Hello.

Hello everyone.

I would like to introduce myself. My name is Tim. I am from Washington State. I live in the rainy foothills of the Northern Cascades. I am 28 years old, soon to be 29. I have lived in the same county, here at the gateway to the North Cascade National Park, for all of my life. And just like my location, I have been overweight for all of my life.

For as long as I can remember I have been heavy. The first time I ever really knew that I was overweight was in grade school. I can remember the 3rd grade, we had to do a mandatory fitness type exam. Push-ups, pull-ups, sit-ups, sprints. Of course they measure our height and weight. And while I was among the average for most of the categories, my weight was above average for my class. I wasn't ridiculed for it at that age. But it was just the start of what would become a life of unhealthy living. I continued to grow, in age and size.

By the time I was 16 I was 300 lbs. I never really looked at myself in disgust. I knew I was overweight, I accepted it. I was a fat guy. There are lots of fat people in the world and I am one of them. I didn't hate myself for it. But I did get ridiculed by those around me. I would often be poked fun of and teased. It was just how life was. During this time I began to notice the pattern of my unhealthy living. I was an emotional overeater. When I was sad or depressed I would eat. And I would not stop eating until I couldn't fit any more. I got comfort from being full, not just full, but overly full. I was dealing with a lot of life issues at this time and I became severely depressed. Of course, I reached for what comforted me. Food. I could eat 4 microwave burritos and a box of mac n cheese just for dinner. It was very unhealthy.

Of course I was consuming too much and not getting any exercise. So I got bigger. By age 24 I was 400lbs. I was basically a homebody. I was dealing with many of my own disorders other than my unhealthy eating. Anxiety, Depression, Panic attacks, Agoraphobia. They all kept me home, kept me down, and kept me hungry.

The big breaking moment for me, was one day when I was talking to my therapist. A discussion which I do not believe I should share, but the end result was her telling me that I was unattractive. I do not believe she meant it in a malicious way, but she said it. I was unattractive. I was fat. At that moment, I knew I had to change my life. I had nothing left in life to lose.

I began to watch what I ate and how I lived. I didn't exercise much but I did begin to count my calories and the weight did come off. It has been a rollercoaster of ups and downs, both emotionally and physically. Battling depression that causes you to overeat is not easy. I lost a lot of weight. At my "lowest", I had a recorded weight of 234lbs. I was very proud of that weight. But I didn't achieve it through healthy methods. I was nearly starving myself to achieve it. I started to eat normally again after that weight recording. Bumping my calories up to nearly 2000. But I started to balloon up. I would be gaining pounds a day. And I shortly found myself up to 250. It made me depressed to be back up here, and with some additional things in my life bringing me down, I resorted to my old ways. I began eating and eating.

I now sit at 300 lbs. 299.3 to be exact. I am not happy. I am very unhappy actually. But I need to do this. I need to lose weight. I need to bring myself down back to where I can wear the clothes I purchased. I am down to wearing 3 shirts, ones I had saved to be my "fat shirts". My old clothes no longer fit me comfortably and I am in a panic. I have been to this website several times. I have tried it and then got lazy and stopped keeping up on it. I need to be accountable. I need to hold myself accountable. I need to do this.

My name is Tim. I enjoy reading, watching foreign films, playing video games, and going for road trips. I would like to lose 100lbs. I would like to get there by the time I am 30. When I get to my goal, I plan to purchase a new suit for myself in celebration. I have never owned a suit.

If you managed to read this far, I thank you for letting me share my story. It is not easy for me to share it.