Encouraging a relative to join MFP

HarrietByron88 · May 2014

Hi all,

I wanted to ask the MFP community if they have any advice about encouraging a relative to join and use this site.

Backstory:
My mum has been obese my whole life. She's tried lots of different methods to lose weight but none have really worked long term. I've found MFP to be very helpful in losing weight myself, because quantifying everything makes it easier to understand why I lose or gain, and I don't feel superstitious about certain foods as a result. I think this approach could help my mum because she thinks that 'nothing works' for her, as she's tried many diets that cut out certain food groups, but has never been that exact in measuring portion sizes. I mentioned MFP to her briefly, tried to explain how it works etc. and she seemed a little skeptical -- she's very sensitive about the topic of weight loss and I can imagine probably doesn't want other people pestering her. However, I do feel that she is severely limiting her life as she can't walk very far anymore due to the extra weight putting pressure on her joints. I know that ultimately it's her life and her choice but I want to encourage her to join MFP (without being too pushy/ hectoring). Any ideas on how to phrase things? I'm planning on emailing her the link to MFP soon -- it would be great if anyone could share their experiences of this kind of thing.

Steff46 · May 2014

I keep singing the praises of MFP to my friends especially when they asked how I am losing the weight. So far it hasn't worked. They think because I am active it just comes off but that is only half the battle.

One thought, if she gets on the computer daily and checks emails or news maybe she can add MFP to that daily routine

martinel2099 · May 2014

You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink. Give the people the resources they need and when they are ready they will take advantage of it. I was skeptical too before I started using MFP but it wasn't until after a friend recommended it to me and doing my own thing for a little while after did I finally decide to use it.

The best thing you can do is lead by example. I want my brother to use this site as he is much more obese than I am. He's started using the site at least a little because he's been noticing my weight loss from it.

sfbaumgarten · May 2014

If you don't want to be pushy, do as another poster said and simply lead by example. Your MFP success over time might be enough to spark her interest.

levitateme · May 2014

Leading by example really doesn't do anything unless the person is already interested in changing.

Just like everyone else said, you can't encourage someone to lose weight if they aren't already interested.

PJPrimrose · May 2014

My DH took quite awhile to decide he wanted to be in shape like I am. I never pushed him: 1. none of my business. He's a grown man and makes his own decisions. 2. because it's not my business would undoubtedly lead to fight of which I'd be on the losing side that could never be won.

Set the example and pray that she follows!

It's good that you are concerned about your mum. You must love her a lot.

MinnieInMaine · May 2014

Yup, as others pointed out, there's not a whole lot you can do other than lead by example and drop the occassional hint. I've told multiple people about this site and even convinced one friend to finally sign up but her logging didn't last long.

I also want to add that it might be benficial to make sure your concerns about your mothers weight are expressed regarding her health and mobility. Try to make sure you're very clear about this. It has nothing to do with her looks or anything like that, you just want her to be around as long as possible and get the most out of that longevity.

HarrietByron88 · May 2014

Thanks everyone for your input -- I might email her the link but not bring it up again after that, see what happens!

Encouraging a relative to join MFP

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