Funny Stories/Confessions?? :)

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TamTastic
TamTastic Posts: 19,224 Member
in Chit-Chat
I was in Italy years ago with my friend. She is Catholic and we attended mass at The Vatican and she put some holy water in her water bottle to bring home. It was July and hot...and we were walking around The Roman Forum.....and I said "Hey I'm thirsty" and she had a water bottle. Well two water bottles. And I grabbed the wrong one. Knew immediately as it tasted funny. Back in the hotel she said "Wow I thought I got more than that!!"...and I said "errr maybe it evaporated"....and she said "Ohh yeahh!" lol!....

I actually fessed up to her years later as to why the amount she got was so much less than she had thought! I could barely speak from laughing so hard as I was confessing. There is some irony in there!!

But I think the fact I didn't burst into flame upon drinking the holy water is a good sign! That's my theory anyway!! :laugh:

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  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 17,959 Member
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    When I met my husband, he was temporarily living back at his mum's. One night I was staying over, got up to go to the loo and there is a huge huntsman spider on the window. I didn't turn on the light, but the silhouette of this mo-fo is enough to send me into hysterics.

    I run back into his room, freaking out, in tears and he heads into the bathroom to do the manly thing and get rid of it. A couple minutes later, I hear a bang and then a flush. He comes in, cuddles me, assures me it's dead and gone and we go to sleep.

    The next morning I get up and go to the bathroom and on the window - right where the spider was - is a butterfly decal. The body and the outline of wings make the exact silhouette of a big-*kitten* spider.

    I realise then that he went in, couldnt find the spider, because it didn't exist, faked a bang and a flush and the convinced me it was dead. I didn't know whether to think it was adorable that he killed a non-existent spider for me, or pissed off that he lied and if there HAD been a spider, it would have escaped and could have got me later.

    I told him after we were married that I knew he didn't kill it and it never existed and we had a good giggle :laugh:
  • knitapeace
    knitapeace Posts: 1,013 Member
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    When I met my husband, he was temporarily living back at his mum's. One night I was staying over, got up to go to the loo and there is a huge huntsman spider on the window. I didn't turn on the light, but the silhouette of this mo-fo is enough to send me into hysterics.

    I run back into his room, freaking out, in tears and he heads into the bathroom to do the manly thing and get rid of it. A couple minutes later, I hear a bang and then a flush. He comes in, cuddles me, assures me it's dead and gone and we go to sleep.

    The next morning I get up and go to the bathroom and on the window - right where the spider was - is a butterfly decal. The body and the outline of wings make the exact silhouette of a big-*kitten* spider.

    I realise then that he went in, couldnt find the spider, because it didn't exist, faked a bang and a flush and the convinced me it was dead. I didn't know whether to think it was adorable that he killed a non-existent spider for me, or pissed off that he lied and if there HAD been a spider, it would have escaped and could have got me later.

    I told him after we were married that I knew he didn't kill it and it never existed and we had a good giggle :laugh:

    I. Love. This. Story.
  • TamTastic
    TamTastic Posts: 19,224 Member
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    That's great!! :laugh:
  • TamTastic
    TamTastic Posts: 19,224 Member
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    Friggin spiders.


    Confession: I adjust my boobs all the time. Men adjust their "stuff"..............women adjust boobs. *shrug*
  • kicklikeaGIRL
    kicklikeaGIRL Posts: 867 Member
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    I was in the 7th grade, and despite the fact that I had an obvious jet black unibrow, my mom wouldn't let me get them waxed. She said I wasn't old enough. I had no clue about how to use a tweezers, but I was pretty good at using Bleach creme that I used frequently on my upper lip. (Seriously people....I have black black hair...and puberty didn't treat me well as a young girl...I still am irked my mom didn't help me use a tweezers....but I digress....) Since I had great success with the bleach on my upperlip I decided to try to "touch up" my eyebrows by bleaching the portions I would have wanted waxed. Well......let's just say that my jet black eyebrows turned entirely ORANGE. Yes, blaze ORANGE.

    This all transpired right before summer volleyball practice, so what in the heck was I going to do?? I was freaking out. My mom's eyebrow pencil was light brown and it did NOT cover up my orange brows....so I grabbed her mascara and rubbed that stuff on. It worked!!! HORRAAY!!!

    I get to volleyball practice, and I'm sweating a ton....so I rub my forehead and all I see is black mascara on my hand. The mascara was NOT WATERPROOF! So, my friends start seeing that I have black crap running down my face....and then my loud friend goes "OH MY GOSH, YOUR EYEBROWS ARE ORANGE!!!!!!!!" I didn't know what to do. So, I did what any 7th grade girl would do. I lied. I told them my facewash was too strong and that it turned my eyebrows a different color. So, none of my friends or family members ever used Noxema face wash again. And I'm pretty sure thats why the local department store stopped selling it. Word got around.

    Needless to say....I didn't confess this to my friends until they brought it up a few months ago when we were reminiscing about our awkward junior high days. They could not stop laughing, as they remembered my blaze orange eyebrows, and the demise of Noxema.
  • Guns_N_Buns
    Guns_N_Buns Posts: 1,899 Member
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    Confession: I adjust my boobs all the time. Men adjust their "stuff"..............women adjust boobs. *shrug*

    Ditto.
  • ThisCharmingFellow
    ThisCharmingFellow Posts: 132 Member
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    When I met my husband, he was temporarily living back at his mum's. One night I was staying over, got up to go to the loo and there is a huge huntsman spider on the window. I didn't turn on the light, but the silhouette of this mo-fo is enough to send me into hysterics.

    I run back into his room, freaking out, in tears and he heads into the bathroom to do the manly thing and get rid of it. A couple minutes later, I hear a bang and then a flush. He comes in, cuddles me, assures me it's dead and gone and we go to sleep.

    The next morning I get up and go to the bathroom and on the window - right where the spider was - is a butterfly decal. The body and the outline of wings make the exact silhouette of a big-*kitten* spider.

    I realise then that he went in, couldnt find the spider, because it didn't exist, faked a bang and a flush and the convinced me it was dead. I didn't know whether to think it was adorable that he killed a non-existent spider for me, or pissed off that he lied and if there HAD been a spider, it would have escaped and could have got me later.

    I told him after we were married that I knew he didn't kill it and it never existed and we had a good giggle :laugh:

    I. Love. This. Story.

    Me too. Didn't need to read it this close to bed time however; I do not deal well with spiders at all.
  • plumsparkle
    plumsparkle Posts: 203 Member
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    When I met my husband, he was temporarily living back at his mum's. One night I was staying over, got up to go to the loo and there is a huge huntsman spider on the window. I didn't turn on the light, but the silhouette of this mo-fo is enough to send me into hysterics.

    I run back into his room, freaking out, in tears and he heads into the bathroom to do the manly thing and get rid of it. A couple minutes later, I hear a bang and then a flush. He comes in, cuddles me, assures me it's dead and gone and we go to sleep.

    The next morning I get up and go to the bathroom and on the window - right where the spider was - is a butterfly decal. The body and the outline of wings make the exact silhouette of a big-*kitten* spider.

    I realise then that he went in, couldnt find the spider, because it didn't exist, faked a bang and a flush and the convinced me it was dead. I didn't know whether to think it was adorable that he killed a non-existent spider for me, or pissed off that he lied and if there HAD been a spider, it would have escaped and could have got me later.

    I told him after we were married that I knew he didn't kill it and it never existed and we had a good giggle :laugh:



    Please tell me whereabouts you live so I can add it to my list of "no go cos theres huge scary spiders there' list :noway:

    (and that list includes my garden shed ! :sad:
  • Alisontheice
    Alisontheice Posts: 9,624 Member
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    So I went to the doctor once with a sore throat. He asked if I have lost my appetite to which I replied,
    "No, I just don't feel like eating." He just looked at me with a puzzled look and pretty sure he kind of shook his head.

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