50lbs lost - finally feeling a difference!

I've lost a little over 50lbs so far (54, exactly) and I still have a ways to go, but I'm still happy with it. I can tell a difference and I've gotten more and more people saying "wow, you've lost weight!" Everyone wants to know what I'm 'using' to diet - which shakes? what bars? what meds? And while that's not what I'm doing, it still feels good to have people ask! I'm eating better, eating less, and moving more. Once I have a steady income again I'm hoping to find a gym to join and get some help toning a bit as I lose.

This is very, very big to me. My crippling social anxiety is, well, slightly less crippling than normal. I don't shuffle along and hope that no one notices me anymore. Three years ago I caught swine flu, died for a few minutes, and got to relearn to walk and everything. The first few months that I had been out of the hospital, it was so bad that I didn't even leave my house except for physical therapy and doctor visits - people tend to look at you funny when you're 20 and have to ride the little scooters in Walmart or when you have to use a walker to get around. The first time I went to a follow up doctor appointment after the hospital I had a panic attack so bad that I passed out. Now I work in a vet hospital without freaking out because it "smells like a hospital." I'm even feeling brave enough to try going to a gym, which means that I'll probably be surrounded by people in way better shape than me and that doesn't scare me enough to change my mind anymore.

I decided to treat myself to a little vacation, something I haven't done in waaaaaaay too long. I just moved back in with my parents after giving up my apartment so I could do my clinicals 8 hours away from home and I'm realizing how much I miss being on my own, so I need to get away for a little bit. I just graduated college summa cum laude and the top person in my program. I'm alive and kicking (being not-dead is definitely a high point for me). I'm finally getting myself healthy and now that other people see the difference too, they're not nitpicking and teasing me about my food choices anymore.

I think I'm at a good point to reward myself a little bit! I printed my tickets last night for a four day music festival that I'm really looking forward to. I'm a music person, but its been 7 long years since I went to a concert. Way overdue. And I'll be camping during the festival - I've never been camping before, but always wanted to. I just never had anyone to go with. I can't wait! I'm telling myself that this is a graduation/weight loss gift to myself.

Thanks for listening as I rambled on about being proud of myself =] lol