Stretch marks are sabotaging my weight loss

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Replies

  • SmartAlec03211988
    SmartAlec03211988 Posts: 1,896 Member
    The only thing you can do is accept that they're there. I was horrified at first, but honestly, they're there, they're not going anywhere, and I refuse to let such a trivial thing (which they are) spoil my accomplishments.

    They REALLY do fade with time, though. You have to be really close to me to even realize they're there. They used to be awful - mostly when they were new, but over time they fade to nearly nothing.
  • tinkbaby101
    tinkbaby101 Posts: 180 Member
    My husband had bariatric surgery, and he has tons of stretchies after losing over 150lbs. That doesn't mean he's any less attractive, and it's rare that anyone actually notices them, myself included. He notices them, though, and it can be a spot of insecurity for him. Just keep in mind... they're not marks of failure, they're marks of success. The likelihood is that nobody will notice stretch marks, when they're too busy noticing how amazing you look with your healthy weight.
  • flatlndr
    flatlndr Posts: 713 Member
    They're not stretch marks, they're battle scars, and because now you're winning the war!

    I'm down 80 lbs, with another 20 or so to go. I have some marks and some loose skin, and I know it will take a good bit of time before they go away ... if ever. But whenever I see them and feel a bit down, I remind myself how much better I look now than I did 80 lbs ago. My wife loves that she can get her arms around me now for a hug, even though there's some loose skin there.

    Chin up! (I like to say that, now that my double chin is gone!)
  • drocknoel
    drocknoel Posts: 30 Member
    Women won't be turned off by the stretch marks. My ex girlfriend kept pushing for me to not be ashamed of them and when I finally told her they bugged me, she laughed and went, "Dude, they make it look like you fought a tiger." It made me feel a LOT better.

    Get yourself to a point where you're happy with yourself and everything else will come to you :)
  • toadg53
    toadg53 Posts: 302 Member
    I don't think I know anybody that doesn't have stretch marks. It's a fact of life. Only the models that look anorexic don't ... and probably some of them do too, they marks have just been air brushed out. But heh, you can't air brush out life events. I've had 2 kids and have gained and lost probably a dozen people over my life. So the stretch marks are here to stay.

    I did read online about "dry skin brushing" and I've been doing that for probably 4 months or so now. It actually has helped a bit I think. If nothing else, it makes your skin feel baby soft. But you do the skin brushing, take a shower and then apply a good lotion after. A lotion with vitamin E, collagen, elastin and shea butter. I use a wonderful one that I found at a local store (chain) and the 2-tiered process actually has lightened the color of the marks. If anybody is interested in the name of the product, they could in-box me and I would be happy to share. And NO ... I don't get any kickback or anything, it's just a really good product and smells divine. And it seems to be good for the skin. Makes the marks go away? No. But lessens the look of them a bit, ya, just becuz of the color fading.

    According to Health and Fitness, 80% of the population has stretch marks. So you ARE in good company.
  • PlunderBunneh
    PlunderBunneh Posts: 1,705 Member
    They will fade, they will always be there but they won't always be red.


    That said, they will be there if you are fit or large. What you do with your body from this point forward is your decision. You can hide behind your scars, or you can accept them and move on to working to control the parts of your body that you are able to.
  • rbiss
    rbiss Posts: 422 Member
    If you end up with a nice athletic body at the end of this journey, I guarantee no one will focus on your stretch marks. They will show how far you have come and that is very admirable.
  • They don't go away 100% though they will fade. I have them all over my body, however when I am fit, I don't care as much, I'm proud of my hard work and show off. Don't worry so much, if you are getting into great shape girls are going to notice that first before they notice stretch marks, and any girl you date will probably have her own as well.
  • Mygsds
    Mygsds Posts: 1,564 Member
    Hello....... In case you haven't noticed you are a really good looking guy... My husband has stretch marks, me too. He has a beer belly also. What attracted me to him was his self confidence. Anyone who judges you for your stretch marks doesn't deserve you anyway. WE ALL HAVE SOME KIND OF FLAWS. You have been successful at weight loss and that shows what you are made of and people respond to that also. Just remember one thing. "God does not make junk" when I was my heaviest I hated everything about myself. My hair, body, and all. My husband could not understand it because he told me he fell in love with me, not the stuff I was so obsessed with. You will find that girl who may also have flaws but you know what it's called life. Go live it and to hell if someone does not like your marks. We all have them. Life is too short to worry about what other people think . Go have fun.. You deserve it all. Take that shirt off and enjoy the rays.... :drinker:
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    I lived with stretch marks I hated on my belly for years and years and years. If it weren't for those my body was fit enough for bikini's so it was very frustrating and they were on my mind constantly.

    I still managed to live life though by dressing in ways that covered them. This helped me feel like people might focus on other parts of me and most importantly that I PERSONALLY could focus on other parts of me that I like, like certain aspects of my personality. I was working in the corporate world which welcomes conservative dress so it worked out.

    Last few years after having a tummy tuck surgery that removed lots of my stretch marks after having a second child an "earning" more stripes, I am almost stretch mark free. (On my belly). The only thing standing in my way now is weight loss. I hope I can get there though because I have major hurdles and I feel pretty alone in wanting that for myself. It doesn't really seem lately like anyone but me thinks I can do it or have either the method or wherewithal to do it. I probably only have myself to blame b/c I let a bad experience derail me completely.

    In your case as a man I think women are more accepting of men as they are. I hope so because men accepted me with mine all those years and I hope women are at least as good if not better at seeing past the physical.
  • walterm852
    walterm852 Posts: 409 Member
    Being slimmer with stretch marks is 10,00000x better than being obese with them. If you let stretch marks stop you from reaching your goals so be it, but to be blunt, you'd be a damn fool.

    Amen to that. Two choices
    1) You will either be fat with no stretch marks
    2) You can be athletic, enjoy the benefits of being in shape, but have stretch marks which may fade over time. As young as you are, stretch mark cosmetic advances are likely improve too

    What your feeling is legit, but based on the alternatives, its a no brainer
  • JJplus6
    JJplus6 Posts: 11 Member
    I think it's hard to live with any imperfection when you're 19... at your age, it seems like everyone has a perfect body. I remember feeling the same way about myself, and it's such an unhealthy mindset. I think this kind of insecurity is something that fades as you mature, but at 19, it's so hard to truly be comfortable in your own skin when you have convinced yourself you don't deserve to be.

    For what it's worth, I started dating my husband when we were 23, and he had stretch marks from a big weight gain/loss in college. He was really embarrassed about it, but I didn't mind them. If anything was a bit of a turn-off, it was the self-consciousness, not the actual stretch marks.

    A lot more young adults have stretch marks than you realize. I had a few from growth spurts as a kid, with an especially pronounced set of them on my upper left arm that I can barely see now. My model-beautiful sister, who has never been overweight a day in her life, has them on her thighs from a childhood growth spurt. Being prone to stretch marks is genetic, so even if you didn't have a large weight gain, you might have gotten them anyway.

    You have just barely begun adulthood -- spend this time educating yourself, getting healthy, and learning to like yourself. The rest will fall into place when the time is right.
  • JJplus6
    JJplus6 Posts: 11 Member
    ...wont wear cloths that show my arms or legs(I just spent the summer in long sleeves and jeans and it was DEPRESSING) don't want to meet guys because of it, lack of confidence and they get me down I spend so much time think about them...how to get rid of them and how to cover them up-with cloths and creams/treatments.

    ...but truly at times the feel like the worst thing in (MY) world-paticularly as someone so young. the lack of confidence from my stretch marks has had a lot of knock on effect and has also prohibited my weight loss/fitness (I don't want to swim with them or wear workout wear that shows my body..I also waited to begin my weight loss journey until after summer as not to risk more stretch marks-crazy I know )

    My heart breaks for you... not because you have stretch marks, but because you've given them such power in your life. I hope you don't do this again to yourself this summer. I understand the compelling desire to cover yourself, but long sleeves and long pants in summer heat must be utterly miserable. Don't punish yourself like that -- you deserve better. You could even start by wearing elbow-length t-shirts and knee-length capri pants, or a maxi dress with a 3/4 sleeves lightweight cardigan -- still covers quite a bit, but not nearly as suffocating. Be kind to yourself!
  • Tinydancer91
    Tinydancer91 Posts: 17 Member
    Honey we all have them. I would honestly never look at a guy any differently for having them. You just be you. I promise no one cares. P.s. I've been with many jocks and Abercrombie type boys (not necessarily athletes) and lemme tell ya something, they've all got them under their clothes too. (I'm somebody who notices every detail) but really, I felt flustered and giddy when I'd secretly notice them because I thought it was so cute. Please don't let this drag you down, it really is unnecessary my love.
  • sierra8017
    sierra8017 Posts: 1
    It's so true, most human beings have them. I got them since I was 12 yrs old. Now I have more since I had three babies. I would rather have them knowing that I've lost weight and very proud of myself for reaching my goal. I also think if you just keep at losing weight and not go back to gaining weight it will help stop accumulate more stretch marks. I have to say that that's why you are getting more.

    I actually have the same problem since I was a teenager even younger than you. I was over weight and have stretch marks and didn't want to wear shorts. Also it got worse when I got it on my stomach at age 19 because I gained 60lbs from having a baby. My point is when I started working out and got fit I didn't care about them. My stomach still had them but it wasn't noticeable to me anymore because it was flat. So when you get fit all the stretch marks you thought that were horrible isn't so bad. You start looking at how good you look instead.

    If a girl doesn't like you for who you are then they are not worth your time. There are lots of women out there who will support you on your journey. Oh, even guys who work out get them too. Good luck to you!
  • uconnwinsnc
    uconnwinsnc Posts: 1,054 Member
    Hey everyone. I'm a 6'1 19 year old male at around low 300s. I have gained and lost weight in large increments for the past 5 years or so. From the constant weight changing, I developed stretch marks all over my body. Up and down my stomach, on my arms, behind my legs. It's one of the features of myself that I truly hate, and gives me a lot of insecurity. It's gotten to the point where I don't even feel like a normal human because of my skin. I don't take my shirt off in public, I don't go swimming, etc.

    The point is I DO want to lose weight and look better/feel better, but my stretch marks are making it seem like losing weight is pointless because they'll never go away (I used every product imaginable). If I didn't have marks I would have so much more confidence, I would also make myself more available to women (yes, the marks are actually making me feel like I'm a monster and not good enough for anyone). It's like I'll look at my marks and instantly feel depressed and worthless. I talk to a therapist once a week about these type of issues, but I need some public opinion/support on how to live life with my stretch marks and continue to lose weight/get in shape because it's a shame every time I lose weight(50-100lbs) i let my flaws get me down and make me regress. Thank you for your time.

    If you're worried about a girl or someone seeing you with your shirt off and you having stretch marks, I promise you she'd be far more impressed with your ability to successfully lose weight while so many people fail. Fortunately you're young so they'll most likely fade over time.
  • Biggirllittledreams
    Biggirllittledreams Posts: 306 Member
    As someone whose delivered a baby, and has the stretchmarks to prove it, own them. Who cares if they're there? If / when you get to your goal, be proud of them. Who gives a crap if you have stretch marks if you managed to do what many aren't doing - getting healthy!! When I hit my goal I will wear a bikini and I don't give a care who looks at my stretch marks! I made, carried & delivered a baby and they are my proof. You need to own your body, and be proud of your accomplishments. They DO fade in time, though no they will never go away without surgery. Chin up hunny!

    AMEN.

    I personally view stretch marks as a form of scars, and scars are something I've thought quite a lot about as I used to have a serious self injury problem. I have a lot of keloid scars on my stomach, breasts, and thighs. So people tend to assume that they're stretch marks, even though I've never had a stretch mark (at least not that I'm aware of).

    Scars show that your body endured something. They show that you were able to survive something and come out the other side, and they show that you changed in result of that experience. They are merely a physical manifestation of the changes you're working hard to create, in terms of having a healthier body- and those changes aren't easy!

    I know it's hard to really hard to accept our bodies with how incredibly critical the media is- but you have to remember that the media literally profits off of our insecurities. If you don't believe me, look at the number of creams you just tried, with the hopes of fading your stretch marks. That all goes to the cosmetic industry, who would quite frankly be broke if we didn't feel so dang insecure about ourselves all the time. It's truly revolutionary to love your body, for how it used to be, how it currently is, and all the wonderful things it will be capable of in the future.

    Security and confidence are internal processes, and not anything that really comes about with external change. So many people I've come across feel as though their confidence will improve and their insecurity will vanish once they are able to lose weight or tone up, but if anything I've yet to come across a person who truly experiences that. If you want to be confident, then be confident! Love your body for it's magnificent changes, and wake up everyday making the tough and challenging choice to love your body to the best of it's ability. You don't have to do this every day, but you can at least try. :)

    I was going to link you to a Tumblr I used to follow, about accepting stretchmarks....but I'm happy I checked the link BEFORE i sent it to you. Since, it's become a fetish blog for stretch marks- NOT at ALL what it used to be.

    Much love!
  • Chezzie84
    Chezzie84 Posts: 873 Member
    It's refreshing to hear a man has self confidence issues with stretch marks.
    It's all well and good everyone telling him not to feel self consious about it when everyone has something they hate, this is his (mine is a big fat belly).

    However, the right women will love you for who you are, stretch marks and all. But for your own peice of mind, I reccommend Palmers Coconut Moisturiser or Bio Oil.
  • alereck
    alereck Posts: 343 Member
    I got my first set of stretch marks when I had a growth spurt at the age of 13. All along the side of my thighs, not very sexy for a teenager. Over the years I've collected quite a variety, over my boobs, butt and most recently all over my belly. I had two kids and the stretch marks on my belly are the thickness of a lion's claw.

    Once I lost weight I stopped obsessing over them so much. I still hate them but when I look in the mirror I don't focus on them anymore. I focus on my upper ab where I can see some packs, and my shoulders. I realize that other people do the same when they look at me.

    Everyone has them, some of us more than others but no one cares as much about them as we do. I know it’s hard but try to let it go. Once you start losing more weight and loving your body more you will see they will become less and less important.

    Good luck!
  • CierraEstelle
    CierraEstelle Posts: 30 Member
    I know the pain of what it's like to have stretch marks. I have been overweight since I was 9 years old, and around 12 years old I started getting stretch marks. All over. I used to be really ashamed, but I have noticed that most people close to me don't seem to notice/care because they care for who I am on the inside. These are the kinds of people we should surround ourselves with <3 and, if this makes you feel any better.... stretch marks will shrink, and lighten in color with weight loss. I've noticed this myself, mine are definitely not as wide as they used to be. Losing weight will definitely give you more confidence, so you should just focus on that first. One step at a time. Good luck to you!