Bariatric surgery? Or not? I may be chickening out...

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I'm looking for individuals who have started down the path of Bariatric Surgery only to decide NOT to proceed and focus your effort on losing it without surgery.

I am currently on day 5 of my 2 week pre-op diet. Surgery is scheduled for May 19. I have not gotten this far without an immense amount of research and thought. In fact, I have been considering the surgery for 5 years. Earlier this year, I got to the point where I clearly am not losing it on my own (without the "tool" of the gastric sleeve) AND I am miserable in my skin. So here i am, 1 week from surgery and thinking I should give it 1 more go. One major thing that is sparking this is the pre-op diet...weight it coming off, how motivating...

I have to change my lifestyle either way (with or without the sleeve)...so why not do it without going through major surgery?

Anyone out there been at a similar crossroads?
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Replies

  • _Resolve_
    _Resolve_ Posts: 735 Member
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    I never considered it, and don't support it but would think if you have any doubts what-so-ever don't do it... I mean.. I would do just about anything to avoid surgery of any kind. Especially one that may not be necessary.
  • suespac38
    suespac38 Posts: 1
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    I had gastric bypass in 2003, I originally lost over one hundred pounds, I hope you all the best but, if you aren't at least one hundred pounds overweight, I think about it hard. I still have to fight to lose, and on top of that have a lot of health problems. I have kept 70 lbs off, but it's a battle no matter how easy you think it is. Would I go through it again, probably, cause you think well if I can't eat, I'll be skinny. We all find a way, we find other ways. I can't eat ice cream, or a bag of cookies at one time, but I can eat 2 cookies every 10 minutes.
    Good luck
  • elw_az
    elw_az Posts: 4
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    Thanks for the response suespac38. It's so helpful to hear from folks who have a variety of experiences. When you mention that you have a lot of health problems, are they directly related to the surgery? Or health issues you are having to work through regardless of surgery?

    I wish you the best on your journey! I'm learning that the power of unhealthy relationships with food is strong no matter the chosen path to a healthier life.
  • afortunatedragon
    afortunatedragon Posts: 329 Member
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    I had a gastric band surgery 10 years ago.
    If you want to ask any questions send me a PN.

    There is also a comment from me about this in another thread.
  • zillah73
    zillah73 Posts: 505 Member
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    While I was never scheduled for surgery, my physician told me during a visit that I would qualify through my insurance plan if I wanted to pursue it. Hearing that was actually a huge catalyst for my making the changes I needed to make without surgery and I am grateful that I went this route. I have fought for every pound lost and I am proud of myself beyond words. Any surgery comes with its risks, which I am sure you have studied extensively. If you are having success with your pre-opp diet, maybe you should consider letting that momentum carry you.
  • nutmegoreo
    nutmegoreo Posts: 15,532 Member
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    I know you asked for thoughts from others who have been there. I have seen some of the complications that can occur with bypass surgery and would not consider it for myself because of these things. I am certain there are many more surgeries that go well without complications, so I recognize that my viewpoint is likely skewed. I am here simply to say that if you are having doubts of any kind, perhaps postponing the surgery for 6 months would be something to consider. You said you have taken 5 years to get to this point (making the decision and doing research), another 6 months is not that long in the grand scheme. If you would like to add me as a friend, I will support you regardless of the choice you make.
  • rrlwelter
    rrlwelter Posts: 40 Member
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    I backed out of surgery originally, because I was determined that I would "do it the right way." In other words, banging my head against the wall of health too poor to work out, depression, and an eating spiral.

    I finally acknowledged that even with regular nutritionist, therapist, and trainer visits, I was too far gone to do it "the right way."

    I then accepted that I need to do it my right way, and that included bariatric surgery. Still, I freely admit that had they taken 5 minutes longer to prep me that morning, I might have backed out again. Nevertheless, at 4 1/2 years out of surgery, it's been wonderful. I have to work out at least as much as pre-op. I am having to monitor my foods at least as much as pre-op (doggoned pesky metabolic and health issues). But I lost the excess weight and am keeping it off (almost all - I'm now officially normal, like most women in the US, I want to lose 10 pounds, LOL!) and am HEALTHY for the first time in probably 35 years.

    Life after surgery is not a cake walk, and I believe (but support the right of others to disagree) that it should be a last resort. Having said that, it's given me back my life and I will be forever grateful to the medical team that helped me achieve this.
  • Murphy0126
    Murphy0126 Posts: 84 Member
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    The Doctors tried to push gastric bypass surgery on me. I was 415 lbs (430 at my heaviest) and had just suffered a heart attack at 26 years old.

    They told me it would be near impossible for me to lose the weight on my own.

    They told me....

    19 weeks later. I'm down 87 pounds. I jog 5km every second day, increasing it every two weeks in prep for my half marathon in September.

    I've lost 58" around my entire body.

    NOTHING feels as good as proving people wrong. NOTHING feels as good as losing the weight on your own with your own determination and dedication.

    Best of luck in your decision. But I just thought you'd benefit from reading that.
  • AglaeaC
    AglaeaC Posts: 1,974 Member
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    I have no experience from the patient's perspective on this one and I don't judge personal decision. What I would like to ask, however, is something regarding your commitment. You seem to have finally committed to the pre-op lifestyle and so I'm wondering whether you think you would finally be ready to commit to a non-op lifestyle change? I'm just asking because you voice hesitation and surgery is always a huge thing. Maybe you just haven't been quite ready before, but now that a spark has been ignited, you might take the time that you would need to research healthier food choices etc.? Regardless of your choice, good luck!
  • WaterBunnie
    WaterBunnie Posts: 1,370 Member
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    I love my food and the thought of never being physically capable of having a blow out meal for birthdays or Christmas again after having surgery was enough to put me off the idea. It's taken me 2 years to lose 111lbs but it's come with a real sense of achievement from making the right choices (more often) rather than a potentially problematic surgery. I've also built a lot of activity into my life which vastly improved my shape and wellbeing - an op wouldn't have done that for me.
  • Graelwyn75
    Graelwyn75 Posts: 4,404 Member
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    Personally, I think given the right motivation, anyone can lose weight without the need for surgery. I have seen people on this site lose over 300 Ibs without the need for surgery and many with losses of well over 100Ibs. Given the risks of surgery and the fact one has to change their eating habits anyway regardless. i tend to consider losing weight naturally, with a lifestyle change and without surgery, the most sensible option.
  • elw_az
    elw_az Posts: 4
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    Thanks to ALL of you for your input and perspective. I have not made a final decision yet, but I will after my pre-op appointment on Wednesday. I am strongly leaning toward foregoing surgery and keeping up the momentum that I have going so far.

    I have immense respect for anyone who has the courage and strength to change their lifestyle, with or without surgery. Reading your stories is very helpful!
  • crazyavianlady
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    I hope you let us know what you've decided. I'm also on a surgery track after backing out 3 times before. Surgery is a big decision and a major life choice. What finally turned me was when my husband had the surgery. 1 year after he's doing great and very healthy. I'm 53 and have struggled with weight since I was 4 years old. I've had sustained periods of weight loss, the longest was 3 years, but the physical diseases are becoming an issue. I need the support that surgery will give me; it's not a cure, just a very powerful tool to help lifestyle changes along.

    I'd love it if I could lose the over 100 pounds I need to lose and keep it off, but I've been down the road too many times. And wanting to have a "blow out meal" periodically tells me that there's still a problem with food. I don't want to stuff myself until I'm ready to drop. Ever. I want to eat moderately and not feel hungry, which never happens now and didn't when I was at a low weight.

    I'm ready for surgery.
  • saraharnoldnelson
    saraharnoldnelson Posts: 26 Member
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    Statistically, 5% of people with 60 lbs or more to lose take it off AND KEEP IT OFF for 5 or more years. I don't qualify for surgery on my insurance plan, so I am busting my butt to be within that 5%. However, my mom had surgery two years ago - and is incredibly grateful for it. I watched her lose - and gain back - almost 100 lbs multiple times growing up. She is a strong, amazingly accomplished woman but she needed the tool of surgery to meet and keep to her goal.

    I see weight loss surgery to the obese as a tool akin to Anabuse for alcoholics. (Albeit a much more involved tool.) Not everyone needs it, but I think those that do should not be judged for recognizing their need and taking hold of it.
  • psych101
    psych101 Posts: 1,842 Member
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    I thought about it as a morbidly obese teenager, but never really looked into it seriously.

    Can you postpone the surgery date to give yourself a fair shot at what you're doing now? If you're having doubts then I'd really urge you to talk to your doctors. :flowerforyou:
  • MissMaryMac33
    MissMaryMac33 Posts: 1,433 Member
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    I had gastric bypass 5 years ago and it saved my life. I am no longer diabetic, I no longer take statins, I joined a gym. I do the 3-Day (60 mile breast cancer walk) every year, I sign up for 5K's, most of my friends now are from the gym, eat healthy, are fitbit friends, or friends here too.

    My diabetes was reversed immediately which was my motivating factor. (I don't know your situation, but if you are diabetic and have PCOS and you're over 40 it's pretty much impossible to lose weight)

    5 year later -- I have kept 100 of the original 120 I lost off. I have ZERO complications from surgery - in fact I could eat just like anyone else and easily go back where I was. It is a lot of work Sugar doesn't affect me (darn!). The need to fix your emotional eating or mental health issues that got you there in the first place don't go away. Seeing the fat girl in the mirror doesn't go away. I have been tracking my food here for 1000+ days because it keeps me on track and I know I could go backwards so I work hard.

    I would do it again in a heart beat. - BUT if you don't have a good support system, or you live with others who are overweight with no urge to change, you have a bigger battle on your hands. I have seen a few friends go completely backwards after because their husband liked them fat -- kept bringing pizza home for dinner, making fried crap for dinner etc...

    I'm pretty sure most people here who tell you it shouldn't be an option, everyone can lost weight on their own if they try -- probably haven't ever been 100+ pounds overweight with co-morbidities If they were and they did it, more power to them. I'd love to hear how many women over 40 with two insulin resistant diseases managed to do it.

    Only you can decide -- but remember if you're surfing around the internet -- people who aren't happy are the loudest talkers. (In every situation!) Hate a restaurant? Blast it all over the internet .. love the restaurant? Tell your friends. Not many take time to post when they are happy :) The vast majority of WLS patients never post a thing because guess what? it's much more common to have no issues :)

    Sorry for the babble --- I get really annoyed by people who judge or think its the easy way it. It's anything BUT easy - but I know it saved my life.
  • JasonKnight85
    JasonKnight85 Posts: 67 Member
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    I've heard too many negatives from people close to me to ever consider it, but at the end of the day you have to do what is right for you. If you think you can, I would try losing the weight naturally through diet and eventually exercise. if you think you can't... well.

    I just know that from some of my family members and co-workers experiences with it, I'd probably decline. Not that I haven't had a few tell me it was absolutely wonderful and they did lose weight, all of them did actually... but come to think of it... I think a good majority of them also gained most of the weight back a few years later. Which is another reason I'd vote no... but still, I'll give the stage to people who've actually had it. Their answers may help you more in your decision.
  • dmariet116
    dmariet116 Posts: 530 Member
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    Whatever you decide, I wish you the best of luck! You must decide what is best for you! I have someone I love very much who had gastric bypass surgery 5 years ago. She was almost 500 at her top weight. She had a miscarriage and became very depressed. She made the decision to have the surgery after many failed attempts to lose on her own. Today she is healthy, happy and beautiful. She lost 300 pounds. She also had a beautiful son who will be 4 tomorrow. She did have a rough road to travel to get to this point, but I believe she would do it all again.
  • rhondadwyer69
    rhondadwyer69 Posts: 75 Member
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    Statistically, 5% of people with 60 lbs or more to lose take it off AND KEEP IT OFF for 5 or more years. I don't qualify for surgery on my insurance plan, so I am busting my butt to be within that 5%. However, my mom had surgery two years ago - and is incredibly grateful for it. I watched her lose - and gain back - almost 100 lbs multiple times growing up. She is a strong, amazingly accomplished woman but she needed the tool of surgery to meet and keep to her goal.

    I see weight loss surgery to the obese as a tool akin to Anabuse for alcoholics. (Albeit a much more involved tool.) Not everyone needs it, but I think those that do should not be judged for recognizing their need and taking hold of it.

    Thank You! Thank You! Thank You!

    I'm tired of people knocking others for their method of losing weight. I for one am grateful for Herbalife Shakes for helping my sister save her life by assisting her to lose 145 lbs. I am grateful to my bariatric surgeon, dietitians, and psychologists for helping me to make the right decision for me. I had band surgery 2 years ago and I've lost 75 lbs so far. I'm doing well although I will continue to preach that the band is NOT a cure IT IS ONLY A TOOL! It takes just as much hard work to lose weight before the band as it has since I've had the band. I workout faithfully every day and I log all my food. I do struggle at times with wrong food choices, but I am able to see that with logging every day. Losing weight is the hardest job any obese human will ever have to do; regardless of the tools you use to assist you!!! By the way, MFP is a tool used to lose weight - any equipment used in a gym is a tool used to lose weight - surgery is a tool used to lose weight. YOU CANNOT MAKE A BLANKET STATEMENT THAT SURGERY IS NOT A VALID WAY TO LOSE WEIGHT! Yes, it is NOT the right decision for everyone - neither is NOT having surgery a right decision for everyone! In my opinion, obese people should be encouraging one another and celebrating with one another, NOT JUDGING ONE ANOTHER for the tools they are using to lose the weight!

    To the original poster, good luck making the decision for YOU! I pray God gives peace whatever your decision!
  • psitzmary
    psitzmary Posts: 6 Member
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    I agree with nutmegoreo. If you are having doubts, what at least six months.

    I had the surgery in 2000. No complications. I lost 100 lbs. A few years later and due to some other medical situation that came up, (not related to the surgery) i was given three treatments that aided in me putting back on 40 lbs. I have been trying to take off those 40 lbs for the last five years but must also admit that I was taking it seriously until now.

    However; I also have a girlfriend that had the same surgery and developed a little complication a few years later for which they can not fix so she have to be monitored constantly. She has lost all the weight she cared to but now have some health issues.

    One will not know the outcome until you come out. All types of surgeries are a risk.

    My encouragement to me is that I do have the 'tool' to help me with this but as others have stated and I concur, you must make the permanent changes in your life to lose and keep off the weight with the help of surgery or not.

    WLS is a quick fix but if you don't understand how to make the permanent healthy changes you will be right back where you are now.

    Even with the surgery you will still have to do what you are doing now. Maybe not for the first 50-80 lbs but to reach your goal you will.

    So... what's waiting another six months to prove to yourself that you can go all the way and lose the weight... maybe without the surgery?

    Just my two sense...

    Good luck with whichever way you choose. Feel free to email me if you have questions.

    Mary