I'm so addicted to food and I feel so alone! :(

I'm 23 years old and in the past 4 years I have been from 255lbs to 180lbs to 220lbs to 147lbs and now 244lbs! I'm so addicted to food and I feel so alone and out of control. No one understands how hard it is. I spend so much money on healthy foods and then I just end up going into debt buying junk food like pizza or McDonald's. I closet eat when my boyfriend is at work, I hate exercising and my family just tells me to suck it up. I just need a friend for support who understands and can help me. I don't have the money for a trainer or a nutritionist I tried that already and I do good for a week then go back to junk. I bought my first place on my own at 21 I live a pretty stressful life and I need help! Anyone out there with a big heart could really save me right now!

Replies

  • RonnieLodge
    RonnieLodge Posts: 665 Member
    Hey, you bought a place at 21 years old, why can't you be your own savior with a big heart?
  • I wish I could. I feel like the Times I lost weight nothing could stop me and now I feel like nothing is motivating me enough to stay onboard.
  • allotmentgardener
    allotmentgardener Posts: 248 Member
    Hi. Add me, I log daily and can give support. You've taken a big step by coming on this site. Start off by setting yourself a calorie limit and keep to it. You say you don't like exercise - that is very generic. What about walking around a park or even around where you live? Exercise doesn't have to involve going to a gym or such like if thats not your style.
  • Well I shouldn't say I hate it because when I am smaller I don't mind it and I sometimes find myself lip singing when I do it. I like aerobics and I have an elliptical and a bike. Just being so heavy right now I don't want to do anything. I think the oonly thing that helps is I want to get married in the next couple years but not looking like this that's for sure....Have any good recipes for someone who grew up eating only corn and ceaser salad for vegetables. My house was always steak and potatoes growing up so I don't really like vegetables....
  • jsalzat
    jsalzat Posts: 225 Member
    I still remember how scared and alone I felt when I began 3 months ago. I started a thread to keep me accountable to logging on every day and made lots of very supportive friends along the way. Though it seems sort of paradoxical, I didn't start making progress until my own progress wasn't as important to me as cheering on others who were on a similar path. Suddenly I found myself taking actions necessary that I couldn't do on my own. Logging in daily and logging food and exercise has now become a habit.
    I have had the most success by starting with something very small and committing to do it every day. I used to set myself for failure by expecting too much too fast. I wish you the best of luck on your fitness journey. Please feel free to add me as a friend if you like :flowerforyou:

    "If at first you don't succeed, make a pot of coffee :bigsmile: "
  • pizzafruit
    pizzafruit Posts: 318 Member
    It's amazing how alone one can feel when fighting weight issues. Then we come to a wonderful web site like this we see pictures of participants looking pretty darn thin and healthy and that can be intimidating. We forget that everyone here started out fighting the same fight and many continue the journey to lose weight or maintain. I have been battling my weight and my own issues for many years. If I had a dollar for every time I've started and then gave up, I'd have lots of dollars. But we continue on, we forgive ourselves, we remind ourselves that we are not alone, and most importantly, we come here and are reminded that all is not lost. I wish you well. These message boards are a great source of support and valuable information. Please come back and let us know how you're doing. Feel free to send a friend request! :smile:
  • FireOpalCO
    FireOpalCO Posts: 641 Member
    So here is a prying question. Are you in therapy?

    It sounds like you have a lot of stuff going on in your life and lack a good support system. There is support that we can provide here, but there are limitations. A regular session with a therapist to talk through issues can be a big help just by having a completely safe outlet where you can get feedback from someone trained (and not just spouting "well when I did X..."). Heck there were time when I was in therapy where I was just glad to have someone listen to me vent about the last week for an hour and he/she couldn't change the subject!

    PS. I know you said money was tight, but therapists can frequently be covered by health insurance.
  • dsb188
    dsb188 Posts: 121 Member
    I know its hard but start small. Maybe you should start just logging whatever food you eat. Even if its junk food. Thats how started. Also at first just try to stay under your calories. You may also want to get to the root of why you over eat. For me I overate because I was board, or I was upset, or lonely. I started some new hobbies, started doing crafts etc.

    No one has to save you because you can save yourself and do it for you.
  • sarahjpow
    sarahjpow Posts: 2 Member
    Hi I'm 29 and feel like I do the same things. Feel free to add me. No one on my friend list here logs daily like me or really cares enough to really try. Its not really helpful in the motivation dept.
  • dt3312
    dt3312 Posts: 212 Member
    A book that helped me a lot with my eating is Breaking Free From Emotional Eating by Geneen Roth. Our local library has lots of copies. Or you can get it on Amazon. It has helped me not to binge eat. Example: Before--ate 1/2 bag of chocolate chips for "a little snack". Now-ate 2 chocolate chips and was satisfied.
  • lwestmill
    lwestmill Posts: 91 Member
    You can add me if you want. I love food too. Its a hard battle to overcome.
    However, if you start noticing the Maintenance Community Board, those that finally make their weight, some are still frustrated because it never ends. You still have to continue to watch your calories and exercise. One girl said she was still unhappy, and it wasn't the food that was the problem. Yes, she felt better because she fit into her clothes but it was something missing and she was still depressed. I was in shock after I read that!

    I'll say one thing. Being on this site and talking it out with people who understand has done wonders for me. Yes, I too may have a problem of eating that I haven't solved yet but maybe I will find it someday reading other's examples.

    I think I am going to give the book that dt3312 was recommending, " Breaking Free From Emotional Eating" a look through. She may have some good advise there. We gotta start somewhere to find the answers to why we eat the way we do.

    Thank you for being so honest and posting. Good luck hun.
  • CrusaderSam
    CrusaderSam Posts: 180 Member
    Step 1: Find low cal food you enjoy eating
    Step 2: Find exercise you enjoy doing
    Step 3: ?????????
    Step 4: Profit

    Oh we all get that feeling at some point. That we are alone and no one understands or at least I know I did, but feeling sorry for yourself isn't the answer. If I did know the answer I would be a very rich man, the only thing I do know is eating wont help the problem.
  • Thanks everyone! I know once I get on board again and my self esteem starts to improveonce again it will get easier. like I said I'm just having troubles starting again. I love hearing encouragement from people that have been through similar situations because I have been thin before so I have the tools but need people for tips and to share stories and struggles with. I will definitely check out that book mentioned I am a person that gets inspired easy but doesn't stay on track. My best friend always says I'm very black or white I either go all out with things or don't try at all, that is probably why I gain and lose such a huge mass I go from starving to binge eating. I forget all the time I'm not the only one! Please keep posting I would love to make friends in the same kind of situation. :happy:

    Ps I know my story sounds like I'm feeling sorry to myself, but in all reality I am actually huge with my pride and am a very strong g person I guess I'm letting it out know because I found some people who may understand weight and health struggles
  • Step 1: Find low cal food you enjoy eating
    Step 2: Find exercise you enjoy doing
    Step 3: ?????????
    Step 4: Profit

    Oh we all get that feeling at some point. That we are alone and no one understands or at least I know I did, but feeling sorry for yourself isn't the answer. If I did know the answer I would be a very rich man, the only thing I do know is eating wont help the problem.

    I don't feel sorry for myself I am very proud of who I am becoming. I just have one weakness and have the balls to ask for advice because my strength in this area lacks. When I lost alot of weight I was cocky too, good luck with that.
  • CrusaderSam
    CrusaderSam Posts: 180 Member
    Oh I know I could regain all the weight, and fast too. Its good that you are taking the first steps but if you didn't feel shame you wouldn't be sneaking food. You have to toughen yourself up, because people suck and wont always be there for you. I was lucky I had real life friends helping me out but I also had more trying to hold me back. Someone random person on the internet was mean to you, what now? Go eat a pizza? Get your sht together, deal with it, with out using food and move on. I know its tough but sometimes we need it and its the best advice I can give.
  • bridgie101
    bridgie101 Posts: 817 Member
    I'm 23 years old and in the past 4 years I have been from 255lbs to 180lbs to 220lbs to 147lbs and now 244lbs! I'm so addicted to food and I feel so alone and out of control. No one understands how hard it is. I spend so much money on healthy foods and then I just end up going into debt buying junk food like pizza or McDonald's. I closet eat when my boyfriend is at work, I hate exercising and my family just tells me to suck it up. I just need a friend for support who understands and can help me. I don't have the money for a trainer or a nutritionist I tried that already and I do good for a week then go back to junk. I bought my first place on my own at 21 I live a pretty stressful life and I need help! Anyone out there with a big heart could really save me right now!

    My dear you have an eating disorder - that doesn't mean anything major, it just means you have to go see the doctor and let him know about the closet eating and going into debt to buy junk food. You're having a personal crisis that is impacting on your eating. :) Don't worry too much but see what your doctor says, maybe counselling would help you unburden and release some stress.
  • leantool
    leantool Posts: 365 Member
    Dear girl, you are not alone, there are more people than you think,who have abused food to numb emotional turmoils and ended up much heavier,yours truly included.you have recognized that you have a problem,which is really the first step. i think you need a therapist to sort out the emotional aspect of your problem.try and connect to overeaters anonymous, you may find that helpful.
    Log every morsel BEFORE you put it in your mouth,use the phone app if needed.seeing the calories mount up before your eyes may actually help.
    Take care and be happy.
  • txcraftr
    txcraftr Posts: 133 Member
    Have you heard of the Food Addiction Diet? Look up KayShepard.com. Her eating plan stops the cravings. I have stayed on it for quite a while. I lost 30 pounds in 3 months and realized that I am sensitive to gluten and when I eat wheat bread I never feel satisfied. I could eat the whole loaf and then eat a whole cake. It is pretty easy to follow and as long as you eat everything you can eat you will be full and satisfied. Let me know if you want to try it. Her book "The First Bite" is very good.
  • zandma
    zandma Posts: 6 Member
    Me too hun...I feel alot like you...if you need a friend im here....its tough...I know
  • Skrib69
    Skrib69 Posts: 687 Member
    Wow, there is a lot going on here.... It is easy to give you the mechanical answer - log everything, eat at a calorie deficit, get some exercise but it sounds like you know all that already. It is also easy to say 'Someone upsets you: suck it up and resist that pizza', but doing that is a lot easier to say than do when you are battling with emotions.

    We have all ben there to one degree or another whether it is the chocolate covered biscuits sitting in the cupboard saying 'eat me eat me', or an emotional reaction to a need for help and understanding. Until you understand what is making you feel this way, it is going to be very hard to deal with it. It may be that you need some help in getting to the bottom of your issues, or maybe you can sit down with paper and a pen on a good day and work it out for yourself. Either way, you are not alone, it is not your fault, and there is a way forward.

    Some people use their wall as a sounding board to get things off their chest and work things out. I dare say there are many others who see a professional several times a month and pay to get it resolved - you just have to find what works for you. To be honest, you are putting the right foot forward by being on this site and asking the questions. Pick through the advice, sorting out what you agree with and what you think is crap, and sort out something that works for you. Bear in mind that good advice can also be the advice that we don't want to hear!

    Unfortunately everyone is different and there is no instant answer. It takes time and a lot of effort so never stop trying. We can not succeed as many times as we like, but we only fail when we stop trying. Never stop trying - it will be worth it!
  • sherrymwebb
    sherrymwebb Posts: 21 Member
    It's baby steps. Pick a couple things and replace them with something healthy. I was a big chip and dip eater. I stopped buying those and replaced it with fruit. When I felt I wanted a snack I would munch of fruit. The first few day are hard, but it does get easier! Now I have cut out processed food. If it comes in a box I don't eat it. Granted there will be days you stumble and fall. We all do. The main thing is you pick yourself back up and jump back on. Its not going to be a walk in the park. If it was easy none of us would be here. But you have started right and asked for support, keep the thoughts of why you want this and set small goals. Remember baby steps! I log daily, feel free to add me as a friend.
  • jobiwan83
    jobiwan83 Posts: 4
    One thing you are not is alone. I think you'll find there are so many of us on here in the same boat as you. Okay so you comfort eat when you're stressed...so do I and so do many of the people replying to you too...but remember you are only human and unfortunately our emotions can be a complete pain in the bum and pulling a chair up to the fridge can feel like the only thing that will help. I've yo-yo'd with my weight too but I've just restarted this plan 3 weeks ago and I think my big learn is to not be too hard on yourself. You'll have a wobble from time to time and lose track but don't dwell and just move on past it because tomorrow is a new day. The internet is amazing for yummy low calorie recipes so you can do this :-) Go You!!
  • We all have try many exercises in our life in order to lose weight. But is it possible to live life in a smart way?
  • scb515
    scb515 Posts: 133 Member
    Addicted to food? Certainly not alone. I would wager the majority of us have ended up here because we like food too much.

    You need to find your willpower. You say you want to get married in the next few years looking different - can you turn that into your motivating force? Without freaking out your boyfriend, maybe look for a picture of a gorgeous dress (doesn't have to be a wedding dress) that you would love to wear, but you know doesn't suit your current weight.

    You also need to identify why you're eating. Are you hungry? Sad? Bored? There will be a trigger.

    Closet eating - ooh, we've all been there. For me, I used to stuff my face in secret so no one would judge what I was eating. Food is so much more enjoyable when you take your time. Who cares who sees you eating? Eat when you want to, not in those gaps where you think you can. When you feel less panicked, you make better choices.

    I have worked really hard to figure out when I'm actually hungry and when I'm actually full. Should be simple, but after a lifetime overeating, you have to really put in the effort to relearn those points. It's okay to stop eating, think about it and start eating again if it turns out you are still a little hungry. And if you are full, it's okay to bin food. No, really.

    How satisfying is a McDonald's? For me, it always seems like a good idea until I eat a meal, then I feel slightly sick and full of regret. I hold onto those feelings for when I feel like another one. I don't know why radioactive processed cheese is so appealing, but it is. But I can harness that memory of 'ughhh, why did I eat that?' and use it to prevent a repeat. It's all about retraining yourself.

    As for exercise, I started with walking. There are loads of apps which feed into MFP (I use RunKeeper, but there are others). Walking is the least scary exercise there is. You can even pretend you're not exercising when you do it. What are you doing? Working out? No, you're going somewhere! Secret exercise for the win.

    Healthy, fit people eat balanced diets with all kinds of fruit and veg - and they do all kinds of hardcore exercise. Don't let that intimidate you. You're not looking to copy that lifestyle. The way you eat now is pretty bad, right? So if you make one small change, yes, it may not be in the same league, but you'll be eating better. Stop comparing yourself to other people. This is about you.

    Switch full fat soda for low fat. Eat one course less when you're dining out. Swap deep pan pizza for thin crust. Actually, while you're at it, halve the portion and bulk up with salad.

    Doesn't matter how small the changes, they are all steps in the right direction. Go as fast or as slow as suits you - step it up only when you feel ready. Don't scare yourself, you're in control. And you can totally do this. We all have the potential to turn our weight around. Promise.

    If you feel like you're struggling, post here in the forums or message someone. You're welcome to message me if you like. A lot of the battle is mental - once you're in the right frame of mind, it gets so much easier.
  • tigerette12
    tigerette12 Posts: 14 Member
    Hi!
    I am a recovering food addict! I medicated with food. I got sad, I ate, I got pissed off at people I ate. I felt lonely I ate more. I felt fat I ate, I felt bad for eating so figured why not just eat more.
    I would order dinner out, eat half, take half home. I could not sleep till I went back into the fridge at midnight and ate all the left overs!
    I recently had something bad happen to me which made me take a hard look at myself. I realized I could continue on this horrid cycle or finally do something about it for good. I still eat when I want to but I dont medicate with food anymore. If I am feeling lonely or depressed I go walk. The first step is honestly the hardest one you will make. 7 days later you will slowly start to change things. My one piece of advice do not change to much all at once. Cut out things every week. I started with lowering my sugar intake, the second week I went to no more deep fried food . I used another app for a long time and before I joined here I had managed to lose 35 pounds. It was not easy! I now hate fast food and cant stand the taste of soda. I mean it is awful! I tried Burger King the other day took one bit of my burger and threw it out. I went home and had a sandwich with a salad.
    Every single little step you take will lead you in the direction of a healthier you. I also had to adjust my thinking. I am not losing weight to look pretty. I am pretty! I am losing weight to be healthy so hopefully with lots of luck it will not take me another 7 years to get pregnant and I will not miscarry the next one. I wish I had this knowledge 7 years ago for I could be healthy and not turning 40 worrying if I will ever have children.
    If you ever just need to vent feel free to message me anytime. I know sometimes it just helps to tell someone and then its better. You are at the start of a long journey and there will be set backs but see your healthy self at the end of that road. You can do it and you can do it for you and nobody else.
  • I know what I should eat and what I shouldn't but I have ibs and a low thyroid as well so I find alot of restrictions this time around. Any one ever been told to eat low fodmap?