is for YOU.
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