Not sure how to deal

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PeacefulBalance
PeacefulBalance Posts: 473 Member
in Getting Started
Hey so I have had a rough week and found out if I don't get things back on track I will end up in higher care. I also found out my grandma is doing really bad so my depression is higher. I know I have to gain yet I can't get myself motivated to do so. I hate feeling full and feeling like I've had too much. I hate feeling heavier. I don't know how to get over this. I'm 5'6.5 and about 103 right now. The rate that I have been going has bed losing 1 lb a week which is pretty fast. I don't know how to turn things around. I can't seem to make myself.

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  • melaniecheeks
    melaniecheeks Posts: 6,349 Member
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    Make yourself a list of 3 things you should do. Tick each one off as you achieve it, and give yourself a pat on the back.
  • Unfledgedkitty
    Unfledgedkitty Posts: 45 Member
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    Make yourself a list of 3 things you should do. Tick each one off as you achieve it, and give yourself a pat on the back.

    As she said, this will help :)

    it is hard to get in routine, but a list does help :), i know how you feel (i suffer from depression), nothing worse then coming to the end of the week and feeling down... but several things help me massively :)

    1. Feel good about yourself no matter what and treat yourself :) - i know we are on two different journeys, but we are looking to improve ourselves... when i get in a rut and feel down, i beat myself up sooo badly that i want to cry, but then i just go for a walk or talk to someone and 9/10 it helps :)

    2. Talk to your friends and family :) - easier said then done i know, i am not good at showing my feelings, but when you do, you will feel so much better :)

    3. Take a deep breath and know that you're doing an amazing job. It isn't easy for me, and i can imagine its the same for you :(, but do know you are doing an amazing job, and you've got us to support, you got your fiance, and family to help you :) keep going :D

    have a Meowtastic day :D - (hope this has helped a little bit)
  • jdad1
    jdad1 Posts: 1,899 Member
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    Make yourself a list of 3 things you should do. Tick each one off as you achieve it, and give yourself a pat on the back.



    ^^^ this
  • bwogilvie
    bwogilvie Posts: 2,130 Member
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    I hope you're seeing a professional about this. If not, do so ASAP.

    My amateur advice: Have you thought about weightlifting? Not those teeny 3-lb. weights that you see in Target, but serious weightlifting (such as Stronglifts 5x5: http://stronglifts.com/5x5/)? To lift heavy, you need to build muscle, which means eating more, and especially eating more protein. Eating properly becomes a means to a different end: making progress with your lifting. Perhaps that would help refocus things.

    Lifting also might help with any underlying body image problems. The research that I could find is suggestive rather than convincing (see http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/8002923), but it shows promise. Women who lift heavy get strong and heavy but can remain slim: Staci, who was featured on Nerd Fitness, looks slimmer at 142 lb. after heavy lifting than she did at 117 lb. after lots of cardio. (http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2011/07/21/meet-staci-your-new-powerlifting-super-hero)

    Good luck, and do see a professional if you're not doing so already.
  • karmac0matic
    karmac0matic Posts: 285
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    I hope you're seeing a professional about this. If not, do so ASAP.

    My amateur advice: Have you thought about weightlifting? Not those teeny 3-lb. weights that you see in Target, but serious weightlifting (such as Stronglifts 5x5: http://stronglifts.com/5x5/)? To lift heavy, you need to build muscle, which means eating more, and especially eating more protein. Eating properly becomes a means to a different end: making progress with your lifting. Perhaps that would help refocus things.

    Lifting also might help with any underlying body image problems. The research that I could find is suggestive rather than convincing (see http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/8002923), but it shows promise. Women who lift heavy get strong and heavy but can remain slim: Staci, who was featured on Nerd Fitness, looks slimmer at 142 lb. after heavy lifting than she did at 117 lb. after lots of cardio. (http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2011/07/21/meet-staci-your-new-powerlifting-super-hero)

    Good luck, and do see a professional if you're not doing so already.

    Do you know how frustrating it is to be told by people to see a professional for this? I think it's her choice and if she has chosen to great, if not, great.

    I know I personally cannot stand people continuously saying "GET HELP!!!" for things... it doesn't do anything but make me more anxious. Just letting you know.
  • PeacefulBalance
    PeacefulBalance Posts: 473 Member
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    Thanks everyone for your help, it means a lot. My depression is definitely high which doesn't help. And I do have a dietitian and therapist that I see weekly and they are part of a program for eating disorders so I am well taken care of for that. It's just my own head that doesn't seem to behave.
  • keobooks
    keobooks Posts: 92 Member
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    Usually these days, therapists are required to set concrete goals for their clients. Ask your therapist what the bare minimum weight gain or weight retention would be that would appease her (or your team, if you are in a program with multiple people) They definitely have a goal with numbers in their heads when they are deciding which of their clients need a higher level of care.

    They may be hesitant to tell you, because ana is all about control and they may fear you'll do exactly what I say is a good idea. Shoot for the bare minimum. Do exactly what you need to do to keep out of residential care or whatever the next level is. Trick yourself into saying that YOU'RE the one in control and even though you're gaining or simply maintaining, it's your choice to because you don't want the alternative. This is not the time to over-achieve and do a stellar job for the docs. Just barely scrape by. Then you appease the docs and still feel like you are doing the control.

    I was never in for ana, but when I was younger, I had a terrible school phobia. I skipped so much school, I was almost held back a year. I was taken to a therapist and told that if I didn't go back to school on X day and stayed for X number of weeks, I'd be put in lock down (what they did for troubled teens in the 80's) I went back to school and signed in for attendance. But I skipped all my classes but home room for the first week. I hid in the theater's green room bathroom the rest of the time. The bare minimum required for me was just get out of the house and show up, but they never said anything about actually going to classes. So that's what I did. I did that until I could gradually coax myself to go to one class and then another. Some people may say that's not the healthiest way to go, but when you're not fully up to doing the 100% right thing, the bare minimum is just going to have to do.

    If you can't bring yourself to do the bare minimum, perhaps the next level is a good place for you for a while. Not being able to do the bare minimum to stay out of the next level of care means that you've lost control and the ana is now in control -- not you. Residential care sucks, but it's not the end of the world. But it still really sucks, I know.
  • RLMsFitnessPal
    RLMsFitnessPal Posts: 81 Member
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    I suffer from depression and anxiety, myself. Tackling my diet, fitness, and sleep habits is part of my own efforts to manage it. My doctor has strongly emphasized that my cholesterol and weight are a concern. In fact, she recently prescribed atorvastatin (generic Lipitor) to help lower my cholesterol as well as suggesting that I take an Omega 3 supplement. She did encourage me by pointing out that there is still time, it's not too late to make changes for the better.

    I also take fluoxetine (generic Prozac) and Wellbutrin for my depression and anxiety. My doctor also prescribed Podiapn, which is a prescription-strength vitamin supplement. It seems to be helping, but medication only helps so much. The thing to remember is that depression and anxiety can really distort your mindset without you realizing it. It sounds like you're aware of that based on your post. That will be helpful. Just don't beat yourself up if you feel it is taking you over. That's going to happen from time to time. I was having a bout of it yesterday, and there was no particular reason. It sometimes just flares up and won't go away easily.

    It's hard to carry on when all you want to do is get away from everyone and everything. At least, that's usually how it manifests itself within me. I just feel extremely irritable and grouchy toward everyone and everything. Then it gets worse when everyone starts asking why I'm being quiet and moody. The worst is when people say I should snap out of it, smile, or what have you. They may mean well, but they just don't seem to get it.

    Beyond that, I have no real answers. Just want to reassure you that you're not alone.

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