Just a rant to keep myself distracted

KameHameHaaa
KameHameHaaa Posts: 244 Member
in Motivation and Support
I'm just going to start out by saying I'm about 50 lbs down in my journey so far. I still have 200 lbs to go.
I've been morbidly obese my ENTIRE life. Not just overweight, morbidly obese even as a child.
I'm 29 and the oldest of 8 (5 girls, 3 boys) and.....I'm the only fat sister.
On top of that I recently moved back in with my parents temporarily, so I'm seeing 2 of them who also still live at home quite often..

Well I was looking to make a small snack in the kitchen just now, I typically eat every 3 or 4 hours to keep myself from getting really hungry and binge eating later in the night. My sister was in there as well doing dishes and I think maybe it irked her that I was "in her space" for the moment. So I just said I was making a snack and would be out of her way shortly...her reply? "We had lunch already" So I go "That was over 3 hours ago..." and she goes "Yeah, well, I ate the same thing you did and I'm not hungry sooo sounds like a you problem"

Anyway I know that wasn't much, I shouldn't fret over it blahblahblah. I'm just a very emotional person and an emotional eater, dealing with depression, suicidal thoughts and low (if any) self-esteem. I felt like distracting myself by typing on here would maybe keep me distracted so I don't eat half the kitchen because of how upset I got. I just feel like no one here really understands how I feel or what I'm doing to try to change my life. I've been fat my entire life IT'S ALL I KNOW, and I've been using this website to re-learn how I should have been living this entire time..

That's really it...if you read it, thanks. If you didn't, that's cool too. Honestly I just needed to type something. Happy Sunday, can't wait for GoT tonight :)

Replies

  • Newtonville
    Newtonville Posts: 5 Member
    Good for you for "ranting" about it and not eating about it. Forget the hurtful comments. Shake it off and move on. You've lost 50 pounds (!) so you must be doing something right. Keep it up!
  • Samthefrog
    Samthefrog Posts: 77 Member
    Your first line is exactly me! About 50 lbs lost and 200 to go! I also have less than supportive family members. That's awesome that you chose to write instead of eat! The more healthy activities you can find, the better! The more healthy weapons you have to combat all the nasty comments and feelings, the better!

    If those suicidal thoughts start to become suicidal plans, please talk to someone. Because you need to be here to get there (your weight loss journey)! ((Hugs))
  • KameHameHaaa
    KameHameHaaa Posts: 244 Member
    Thank you guys so much for both of your responses :) I feel A LOT better now, just needed to get that stuff off my chest.
  • oChristyo
    oChristyo Posts: 61 Member
    It's so hard to be an emotional eater. That's me too! By writing instead of eating you won that little battle. You do have to take it one moment at a time. Think of how far you've come already. 50 pounds lost is a huge accomplishment. Don't let someone else's stupid words ruin your progress. Good luck in your journey and take care of yourself. Do it for yourself!
  • ChaplainHeavin
    ChaplainHeavin Posts: 426 Member
    I'm just going to start out by saying I'm about 50 lbs down in my journey so far. I still have 200 lbs to go.
    I've been morbidly obese my ENTIRE life. Not just overweight, morbidly obese even as a child.
    I'm 29 and the oldest of 8 (5 girls, 3 boys) and.....I'm the only fat sister.
    On top of that I recently moved back in with my parents temporarily, so I'm seeing 2 of them who also still live at home quite often..

    Well I was looking to make a small snack in the kitchen just now, I typically eat every 3 or 4 hours to keep myself from getting really hungry and binge eating later in the night. My sister was in there as well doing dishes and I think maybe it irked her that I was "in her space" for the moment. So I just said I was making a snack and would be out of her way shortly...her reply? "We had lunch already" So I go "That was over 3 hours ago..." and she goes "Yeah, well, I ate the same thing you did and I'm not hungry sooo sounds like a you problem"

    Anyway I know that wasn't much, I shouldn't fret over it blahblahblah. I'm just a very emotional person and an emotional eater, dealing with depression, suicidal thoughts and low (if any) self-esteem. I felt like distracting myself by typing on here would maybe keep me distracted so I don't eat half the kitchen because of how upset I got. I just feel like no one here really understands how I feel or what I'm doing to try to change my life. I've been fat my entire life IT'S ALL I KNOW, and I've been using this website to re-learn how I should have been living this entire time..

    That's really it...if you read it, thanks. If you didn't, that's cool too. Honestly I just needed to type something. Happy Sunday, can't wait for GoT tonight :)

    Happy Sunday. You made a wise choice.
  • PJPrimrose
    PJPrimrose Posts: 916 Member
    You DID make a wise choice! Sibs can get under the skin in RECORD setting time, can they not? Actually, that might be family members in general. If I get seriously ticked and feel as though I'm going to say something I regret (I stop eating when upset) I go for a walk. Or jerk weeds out of the garden by their roots in a hateful act of vengeance. I had the least weeds in the whole neighborhood when my son was a teenager...

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