Emotional maintenance

canadagoose
canadagoose Posts: 4 Member
in Goal: Maintaining Weight
Hello, I've been losing and have now reached my desired weight. 60lbs gone! I have "been there - done that " for over 30 years. I've lost 20lbs, 40lbs, 60lbs, and even 88lbs depending upon my starting weight. I have always lost in a safe manner - no crash diets etc... Then I reach (to me) the dreaded maintenance stage. Upon each journey I feel I have gained more knowledge about my body and what it reacts to. For me it is sugar and a wheat sensitivity. I know if I overdo those I am completely hooked and "drugged" again. Each rebound I have always given myself 5lbs and said I will never go above #lbs. Then when I hit that weight I say I will most definitely won't go beyond #lbs. So forth goes the pattern until I have gained all or more and am totally miserable.

Throughout this loss I have maintained a weigh-in of every 2 weeks. I have done this without ever seeing a gain. I am in fear of seeing the scale fluctuate as I know it will. How do I handle this fear without going over the deep end again. I have been told that just because I am making the journey again it doesn't have to end the same way.

To this point in my life I have no identity connected to maintaining. I am the person who is either gaining weight miserably or losing weight happily. I don't know me as the person maintaining successfully.

Can anybody offer some words of wisdom? My anxiety rises as each weigh-in gets closer. I don't want to stop weighing in altogether. Not knowing my weight drives me nuts.

Thanks,
Andrea

Replies

  • prattiger65
    prattiger65 Posts: 1,657 Member
    Its simple really. Keep weighing yourself every two weeks, if you see a gain over two weigh ins, cut calories back until you are back to maintenance weight. Rinse and repeat.
  • dbanks80
    dbanks80 Posts: 3,685 Member
    Do you exercise daily? You can sometimes go off the deep end but burning calories will help you at least maintain.
  • SezxyStef
    SezxyStef Posts: 15,267 Member
    Since you have hit your desired weight you need to start eating a bit more each week. It is called reverse dieting.

    Adding in 50-100 calories a day for a week or two, rinse repeat until you reach the level at which you aren't losing anymore.

    As for "allowing" for 5lbs up...allow for that as you need to account for water weight...but don't allow for anymore.

    Keep logging and weighing yourself just like you did to lose...
  • oldmike1030
    oldmike1030 Posts: 14 Member
    I feel somewhat similar to you in regards to maintaining. I have gone through at least 5 cycles of up/down 30+ lbs in the last 23 years. Loss was always slow and steady with diet and exercise, gains were always slow and caused by slacking off. Like you I set "action limits", but kind of blew thru them and rationalized it based on what was going on in my life at the time. Eventually I became unhappy enough with myself that I started the weight loss journey again.

    I've now been in maintenance for about 6 weeks. I debated with myself the weigh in schedule. Every week? More or less often? Like you I was anxious about it. This is the first time I am using a tool like MFP to help me maintain and I really want to do it right this time. So I decided to weigh myself every day. Same time of day. I track the results in Excel and keep a running average to really see what's going on. I was too anxious about the once a week approach. What if it was a really good or bad day? How would I react? Frankly I am finding maintaining harder than loosing was, and avoiding the scale was giving me too much anxiety. So I guess I traded my anxiety in for obsession, but so far I'm happy with the results. I've seen overall fluctuations of about +/- 2+ lbs around my goal, with daily variations of 3+ lbs on a couple occasions, but my running average is only +/- 1 lb around my goal, so I am calling it success. Although I am still debating with myself if the goal was correct, and 6 weeks is a short time, I think I'll keep giving this a go
  • JennyCRoberts
    JennyCRoberts Posts: 1
    With weight loss/ maintenance I would say you always need to keep track. Not keeping track you are allowing yourself to get lazy. That is what I have done. I dreaded the scale and didn't even get on it for years. Hence the 59 pound weight gain since marriage and having kids. Now I have lost 29 pounds and on track to lose the rest. You have to reward yourself for the small successes. You already know how to lose the weight. If you get off track for a bit get right back on immediately. This is a journey not a destination. This is just something you can't quit on. It is an ongoing process. It never ends.
  • Spiderkeys
    Spiderkeys Posts: 338 Member
    Funny enough Im weighing myself everyday, if I see an increase I cut back, then a decrease I eat more, changing calorie intake happens serveral times a week for me, I usually like to use the weekends as fasting days as I don't work on weekends so I expect im not burning as much calories.
  • sshintaku
    sshintaku Posts: 228 Member
    When I was losing weight, I weighed myself weekly. Since I have been maintaining, I weigh myself before getting dressed every morning. It really helps keep me in check. If I'm coming off the weekend and had Chinese food and pasta, I see the few pound increase and I know I need to watch it for a few days until those pounds drop again. I think if I didn't weigh myself each day, it would be easier to shrug off a few "bad" meals until they started to pile up and I gained. If I check it before that happens, I don't gain. I've been really successful with this for a few months now.
  • MargaretSobers
    MargaretSobers Posts: 167 Member
    It's good to keep track while following any weight loss program, but concentrating too much to scale is also not good for yourself, you can check your weight ones in two weeks it helps you to know you are going right or not. If your weight is increasing then you have to cut calories and if you are losing weight according to your plan then it's OK. You have to be perfect, so try to be healthy and eat more if you're loosing weight continuously.
  • Webbk2a
    Webbk2a Posts: 9 Member
    Keep tracking your dly cals and keep within your maintenance calorie limit! Then you won't gain! It's not easy. I've been on maintenance for about a yr now. Works for me!
  • spoiledpuppies
    spoiledpuppies Posts: 675 Member
    I disagree--for me--with the people who say not to weigh in every day. I lost 50 pounds about 11 years ago and kept it off pretty well. I weighed in every day while losing and in maintenance. I also saw that on the National Weight Control Registry (of people who have maintained weight loss), it's common for people to weigh in every day. (I always thought it was odd for "experts" to recommend against daily weigh-ins, when the real experts--the maintainers--do weigh in every day.)

    It was only when I stopped daily weigh-ins a few years ago that the scale starting creeping up a few pounds. So I finally committed to reversing that and lost an additional 40+ pounds (down 90 pounds now from 12 years ago). I will absolutely weigh in every day forever. It's important that I don't think much about daily fluctuations and just stay within an acceptable range, which really ends up being just 1-4 pounds.

    I know that some people seem to end up feeling obsessed with the scale. So if you can avoid this, I can't recommend daily weigh-ins strongly enough.
  • ColdPlum
    ColdPlum Posts: 57 Member
    So, who are you if you are not struggling with your weight? You say that you have no maintenance identity...well now's a good time. Can you be a person who cares for health mindfully? Can you be present to who you are without being motivated by fear and anxiety/ For example, "I'm eating well today and exercising because I enjoy feeling this way and want to give myself the foundation from which to leap into today's adventure!" Rather than, "I better follow all of my rules so that I don't get fat and horrible again." Don't just be the overweight you who has lost the weight. Be YOU!!! You, NOW! Best of luck!
  • carwell1955
    carwell1955 Posts: 2 Member
    I can really relate to your post. In 2010, (and this was prior to joining MFP) I lost 50 pounds. Have much more to go and have yo-yo dieted for decades, unfortunately. However, one thing I am doing differently this time is working on the emotional side of my connection to food and my size. What I have learned through this process is that I had a lot of emotional housecleaning to do and have worked with a qualified therapist in this regard (mainly in the area of grieving the many losses I have endured but never really dealt with). It has helped immensely and even though I am only early in the process, already I am feeling different and know that when I reach my goal, I will "deserve" to look and feel good and be healthier, both physically and emotionally. Good luck on your journey.
  • Joseph236
    Joseph236 Posts: 11
    You have fear of gaining weight but i am in depression of loosing weight
    How to loose my weight?

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