I have thrown my hands up!

Options
I have been working so hard, eating the right foods, counting calories, exercising. I have not always been steady at working towards weight loss. I turned 30 in March, so March 1, I committed myself to getting down to business and working my *kitten* off. March came and went, and then had a follow up at the doctor, and I had only lost 3 lbs. In 31 days, I had only lost 3 lbs. With my weight, BMI, decrease in calories and significant increase in activity, I should have lost a lot more weight. So I quit! Yes, call me a quitter, it wont make me mad, because I know its true at this point. But I dont want to be a quitter.

I even threw my scales away!

I quit smoking April 2, and have stayed quit and feel a million bucks better in the breathing department, but I am still a Fat Girl! I need to lose weight, I need to physically feel and look better. I put a bathing suit on Saturday, and I bawled and I cried and I was pathetic.

I dont want to be fat anymore, I just want to feel normal and good. I want to wear a shirt without a Spanx (those things are wicked hot in NC summers!). I guess I just need some motivation.

Currently, I am 5'4" and approximately 220-225, somewhat educated, but I did throw my scales away :( .

I am at a standstill and dont know where to go from here or what to do.
«1

Replies

  • PJPrimrose
    PJPrimrose Posts: 916 Member
    Options
    Throw your hands up a few more times...then bend down, run in a circle and yell "I can do this!!!" At the top of your lungs because, my friend, you CAN do this. It's a lifestyle not a "diet". You'll get used to it and be fine!
  • michab108
    michab108 Posts: 25 Member
    Options
    I've been there many times. For me, I found the trick to getting back on the wagon was being nice to myself. Sometimes it's too overwhelming to do food and exercise together, especially when you are already feeling down. I've found that if I just get the eating more or less under control, and then move on to the exercise, it's more manageable.

    Don't give up. Set small mile markers for yourself. You'll get there. Be nice to yourself. This is a challenge. It's not easy. Give yourself credit for taking those small steps. You're here, there are lots of people to give you support. You can do it!
  • ncbeachprincess
    Options
    I have went as far as going to my Dr and talking about Bariatric surgery, but that really scares me, and I have 0 co-morbidities, so it would be difficult for me to qualify with my insurance company. I feel that mentally I am going through my mid-life crisis already. I don't know if its because I turned 30 and then only lost 3 lbs all in the same month, who knows.

    Starting small does sound a lot better than what I have been doing. If only I could love exercise as much as I love to eat!
  • PinkyFett
    PinkyFett Posts: 842 Member
    Options
    Get your thyroid checked.

    This was so me, minus smoking, before I knew I had hashimotos.
  • Calliope610
    Calliope610 Posts: 3,771 Member
    Options
    I have been working so hard, eating the right foods, counting calories, exercising. I have not always been steady at working towards weight loss. I turned 30 in March, so March 1, I committed myself to getting down to business and working my *kitten* off. March came and went, and then had a follow up at the doctor, and had only lost 3 lbs. In 31 days, I had only lost 3 lbs. With my weight, BMI, decrease in calories and significant increase in activity, I should have lost a lot more weight. So I quit! Yes, call me a quitter, it wont make me mad, because I know its true at this point. But I dont want to be a quitter.

    I even threw my scales away!

    I quit smoking April 2, and have stayed quit and feel a million bucks better in the breathing department, but I am still a Fat Girl! I need to lose weight, I need to physically feel and look better. I put a bathing suit on Saturday, and I bawled and I cried and I was pathetic.

    I dont want to be fat anymore, I just want to feel normal and good. I want to wear a shirt without a Spanx (those things are wicked hot in NC summers!). I guess I just need some motivation.

    Currently, I am 5'4" and approximately 220-225, somewhat educated, but I did throw my scales away :( .

    I am at a standstill and dont know where to go from here or what to do.

    So you are losing at a rate of 1lb every 10 days. So do I. That means in the last 476 days of active MFP participation, I have have 47.6lbs - from 232lbs to my current 184.4(as of this morning). And I'm keeping it off - that's what matters in the long run. So I will take that 3lbs/mo loss everyday, all day long.
  • BrainyBurro
    BrainyBurro Posts: 6,129 Member
    Options
    I have been working so hard, eating the right foods, counting calories, exercising. I have not always been steady at working towards weight loss. I turned 30 in March, so March 1, I committed myself to getting down to business and working my *kitten* off. March came and went, and then had a follow up at the doctor, and I had only lost 3 lbs. In 31 days, I had only lost 3 lbs. With my weight, BMI, decrease in calories and significant increase in activity, I should have lost a lot more weight. So I quit! Yes, call me a quitter, it wont make me mad, because I know its true at this point. But I dont want to be a quitter.

    I even threw my scales away!

    I quit smoking April 2, and have stayed quit and feel a million bucks better in the breathing department, but I am still a Fat Girl! I need to lose weight, I need to physically feel and look better. I put a bathing suit on Saturday, and I bawled and I cried and I was pathetic.

    I dont want to be fat anymore, I just want to feel normal and good. I want to wear a shirt without a Spanx (those things are wicked hot in NC summers!). I guess I just need some motivation.

    Currently, I am 5'4" and approximately 220-225, somewhat educated, but I did throw my scales away :( .

    I am at a standstill and dont know where to go from here or what to do.

    your problem is impatience and a lack of understanding of what sort of things can affect the reading of your scale.

    it's entirely possible that you lost 6lbs or 7lbs that month and the scale only showed a 3lb loss as a result of water retention on the day you weighed yourself. your weight changes all throughout the day and from day to day for a variety of reasons. you are constantly retaining and shedding water. since these daily fluctuations can be as much as 3lbs-4lbs (and i've even seen 7lbs on myself!), you have to be more patient. the longer you stick to a calorie deficit, the more weight you'll lose and the amount of fluctuation will become a smaller and smaller % of your loss, allowing you more and more confidence in the number on your scale. right now, the fluctuation is such a large percentage that you're seeing scale readings that don't make sense and frustrate you, which leads many people (yourself included) to quit.

    you have to get past that thought process. start thinking longer term. 3 months and 6 months goals, instead of monthly goals. the first couple of months, your weight loss will be all over the place on the scale. it's not an accurate reflection of what's truly happening... so long as you are logging accurately and honestly and have set your calorie goal properly, no matter what the scale says, you're losing weight. this is true for almost everyone.

    there will be a small percentage of people who are outliers. these people have BMRs that are higher or lower than what a BMR calculator will tell them. this can be for many reasons and the only way to know if you're one of those people is to log properly for a longer period of time (3-6 months) and then compare your results with your predicted results and then refine your calorie goal accordingly. very few people will have to worry about this though... mostly people with a messed up metabolism due to years of yo-yo dieting and/or a past history of EDs and/or some medical condition.
  • Lizzy622
    Lizzy622 Posts: 3,705 Member
    Options
    First give yourself a hug. ((H)) By quitting smoking exercise should start being easier and more fun. Find something you love to do and do it. Try not to think of it as hard work but as doing what you need to do to love yourself. :flowerforyou:
  • AbsolutelyAnnie
    AbsolutelyAnnie Posts: 2,695 Member
    Options
    Congrats on quitting smoking. This is huge! I quit in September 2013 and I totally get what a big deal this is.

    Purchase two scales. One for your bathroom to weigh yourself and a food scale for your kitchen counter to weigh your food. Whether you decide to weigh yourself daily or weekly you need a good accurate scale. Remember that this is only scientific data and not an indicator of your worth, beauty, or lovability. Keep the kitchen scale on the counter so you will use it to weigh every bit of solid food that goes in your mouth. Measure liquids and spreads with measuring cups and spoons. Log your food like it's your job. Drink plenty of water. Get enough sleep.

    Read these two articles.

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1080242-a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants

    and

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/819055-setting-your-calorie-and-macro-targets

    Get some friends and keep your diary open at least to your friends. Send me a friend request if you'd like.

    We do this for as long as we have to, as often as we need to. You CAN do this. Really, you can.
  • jaynalawayna
    jaynalawayna Posts: 80 Member
    Options
    I know how you feel - believe me - I've been on MFP for a little over 2 years now and I have lost 6 pounds. Granted I had just come off of a 30 pound loss then plateau that took place starting in July 2011. Slow loss is frustrating - but I feel better when I move and eat right. I did not put all my weight on in a year or even 2 years - it took decades to get me to the 260 I was at at my highest point. I dropped 40 pounds after giving birth and kept it off for 15 years. A health scare made me really start counting everything about what I was eating and burning and I dropped 30 more. Now I am leveling off - losing about a pound every 4 months - but it's staying off, and that's good. Nothing has to happen all at once - feel good about yourself and your choices. The rest will follow.
  • ncbeachprincess
    Options
    Get your thyroid checked.

    This was so me, minus smoking, before I knew I had hashimotos.

    Everything is perfect in m blood panels and other exams/tests.
  • BrainyBurro
    BrainyBurro Posts: 6,129 Member
    Options
    one last thing... go read this.

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1080242-a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants

    then re-read it. follow the links and read those too. that will give you the fundamental knowledge you need to know to understand how to lose weight and why your body is losing/gaining/maintaining.

    lots of people don't really understand the science behind weight loss, so they jump from one diet fad/gimmick to another without ever really having any sort of success dieting. getting off that roller coaster is the first step towards finally losing that weight, in a way that doesn't make you feel deprived, and which can be maintained indefinitely when you're done.
  • Lauraroseavery
    Options
    Unfortunately it is hard, losing weight isn't easy. Every day it's a struggle to make the right food choices and motivating yourself to exercise. It will get easier where choosing eth right foods will make you feel better and eating bad foods or even large quantities will make you feel terrible so you'll avoid them. Eventually exercise will become a necessity just cause you feel better doing it.
    Give your self a break, it's okay if you make mistakes, just use every day as restart.
    The scales can be deceiving, try measuring yourself too, I know had worked hard for two weeks and then gained 3 lbs... I was also very annoyed but then I measured myself and I had lost inches around my waist and hips.
    Making such a drastic life change takes time to adjust, keep at it and you will see results :)
  • ncbeachprincess
    Options
    Last year, for most of the year, I was an avid MFP'er. I was losing weight, eating great, and I couldn't have felt more awesome. Then I started having problems in my marriage and everything in my life went all to he*!. I immediately changed everything about myself that I was doing. I maintained that miserable lifestyle, until March.

    I know that with my weight and activity levels, I lose way more than 3 lbs per month. When I go to the dr, I go first thing in the morning, fasting as well. I never know when my Dr wants to do bloodwork or something like that. Theres no plausible reason why the weight loss was only 3 lbs. And its not really a matter of impatience, its I know that I am capable of much more than that, and didnt come anywhere close to what my "norm" is.
  • cebreisch
    cebreisch Posts: 1,340 Member
    Options
    It's so aggravating to me that doctors will tell you to lose weight and not give any direction as to how to do so other than decrease your calories.

    I'm 5'4", and have been down to around 230 in the past year. I can sympathize.

    After starting at 376 pounds in April 2011, and meeting with bariatric dietician's, etc., there are some things that have helped me:

    The better quality food you have, the more of it you can have. I'm talking about grilled things vs. fried things. Veggies vs. starches. That sort of thing. "whole foods" - foods that are as close as possible to the way "nature made them" or not so much processed stuff.

    Focus on protein, and the fats/carbs will take care of themselves. A nutritionist told me that and I've found it to be pretty accurate.
    Make sure you're choosing grilled chicken over fried chicken - or quality proteins. I like light string cheese, greek yogurt, eggs, grilled chicken, grilled sirloin steak. I use ground turkey in my chili and spaghetti recipe's.

    Drink your water.

    With starches, it's a "choose your doom" sort of thing. if you REALLY want them, choose carefully. Would you rather have a bun on your sandwich or the fries that come with the sandwich? Would you rather have the bread the waitress brings before the meal, or the baked potato that comes with the meal? Choose what you really want, not what you think is most healthy. After all, if you start feeling deprived, it's not a good thing.

    If you try to "change the world" right out of the gate, then you're likely to blow yourself out quick. What I mean by that is: Trying to eat clean, and work out 4 hours a day every day, because that's what you think you should be doing to get the job done. Truthfully, it's more about what you eat than what you do with your body, and the more you ease your way into it, the better off you'll be.

    Change enough that it presents a bit of a challenge, but not so much that it blow's you out. It has to be "live-able." When I first started, one of my first changes was bringing my breakfast to work instead of getting something from a fast food place. I started bringing yogurt, fruit, light string cheese, etc. Once I got "used" to that, I'd change something else.....drinking more water while at work. Once I got used to that, I'd narrow down the amount of diet soda to once a day, maybe twice. That way you're easing your way into the changes.

    Make sure you have enough fiber too. I have chocolite protein bars to do that with - www.healthsmartfoods.com and you can get coupon codes from www.retailmenot.com.

    Going to see a dietician might be a good idea. They can give you good ideas on how to swap things out for better choices, etc.

    Just some things that have helped me.....for what it's worth...
  • mistiblake08
    mistiblake08 Posts: 80 Member
    Options
    I went three weeks without even losing a pound. I wasn't taking in enough calories to balance out what I was burning off and my body rebelled. So I decreased my exercising to 9-13 minutes of jogging and ate back 75% of what I burned. I got off of that plateau and dropped 4 pounds!

    What you need to do is measure your food for a more accurate intake and get a heart rate monitor along with a measuring tape. You could be losing inches and not pounds, which is just as great! And you have to allow yourself some leeway. You have go teach yourself to eat better and eat less. It will take some tome. Your body will rebel to start with before it lets go of its habits. And you need to be drinking 8 cups of water a day. That will help your body to release water instead of holding onto it.
  • LanaeCarol
    LanaeCarol Posts: 158 Member
    Options
    It can be discouraging to "only" lose 3 pounds in a month. BUT that puts you 3 pounds healthier. Every little bit helps. Don't give up but maybe have fewer things you are working on at once.

    If you try to change too many things all at once you are more likely to "fail" at one (or more) of them and then decide that it is unmanageable and quit. Instead, maybe spend a couple of weeks or a month reducing sugar containing drinks and increasing water. Keep logging during this time because it will help you learn calories in things and which things have what macros, etc. Don't obsess over whether you make your calorie goal or not. Then when you are drinking lots of water and not pop or a lot of juice, add in more veggies. Give that a couple of weeks then reduce sugary treats. Then pick something else to work on.

    When you have your diet pretty well organized add in exercise goals. Maybe a walk each day or take a class at a local gym. Or exercise videos (YouTube has tons you can get for free). Gradually increase the intensity &/or duration. You may even find something to do for exercise that you really enjoy. Then when you don't do a scheduled workout, you will miss it.

    When you are not trying to be perfect all at once you may find it easier. And reward yourself (not with food) for succeeding in making these changes. Jewelry, music, clothes, workout equipment, spa treatments, books, etc. all make good rewards. At first you may feel like you are just earning the reward but eventually you WILL lose weight and be healthier.

    On a side note: Did you measure yourself when you started? You may have lost more inch-wise than pound-wise. Sometimes when the scale doesn't change much or stays still, the inches come off.
  • ncbeachprincess
    Options
    It's so aggravating to me that doctors will tell you to lose weight and not give any direction as to how to do so other than decrease your calories.

    My doctor gave me a "menu" to stick to.

    Breakfast- 1/2 c Bran cereal, 1/4 c skim milk. Ok, I am ok with Bran cereal, but look lady doctor, 1/2 c?!?!? really???
    Lunch- small salad, no dressing. Ok, well I think I may choke now.
    Dinner- 2 oz lean meat, 1/4 c steamed veggies.

    So you get the idea. I was going to starve myself and at the same time, be irritable, grumpy, hold onto any fat that my body was getting, because it would really think it was starving.

    In March, I did add protein shakes before breakfast and one as an afternoon snack. That was difficult, as the different ones i tried all tasted like tree bark with Spelnda.
  • ncbeachprincess
    Options

    On a side note: Did you measure yourself when you started? You may have lost more inch-wise than pound-wise. Sometimes when the scale doesn't change much or stays still, the inches come off.

    No, I have never measured myself, I honestly haven't put much thought into it, until everyone in this post a has suggested it. SO I assume that its a great thing for me to do!
  • Calliope610
    Calliope610 Posts: 3,771 Member
    Options
    It's so aggravating to me that doctors will tell you to lose weight and not give any direction as to how to do so other than decrease your calories.

    My doctor gave me a "menu" to stick to.

    Breakfast- 1/2 c Bran cereal, 1/4 c skim milk. Ok, I am ok with Bran cereal, but look lady doctor, 1/2 c?!?!? really???
    Lunch- small salad, no dressing. Ok, well I think I may choke now.
    Dinner- 2 oz lean meat, 1/4 c steamed veggies.


    So you get the idea. I was going to starve myself and at the same time, be irritable, grumpy, hold onto any fat that my body was getting, because it would really think it was starving.

    In March, I did add protein shakes before breakfast and one as an afternoon snack. That was difficult, as the different ones i tried all tasted like tree bark with Spelnda.

    Your "doctor" suggested a diet of less than 400cals/day??? Get another doctor! And regarding your "norm"... your "norm" can change, especially when the body undergoes stressors as marriage difficulties. Determine your TDEE, eat at a 500 calorie deficit, get moderate cardio exercise and start strength training. And add some patience. Problems solved.
  • stephanne13
    stephanne13 Posts: 212 Member
    Options
    It's so aggravating to me that doctors will tell you to lose weight and not give any direction as to how to do so other than decrease your calories.

    My doctor gave me a "menu" to stick to.

    Breakfast- 1/2 c Bran cereal, 1/4 c skim milk. Ok, I am ok with Bran cereal, but look lady doctor, 1/2 c?!?!? really???
    Lunch- small salad, no dressing. Ok, well I think I may choke now.
    Dinner- 2 oz lean meat, 1/4 c steamed veggies.

    So you get the idea. I was going to starve myself and at the same time, be irritable, grumpy, hold onto any fat that my body was getting, because it would really think it was starving.

    In March, I did add protein shakes before breakfast and one as an afternoon snack. That was difficult, as the different ones i tried all tasted like tree bark with Spelnda.

    Try squeezing a little bit of lemon on your salad...it's quite good!