I just keep failing

naj609
naj609 Posts: 18 Member
Yesterday, I saw a pic of myself & my almost 5 year old, I looked HUGE. My child could tell something was wrong, so I was honest, explained that I need to lose weight. What really hit me, she agreed :( I started this weightloss journey 5 years ago & keep yo- yoing! What do I do today, binge! I have awesome support at home, so what's my deal!?!

Anyone else overcome this?

Replies

  • negator5543
    negator5543 Posts: 36
    Are you logging your calories for everything you eat?

    If so are you doing it before or after you eat it?

    It's a lot harder to break your budget when you count how many calories you're about to spend before you've eaten them.
  • What do you think your biggest problem is? Is it lack of motivation to exercise, not having good recipes?

    Personally, and this is just my $0.02 (for what it's worth), I think one of the best things you can do is show your child that you are dedicated to being active and preparing healthy meals, and not focused on reaching a certain number on the scale.
  • MissAnjy
    MissAnjy Posts: 2,480 Member
    you're only failing if you're quitting.......otherwise, you're progressing, albeit it might be slow, but changing none the less.

    Just keep going.
  • afortunatedragon
    afortunatedragon Posts: 329 Member
    I think, a little more information is needed here.
    Does the failure is more physical or psychological?
    What do you eat, do you do some exercise?
    Do you have a goal?
    Many questions.
    Any advise is a shoot into the blue
  • naj609
    naj609 Posts: 18 Member
    Not being consistant is my biggest flaw, I think. I cook nightly, but no, I don't always track. I have a gym in my home, but slip from my daily workout routine after a few weeks. Thank you for the responses!
  • auddii
    auddii Posts: 15,357 Member
    Don't try too much all at once. Start with your diet, and add exercise as you're able. You can even start with just walking.

    For the food: don't label foods "bad" and avoid eating them. Usually, that will cause cravings, you "fall off the wagon", and then just keep giving up because it's not working. Instead, try eating the foods that you enjoy, but adding in fruits, veggies, and other lower calorie items and eat smaller portions. For example, on pizza night, have two slices and a salad (or whatever you prefer) instead of 4 or 5 slices (I could put down a large pizza if I put my heart into it).

    Don't try a drastic reduction in calories. You may lose weight faster, but there is a good chance it's more likely muscle that you're losing, and often rapid weight loss is not easy to maintain. Again, you're more likely to fail. Instead, eat at a moderate deficit.

    Here are some great links to read:
    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1080242-a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1235566-so-you-re-new-here
  • Becoming_A_Butterfly
    Becoming_A_Butterfly Posts: 2,534 Member
    Yes, I struggled for years before getting on track for good. I also have a great support system at home, so I had no excuses, just me getting in my own way.

    When the new year approached and I realized I had let another go by, still overweight, I thought to myself that I could honestly go my whole life without losing this weight, and that scared me. I started setting a mini-goal each week and then focusing only on that, not on all of the weight I have to lose. For example, I would set a goal of losing 1 or 2 pounds that week, then focus on that: logging my food, working out, everything I needed to do to lose that 1 or 2 pounds. Looking at the big picture was just demoralizing and frustrating to me.

    I am over halfway to my goal weight now, and I am still using this mini-goal method to get me there.
  • MyOwnSunshine
    MyOwnSunshine Posts: 1,312 Member
    I found the book "The Power of Habit" very helpful in understanding why I keep doing the things I do and how to work on making permanent changes in my life. I would highly recommend it to anyone who struggles with making changes in any aspect of their lives (you can also get the Audiobook version and listen while you're working out).

    I have also learned that I am, and always will be, a compulsive eater and a highly food centered person. It is who I am, and although I can change my habits and focus intently on managing my compulsion to eat "all the food all the time," it will be a lifelong endeavor.

    I have found that focusing on behaviors instead of results is very helpful for me. Important behaviors that I need to engage in to manage my compulsivity include logging my food more often than not (I'm three years in, so I do skip some days), working out intensely and regularly, being aware of the reasons that I am eating, choosing to eat 80/20 (healthy/unhealthy), and monitoring my self-talk for negativity (otherwise known as my mother's voice in my head). I did attend several years of cognitive behavioral therapy to get to this point.

    The other thing that changed for me during this process is my thinking that "If I lose the weight, I'll be done." I understand now that maintaining weight requires as much effort and intention as losing weight, and I'm in this forever. I don't "fall off the wagon" anymore. There is no wagon. There is just me making the best choices I can every single day. Some days are better than others, but I start over every day and try my hardest to be healthy, happy, fit and purposeful.
  • madhatter2013
    madhatter2013 Posts: 1,547 Member
    This
    1382894018.jpg
    You're slacking because you are complacent with the way things are and you're not willing to really change. I mean, call a spade a spade. If you were really ready to change your lifestyle, you'd be cracking down on it and doing it. You're not, which means you're not ready. You look in the mirror and say to yourself "oh I'm ok. I've gotten used ot the way I look. My clothes fit for now." You haven't been pushed far enough and you've somehow justified your life and body as being ok just the way it is. You need to view your life and body as unacceptable and do something about it. No one is going to hold your hand through this journey. (There's a huge difference between support and hand holding)
  • Blowing_Daisies
    Blowing_Daisies Posts: 14 Member
    Logging and getting a good MFP friend support system will help heeps Not only will they be able to point you out but when you log everything down to the last gram you will see where your go wrong and maybe pinpoint why. Many of us have bad days my worst days are when im fed up but then tomorrow is another day and I pick myself up and start again . I pre make/plan all my meals the day before so I can eat/snack correctly when the need comes. We all gotta make mitakes and have a few bad days before we can get on track to the better days the main thing is you know where your going wrong and you are planning to improve it.
  • naj609
    naj609 Posts: 18 Member
    Thank you ever so much for the links & book recommendation!
  • naj609
    naj609 Posts: 18 Member
    I think over doing it IS exactly what I've been doing!!mI'm pretty sure I have the food's figured out, when I'm home, it's when we have to out for my hubby's work things. That's going to be my "side step", with my main focus of getting back into my workout regiment.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 49,024 Member
    Yesterday, I saw a pic of myself & my almost 5 year old, I looked HUGE. My child could tell something was wrong, so I was honest, explained that I need to lose weight. What really hit me, she agreed :( I started this weightloss journey 5 years ago & keep yo- yoing! What do I do today, binge! I have awesome support at home, so what's my deal!?!

    Anyone else overcome this?
    You haven't really committed to it. It's not that high a priority or you would have found a way to do it by now.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • Eric_DeCastro
    Eric_DeCastro Posts: 767 Member
    Yesterday, I saw a pic of myself & my almost 5 year old, I looked HUGE. My child could tell something was wrong, so I was honest, explained that I need to lose weight. What really hit me, she agreed :( I started this weightloss journey 5 years ago & keep yo- yoing! What do I do today, binge! I have awesome support at home, so what's my deal!?!

    Anyone else overcome this?
    You haven't really committed to it. It's not that high a priority or you would have found a way to do it by now.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    i agree, it's very easy to say I need to change. it's very different than getting up and doing something about it. I would start by cleaning out your pantry and keeping only things that fuel your body for exercise. even if you aren't exercising yet. throw it all away. ALL OF IT. do some research on what foods will fuel your body and buy those foods. remember we eat to live not live to eat. when you start to exercise you will find you need more of certain things to fuel your body. once you get in a groove and routine, you will be just like anyone of us. be strong. clean out that pantry. do it for your health. don't worry about the weight, worry about your health. I found a Cinnabon inge last night and said wow this would taste good. i put it back and had a salad. and tuna sandwich.
  • lavaughan69
    lavaughan69 Posts: 459 Member
    I see a lot of posts on here looking for motivation or what the secret to succeeding with dieting and I always wish I had amazing words of wisdom that could help. Unfortunately I did the yoyo thing for 20 plus years and I hate to even say I've been successful this time around, after all it's only been a year. What I will say is sometimes takes hitting rock bottom...for me it was seeing a picture of me on vacation.

    This site is so helpful. On days when I'm feeling a lack of motivation I always head over to the success pages and look through them. They are so inspiring. And I think anybody that has successfully lost weight had many ups and downs along the way but just kept at it. Slow and steady.
  • brenn24179
    brenn24179 Posts: 2,144 Member
    You are enjoying doing all the eating and to change is work and you have to be willing to do the work.
  • Kelly_Runs_NC
    Kelly_Runs_NC Posts: 474 Member
    Two things helped me....I've never binged since:

    1) I don't restrict as much
    2) I have a small cheat meal on saturday nights.

    Those 2 things keep me right on track usually without a second thought. I haven't slipped up in over 8 months.
  • jennk5309
    jennk5309 Posts: 206 Member
    Honestly, you have to want it really bad to do it. Find your motivation and think of it often. Two other tips I have for you is to number one, make exercise a habit and a priority. If you screw up your diet, at least you can feel good that you worked out. It's something positive that you are adding rather than taking away or depriving yourself of. Do it almost every day and learn to love it. I am pregnant right now and discouraged because I can't seem to keep my weight gain under control. So I decided, after almost 4 months of constant nausea and fatigue to get back into my working out habit. I came to the conclusion that I may not be able to control how much I gain, but I can still stay fit and strong doing it so that I'm not starting from scratch being super out of shape after the baby is born. Again, I am adding, not taking away.

    Second- maybe try Weight Watchers with the meetings. MFP is great, but I was really successful on Weight Watchers because I stuck to it, knowing that I had to face that "official" weigh in once a week and the number was recorded in my log. I made myself go even if I knew I really screwed up that week, and would use feeling like a failure to do better the next week.

    Hope that helps!
  • lee91356
    lee91356 Posts: 330 Member
    Part of the work is about learning to be realistic with your expectations and realizing you are human and you will "fail" or "fall off the wagon" every now and again.

    Just realize that it takes time and can takes years to see the results, but every step in that direction is the right one. :happy: Be patient and keep at it EVEN after a binge or whatnot and you'll get to where you want.

    PS I took me over two years to lose my weight and I still struggle everyday, but getting to where I am and NOT wanting to regain is what keeps me from COMPLETELY regressing. Its hard and somedays I want to quit and eat EVERYTHING lol. But its worth the work, so keep at it.
  • kdt0315
    kdt0315 Posts: 13 Member
    Love this!
  • MizMimi111
    MizMimi111 Posts: 244 Member
    Maybe start with just one thing? Sometimes going all out can be frustrating and lead to giving up.

    When I started I focused first on calorie counting and making that a habit. Making that change I started to see progress so devided to add exercise. Got an elliptical, used it once and hated it. I mean, being as overweightband inactive as I was it hurt! So I gave myself permission to not feel guilty about but kept calorie counting. Then I started swimming (which I love). It's been a step by step process and I know if I had done it all at one time I would not have come this far.

    So maybe just start with the one thing you know you can stick with and add on as you are ready & capable.

    You can do this!
  • mary659497
    mary659497 Posts: 484 Member
    This is a struggle I have had my entire life. Just take your eating one day at a time. If that is too much to focus on take it hourly. Good luck.
  • I have been going through that same yo-yo process lately and I am finally making a push to do what I know needs to be done, I think we are all more than capable of reaching our goals we just need to focus on it. I've discovered that if I really involve myself by reading about exercise and eating habits and general health I tend to stay more focused on my goals. Hope that helps :smile:
  • birkona
    birkona Posts: 24
    Not being consistant is my biggest flaw, I think. I cook nightly, but no, I don't always track. I have a gym in my home, but slip from my daily workout routine after a few weeks. Thank you for the responses!

    You should trying working out as soon as you wake up. Studies have shown that people who workout in the morning stay dedicated to it for a longer time. That way you're not coming up with excuses in the evening as to why you shouldn't work out. I've been doing this for quite some time now and I find that it always works for me. It's become a routine now. I usually do anywhere from 30-45 minutes. I also used to go to the gym and do the classes. Everyone inspires one another and it will help to make it more of a lifestyle. I think all you need is routine and some good motivation!