Discouraged

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Newbie here and so sad to see so many negative folks on the forum. I had hoped this would be a place for support.
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  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
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    Yeah, there are some supportive folks. Try reading the boards for a while and sending friend requests to those that have similar goals or that you find supportive. Once you build up a few friends you can seek support on your home newsfeed and ignore the forums altogether, if you want.

    You might also check out the groups section and find a group with similar goals or ideals, then you can get support there, without being exposed to all the nonsense on the open forums.

    Best of luck to you.
  • farway
    farway Posts: 1,264 Member
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    As above ^^^^^^^^ friend request sent, ignore the forums for a while and use you chosen MFP friends and the news feeds
  • Tia_N_Mac
    Tia_N_Mac Posts: 181 Member
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    There are MANY positive people here. Please don't let people sitting behind their computers spewing negativity discourage you! I agree with the others - after you add a few friends, you'll start finding what you're looking for. I'm still in the process of losing so feel free to add me if you'd like. You can do this! Good luck to you!
  • vicabra
    vicabra Posts: 56 Member
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    I agree - there are many positive people out there!! Don't let the bad apples ruin it for you. This is a great site and I have personally found friends to be very supportive.
  • Railr0aderTony
    Railr0aderTony Posts: 6,803 Member
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    I would suggest search for groups of your interests or lifestyle, Groups are much more supportive than forums
  • PinkyFett
    PinkyFett Posts: 842 Member
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    Yeah it is rough over here sometimes. There are good people too though.
  • _HeartsOnFire_
    _HeartsOnFire_ Posts: 5,304 Member
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    I'm not going to say there aren't negative people on MFP. However, a lot of times people believe someone is negative when really the person is just being blunt or honest. Blunt/Honesty =/= negative. Sometimes it's hard to hear the truth and sometimes it's exactly what people need to hear.

    But there are plenty of supportive people on MFP. I agree with the other poster who suggested search groups for interests. That's a good place to start.

    ETA: I saw the post in the cutting out sugar thread. I don't think the other person took your opinion and what worked for you as an attack. I'm thinking you took their response that way. The thing to remember, is this is all text, there is no tone. It's all in our perceptions of what we read. I would try not to take things so personally. The sugar threads especially can get a bit out of hand, because well there's one person that posts LOTS of nonsense and tries to scare people from all sugar.
  • melaniecheeks
    melaniecheeks Posts: 6,349 Member
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    MFP won't sugar coat things (haha!)

    There's a lot of great advice, experience and support. Sometimes you need to wade throuhg some trolling and advertising and fadding to get it.

    But it's worth it.
  • MizTerry
    MizTerry Posts: 3,763 Member
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    th?id=HN.607991498952999717&pid=15.1

    It's all in what you make of it. :drinker:
  • ValGogo
    ValGogo Posts: 2,168 Member
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    It is, really.

    But there are trolls and it gets a little hairy sometimes.

    Then there are the few "dingalings" who are clueless and "seemingly" aren't really interested in the slow fix, which is exercise, proper nutrition and common sense.

    So, sometimes the folks here get a little angry. But I agree there are some old-timers here who are really edgy and condescenting and it's quite annoying.
  • GiveMeCoffee
    GiveMeCoffee Posts: 3,556 Member
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    So you jumped into the great Sugar is Evil debate, didn't like the response so now everyone is mean. Sorry it's not mean when people people do not agree with you, or ask you to back it up with science. That's called making sure that bad information doesn't get out there.

    You might want to avoid the carbs are evil, I can't lose weight and I do everything perfectly threads
  • _HeartsOnFire_
    _HeartsOnFire_ Posts: 5,304 Member
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    So you jumped into the great Sugar is Evil debate, didn't like the response so now everyone is mean. Sorry it's not mean when people people do not agree with you, or ask you to back it up with science. That's called making sure that bad information doesn't get out there.

    You might want to avoid the carbs are evil, I can't lose weight and I do everything perfectly threads

    tumblr_lvaqcsFBoD1r3ty02o1_500.gif
  • SpeSHul_SnoflEHk
    SpeSHul_SnoflEHk Posts: 6,256 Member
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    Certain threads are a hot-button topic, and you may have found one of those. I'll tell you a great bit of advice for the forums, that I didn't see in the previous responses.

    Don't assume everyone is atttacking you or yelling at you, when they differ from your opinion. Yes. Some people are short and abrupt. It's because these threads (this one included) get hashed and rehashed over and over again. I just assume if someone says anything against what I say, that they are attempting to engage me in a civil debate. I look at what they say, and try to see if there are any bits of truth there, and change my mind model of the world if there are. As an added bonus, if you take this approach, and the intent was malicious, you will either piss the attacker off, or bore them and they will quit.

    Also, you've been here nearly as long as I have. I wouldn't call you a newbie.
  • cherrilovee
    cherrilovee Posts: 194 Member
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    There's plenty of supportive people to meet on MyFitnessPal! You just need to meet the right people! Anybody can add me as a friend if they want, I promise to be a great motivational, inspirational and supportive friend! :smile: :heart:
  • ValGogo
    ValGogo Posts: 2,168 Member
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    So you jumped into the great Sugar is Evil debate, didn't like the response so now everyone is mean. Sorry it's not mean when people people do not agree with you, or ask you to back it up with science. That's called making sure that bad information doesn't get out there.

    You might want to avoid the carbs are evil, I can't lose weight and I do everything perfectly threads

    tumblr_lvaqcsFBoD1r3ty02o1_500.gif

    oh, is THAT who it is?

    gosh I get so mad when I fall for the "newbie" thing.

    And then after the whole sugar debate, they post ANOTHER rant about how people are mean. Sounds masochistic or may trollic. Why keep asking for criticism after one has had a boat load on another post? Grrrrr :angry:
  • BajaDreamin333
    BajaDreamin333 Posts: 267 Member
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    Here's my suggestion - find a good core group of friends and try to avoid the forums other than perusing info. Sadly the most benign comment / question can indeed get the negative jerks going. I got so much grief over a post stating Skinny Cow products were dangerous (to me - I was only sharing my experience). Seriously, deep seeded anger over an ice cream sandwich! But I love my friends. I seem to keep it at about 30 at any time - people come and go. Find posts by people like you - age or goals or size or gender or any combo, and get your advise and motivation from your news feed.

    I've had great success with this site, losing 25 lbs (10 of which I gained back because I lost touch with my friends!!!) and am working on 15 more. My friends know my struggles and cheer my successes. Wonderful!
  • AllOutof_Bubblegum
    AllOutof_Bubblegum Posts: 3,646 Member
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    If by "negative" you mean "people disagreeing with ridiculous and sometimes downright stupid ideas about weight loss", then yes. You'll meet some of the most "negative" people on the internet here. These "negative" people are the ones who are the most fit, the most educated, and have the most useful information to share. Those are the ones you should be listening to. If you are mature enough to get past the snark and resist the urge to get butthurt, they will become some of the best fitness tools you can get for free online.

    Good luck with your goals.
  • Becre8tive
    Becre8tive Posts: 108 Member
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    I see only a lot of wonderful and supportive people here, especially my friend (thank you guys). It's the water glass look "half full or half empty". My glass is always half full :-)
  • tracyboo107
    tracyboo107 Posts: 11 Member
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    So you jumped into the great Sugar is Evil debate, didn't like the response so now everyone is mean. Sorry it's not mean when people people do not agree with you, or ask you to back it up with science. That's called making sure that bad information doesn't get out there.

    You might want to avoid the carbs are evil, I can't lose weight and I do everything perfectly threads

    tumblr_lvaqcsFBoD1r3ty02o1_500.gif
  • tracyboo107
    tracyboo107 Posts: 11 Member
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    So you jumped into the great Sugar is Evil debate, didn't like the response so now everyone is mean. Sorry it's not mean when people people do not agree with you, or ask you to back it up with science. That's called making sure that bad information doesn't get out there.

    You might want to avoid the carbs are evil, I can't lose weight and I do everything perfectly threads



    AGAIN -- I noted I was merely stating my "personal" experience with sugar reduction and what has changed for the better for me. I never professed to be a scientist nor did I call anyone "mean". I simply stated I was disappointed to see so many negative people on a "support" forum. And not just negative to my post - negative to many many others who had responded in a positive manner. Just seemed like folks wanted to tear each other down rather than building them up. Just a personal observation - no science and no proof. I think the important thing to remember is - what works for one may not work for another. I thought that's why folks share their personal experiences. But seems you must be a doctor or scientist to weigh in with comment.

    Have a blessed day.