Getting out of a toxic relationship

ashcky
ashcky Posts: 393 Member
in Motivation and Support
I just ended my relationship of 3.5 years last night and I feel lost. I'm hoping now I can start on the road to a happier, healthier me. Any tips for those who have ended toxic relationships? He is the father of our two children but I don't know how long he will remain a part of their lives. I hope he will stick around for them but only time will tell.

Replies

  • OliviaCounts
    OliviaCounts Posts: 36 Member
    I went through this five months ago. I am so sorry for your pain. Congratulations on getting out and focusing on you!

    I found it helpful to distance myself from him as much as possible to encourage healing, especially for the first little while as you adjust to life without him. It'll be tougher for you to avoid him with your kids involved, but don't let him drag you down to the place you were before. Your kids are lucky to have such a strong mom!

    I've lost a lot of weight since Christmas and I feel better every day! You can do it! Best of luck to you :)
  • AddieOverhaul
    AddieOverhaul Posts: 734 Member
    I ended a toxic relationship about 3.5 years ago. We were together for 3 years, but didn't have any kids (and I am very glad that I have no ties to him now). I took a year to really focus on myself - asking what I wanted my life to look like in the future and what did I need to do to get there. I started living a healthier lifestyle and lost almost 40 pounds. I made new friends. I got a new great job. Today I am 1000 times happier than I ever was with him. Just be strong, and focus on you and what you need. Try to limit any contact with him - I know that's tough with kids involved but do the best you can. Good luck.
  • leilaphoenix
    leilaphoenix Posts: 839 Member
    You need to be happy to provide happiness for those around you. Focus on doing the things that you need to do to find happiness and everything else will fall in to place. Take pride in yourself and move on.
  • Smirnoff65
    Smirnoff65 Posts: 1,060 Member
    Take the hurt and pain that you are feeling at the moment and turn it in to something posiitive, focus on yourself and your children, you have your whole life to look forward to and I'm sure some time in the near future you will look back at this time and be glad that you have left that toxic relationship behind you. Good luck
  • hiker583
    hiker583 Posts: 91 Member
    How did you do it? I am in one for last 10 years, it was great for the first 5, but last 5 have been really demanding. We kind of care about each other, and have lot of fun when we travel and do things together. But daily life is a drag, I am constantly unhappy and stressed around him. I find him totally unsupportive of anything that does not concern him (e.g. my weight loss, or my need to find another job). On top of that I hate my work and my team. And I am getting nowhere with my weight loss. So among all these things, whenever I see a chocolate bar or ice-cream, I feel that I deserve at least that in my life and eat it. That of course creates the circle.

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