negative weight loss comment from MIL

I just say "ok" and then do whatever the hell i was going to do in the first place. She's just your mother in law.

i am discussing with my mother in law today that i would like to be a goal size of about 5/6. i am 5'7" that will put me around 135. she has the nerve to tell me i looked gross when i was thin 12 years ago. (122lbs size 4) she tells me i would look better about a size 10 putting me around 155lbs. i told her i will still be a healthy weight for my height. this coming from a woman who is 5'1 " and says she would love to weigh 80lbs. she really crushed my goal bubble. she was not the first to pop my weight goal bubble. i am thinking of not telling anyone else what my goals are.

Never tell people your goal. They'll invision something entirely different and it is never good. Just keep on doing what you are doing and she can eat mud later.

I told a family member how my goal weight is around 120 (eventually) and I was told I'd look gross. This taught me to not open up about my goals to just anybody! Lol

In general telling people your goals can actually help you achieve it, as there is then a sort of assumed peer pressure in your own mind to achieve it so as to not look like a failure. When you do that though you are going to risk the gibberish of naysayers, you just have to be strong and stick to your convictions.

With weight loss especially though so many people who have absolutely no clue what they are talking about, what is healthy, etc, yet are bizarrely and irrationally convinced they know it all and you know nothing. You can drop truck loads of science on these people, show them the studies, quote medical journals directly, etc etc etc, and the more you try the more convinced they will become that you are wrong and your goals are unhealthy.

I do my homework... I know what my healthy weight range is etc... my goals fit in with that... and I have 1 other person in this world whose opinions on the matter I seek out and pay very close attention to... they know what they are talking about... and they provide a trusted and more objective perspective than I can always ensure from myself... while I consider any rational, well thought out, scientifically backed arguments to the contrary of my own current thinking, aside from that EVERYONE else can go fly a kite and my goals are none of their business.

Any more the most specific I will be with the "everyone else" crowd is that my goal is to "lose the excess fat, get in shape, and live healthy" or something along those lines. Actual LBs, BF%, etc, I only discuss with people who I know already know what they are talking about at least to some degree, and only my 1 trusted confidante is taken very seriously when offering any kind of opposing advice or view to what I had already concluded from my own research, reading here, googling etc.

It's a balance, you have to have thick skin and ignore the people who know not of what they speak, think for yourself, and be open to opposing views when they come from well informed and trust worthy sources.

You just stick with the goal you want, you know where you will be happy and healthy.

I did it, and you can too! :-)

If that's what you want you go for it girl. Don't let her put you down and pop your damn bubble. You go for what you want. She should be supportive but i know that some people just aren't a lot of times. And maybe she is jealous because you want to get down to that goal who knows.

Tell people what you want, just don't let them give you advice if it's going to be negative! (:

One would think a MIL would be a cheerleader, but sometimes they aren't. My sister's MIL was the one who butted in a year 1/2 ago at Thanksgiving. My BIL's brother had asked how I was losing the weight, and I started telling him - he seemed really nice and genuinely interested and somehow the thought of weight loss surgery came into the discussion, and I said I hadn't done it because (at that time) I was losing weight on a consistent basis, and was going to ride that wave as long as I could. She butted in saying that my whole family just researches things to death instead of just going ahead and doing something that would help. I just got up and left. I can't believe I had my armor built up so well then!!!

There are some people who just aren't the best people to share information with. Now that you know - you can cater your message a little better, and know just not to engage in conversation on the topic.

I'd like to get down to about 140. Someone at work giggled that there wouldn't be anything left of me - I giggled right back saying that that was the point!!!