negative weight loss comment from MIL

i am thinking of not telling anyone else what my goals are.

Bingo

Me too. I've lost 37 lbs. People ask me how much more I have to lose and I simply smile and tell them, "I'm just going with the flow to see where this goes."

I just say "All of it." and leave them speechless.

To put her comments in perspective, she sounds like she is not the sort of woman to be supportive or tactful. So her opinions should be discounted in their entirety. I bet if you think about it you could quickly think of examples of her tearing down other members of the family, either to their face or behind their backs.

I wouldn't clam up entirely with all people about your goals. But be selective: look for people who are generally positive about life and secure in their own self worth (not threatened by other people succeeding). Also good if you can find people who have had similar struggles and the same or a little bit more success then you (someone who is a year farther along in his/her weight loss journey could be a big inspiration for you).

I think people are really bad at picturing what a certain weight or size is going to look like. I remember a male friend telling me I was going to be too skinny at my goal years ago, but I wasn't. He was among the first to tell me how fabulous I looked when I got to goal.

As someone said before: you own it. Live in your own body, be comfortable doing it. It's really nobody else's business (most of the time, sometimes we need a doctor or other outside feedback).

when asked, my goal is usually "when I am there, i'll know it."

because that's what it really is. Sure I have made arbitrary numerical goals, but once i got to those places, i looked at myself and said "nope. not there yet" and I kept going.

I think some people simply prefer bigger women. Maybe because it's what they're used to seeing or being around. But you need to choose a goal that is good for you that will keep you healthy in the years to come. The problems associated with being overweight get worse as one gets older, so even though some people prefer a bigger size they really need to lose the extra weight.

I just say "ok" and then do whatever the hell i was going to do in the first place. She's just your mother in law.

i am discussing with my mother in law today that i would like to be a goal size of about 5/6. i am 5'7" that will put me around 135. she has the nerve to tell me i looked gross when i was thin 12 years ago. (122lbs size 4) she tells me i would look better about a size 10 putting me around 155lbs. i told her i will still be a healthy weight for my height. this coming from a woman who is 5'1 " and says she would love to weigh 80lbs. she really crushed my goal bubble. she was not the first to pop my weight goal bubble. i am thinking of not telling anyone else what my goals are.

Never tell people your goal. They'll invision something entirely different and it is never good. Just keep on doing what you are doing and she can eat mud later.

I told a family member how my goal weight is around 120 (eventually) and I was told I'd look gross. This taught me to not open up about my goals to just anybody! Lol

In general telling people your goals can actually help you achieve it, as there is then a sort of assumed peer pressure in your own mind to achieve it so as to not look like a failure. When you do that though you are going to risk the gibberish of naysayers, you just have to be strong and stick to your convictions.

With weight loss especially though so many people who have absolutely no clue what they are talking about, what is healthy, etc, yet are bizarrely and irrationally convinced they know it all and you know nothing. You can drop truck loads of science on these people, show them the studies, quote medical journals directly, etc etc etc, and the more you try the more convinced they will become that you are wrong and your goals are unhealthy.

I do my homework... I know what my healthy weight range is etc... my goals fit in with that... and I have 1 other person in this world whose opinions on the matter I seek out and pay very close attention to... they know what they are talking about... and they provide a trusted and more objective perspective than I can always ensure from myself... while I consider any rational, well thought out, scientifically backed arguments to the contrary of my own current thinking, aside from that EVERYONE else can go fly a kite and my goals are none of their business.

Any more the most specific I will be with the "everyone else" crowd is that my goal is to "lose the excess fat, get in shape, and live healthy" or something along those lines. Actual LBs, BF%, etc, I only discuss with people who I know already know what they are talking about at least to some degree, and only my 1 trusted confidante is taken very seriously when offering any kind of opposing advice or view to what I had already concluded from my own research, reading here, googling etc.

It's a balance, you have to have thick skin and ignore the people who know not of what they speak, think for yourself, and be open to opposing views when they come from well informed and trust worthy sources.

You just stick with the goal you want, you know where you will be happy and healthy.

I did it, and you can too! :-)