How can I lose weight for the right reasons?

I really don't know what to say here.

You are truly a BEAUTIFUL person!!!

If you want to lose weight... You've got to do it for yourself, otherwise it won't last. :flowerforyou:

Dont worry all men are monsters and you shouldn't lose weight for us.:laugh: On a serious note, if it is a lifestyle change you need to make it for the right reasons, if you want it to stick. If you just need to drop a few # your reasons are your own and do whatever it takes to drop them.

First off, there's nothing inherently wrong with being motivated by the desire to attract guys. No reason to beat yourself up over this. Being more attractive can mean having more choices. You're human, you're female, you're young and healthy... Of course you'd like all teh boyz to fall panting at your feet, as long as they don't drool on your shoes or try to look up your skirt (and if they do that, just kick them).

But that's not what you asked... You asked how you can change your focus.

My suggestion: Pick a goal for yourself that is not based on weight or measurement or appearance, but is based on what you can DO.

It doesn't have to be a big goal, but you keep picking new ones and pushing your limits. A year and a half ago, I set out to walk a mile in a day. Then three miles. Then five. Then ten. I wanted to climb ftive flights of stairs in a day... Then ten... Then 25... And eventually a hundred. Then I wanted to do stair sprints, so I did,

Last year, I wanted to run a mile for the first time in my life. Then I wanted to run for an hour straight. Then I wanted to run a 5k in under 40 minutes. Then I wanted to run a 10-minute mile. Someday I'll do the 10-minute mile, and maybe someday I'll make it an 8-minute mile.

I wanted to start lifting weights, so I did. Then I wanted to bench the bar and deadlift a hundred pounds. Then I wanted to deadlift my body weight. Now I want to do it again, and squat my body weight, and bench 75, and then a hundred. I want to do a regulation push-up, an unassisted chin-up, an unassisted pull-up. I'm slowly clawing my way there.

I wanted to start Krav Maga training, so I did. Then I wanted to make it through a class, and then a seminar. I wanted to make it through heavy bag class and I wanted to REALLY hit the bag. Then I wanted to make it through two consecutive classes. Now I want to make sure I'm utterly, completely exhausted after each class.

It doesn't have to be all tough and sweaty, either. It could be Zumba or dancing or whatever. I saw a cool video of somebody dancing with a hula hoop and said Wow, I wanna do that! First I wanted to just keep a hoop up on my waist like when I was a kid. Then I wanted to dance with it on, learn basic off-body tricks, and someday learn to do the really fancy stuff. I don't know how far I'll get, but trying is fun and mastering a new move makes me all happy and giggly.

Every time you set out to accomplish something and eventually manage it, you feel like RRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAWR!!!! You realize that, given time and drive, you have no limits. And honestly, that's damned sexy. Men seem to be attracted to that, which is a bonus, and constantly pushing yourself also does nice things for your appearance... but the RAWR feels so awesome, the attention is kind of secondary. Being badass is its own reward.

So that's my suggestion, Lizzie. Keep your weight loss and clothing size goals, but find something to increase your power and physicality, and put your body to work on that. What do YOU want to DO?

So I am a little overweight. I have been working out and eating healthily. I tell myself I am doing it for my health, but there is a small voice inside my head telling me to do it so a guy will like me. I know this is wrong. I am losing weight the right way, it has been a slow but steady process. But mentally I feel horrible and I am beating myself up about my appearance. Does anyone have any tips for self-love or how to change my focus? I feel like if I somehow stop thinking about my body image (it's literally 24/7) I will be a lot happier. Please no hate on this thread, I really do not need anymore.

Most people start a weight loss journey for extrinsic reasons. When the reasons become more intrinsic, then you'll be much happier doing it.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

Doing the right thing for the wrong reasons is still doing the right thing. Let's be honest. If you're a bit overweight you'll obsess about it with a new love interest if you're working at it or not. So, just work on it while you obsess about it and stop beating yourself up. You are making progress right?

You really are beautiful! Like you, I could use some lessons in self-love!!!

Honestly, right now, a big part of why I'm doing what I'm doing is because I have an amazing friend who is doing everything she possibly can to help me out in getting healthy. I'm 65, in a wheelchair with arthritis and fibromyalgia, and way too many other health problems. So there is the hope of seeing some of those problems go by the way side.

And there's also the hope (faint, small, nearly invisible) that maybe someday I might find a man who could love me. I just don't think that will ever happen.

Ok, I didn't mean to unload - this was supposed to be a reply to cheer you up. As for what you can do - find things you love and just do them. Find things you want to do, and do them. Maybe treat yourself to a facial/massage/manicure/pedicure regularly (or any combination thereof). And if everything you do is about vanity, or looking better, whatever the reason, you've started on this journey and that's the important part. Best of luck to you as you continue. You will find your motivation! :flowerforyou:

Even if you do it for yourself, there is no guarantee it will last. Not trying to be rude, but it is the truth. I think health should just be part of your lifestyle, and you should try to think more on that. Keep in mind that you might want to impress that guy, but you still want to impress yourself the most. I am losing weight for myself, but I also want to teach abroad. The fear of going aboard and having my weight comment on is a huge factor for me to lose it. So I am still doing it for me.

And what whitebalance said really nailed it too.

Self love is a really importation part of your life. I struggle with this too, and have not a whole lot of advice. Good luck OP :flowerforyou:

I know exactly how you feel. I've been overweight literally my entire life. I decided I would never get a girl lookin like I did so I worked out religiously and got down to 185 from what was a previous high of 260. I suddenly got attention from the ladies and met my eventual ex wife Amber..lol Well she had an affair and left and I found myself at 285 and realizing I needed to find me a lady..lol

"2nd verse same as the first." haha

Now I'm sittin at 203 and I'm starting to get the attention again ( a little bit) and even though I should be excited about weight loss and where I'm at I'm utterly depressed because I am alone.

If I do meet someone it has to be different this time around, I dont wanna gb to the guy I used to be.