Beginnings I suppose

TL:DR I am finally accepting progress and im a happier person, halfway to my goal. Also no selfies.

Firstly 2 things to get you to get in my mindset:
1: I am extremely determined in basically every aspect of my life and yet with weight loss I threaten to give up at least twice a week.
2: I refuse to accept that I'm making progress or have done anything worth of people's praise

When I graduated high school, i was 180, when i graduated college 3 yeas later 230, when i finally settled down after starting a new job and moving across state, 270. I've always had a "figure" so I never really cared. I had accepted that i was going to be fat and well, that was that. But one day I just looked at myself and realized "I hate the way I look"
Now I hate pictures due to the afore mentioned aspect, but let me tell you. A double chin, had one. Fitting my fingers around my wrist, pffffft in my dreams. So much stomach fat it hung over in a fold, ew, yup. I was wearing a 20W pant. You get the point. That was the beginning of March.

So I bought a cheap elliptical machine, threw out all my unhealthy candy and snacks, replaced my coffee with tea :"(, and got serious for once about losing weight. That first month I lost 20 pounds. But I couldnt see it. Yes the scale said, but I couldnt see anything. After that first month I got reeeaaaalllllyyy cranky and wasn't sleeping right, so I told myself, slow down. if you can do 10 pounds every 5 weeks thats 103 pounds lost in a year. So I set new goals and started working for it.

It has worked thus far. I am down to 230 (40 pounds.... I know) and I decided to go clothes shopping. (i was swimming in my 20W's). 18W, Good God, was I wearing a tent, 16 W, I can fit my fist between my stomach and these waist bands, 16 Regular, HOLY CRAP THEY FIT! Suddenly I looked in the mirror and Blammy it kinda hit me. That stomach pouch, while still convex didnt hang over, when I looked down I barely had a double chin, my thighs only touched at the top. I whipped out a tape measure (yes I carry one for reasons) minus 5 inches on my waist line.

It is definitely a start to a long journey to lose 100, but it is a start. When I step on that scale I have to think "Ok, goal, goal, goal, goal, goal" but I can also let myself think "I was sitting here going the same thing a week ago but 3 pounds heavier"