I still see the fat girl

JulieE1002 · May 2014

Today must be notice Julie day! Since I am now just 3 pounds from my goal weight, I went out and purchased new clothes over the weekend. When I began my journey I weighed 210 (the last time I actually weighed myself) and wore a size 20 pants (I am 5'11"). I purchased size 10 clothing - I've never in my adult life wore a size 10. Today I wore a new outfit and boy have people noticed me! So many times I have heard today "you look fantastic!" "you should be done losing weight now, right?" "OMG what size are you because you look tiny!" "how did you get your arms to look like that?"

Here's the thing - I still see the fat girl. I got dressed this morning in my size 10 clothes and looked in the mirror - I saw the fat girl in new clothes! When I get out of the shower, I still see the problem spots - I still see the fat. I still FEEL like the fat girl - I don't FEEL slim, trim and muscular.

Why can't I see what other people see?

Dalton1720 · May 2014

We are our own worst critics. I went from a size 12-14 to a size 6 and have that problem on some days too. Im sure you feel a million times better than ever and most of the time take pride in your accomplishment! 10 pant sizes is a great feat! I think no matter how trim a person gets after having to work so hard they always carry that old mind set. Just keep positive and believe in the complements! You're beautiful and have made so much progress. Keep it up girl!

jnorban · May 2014

You probably had the mindset of being heavier for longer than you have been skinny. Give yourself time.

aliwhalen · May 2014

I've experienced the same thing, but in the opposite direction. When I gained a lot of weight I kept seeing myself as the thin girl I used to be, and then I'd see a photo or catch a glimpse in a mirror, or try on a new top and would realize, I'm not the thin girl I used to be! And it broke. my. brain.

I agree with the others, it's going to take time for your mind's eye to get used to how you look now and accept your new body.

frannieshack · May 2014

Unfortunately, we don't have someone following us around with an airbrush to fix the images we see, like they do in the media. We all need to enjoy and be proud of the skin we are in! Focus on the health that you have gained by dropping that weight! You are awesome!!!

forkofpower · May 2014

I'm the exact same way. Lost 15 pounds, see no difference in the mirror, and am surprised when others comment. Strangely, I felt skinnier than I was when I was chubby too. I think people are just poor at judging their own size.

_L_A_ · May 2014

I'm the same, both ways! When I have gained weight I still see myself as the slimmer version, and then suddenly it'll just click one day and I'll realise what I actually look like! When I lose weight I still see all my rolls and lots of fat, even though I have lost weight and inches and get the odd comment too about how I'm looking slimmer I still can't see it! I'm hoping that one day it'll click just like it does when I gained the weight back after the first loss!

will2lose72 · May 2014

I am fairly sure I will have to work on the mindset too when I get to my goal weight. Heck, should probably start now! Have you taken pics of yourself? Do you feel the same way when you see yourself in a picture? Maybe you could compare your before and after pics which might help you to visibly see the difference.

MinnieInMaine · May 2014

As someone else said, I think it takes time to adjust. I've lost most of my weight now but I was obese for nearly 20 years before that. There are still days when I picture myself as bigger in my head than I am in real life because that's how I looked for so long. Then I have little reality checks. Like when I was flying last week, it occurred to me that I wasn't taking up as much space in the seat as I used to and had plenty of slack in the seatbelt. Or I'll catch my reflection in a shop window or my shadow on the ground and think - wait, that's me?

The best was when I got a pair of size 9/10 pants as hand-me-downs from a friend - I thought no WAY are those going to fit! They're a tiny bit snug but not nearly as bad as I thought.

Check out old pictures of yourself and then look in the mirror and really appreciate the differences. Or if you still have "before" clothes, put them on and see just how much your body has changed. These are what are referred to as NSVs or Non Scale Victories. I think sometimes we get caught up so much in what the scale says that we don't pay attention to the other measures of progress like inches lost and sizes dropped.

Be your own best cheerleader and celebrate ALL parts of this journey!

kwantlen2051 · May 2014

Yeah, I get what you mean. I feel like that some days. Even when I look at my current pictures, I see a heavier me who needs to lose some more lbs.

Thanks for this post, I need to learn to appreciate the small victories more.:)

laurie62ann · May 2014

Hi, first congrats on all your hard work! What you have is called "Phantom Fat". It's were you look in the mirror and still see the old you. It has happened to a lot of us! For me it has gotten better with time, but I still have "fat" days! You need to focus on how far you have come, all your hard work, and how amazing you must feel!!!

Again Congrats!!!

tracy_getsfit · May 2014

First and foremost congrats! I am in the same boat I have lost over a 130 pounds. The only way that I am able to see the change in me is to go back and look at pictures and do a side by side. It will come in time. You see yourself everyday. And just because you do not see it in the mirror...does not mean that you cannot feel it!

Adc7225 · May 2014

I know how you feel and I hope this goes away. I have gone from a size 20 to right now I am in a size 6 sheath dress but I still see that fat girl in the mirror most days. I think one of the things is that we will more than likely always focus on what we do not like . . . do we really know anyone that even when we look at them and see perfect, they have issues with something - usually something only they can see

I try and take one day at a time and even though I still have about 13 pounds to go and to be honest I have no idea where I want them to come from, I intend to reach my goal and hope that things work out in time.

LillithM · May 2014

Yeah whenever I feel that I way I take pictures and it really helps me actually see me outside of my own mindset

gobraves47 · May 2014

Congrats on almost reaching your goal! I think what you're feeling is pretty normal and it just takes time for your mind to catch up. I know that I'm now much more critical of my body than I ever was when I weighed 300+ pounds. But, once in a while I'll catch a glimpse of my reflection and think "Wow, I am getting smaller!" I love those moments. lol. My loss has been slow and my mind is slowly realizing that my body has changed.

JulieE1002 · May 2014

Thanks to all for your encouraging and fabulous posts! I have not put on old clothes and unfortunately can't because I gave away ALL my clothes that are too big. i don't want to get into maintenance and think that it's Ok to let a few pounds creep up because I have pants that fit! Oh no! I just finished reading an article about how it takes time for the brain to catch up to the body after a significant weight loss. I know that 50 pounds isn't that significant, but it's MY 50 pounds and I lost it (hopefully never to be found again)!

Thanks again to all.

luzdelua · May 2014

Julie! I totally know how you feel. I've lost about 20 pounds and people see me and tell me they can tell the differences but when I look in the mirror I don't see it! Yesterday I decided to take some pictures to compare it to others I took a month ago and I COULD NOT believe the difference. It got me so excited! I think it helped me realized that my body has actually changed. It's weird when you get used to your body being a certain away and then it changes so "quickly"!

rkalin779 · May 2014

Well...you look AMAZING!! You should be very proud of yourself!! I am at the beginning of my journey and I am afraid of the same thing. Nice to know it takes your mind some time to process the loss.

breezee313 · May 2014

I really suggest taking a picture of yourself and printing it out. Looking in the mirror and looking at a picture are two very different things. My mom lost 40 pounds and had the same issue. I showed her a pic of herself and she asked me who the person was. Congrats and give it time!!!

becky4m · May 2014

Great job on the loss. I'm the same way. In stores while shopping I still grab the larger size and always go back. I'll grab a 12, 10, and 8. Much to my surprise the store clerk yesterday asked if I needed a 2 or 4 I started laughing. Grabbed a six and it was big. She was right, I'm a 4. She saw it. Why can't I!!! I get what your saying. Your not alone.

PurpleMomster · May 2014

I totally know what you feel. I lost 75lbs and when I look in the mirror or see myself in a store window, I still see myself as I was not as I am now. I even had my drivers' license and work ID cards re-taken because neither of those look like me but I still see what I used to be.

I wear a size 12 now - still working on losing the last 12 or so lbs - but every time I walk into a clothing store, I always go for the plus size section first. I always have to tell myself that I don't fit those clothes any more.

I don't want to go back there - I've given away all my "big" clothes - so I hope I stop seeing myself there soon.

rosehips60 · May 2014

Thanks to all for your encouraging and fabulous posts! I have not put on old clothes and unfortunately can't because I gave away ALL my clothes that are too big. i don't want to get into maintenance and think that it's Ok to let a few pounds creep up because I have pants that fit! Oh no! I just finished reading an article about how it takes time for the brain to catch up to the body after a significant weight loss. I know that 50 pounds isn't that significant, but it's MY 50 pounds and I lost it (hopefully never to be found again)!

Thanks again to all.

50 pounds not significant!! Ha!! Of course it is significant, it's a small bale of hay

Congratulations on your VERY significant weight loss, great job

denizfindigi · May 2014

I see a beautiful woman. A beautiful woman who is so dedicated to be perfect that she has forgotten to see the amazing accomplishment she made - the strong willed person she is.
Not satisfied? Ask those people around you who see the skinny girl why you cannot see what they see I am sure they'll show you what you are missing.

rhina23 · May 2014

Thanks to all for your encouraging and fabulous posts! I have not put on old clothes and unfortunately can't because I gave away ALL my clothes that are too big. i don't want to get into maintenance and think that it's Ok to let a few pounds creep up because I have pants that fit! Oh no! I just finished reading an article about how it takes time for the brain to catch up to the body after a significant weight loss. I know that 50 pounds isn't that significant, but it's MY 50 pounds and I lost it (hopefully never to be found again)!

Thanks again to all.

You look fantabulous! They say, we are own worst critic.
I guess we all need to learn to be nice to our own selves.

It will surely take time. But girl, you did inspire me!

I have lost but 7 lbs and my assistant kept telling me i lost a lot of weight.
I of course, refused to believe that.

I lost like 2 inches on my waist and i still see big difference.

brenn24179 · May 2014

50 lbs is pretty significant. I know I nitpick myself all the time but it sure feels good to wear size 10 and 12. I lost the same amount of weight but I am only 5'4. My Dad use to call me short and dumpy and I still cant get passed it. Always see myself that way but I know I am not as dumpy as I was!

naturesfinest4688 · May 2014

Ive lost 146 pounds and im almost 135 but im depressed still dont see the person they say I am .We are are worst critics and its so hard on us...be strong ladies we will never be perfect

JerseyChic76 · May 2014

You look amazing!

Keepcalmanddontblink · May 2014

Today must be notice Julie day! Since I am now just 3 pounds from my goal weight, I went out and purchased new clothes over the weekend. When I began my journey I weighed 210 (the last time I actually weighed myself) and wore a size 20 pants (I am 5'11"). I purchased size 10 clothing - I've never in my adult life wore a size 10. Today I wore a new outfit and boy have people noticed me! So many times I have heard today "you look fantastic!" "you should be done losing weight now, right?" "OMG what size are you because you look tiny!" "how did you get your arms to look like that?"

Here's the thing - I still see the fat girl. I got dressed this morning in my size 10 clothes and looked in the mirror - I saw the fat girl in new clothes! When I get out of the shower, I still see the problem spots - I still see the fat. I still FEEL like the fat girl - I don't FEEL slim, trim and muscular.

Why can't I see what other people see?

Have you done side by side pics? Before and after shots of your body and face? That might help drive home that you are not that girl anymore. Just keep looking at the new ones of you until you can see the difference.

katznkt · May 2014

Meh... I still get a pleasant jolt everyone every time I look in the mirror and see my new size. My brain hasn't updated its mental picture of me yet. So I hold up pants thinking they won't fit, but they do. And I think I'm going to break something by sitting on it. But I don't.

But I'll keep looking at myself and eventually I'll get it.

MinnieInMaine · May 2014

Sweety, you need to start being kinder to yourself and give yourself WAY more credit. Of course 50 pound is a significant loss!! That brought you from being obese to a normal/healthy weight range. Not to mention all the work and time you must've put in to accomplish that loss.

Hell, even a 10 pound loss is significant in my mind. That might sound odd coming from someone who's ticker shows a great loss but seriously, I've been on both ends of the spectrum and flat in the middle and know that it's tough no matter how much weight you have to lose.

You've done fantastic!

onematch · May 2014

I've experienced the same thing, but in the opposite direction. When I gained a lot of weight I kept seeing myself as the thin girl I used to be, and then I'd see a photo or catch a glimpse in a mirror, or try on a new top and would realize, I'm not the thin girl I used to be! And it broke. my. brain.

I agree with the others, it's going to take time for your mind's eye to get used to how you look now and accept your new body.

This is me too. I'm just starting my journey to lose the weight, but a big problem (no pun intended) has been that I still see myself as a size 10, when in reality I'm pushing a size 20. Only in photos do I see a BIG girl. I've started putting unflattering photos on my mirror as motivation.

I still see the fat girl

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