I feel disgusting. I am disgusting.
JoMoMOMx3
Posts: 77
I just need someone to listen I guess.
We went with my mom and siblings to the park yesterday. my older (as in no longer living at home) brother was there, my younger bro and sis was there My kids. my husband. my step dad, mom...everyone. its rare that we all get together. the only one missing was my older (older than i) sister who lives out of state.
anyway. lots of pictures were taken. I avoided most of them until my brother decided to pull his phone out and taken THE MOST unflattering photo of me EVER. Not only am i fat and disgusting looking but my kid fell off the skate board ramp so i was running trying to catch her...it was horrible.he laughed and said "Now thats one for facebook!" I asked him not to. told him i didnt like it and that he was being an *kitten*. he posted it anyways.
i hate myself enough as it is. i avoid cameras. mirrors. anything shiny. i dont want to look at myself. much less have anyone else looking at me. and he posted the photo. i feel like he did it to make fun of me for the simple fact i politely asked him not to post it and why i was uncomfortable with it.
i busted out in tears when i saw it today.
happy mothers day JoMo. youre a disgusting fat *kitten*. And now the entire world can make fun of you right along with your step brother.
My husband and kids have this big dinner and desert planned out and i feel guilty even thinking about eating even a bite of it. after seeing that photo- i could sure stand to go a few days without food. much less the meal they have planned for tonight.
FML.
We went with my mom and siblings to the park yesterday. my older (as in no longer living at home) brother was there, my younger bro and sis was there My kids. my husband. my step dad, mom...everyone. its rare that we all get together. the only one missing was my older (older than i) sister who lives out of state.
anyway. lots of pictures were taken. I avoided most of them until my brother decided to pull his phone out and taken THE MOST unflattering photo of me EVER. Not only am i fat and disgusting looking but my kid fell off the skate board ramp so i was running trying to catch her...it was horrible.he laughed and said "Now thats one for facebook!" I asked him not to. told him i didnt like it and that he was being an *kitten*. he posted it anyways.
i hate myself enough as it is. i avoid cameras. mirrors. anything shiny. i dont want to look at myself. much less have anyone else looking at me. and he posted the photo. i feel like he did it to make fun of me for the simple fact i politely asked him not to post it and why i was uncomfortable with it.
i busted out in tears when i saw it today.
happy mothers day JoMo. youre a disgusting fat *kitten*. And now the entire world can make fun of you right along with your step brother.
My husband and kids have this big dinner and desert planned out and i feel guilty even thinking about eating even a bite of it. after seeing that photo- i could sure stand to go a few days without food. much less the meal they have planned for tonight.
FML.
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Replies
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Stop right there. Stop beating yourself up. It's not going to do you ANY good.
Read these:
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1235566-so-you-re-new-here?hl=so+you're+new+here
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1080242-a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/975025-in-place-of-a-road-map-short-n-sweet
If you have 75+ lbs to lose 2 lbs/week is ideal
If you have 40-75 lbs to lose 1.5 lbs/week is ideal
If you have 25-40 lbs to lose 1 lbs/week is ideal
If you have 15 -25 lbs to lose 0.5 to 1.0 lbs/week is ideal
If you have less than 15 lbs to lose 0.5 lbs/week is ideal
Want to lift heavy things?
http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2011/07/21/meet-staci-your-new-powerlifting-super-hero/
Stronglifts Summary
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/560459-stronglifts-5x5-summary
Stronglifts Womens Group
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/groups/0 -
If you are tagged, un tag it, and unapprove it from showing up on your wall, and make sure you hide the post. No one had your permission to post it, brother or not. Tell him to take it down, and be serious about it.
Further, if you are disgusting, then so is every other human out there. Seriously, we're all snot filled gross meat sacks. Every one of us. You don't get to be disgusted for being a worried mom. If anyone should be disgusted with yourself, it is your brother, for being a jerk.
If all else does fail, bring in your parents, or your grandparents. I find family members tend to listen to them a heck of a lot more.0 -
You just started. You have lost 2 pounds already. Your step brother was a jerk Go to dinner with your family. Enjoy the meal but if you are worried, go for moderation - skip the rolls, ask for sauce on the side and have a great day. Do not let someone else highjack your progress. No one here is going to make fun of you.0
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You can report that picture against your brother to the Facebook team, saying it was posted without your consent, and they will most likely remove it for you, as well as notify your brother of the repercussions of posting pictures against others' wishes.0
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I had this exact thought process after seeing pictures of myself at a wedding. I cried, I clicked out of the photo and I wished to never see it again. However, I did see it again. I saved it--to my computer, to my phone, I have it posted on a blog on MFP. Why? It's my motivation. I never want to look like that again, so I keep trying to progress with my weight loss.
Here is the picture. You can tell that I'm uncomfortable in the picture, the way I'm holding my arms to try to conceal my belly. Yeah, it ain't happening.
Follow the links and advice Gracie posted and use that picture as a motivator and then as a "before" picture to show how far you've come. :flowerforyou:0 -
I am so sorry that happened and I *know* how it feels to believe that you look like a disgusting mess, but just add the word "today" after that statement.
You may not like to look in the mirror--today--and may feel like a disgusting mess--today--but don't let your a-hole brother get to you.
I see from your join date that you just started this journey. In a few weeks or months you'll be able to see changes whereas he will still be a jerk. And if he's older than you and is a jerk at his age, then he will most likely be a jerk the rest of his life.
*You* can change--don't less the a$$hats bring you down! :drinker:0 -
You can report the photo and have it taken down when its a photo of yourself someone else posted. That is really mean of him to post it even though he knew it made you feel uncomfortable. I am so sorry! Just know that your weight doesn't define who you are as a person, not at all, and one day you will look back on that photo after you lose weight and become healthy and you will laugh, hopefully!
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You are slowly devaluing yourself..You look at yourself and you realize if you were judging yourself you would judge yourself unfavorably.. No matter what.. You cant pretend to be a hero of your story you cant....You HAVE to be the hero of your own story. you can do that you can be that...You can be the hero of your story that woke up today..You can be the hero in your own story at whatever age you maybe. Stopped got out of bed and said i'm not doing this anymore I'm doing this differently. I'm gonna figure this out and i'm gonna do it only by my instincts and only by my morals and ideals and my mind,and i'm gonna be dead honest with myself. because i'm realizing this won't last forever... You can do this...
People have to realize.that you are not your past..you are not all the times you messed up..thats not you..you are the person whose learned from a great deal of experiences and if you learn correctly and process that correctly you will succeed in whatever your goal you choose to follow..
Don't let this ruin your day... Its YOUR day... Happy Mothers Day....0 -
I just need someone to listen I guess.
We went with my mom and siblings to the park yesterday. my older (as in no longer living at home) brother was there, my younger bro and sis was there My kids. my husband. my step dad, mom...everyone. its rare that we all get together. the only one missing was my older (older than i) sister who lives out of state.
anyway. lots of pictures were taken. I avoided most of them until my brother decided to pull his phone out and taken THE MOST unflattering photo of me EVER. Not only am i fat and disgusting looking but my kid fell off the skate board ramp so i was running trying to catch her...it was horrible.he laughed and said "Now thats one for facebook!" I asked him not to. told him i didnt like it and that he was being an *kitten*. he posted it anyways.
i hate myself enough as it is. i avoid cameras. mirrors. anything shiny. i dont want to look at myself. much less have anyone else looking at me. and he posted the photo. i feel like he did it to make fun of me for the simple fact i politely asked him not to post it and why i was uncomfortable with it.
i busted out in tears when i saw it today.
happy mothers day JoMo. youre a disgusting fat *kitten*. And now the entire world can make fun of you right along with your step brother.
My husband and kids have this big dinner and desert planned out and i feel guilty even thinking about eating even a bite of it. after seeing that photo- i could sure stand to go a few days without food. much less the meal they have planned for tonight.
FML.
Quite frankly, I think utter disgust with the way we look or feel is a great motivator. Remember that feeling every time (EVERY TIME) you are tempted to put something into your mouth. Ask yourself the questions...Is this healthy? Can I make a better choice? Does it fit within my macros and/or calories? Sometimes (and I'm sure many can relate), I have put something in my mouth because I feel bad, sad, mad or just think I deserve it and it will make me feel better. It never does.
I saw a picture of me posted on facebook that my son lovingly took of me and posted (I was there when he took-I know what his motives were, as we talked about it) and I was so thoroughly exasperated with myself for letting myself look like that.
Today is Mother's Day. I asked my friend who is my person who holds me accountable if we could cut ourselves some slack since my hubby/sons planned a lovely brunch? The answer was a resounding "Nope." So that left me thinking what could be served at a lovely brunch that I would not mind eating? Guess what? I not only had a lovely, LOVELY meal, I still have almost 200 calories to play with, and I'm completely full! So, I say you can eat your meal tonight and beat yourself up over it, or you can be in control of what you put in your mouth...and go to bed feeling no guilt. That is the beauty of MFP. We are each on our own journey, and each only responsible for our own self. You get to choose what you do!
Here is to good health! :flowerforyou:0 -
Being overweight does not make you disgusting. Try to appreciate your body, it gave you precious children, you have arms to hug with, a brain to love with, there is nothing disgusting about it. I'm sure the people that matter the most to you in life do not look at you like you look at yourself.
If you don't want to be the size you are now you can do something about it, but it doesn't have to come from a place of hated and loathing.0 -
You are not disgusting!
Your brother is mean, unkind and juvenile. Brothers are like that. :grumble:
Enjoy the wonderful plans your family has made. They love you no matter what, just as you are. :flowerforyou:0 -
I had this exact thought process after seeing pictures of myself at a wedding. I cried, I clicked out of the photo and I wished to never see it again. However, I did see it again. I saved it--to my computer, to my phone, I have it posted on a blog on MFP. Why? It's my motivation. I never want to look like that again, so I keep trying to progress with my weight loss.
Here is the picture. You can tell that I'm uncomfortable in the picture, the way I'm holding my arms to try to conceal my belly. Yeah, it ain't happening.
Follow the links and advice Gracie posted and use that picture as a motivator and then as a "before" picture to show how far you've come. :flowerforyou:
THIS picture??
Wait...really?
I see nothing wrong with it in the slightest. You look pretty! Your hair is done nice, that's a pretty dress, and you are wearing a neutral expression.
Shall I post some just-rolled-out-of-bed photos of myself to make you feel better? You will know the true definition of "disgusting", then. Stop being so hard on yourself, as a brutally-honest person, I can say without shame or reservation that if I thought you looked terrible in that photo, I would have not hesitated to say so. But you look fine. You may be bigger than you like right now, but you are certainly not "disgusting", especially in this pic.0 -
Happy Mother's Day, JoMo. Keep up the good work, and don't let the b@stards get you down. :flowerforyou:0
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You are not disgusting.
Un-tag yourself from that photo on Facebook. If you don't want it on your wall it doesn't have to stay there.
Enjoy the rest of the weekend. It's Mother's Day!
Get on track tomorrow. Start logging calories and make sure you exercise most days of the week. Get up extra early to exercise if you need to. You need to build a pattern that will help you lose weight now and maintain once you reach your goal.
When the weight comes off, you will be so happy that you won't mind if someone takes a photo of you and posts it on Facebook. Think of the pic from yesterday as your "before" pic. Figure out a good body fat percentage goal for yourself and work toward building a great "after" pic so that by this time next year you will be much smaller. Next year you'll already be a lot smaller so by then you will mostly work on body shaping.
To be honest, I don't really like the pics that are taken of me, either. I do look better than I did before I stopped drinking soda but I am still not where I want to be. I don't un-tag myself but I think of the pics posted now as "before" pics and I know I will look better and better as more time passes, as long as I continue logging calories and exercising daily or almost daily.0 -
I'm the same way with Cameras I wont even let people take pictures of me around Christmas time and yet people still do it!
Your brother should feel horrible for doing this to you and I suggest taking action and contacting Facebook even if he is your brother.
Happy mothers day btw and I hope you feel a bit better
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-Jordan0 -
You are loved--look around you at your BF and children. You are not disgusting! My "prescription" is to tell yourself that in front of a mirror at least three times a day.
Your brother is insensitive. What brother isn't at times? You can have the picture removed. Tell him that either he takes it off or FB will remove it at your request when you report him for posting it against your wishes.
Sure, I'd be ticked too. But make him eat his words this time next year, when you're down several dress sizes. I'd use that picture as fuel for the fire it made inside me and literally run with it!0 -
I had this exact thought process after seeing pictures of myself at a wedding. I cried, I clicked out of the photo and I wished to never see it again. However, I did see it again. I saved it--to my computer, to my phone, I have it posted on a blog on MFP. Why? It's my motivation. I never want to look like that again, so I keep trying to progress with my weight loss.
Here is the picture. You can tell that I'm uncomfortable in the picture, the way I'm holding my arms to try to conceal my belly. Yeah, it ain't happening.
Follow the links and advice Gracie posted and use that picture as a motivator and then as a "before" picture to show how far you've come. :flowerforyou:
THIS picture??
Wait...really?
I see nothing wrong with it in the slightest. You look pretty! Your hair is done nice, that's a pretty dress, and you are wearing a neutral expression.
Shall I post some just-rolled-out-of-bed photos of myself to make you feel better? You will know the true definition of "disgusting", then. Stop being so hard on yourself, as a brutally-honest person, I can say without shame or reservation that if I thought you looked terrible in that photo, I would have not hesitated to say so. But you look fine. You may be bigger than you like right now, but you are certainly not "disgusting", especially in this pic.
Not the same person as OP...
Anyway...I know the feelings you have. I won't post or hang up my wedding pics because I see them and I want to cry. I am huge in them. My husband says I look beautiful in them, but all I see is a fat person next to a really handsome guy. It's painful. It really is. My dream is when I lose the weight, that we get married again...and I can wear a normal sized white dress and look like who I always wished I could be,
I hide from just about any camera, and I refuse pics. I feel where you are coming from, and you have my sympathy that this happened to you and from your own family to boot. That was uncalled for and rude of him to do so...I would get in touch with Facebook and take care of it. I think you should as well.0 -
LOL! You're disgusting...? HE'S disgusting. Posting photos of you without your permission, seriously that is just gross and wrong.
Btw I have TONS of unflattering photos taken of me, my friend posted photos of me giving her horse kisses and I look like I am either 6 months pregnant or severely bloated (Which I was neither in the photo)
https://scontent-b-ord.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/t1.0-9/1978692_10202812881259556_1934747289_n.jpg
https://scontent-b-ord.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-frc1/t1.0-9/1794729_10202812880019525_278806005_n.jpg
https://scontent-b-ord.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn2/t1.0-9/1782055_10202812879499512_1564221762_n.jpg
I really had things and in front pocket and recovering from a severe illness that made me gain weight into my stomach but alas I was definitely not happy with them being up on facebook. Embarrassed to say the least,
Please be rest assured that NOBODY looks good at every angle, it is literally impossible. Hence the saying "Did you get my good side?" and you were doing a motherly thing with one of your children, clearly looks wouldn't have been your top priority in that moment nor shouldn't and THAT is beautiful.
To heck with that guy, he sounds like an absolute *kitten*.0 -
Just own your feelings and allow them to do their thing.
If you really feel that way, you'll find a way to get the physical appearance you want.
That feeling will be with you day-in-and-day-out and it'll be the voice on your shoulder whispering advice to you.
There's nothing wrong with feeling like something is terribly wrong, but use that and transform that into getting it right.
I have a similar feeling. I HATE being single.
HATE it.
HATE.
That hate has been with me for over two years as I lost about 70lb so far and still counting.
And guess what?
I have a boyfriend now.
And someday, I'll have another family, and a husband and some kids, with a little house, a big garden, and a middle-class income. I'll wear a size 8 or 6 or 4, and live happily ever after.
Until then, I'm just above poverty level, over-weight, have a non-committed boyfriend and a dead end job.
But I hate that so so much, that it drives me away from it.
That hate of who I have become motivates me to just let the hunger bother me if I've had too many kcal.
It motivates me to go back to school and find a higher paying job.
That hate of being a 245lb single mom has led me to be a 180lb quasi-single mom, and will eventually lead me to being a 145, 127, 119lb happily married normal person.0 -
I know how you feel, I have told myself that I am disgusting so often in the past, most of us have felt like this. You are not disgusting, get that out of your head right now!!
Pictures can motivate you. Below is the one that motivated me to get started. Below that is one of me (on the left) a year later. Just because we are overweight does not make us disgusting. Please do not feel so badly about yourself. Go to the success stories on here and check other peoples pictures and stories, (We all have them) and see how they have changed their lives and believe me you can do it too.
Don't let a picture bring you down let it lift you up to a better place.
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I just wanted to say thank you to everyone for the kind words. i havent read every reply yet but ill come back to these after i get the kids in bed tonight!0
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OP, As I read this I'm in tears because I had the same thing happen to me only it was my birth brother that posted it to make fun of me for being overweight. Don't beat yourself up. You are not your weight. You are not defined by your weight. Follow the advice of Grace and don't look back..............Also, To all the people that have responded so far, you have given me back my faith in humanity. What understanding, kind words you have...Love and peace to you all. :flowerforyou:0
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I just need someone to listen I guess.
We went with my mom and siblings to the park yesterday. my older (as in no longer living at home) brother was there, my younger bro and sis was there My kids. my husband. my step dad, mom...everyone. its rare that we all get together. the only one missing was my older (older than i) sister who lives out of state.
anyway. lots of pictures were taken. I avoided most of them until my brother decided to pull his phone out and taken THE MOST unflattering photo of me EVER. Not only am i fat and disgusting looking but my kid fell off the skate board ramp so i was running trying to catch her...it was horrible.he laughed and said "Now thats one for facebook!" I asked him not to. told him i didnt like it and that he was being an *kitten*. he posted it anyways.
i hate myself enough as it is. i avoid cameras. mirrors. anything shiny. i dont want to look at myself. much less have anyone else looking at me. and he posted the photo. i feel like he did it to make fun of me for the simple fact i politely asked him not to post it and why i was uncomfortable with it.
i busted out in tears when i saw it today.
happy mothers day JoMo. youre a disgusting fat *kitten*. And now the entire world can make fun of you right along with your step brother.
My husband and kids have this big dinner and desert planned out and i feel guilty even thinking about eating even a bite of it. after seeing that photo- i could sure stand to go a few days without food. much less the meal they have planned for tonight.
FML.
Btw JoMo I suffered and am recovering from Anorexia and can tell you that restricting yourself of food because of you being unpleased with your weight is a totally awful and UNWARRANTED thing to do to yourself regardless of your weight! I do not care if you're 400 pounds or 40 pounds NO ONE deserves a rumbling belly and I am so utterly sorry that you feel that way. Please understand that you deserve food and nutrition, the food and nutrition that in this situation will help you lose weight but most importantly you deserve it because you are a human, a mother, a wife and a lovely person who deserves that food and nutrition to LIVE and sustain life. Take if from someone who restricted and completely cut herself off from food all together it is NO way to live.0 -
IMHO, Facebook, your brother, and your weight aren't the problem. Your self image and lack of self worth are. Instead of offering advice on how to untag images on Facebook I'm going to suggest that you find a therapist, counselor, priest, or support group and start talking thru the issues that you have with how you see yourself.0
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ETA:
NVM, i just saw the OP threw this grenade and is gonna be busy until bedtime.
Hopefully that means this was just a rant and she's going to be busy enjoying whatever her fam has planned.I just wanted to say thank you to everyone for the kind words. i havent read every reply yet but ill come back to these after i get the kids in bed tonight!
anyways TMI. for reals I dont' owe all these ppl my life story. *smh*0 -
Honestly, I agree w/ Dave. You don't know your brother-in-law's intentions. Could be totally innocent. It was an incident that no matter who was in the pic would have been posted to FB. Your friends & family look at you as YOU - a real person - not as you look at you. I know, I've been there. And and still trying to learn. You need to learn to love yourself inside & out. You ARE beautiful and families want to capture moments in pictures - in fun & love. :flowerforyou:0
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IMHO, Facebook, your brother, and your weight aren't the problem. Your self image and lack of self worth are. Instead of offering advice on how to untag images on Facebook I'm going to suggest that you find a therapist, counselor, priest, or support group and start talking thru the issues that you have with how you see yourself.
OP, I understand where you are...I've been there myself...which is why I am going to agree with Dav on this one. It really might help you a lot to seek counseling. Getting healthy isn't just a physical thing, but a mental one and this might be a way for you to achieve that second part of the equation 0 -
Being overweight does not make you disgusting. Try to appreciate your body, it gave you precious children, you have arms to hug with, a brain to love with, there is nothing disgusting about it. I'm sure the people that matter the most to you in life do not look at you like you look at yourself.
If you don't want to be the size you are now you can do something about it, but it doesn't have to come from a place of hated and loathing.
Bump...
You have value in who you are. Never forget that. They great thing about it, NO ONE can take that value away from you. Hang in there.0 -
I just wanna hug you. Seriously.
Firstly, do NOT let people make you feel like you're ever unworthy of love, affection or praise. Do NOT make them the reason you decide to get healthy or lose weight, it's a negative influence that won't help move you forward. But ultimately, do NOT let them ruin a wonderful gesture by family who love and care about you such as a meal on a special day like today. Do not let them make you feel like you need to starve yourself in order to fit their social standard.
I really hope you find some peace (and love) today. 0 -
You are not disgusting. You are not, you are not. I know this doesn't help, but you're not. You wouldn't say "You're disgusting" to someone else? Please don't say it to yourself, then.
I'm so sorry anyone did this to you, much less someone who's family. That breaks my heart.0
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