Afraid to gain after starting a new relationship

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Noamsh
Noamsh Posts: 79 Member
in Motivation and Support
Since August I've lost over 40 lbs and in the past couple of months I've been successfuly maintaining. Around the same time I went into maintenance I started dating someone, and I've noticed that as time goes by I feel as though I "care" less and less about my food intake. I've been eating out more, been drinking more often and it doesn't really matter to me how many calories I have left that day (a few days ago I actually decided that a bacon cheeseburger + fries were a good idea when I only had about 500 calories left!).
It might not even be just because of him, it might also be the fact that I'm trying to figure out how maintanence works for me, but I doubt it.
I haven't gained anything yet, since most days I eat at or under my goal, but I know that many people say that they've gained weight when they were in a relationship. I've been single for years, so being in a relationship is quite new to me, therefore I just wanted to know if anyone has any advice for me regarding how to not lose track after I've been doing so well for almost 10 months now.
Thank you in advance! =]

Replies

  • Noamsh
    Noamsh Posts: 79 Member
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    Bump. :blushing:
  • ChaplainHeavin
    ChaplainHeavin Posts: 426 Member
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    Since August I've lost over 40 lbs and in the past couple of months I've been successfuly maintaining. Around the same time I went into maintenance I started dating someone, and I've noticed that as time goes by I feel as though I "care" less and less about my food intake. I've been eating out more, been drinking more often and it doesn't really matter to me how many calories I have left that day (a few days ago I actually decided that a bacon cheeseburger + fries were a good idea when I only had about 500 calories left!).
    It might not even be just because of him, it might also be the fact that I'm trying to figure out how maintanence works for me, but I doubt it.
    I haven't gained anything yet, since most days I eat at or under my goal, but I know that many people say that they've gained weight when they were in a relationship. I've been single for years, so being in a relationship is quite new to me, therefore I just wanted to know if anyone has any advice for me regarding how to not lose track after I've been doing so well for almost 10 months now.
    Thank you in advance! =]

    Just remind yourself how you looked and felt last August.
  • Shan_Lindsay
    Shan_Lindsay Posts: 60 Member
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    People tend to gain a bit of weight in new relationships because they tend to eat our more, etc.

    Try and choose healthier options whenever possible, try other drinks or no drinking, and keep exercising a priority!
  • Branstin
    Branstin Posts: 2,320 Member
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    Set a day to eat at your maintenance calories level from time to time.
  • kgeiger141
    kgeiger141 Posts: 78 Member
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    I lost 32 pounds before meeting my current boyfriend and maintained for about six months into our relationship. It was in winter I faultered and over the fall/winter I had gained back 14 pounds. Since then, I have started back up and lost three, but it made me really think about why I reverted back and gained so much weight.

    In the end, I talked to him about it and asked him to push me to workout (even if I dont want to!) and to eat healthy with me and albeit force me to eat healthy with him. He supports me in everything I do, but I think the main reason I gained weight, was becuase he always said no matter what that I looked beautiful and wonderful., etc. It was WONDERFUL and he was so lovely and perfect, but it was de-motivating me to eat healthy and working out! I just kind of had to realize that, yes, he thinks I look great no matter what, but I want to look good for me and be healthy! :) And he is so supportive of anything and everything I do.

    Biggest thing to remember, just be motivated for yourself. It's okay to have a cheat day, but dont get in too deep, because it can be hard to get out once you get too many cheat days in! And just make sure he is supportive of you staying healthy and encourages you in a kind and loving manner to keep it up!!
  • AdventureFreak
    AdventureFreak Posts: 236 Member
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    ride bikes to eat out, eat at home then go see a movie instead of eat out, share a meal while eating out, do exercise (like hiking) together as a date, and do activities for dates instead of eating out like bowling or mini golf.
  • denizfindigi
    denizfindigi Posts: 41
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    I believe that it is natural to gain some weight when you start a relationship because I believe food is a way we communicate with each other from time to time and as two people experience the presence of another they also experience food all over again.!!

    First, do not bother yourself a lot about it - if you are going to gain a little bit of weight I believe that it is okay and what matters right now is you focusing on your relationship. That being said decide on a limit for yourself and once you hit it promise to go back to the weight you feel the most comfortable at.

    Wish you the best of luck!
  • PJPrimrose
    PJPrimrose Posts: 916 Member
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    Plan. Decide what you are going to eat before you go. Don't go to a restaurant famished. Eat at least an apple or something else low cal and filling before you leave. This will help you resist going over your calories.
  • Pretty_vacant
    Pretty_vacant Posts: 3
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    There's some great advice here, to which I would add: really keep track of your weight - that is, weigh yourself once a week (on the same day, time of day, on an empty stomach etc). That way, if you put on one or two pounds, you can catch it immediately and easily lose it the next week by dropping calorie intake, so the pounds never have a chance to pile up. Also, make trade-offs, so instead of beating yourself up because you had fun and enjoyed a meal out, just make sure that one day that week you do an extra workout or reduce your calories.
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
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    A bacon cheeseburger and fries do sound good.
  • Chezzie84
    Chezzie84 Posts: 873 Member
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    I think as women, we are conditioned to believe that men want slim women. So while single, we strive to get a man by losing weight.
    Personally, I was going swimming every morning before work and the gym 3x a week after.
    I was 154lb
    when I met Chris, then after numerous takeaways, nights in the pub, chocolate in front of the tv and basically getting comfortable I piled on the pounds and topped the scales at 214lb.
    He doesn't mind, he loves me for who I am but after 3 years I now mind and I care.

    My advise to you is go with the flow, enjoy the new relationship feeling. But try to do something other than eat =)
  • SonicDeathMonkey80
    SonicDeathMonkey80 Posts: 4,489 Member
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    If it's meant to be, then he'll love you if you get fat. And you should, just to verify his feelings for you. Then post a "sweating for the wedding" thread, followed up with a "my husband hates my weight loss" or "he sabotages me."

    This is the MFP circle of life right here.
  • cadaver0usb0nes
    cadaver0usb0nes Posts: 151 Member
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    Its okay to have a cheat day once in awhile, but remember you still need to make healthy choices when eating at home and eating out. Go on walks together, go hiking, bowling etc. Don't always go out to dinner or out for drinks for your dates. Let him know you are into being healthy and fit, and just remember how hard you worked to lose weight. As long as you don't eat cheeseburgers and fries every day you will be ok. But its about a lifestyle change really to keep the weight off.
  • Noamsh
    Noamsh Posts: 79 Member
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    Thank you all! You gave me some really great tips! :flowerforyou:

    With that said, a few things:
    ride bikes to eat out, eat at home then go see a movie instead of eat out, share a meal while eating out, do exercise (like hiking) together as a date
    Some of these aren't plausible for me since we live at driving distance, not biking distance, plus I'm not a very outdoorsy kind of person and rather do my workouts at home lol.. Also, we're both very very busy therefore daytime activities aren't really on the table. Oh, and sharing a meal? He's a guy, it's like his stomach is bottomless!
    First, do not bother yourself a lot about it - if you are going to gain a little bit of weight I believe that it is okay and what matters right now is you focusing on your relationship
    I'm not fond of this approach, my relaionship is not my entire life and I lost weight for myself, not for any man. So letting all my hard work go down the drain is not an option for me. Besides, a couple of lbs can turn into 20 in no time, so I'd like to avoid gaining even those first few ones.
    A bacon cheeseburger and fries do sound good.
    Yep. It was soooooooo good! :tongue:
    If it's meant to be, then he'll love you if you get fat. And you should, just to verify his feelings for you. Then post a "sweating for the wedding" thread, followed up with a "my husband hates my weight loss" or "he sabotages me."

    This is the MFP circle of life right here.
    LOL! This seriously made me laugh! =]
    Btw, I know he would still be attracted to me if I'll get fat since we've known eachother for years and he knows how I used to look like, and was attracted to me back then too. Nothing ever happened between us until recently because the timing was never right (sounds like bulls***, I know, but it's true). But still in the back of my mind there's always this little voice saying "He didn't want you until you were skinny and he will not want you anymore if you'll get fat again!!!!!!".

    Again, thank you so much everyone! =]
  • bunbunzee44
    bunbunzee44 Posts: 592 Member
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    personally, didn't gain any weight in a relation ship UNTIL we moved in together and started to party a lot. he's eating habits are so different from mine and his portions are bigger, it took me a while to adjust them again. but as a result, I'm eating better than ever and working out ^^ probably wouldn't have got around those without meeting him and gaining that extra weight :)
    I say don't worry about it too much. :P You've done well so far, and you probably know that you can't have your delicious bacon burgers and fries every time you go out x3
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
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    If it's meant to be, then he'll love you if you get fat. And you should, just to verify his feelings for you. Then post a "sweating for the wedding" thread, followed up with a "my husband hates my weight loss" or "he sabotages me."

    This is the MFP circle of life right here.

    LOL you forgot "Halp! i need to lose all this weight that is my baby's fault" and "I can eat a tic tac and still breastfeed right?"

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