Friend request

Goofyrunnergirl
Goofyrunnergirl Posts: 45
in Motivation and Support
This might be the wrong board for this topic, but I'll ask anyways. How do you feel about "friends" that don't show their diary? And, is there a way to determine this before friending someone (say they sent you a friend request)?

I really am interested in what people eat. It has introduced me to so many new foods, or convinced me to give certain foods a 2nd chance. I really don't want to get updates that so-and-so completed their food diary and was under their goal, and then you can't see the diary. Should I maybe add this disclaimer to my profile so people know not to send me a friend request if they won't show their diary? I know, I sound like a b**ch.

Thanks for your thoughts.

Replies

  • karmac0matic
    karmac0matic Posts: 285
    I don't mind not seeing their diaries. Because I understand how triggering it can be for some people to admit to others what they've had, or how embarrassed some people become. It's just a matter of understanding how people think and what they want to reveal.

    I'm very open myself yet I don't want to be triggering (since I am friends with some people with eating disorders or some in recovery or just some that like to bug me to fix my eating) so I keep my diary private.

    I dunno, just doesn't bug me to not view everyone's foods. It's nice once in a while to check someone's out but I don't ever like comparing myself to anyone else and I feel like I would if I got too carried away looking at others' journals.
  • FlaxMilk
    FlaxMilk Posts: 3,452 Member
    I don't think it's rude to choose what will motivate you. I say that as someone with a closed diary.
  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 18,341 Member
    My diary isn't public because I calorie cycle and I got sick of defending my 1100 calorie day when I knew full well that the next day was going to be 2500. I love the support I get here and I don't think that people need to be able to see every thing that goes in my mouth to give that support. If they don't agree, then I guess they unfriend me. That doesn't offend me, each to their own. I'm also not really one to review other people's diaries or to WTG a diary posting at the end of the day.

    If I wanted or needed help with my intake, I'd open it, but so far I haven't and so any comments on my intake would be unsolicited.

    In response to your query, if you go to someone's profile and you can click "View Diary" but it then comes up with "XX's diary is viewable to friends only", you know. If the button is missing altogether, then their diary is likely private.
  • mell4now
    mell4now Posts: 33 Member
    I think sometimes people might not realize it's set to "private". I personally don't mind having mine open because it helps keep me honest, but I did receive a bit of criticism regarding some of my choices (despite being under my calorie goal ) which almost prompted me to close it, however I thought otherwise and left it open regardless of what people had to say about my frozen pizza(((( lol!!!)))
  • Carley
    Carley Posts: 88
    Personally doesn't bother me if they have it private. Maybe we should ask why does it bother you?
  • __Di__
    __Di__ Posts: 1,659 Member
    Mine is set to private, deliberately. This is because, a person that used to be on my friend's list PMed me one day and said, that for the amount of exercise I do, I am not eating enough. She then promptly unfriended me.

    Her views, her opinion, both of which were wrong as she should have minded her own business, I never asked for her opinion, she chose to force it onto me. I, therefore, closed my diary.
  • xWendyJonesx
    xWendyJonesx Posts: 266 Member
    My diary is open to my friends.
    I've recently added some new friends who have their diaries set to private, I find it hard to help and encourage them if I can't see what they are eating.
    I think it's a great way to get meal ideas, I've tried so many new foods since reading other peoples diaries. It also stops me from eating too many bad things as I feel ashamed of what my friends will see and say.

    Feel free to add me as a friend if you want to see what I eat.
  • Goofyrunnergirl
    Goofyrunnergirl Posts: 45
    Personally doesn't bother me if they have it private. Maybe we should ask why does it bother you?

    I stated above why I am interested in seeing it.
  • Goofyrunnergirl
    Goofyrunnergirl Posts: 45
    My diary isn't public because I calorie cycle and I got sick of defending my 1100 calorie day when I knew full well that the next day was going to be 2500. I love the support I get here and I don't think that people need to be able to see every thing that goes in my mouth to give that support. If they don't agree, then I guess they unfriend me. That doesn't offend me, each to their own. I'm also not really one to review other people's diaries or to WTG a diary posting at the end of the day.

    If I wanted or needed help with my intake, I'd open it, but so far I haven't and so any comments on my intake would be unsolicited.

    In response to your query, if you go to someone's profile and you can click "View Diary" but it then comes up with "XX's diary is viewable to friends only", you know. If the button is missing altogether, then their diary is likely private.

    From that regards, I do understand why people would set their diaries to private. I'm not here to judge how other people eat. I do however, use it as a way to learn.

    Thank you for telling me how to check!
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    generally i ask pals to have open diaries... i have a few who dont, but i would never comment on a diary completion that i hadnt looked at. i feel i am better able to support my pals, and offer advice if asked, if i know what their routine is like, diet and exercise-wise.

    its very much each to their own i think!
  • melb_alex
    melb_alex Posts: 1,154 Member
    from my perspective it's the same that I give to my fellow supporters... I don't discriminate but at the same time how can I help you? I genuinely review food diaries and in the same respect always keep mine open.
  • katkins73
    katkins73 Posts: 416 Member
    I don't have my diary open and that is partly because half of it is in Danish! I am happy with what I am doing food wise and I also don't want comments the days I don't eat so much because I was not hungry and would rather save cals for another day!
  • silmarilliane
    silmarilliane Posts: 133 Member
    i have my diary open to friends as i like to get food ideas (and be nosey) from my friends' diaries. it does bug me sometimes when i see 'so and so completed and was under' with a closed diary - especially when they complete their diary at 10am!

    i feel that having my diary open makes me more accountable but it has occasionally made me want to lie a bit on there as i know other people can see it, haha! feel free to add me if you want to have a nose through my diary :)

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