Harsh words from family as motivation?

fastfoodietofitcutie
fastfoodietofitcutie Posts: 523 Member
in Motivation and Support
Just venting. Last year my sister and I talked about going on a certain trip. My sister made up an extensive lie to cover the fact that she chose to go with a friend instead of me. I found out about it and she broke down and told me she lied because the trip would be too physical, a lot of walking and I couldn't do it. She's right.

If I didn't feel bad enough, she sent me an email apologizing for lying but said she's sad I'm 40, single, and am missing out on life. She said I should have weight loss surgery.

Everything she said is true, it just really hurts. I didn't think she viewed me as being that pathetic. I guess I can use this as motivation but I would like to get healthy for myself and not to please her.

Replies

  • MeanNurseGM95
    MeanNurseGM95 Posts: 49 Member
    I use the mean hurtful (normally truthful) words that people have said to me to help motivate me. But I also use the other great things to motivate me like my daughter wanting me to ride horses with her, my son wanting me to practice baseball with him, and the thought that one day I will feel good about myself and what I have done.

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  • Ulwaz
    Ulwaz Posts: 380 Member
    i think thats too harsh tbh :/ but if you want to lose weight you should go for it!
    but dont do it for other people, size doesnt matter, being a good person is the main thing x
  • Kr1ptonite
    Kr1ptonite Posts: 789 Member
    Yeah I can understand that could be hurtful. But you need to want to do it. Do it for yourself. I wouldn't use her words as motivation as to me it would just make you feel sad. Use positive stuff, that makes you want to push that extra bit. And don't have weight loss surgery, like she said. It's just my opinion, but if you are physically capable of losing without surgery then you should do it that way.
  • alereck
    alereck Posts: 343 Member
    I think your sister loves you and was just being honest. My sister is a drug addict and it makes me devastated that she is not her best. She could be and do so much more if she would just stop but off course any conversation about it and she won't talk to me for weeks.

    I'm not trying to say that overeating is the same as drug use; I'm just trying to relate. I also wish my sister was more financially stable so we could do things together but we can't. I think your sister genuinely wants you to be happy and she wants to be closer to you. She apologized don't be too harsh on her either.

    I think that if you agree with her then it is the first step. If you are happy with your life and yourself then you tell her that, but if you are not then use her as part of your support system. It sounds like she would be the kind of person who would listen to your accomplishments and struggles. It's important to have someone like that when starting this hard journey.

    Good luck to you.
  • daniel_parrett
    daniel_parrett Posts: 30 Member
    lots of good responses so far, but here's my two cents:

    you can use negativity for motivation, but it wont last.

    i picture someone close saying all that to me, and i can see myself getting very upset about it.

    that might help you get a really good workout, fueled with rage and self-loathing, but weightloss is a long term investment. unless you are getting that kind of feedback daily, i dont think it will be enough to drive you by itself...

    do it for you.

    for me, i see it like this: if i take a year of my life and get my crap together, i could be at a more normal weight. a year is not a long time in the grand scheme of things. working towards that and seeing the weightloss each week keeps me going.

    good luck in any event!
  • tmj4477
    tmj4477 Posts: 145 Member
    Doing something to prove someone else wrong is not sustainable...believe me I know from experience. I lost 30 pounds a couple of years ago out of pure spite and gained it all back plus some. Now I am trying to lose for just for me! Perhaps you can make some physical/social/personal goals to motivate you. For instance I want to:

    be able to get scuba certified (have to tread for 10 mins and swim 200 yards)
    be able to play tennis well enough to play in a local league
    be able to get into a pair of jeans that when I wore them I thought I was hot
    be able to purchase a watch without adding links

    It motivates me without having the requirement of the negative emotional connection to someone else.

    Friend me if you like!
  • PunkyRachel
    PunkyRachel Posts: 1,959 Member
    My younger brother used refer to me as "fatty" instead of using my name on a regular basis. The last 3 times I've seen he hasn't so yea happy about that.

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